November 20, 2025

A 90-Second Reset to Calm Narcissist-Triggered Thoughts

9 minutes

Episode Summary

If you’re stuck in obsessive or intrusive thoughts after dealing with a narcissist, you’re not broken — your nervous system is reacting to past trauma and ongoing triggers. In this short somatic episode, you’ll learn a simple 90-second reset that interrupts the mental loop, calms your body, and brings you back into the present.

Designed specifically for survivors who can’t fully go no contact or who are dealing with co-parenting, post-separation abuse, or unpredictable communication.

What You’ll Learn

Why narcissist-triggered thoughts become obsessive

How trauma-bond withdrawal and hypervigilance fuel spirals

The 90-second grounding method that stops the loop

A fast orienting technique that pulls you out of overthinking

How to reduce reactivity and calm your nervous system in real time

Your Next Step in Healing

Work 1:1 with Christy — Coaching & Somatic Healing

1-Month Private Coaching (Nervous System Reset & Support)

https://shethrives.thrivecart.com/transformational-coaching-monthly

3-Month Transformational Coaching (Deep Healing + Identity Rebuild)

Weekly sessions + Voxer support.

https://shethrives.thrivecart.com/transformational-coaching-quarterly

Empowered Boundaries Course

10 video modules + meditation bundle.

https://shethrives.thrivecart.com/empowered-boundaries

Paid Resource: Copy-Paste-Peace Scripts

Instant responses that stop panic and overthinking.

https://shethrives.thrivecart.com/copy-paste-peace-scripts/

Free Resource: Boundaries Pocket Guide

https://christyjade.ck.page/ce79ea9250

Join the Free Facebook Community

https://facebook.com/groups/christyjade

TRANSCRIPT:

Speaker 1 (00:03):

Welcome to your Thursday, thrive in five, your five minute pause from the chaos, the gaslighting, and that text you knew better than to reply to take a breath queen. This one's for you Queen. If you're brain has been running like a hamster on Red Bull since Tuesday's episode, today's Thrive in five is your reset button. And if you did not listen to Tuesday's episode, you may want to also go listen to that, that goes into this way deeper and we'll be very, very helpful to you. Alright, so today though, we have a mini practice that takes under five minutes. So no excuses why you can't use it. And it uses the same loop breaking tools from the full episode Tuesday, but it's condensed into a little tiny, repeatable nervous system ritual you can use. Anytime those thoughts start spiraling. Okay, so let's get you back into your peace bubble. Alright, so step one, the statement that stops the spiral. Okay, say this out loud or in your mind, I'm a big speaker, but you know that I have a podcast, I like to talk out loud. Alright? But you can say it in your mind if you'd like repeat after me. This thought is not a warning, it's a leftover survival response.

(01:34)

So this is a great episode by the way, to save. So you have this and or also write this down in a journal on a sticky note. But with this specific sentence statement, you're letting your brain know this is old danger, not now. Our body is holding something onto something that it feels is reality. Okay? So we're kind of rewiring here. Step two, this is the 92nd reset. So you can place your hand on your heart and you're going to inhale through the nose for four seconds. Practice if you'd like 4, 3, 2, 1, then exhale, 6, 5, 4, 3, 2, 1. And you repeat this for a full minute and a half, okay? And this lengthened exhale tells your nervous system we are safe. Stand down, stand down, everybody, we are safe. Okay, now step three, the orienting practice. If you've been following me, you may have heard of this already, but we're stacking this alongside the breathing and the statement, right?

(02:56)

So this is about 30 seconds. You're going to look around and name five things that you can see. Okay? You're going to check out, oh, that's me in the mirror. I have a mirror in my room. There I am, boom, looking like a queen. My ballerina statue, a picture of me and my husband. Makes my heart all warm and fuzzy. My pineapple pillow. Who else likes pineapples? And let's see what else we got my palm tree painting. So look around for five items in your room. It could even just be your wall and you're just looking at the texture. Whatever is going to pull you into the present moment, your safety present moment, right? So step four, stop the future fantasy. So when your brain jumps to what if they use this line, because I know we do that cycling in our brains. What if they do this? What if they do that? What if they say this? You've got to be able to know you can handle it and you are going to repeat after me. Of course you can write this down, but we're just practicing. We're saying it out loud. We're in our mind because it helps. Alright, I'll handle it if it happens.

(04:20)

Right now I'm here. This ends the mental rehearsal. Your system is stuck in. And step five, the post contact detox, right? Because you know when you have contact with them, you need to just shed that shiz out the door. So after any contact, whether it be text, email, a drop off, seeing their name, do one tiny detox. You can pick one of these. You can shake out your arms, you can take a 10 minute walk, you can put on some Britney Spears or brain dump, just two sentences into your little notes app or somewhere, somewhere private. And this prevents their energy from marinating up in your body all day. Nobody needs that narky energy. Gross. Okay? So I hope that you enjoyed this and are getting value. If you are getting value from these episodes, can you share them with someone who could also use the value?

(05:33)

That's always fun. And make sure you're following along on the podcast. Whatever platform you're on, make sure you hit that follow button on my main page, you just go right to my main page and there should be a follow. So you can't always go no contact, right? But you can go no access. This is emotionally, mentally, spiritually. You can still have control of that. The more of this type of work you do, every time you interrupt that loop, you're teaching your body, this is not an emergency anymore. Isn't that great? This is not an emergency we have, oh that sense of urgency. This is not an emergency anymore, this is not urgent anymore. And that's when your peace starts expanding and you get that golden bubble just burst in with joy. Alright? So if you want to learn not just how to deal with a narcissist, of course that is where my coaching comes in.

(06:33)

But we also do the somatic healing parallel to that. And what does that look like? That is healing from the inside. Like I said, that body remembers everything and stores it. So even when your mind may understand something, your body can get stuck. And PTSD is a good example of that with veterans. They know they're not at war anymore, but their body thinks they are similar mechanism. So if you want help either with the tangible things I deal with a lot, I've been dealing with a lot of co-parenting situations, currently divorces all of that. Or I have a client who just needs help navigating her mother who is narcissistic. They come in all shapes and sizes and relationships. So how do you deal with them if you cannot go no contact? That's my specialty. And then even if you aren't in contact with them anymore, whether you are for co-parenting or they're kind of in your life a little bit, or you have not spoken to them in a year, but you still have thoughts or you still just feel like you have that urgency in general, there's a lot of effects that narcissistic abuse can have on you even after you have left.

(07:56)

So we work on that somatic healing, you might get more of that somatic healing. So these are all programs customized to your needs. And I have a monthly program and I have a three month program and both are amazing of course. But the three month is, there's a little more support in between. You can do a walkie talkie app called Voxer if you haven't heard of it, where you can text or leave voice messages and I'll check that daily. I get back to you within usually like 12 hours. Might be up to 24 depending on my schedule. So you can have a little support in between. So that's kind of the bonus of doing the three month and that's really transformational, okay? Because a queen, but we want you to be a double queen. We're going to be double queen energy, alright? Because you deserve that joy and to feel free from all of this and I can help you. So check out the show notes for more information on that and I will see you in the next episode. Love you. Bye

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By Christy Jade - Narcissistic Abuse Coach, Grey Rock Coach , Gaslighting Expert, No Contact Mentor

4.8

7979 ratings