Have you ever been cast as the "villain" in someone else's story?  Perhaps you're seen as the one who got it wrong, didn't do enough, or failed to meet expectations?

Today, we explore what it means to hold our ground in relationships without getting defensive, to listen without justifying, and to accept that sometimes, people need to see us as the problem while they process their own pain.

In today's conversation, Jill's daughter just sent her a long list of parenting grievances.  How can she respond with love and understanding without falling into the trap of proving herself?

And, Jaya keeps finding herself in relationships where she feels small. How does she break the cycle of submission, reclaim her voice, and recognize when a dynamic isn't worth staying in?

Together we'll explore:

✨ Why defensiveness keeps us stuck—and what to do instead  

✨ How to recognize the real need behind someone’s anger or blame  

✨ The difference between explaining and connecting  

✨ How to trust your own voice, even when someone else tries to rewrite the narrative  

✨ When to stay, when to engage, and when to let go  

Show Notes:

• 1:01 Opening comments
• 3:43 My daughter wrote me an angry text and I'm not sure how to best respond.
• 20:55 The healing is not in litigating the past, but happens in the present.
• 27:04 My pattern in relationships is to collapse.  How can I be more assertive?
• 30:47 The key to asking for what we want
• 41:28 Healing requires a regulated nervous system
• 49:23 Closing thoughts

If you've ever felt misunderstood, unfairly judged, or struggled to maintain connection while standing in your truth, this episode is for you.

If you're looking for a high caliber small group where you can deepen your practice and really live into the principles of compassion, non-violence and relational presence, apply for The Mentorship Circle, which will begin November 2nd. It will be three hours every month of advanced teaching, deep discussion, and practical integration. Learn more here.

For ongoing practice and deeper learning, join my monthly membership program. You will find a safe space for live discussions and a supportive community of like-minded, open-hearted humans.

Stay updated on new episodes and resources by subscribing wherever you listen to podcasts or visiting yvetteerasmus.com.

Here are more ways to connect with me:

• Become a member of my online learning community
• Join our calls live
• Set up a private session
• Follow me on TikTok @dr.yvetteerasmus