A HOLY MESS | Purpose, Recovery, Trauma, Life Coaching, Shame, Regret

She shares Deb's stunning story of being prayed over for her health by a fellow board member before she even knew anything was wrong, the brutal honesty of "the red devil" chemo and the agony of 30 mouth blisters, the line that's going to stick with you long after this episode ends ("pull on your big girl panties and just do it"), and Deb's quiet refusal to be a victim even after a lifetime of reasons she could have been one.

In this episode, Dani and Deb talk about getting a stage four diagnosis and the grief work that has to come before acceptance can show up, why you have to actively mourn the loss of who you used to be so you can build a new normal, why being victimized in your past does not mean you have to live as a victim now, how to spot the red flag of isolating yourself when you're struggling, the truth that pity parties are okay as long as they have an end time, the way God shows up most often in the small subtle moments, and what it looks like to carry stage four cancer and still ooze joy because you're not carrying it alone.

If you're walking through any kind of "this is not the life I planned" season, whether it's a diagnosis, a loss, a career ending, a body that doesn't work the way it used to, or just the slow ache of becoming someone new because the old version of you doesn't fit anymore, this episode will feel like a deep breath and a hug and a kick in the ass all at once. Deb is the real deal. And she's living proof that joy and suffering can live in the same body at the same time.

Glad you're here,

Ready to Go to Your Next Level? 💫 Friend, if you're feeling the tug, that stirring inside that says there's MORE for you, I want to talk to you. Whether you're ready to do the deep life transformation work or you feel called to help OTHER people transform their lives, I've got something for you.

🌟 1:1 Life Coaching & Transformation Programs If you're craving more peace, more joy, more purpose, and you're ready to stop just surviving and start THRIVING! Let's connect. Book a free discovery call and let's figure out together if one of my programs is your next right step.

🌟 "Messy Life Transformation Life Coach Certification" --Do you feel called to help people? Are you someone who's been through the hard stuff and now wants to turn that pain into purpose? Getting certified as a life coach through my program is one of the most holy, rich, and powerful things you can do; not just for your clients, but for YOU. It changed my life. And it can change yours.

➡️ Book Your FREE Discovery Call Today ➡️ Visit https://calendly.com/danisumner to schedule your call with Dani.

No magic wand. No magic pill. Just the process, and you don't have to do it alone.

If This Episode Spoke to You… Would you do me a favor and leave a review? It helps so many more people find this community. And share this episode with a friend who needs to hear that they're not where they used to be, and that's WORTH celebrating. 🤍

🌟To learn more about Dani & to join the newsletter list-> https://www.danisumner.com/

🌟 Follow me on YouTube

🤳🏼 ALSO, let's connect on social media: Facebook, Instagram -> Facebook and Instagram

Rough Days Happen. The One-Degree Shift That Will Get You Through Today.

Some days are just cloudy. Inside and out. You didn't sleep well, your energy is off, everything feels a little heavier than it should, and even the work you love feels like a slog. In this episode, Dani gets real about what to do when you're in the middle of a rough day, and why having one doesn't mean you're going backwards.

She shares a beautiful story about a client who almost let Mother's Day spiral her into six months of resentment, until she paused, asked herself, "What would Dani do right now?", and picked up the phone instead. It's a small shift with a huge ripple, and it's exactly the kind of one-degree move that changes everything.

In this episode, Dani talks about why it's okay to be having a hard day (even when you've done all the work), the rule about not making big life or business decisions when you're vibing low, the power of advocating for yourself before bitterness takes root, why "this too shall pass, even if it passes like a kidney stone" is the line you need today, simple somatic moves like 10 jumping jacks or a quick dance break to shift your nervous system, the shitty committee in your head and why you don't have to let it run the next 30 days of your life, and the reminder that resilience isn't about avoiding rough moments, it's about getting through them with grace.

If you're having one of those cloudy, overcast, low-energy days, this episode will feel like a deep breath and a hug and a kick in the ass all at once. You're not broken. You're not behind. You're just human, and you're allowed to have a rough day without it meaning anything about who you are.

Glad you're here,

Dani

Ready to Go to Your Next Level? 💫 Friend, if you're feeling the tug, that stirring inside that says there's MORE for you, I want to talk to you. Whether you're ready to do the deep life transformation work or you feel called to help OTHER people transform their lives, I've got something for you.

🌟 1:1 Life Coaching & Transformation Programs If you're craving more peace, more joy, more purpose, and you're ready to stop just surviving and start THRIVING! Let's connect. Book a free discovery call and let's figure out together if one of my programs is your next right step.

🌟 "Messy Life Transformation Life Coach Certification" --Do you feel called to help people? Are you someone who's been through the hard stuff and now wants to turn that pain into purpose? Getting certified as a life coach through my program is one of the most holy, rich, and powerful things you can do; not just for your clients, but for YOU. It changed my life. And it can change yours.

➡️ Book Your FREE Discovery Call Today ➡️ Visit https://calendly.com/danisumner to schedule your call with Dani.

