Why are you married? Did you fall in love with another person and come to a decision to share your lives together with official documentation? Did you feel happy? Or, did you feel pressured, like you had no other choice?

To date, marriage is still seen as the most legitimate form a relationship can take. Coupled with surmounting societal pressure to “settle down” once you reach a certain age, it can be hard to consider that there may be other options—especially if you feel like marriage, or even monogamy, aren’t right for you.

In this episode of Your Secret is Safe with Me, Dr. Marie Murphy sits down with John Corcoran of Rise25 to talk about common myths around infidelity—and why they’re wrong. They discuss the social context around marriage, two big myths about extramarital affairs, and why it’s important to ask yourself honest questions when it comes to the kind of life you want to live. Keep listening for more insight into marriage and why you should stop thinking in black and white.