Conversations from the Heart

#98 - How To Stop Overfunctioning In Relationships - And Start Listening for Fit


Listen Later

What if the reason your relationships feel hard isn’t because there’s something wrong with you, but rather because you’re waking up and getting more conscious?  

In this tender, truth-filled episode, we meet Carol and Paulina, two women navigating the messy terrain of rebuilding self-trust after giving too much of themselves away in past relationships.

Carol is considering reconnecting with a longtime friend who’s consistently prioritized his comfort over their mutual care. She wants reciprocity but keeps accommodating the status quo, hoping it’ll inspire change. Together, we explore the hidden cost of chronic self-abandonment and what it takes to risk doing things differently.

Paulina, meanwhile, is mourning the loss of a toxic relationship that activated every part of her attachment system. She feels flat, emotionally shut down, and unsure if she can ever love again. Her current relationship is kind, stable… and unfamiliar. We unpack the difference between trauma chemistry and real connection, and how to trust love that doesn’t feel like chaos.

If you’ve ever confused anxiety for attraction, or found yourself resentfully staying in a dynamic that doesn’t meet your needs, this episode is for you.

You’ll learn:

  • How to stop over-functioning in lopsided relationships
  • The difference between behavior and intention, and which one to trust
  • Why real love might feel boring at first (and why that’s a good thing)
  • How to reclaim your yes and no without shame
  • And how to grieve what never was without losing your capacity to love again

Listen in for practical tools, emotional wisdom, and the gentle nudge you may need to come back to yourself.


To take advantage of today's Flash Sale, go to nvcacademy.com and get Naturalizing NVC: Authentic, Easy, Flowing Speech for 50% off


For ongoing practice and deeper learning, I warmly invite you to become a member of The School of Human Connection

Twice a month, I host live calls where members bring real relationship dilemmas. We slow things down and I'll help you see what's actually happening and how to respond with more integrity, strength and care.

You will find a safe space for live discussions and a supportive community of like-minded, open-hearted humans.

Stay updated on new episodes and resources by subscribing wherever you listen to podcasts or visiting yvetteerasmus.com.

Here are more ways to connect with me:

  • Join the School of Human Connection
  • Hop on my free Wednesday live call
  • Follow me on YouTube
...more
View all episodesView all episodes
Download on the App Store

Conversations from the HeartBy Yvette Erasmus

  • 4.9
  • 4.9
  • 4.9
  • 4.9
  • 4.9

4.9

47 ratings


More shows like Conversations from the Heart

View all
TED Radio Hour by NPR

TED Radio Hour

21,911 Listeners

Hidden Brain by Hidden Brain, Shankar Vedantam

Hidden Brain

43,653 Listeners

The Moth by The Moth

The Moth

27,027 Listeners

The One You Feed | Personal Growth, Emotional Resilience & Purpose by Eric Zimmer

The One You Feed | Personal Growth, Emotional Resilience & Purpose

2,569 Listeners

Jill on Money with Jill Schlesinger by Audacy

Jill on Money with Jill Schlesinger

1,948 Listeners

Tara Brach by Tara Brach

Tara Brach

10,601 Listeners

Good Life Project by Jonathan Fields / Acast

Good Life Project

3,375 Listeners

The Terri Cole Show by Terri Cole

The Terri Cole Show

1,406 Listeners

Sounds True: Insights at the Edge by Tami Simon

Sounds True: Insights at the Edge

1,896 Listeners

10% Happier with Dan Harris by 10% Happier

10% Happier with Dan Harris

12,736 Listeners

Being Well with Forrest Hanson and Dr. Rick Hanson by Rick Hanson, Ph.D., Forrest Hanson

Being Well with Forrest Hanson and Dr. Rick Hanson

2,531 Listeners

Where Should We Begin? with Esther Perel by Esther Perel Global Media

Where Should We Begin? with Esther Perel

14,958 Listeners

Everything Happens with Kate Bowler by Everything Happens Studios

Everything Happens with Kate Bowler

5,140 Listeners

We Can Do Hard Things by Treat Media and Glennon Doyle

We Can Do Hard Things

41,532 Listeners

Wiser Than Me with Julia Louis-Dreyfus by Lemonada Media

Wiser Than Me with Julia Louis-Dreyfus

10,743 Listeners