Conversations from the Heart

#98 - How To Stop Overfunctioning In Relationships - And Start Listening for Fit


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What if the reason your relationships feel hard isn’t because there’s something wrong with you, but rather because you’re waking up and getting more conscious?  

In this tender, truth-filled episode, we meet Carol and Paulina, two women navigating the messy terrain of rebuilding self-trust after giving too much of themselves away in past relationships.

Carol is considering reconnecting with a longtime friend who’s consistently prioritized his comfort over their mutual care. She wants reciprocity but keeps accommodating the status quo, hoping it’ll inspire change. Together, we explore the hidden cost of chronic self-abandonment and what it takes to risk doing things differently.

Paulina, meanwhile, is mourning the loss of a toxic relationship that activated every part of her attachment system. She feels flat, emotionally shut down, and unsure if she can ever love again. Her current relationship is kind, stable… and unfamiliar. We unpack the difference between trauma chemistry and real connection, and how to trust love that doesn’t feel like chaos.

If you’ve ever confused anxiety for attraction, or found yourself resentfully staying in a dynamic that doesn’t meet your needs, this episode is for you.

You’ll learn:

  • How to stop over-functioning in lopsided relationships
  • The difference between behavior and intention, and which one to trust
  • Why real love might feel boring at first (and why that’s a good thing)
  • How to reclaim your yes and no without shame
  • And how to grieve what never was without losing your capacity to love again

Listen in for practical tools, emotional wisdom, and the gentle nudge you may need to come back to yourself.


If you're looking for a high caliber small group where you can deepen your practice and really live into the principles of compassion, non-violence and relational presence, apply for The Mentorship Circle, which will begin November 2nd. It will be three hours every month of advanced teaching, deep discussion, and practical integration. Learn more here.

For ongoing practice and deeper learning, join my monthly membership program. You will find a safe space for live discussions and a supportive community of like-minded, open-hearted humans.

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Conversations from the HeartBy Yvette Erasmus

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