January 27, 2025

#78 - Boundaries vs. Abandonment: How to Prioritize Yourself Without Guilt

43 minutes

This week I talk to Steve, who is trying to balance his care for a friendship that has become emotionally draining, with his care for himself, and we explore questions many of us grapple with:

How do we distinguish between setting boundaries and abandoning someone we care about?
How do we honor our own well-being while remaining compassionate toward others?

You’ll hear Steve’s initial conversation about his struggle to let go of a friendship that isn’t meeting his emotional needs, followed by a powerful follow-up discussion two weeks later as he reflects on his journey.

Episode Highlights:

3:12 Steve’s Initial Question: Detaching from a friendship that has become emotionally unbalanced.
10:00 A script for disengaging from a friendship
12:00 Part 2 Intro
16:40 What is making it difficult to disengage?
21:10 The Role of Validation: How seeking external affirmation can lead to unhealthy dynamics.
29:03 Caring for the impact of our actions is not the same as feeling responsible for them.
30:31 Closing thoughts: Tools for Boundaries and Clarity: Strategies for balancing care for others with self-compassion.
37:20 Questions to ask yourself when wanting to disengage.

Key Takeaways:

Setting boundaries is not about rejecting others; it’s about preserving your own emotional well-being.
Guilt often arises from taking too much responsibility for others’ emotions—self-compassion is key.
Fulfilling relationships are rooted in reciprocity and mutual respect; it’s okay to let go when that’s missing.

Resources Mentioned:

Blog: Boundaries vs. Abandonment: How to Prioritize Yourself Without Guilt

Boundaries Masterclass: A step-by-step guide to setting boundaries that both connect and protect.

Free Resources: Explore tools for self-compassion and emotional clarity at yvetteerasmus.com.

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By Yvette Erasmus

4545 ratings

January 27, 2025

#78 - Boundaries vs. Abandonment: How to Prioritize Yourself Without Guilt

43 minutes

This week I talk to Steve, who is trying to balance his care for a friendship that has become emotionally draining, with his care for himself, and we explore questions many of us grapple with:

How do we distinguish between setting boundaries and abandoning someone we care about?
How do we honor our own well-being while remaining compassionate toward others?

3:12 Steve’s Initial Question: Detaching from a friendship that has become emotionally unbalanced.
10:00 A script for disengaging from a friendship
12:00 Part 2 Intro
16:40 What is making it difficult to disengage?
21:10 The Role of Validation: How seeking external affirmation can lead to unhealthy dynamics.
29:03 Caring for the impact of our actions is not the same as feeling responsible for them.
30:31 Closing thoughts: Tools for Boundaries and Clarity: Strategies for balancing care for others with self-compassion.
37:20 Questions to ask yourself when wanting to disengage.

Key Takeaways:

Setting boundaries is not about rejecting others; it’s about preserving your own emotional well-being.
Guilt often arises from taking too much responsibility for others’ emotions—self-compassion is key.
Fulfilling relationships are rooted in reciprocity and mutual respect; it’s okay to let go when that’s missing.