No matter who your partner is or what kind of relationship you have, breaking up can be terrifying — even when you’re the one initiating. So what should you say to gracefully maneuver this difficult conversation?

There are ways you can prepare and deliver your message to turn this dreaded conversation into one that can benefit both parties. Remember: breaking up doesn’t have to be a bad thing. With planning, thoughtfulness, and the right preparation, you can create the best possible experience for you and your partner — while staying true to your intentions.

In this episode of Your Secret is Safe With Me, Dr. Marie Murphy shares strategies for carrying out your breakup conversation. She talks about the importance of getting clear on your message, how to find the positives in a breakup, setting boundaries with your partner, and dealing with the waves of discomfort following the conversation.