No magic wand. No magic pill. Just the process, and you don't have to do it alone.

If This Episode Spoke to You… Would you do me a favor and leave a review? It helps so many more people find this community. And share this episode with a friend who needs to hear that they're not where they used to be, and that's WORTH celebrating. 🤍

🌟To learn more about Dani & to join the newsletter list-> https://www.danisumner.com/

🌟 Follow me on YouTube

🤳🏼 ALSO, let's connect on social media: Facebook, Instagram -> Facebook and Instagram

You know the phrase: hurt people hurt people. But this week, Dani’s client Nici flipped it in a way that stopped her in her tracks: hurt people also help people and heal people.

Dani shares why your wounds don’t disqualify you from meaningful work — they often qualify you. She talks about leaving her old career to follow a calling that scared her, but was one of the best decisions she ever made. And why helping others is part of the healing process, and why waiting until you’re “all healed” before showing up is what keeps you stuck.

In this episode, you’ll hear:

Why your scars can make you more qualified, not less

The moment Dani knew she had to leave her career and follow her calling

Why helping others can be healing for you too

What Nici’s “uprooted and replanted” illustration means for your next season

Why you don’t have to be perfect to hire a coach or become one

Glad you're here,

Dani

Ready to Go to Your Next Level? 💫 Friend, if you're feeling the tug, that stirring inside that says there's MORE for you, I want to talk to you. Whether you're ready to do the deep life transformation work or you feel called to help OTHER people transform their lives, I've got something for you.

🌟 1:1 Life Coaching & Transformation Programs If you're craving more peace, more joy, more purpose, and you're ready to stop just surviving and start THRIVING! Let's connect. Book a free discovery call and let's figure out together if one of my programs is your next right step.

🌟 "Messy Life Transformation Life Coach Certification" --Do you feel called to help people? Are you someone who's been through the hard stuff and now wants to turn that pain into purpose? Getting certified as a life coach through my program is one of the most holy, rich, and powerful things you can do; not just for your clients, but for YOU. It changed my life. And it can change yours.

➡️ Book Your FREE Discovery Call Today ➡️ Visit https://calendly.com/danisumner to schedule your call with Dani.

No magic wand. No magic pill. Just the process, and you don't have to do it alone.

If This Episode Spoke to You… Would you do me a favor and leave a review? It helps so many more people find this community. And share this episode with a friend who needs to hear that they're not where they used to be, and that's WORTH celebrating. 🤍

🌟To learn more about Dani & to join the newsletter list-> https://www.danisumner.com/

🌟 Follow me on YouTube

🤳🏼 ALSO, let's connect on social media: Facebook, Instagram -> Facebook and Instagram

"Expectations are premeditated resentments." In this episode, Dani breaks down the difference between high standards and unrealistic expectations, and why that moving finish line is keeping you from celebrating how far you've actually come.

She shares a real conversation with her new project manager, the quote that's stuck with her for 15 years, and why Psalm 139 might be the permission slip you didn't know you needed.

If you've ever hit a goal and immediately moved the goalpost, or if you're harder on yourself than you'd ever be on someone you love, this one's for you.

Ready to Go to Your Next Level? 💫 Friend, if you're feeling the tug, that stirring inside that says there's MORE for you, I want to talk to you. Whether you're ready to do the deep life transformation work or you feel called to help OTHER people transform their lives, I've got something for you.

🌟 1:1 Life Coaching & Transformation Programs If you're craving more peace, more joy, more purpose, and you're ready to stop just surviving and start THRIVING! Let's connect. Book a free discovery call and let's figure out together if one of my programs is your next right step.

🌟 "Messy Life Transformation Life Coach Certification" --Do you feel called to help people? Are you someone who's been through the hard stuff and now wants to turn that pain into purpose? Getting certified as a life coach through my program is one of the most holy, rich, and powerful things you can do; not just for your clients, but for YOU. It changed my life. And it can change yours.

➡️ Book Your FREE Discovery Call Today ➡️ Visit https://calendly.com/danisumner to schedule your call with Dani.

No magic wand. No magic pill. Just the process, and you don't have to do it alone.

If This Episode Spoke to You… Would you do me a favor and leave a review? It helps so many more people find this community. And share this episode with a friend who needs to hear that they're not where they used to be, and that's WORTH celebrating. 🤍

🌟To learn more about Dani & to join the newsletter list-> https://www.danisumner.com/

🌟 Follow me on YouTube

🤳🏼 ALSO, let's connect on social media: Facebook, Instagram -> Facebook and Instagram

Mother's Day is complicated, for almost all of us. In this episode, Dani gets real about what it means to mother yourself when the holiday brings up more grief than gratitude.

She shares a conversation from her massage therapist that stopped her in her tracks, why being alone with yourself is actually the goal, and why what we don't heal, we pass on.

In this episode, Dani talks about why Mother's Day brings up so much for so many of us, what it actually looks like to mother yourself as a grown woman (and why it's not selfish), the one thing her acupuncture therapist said about being alone with yourself that changed her perspective, how to stop running on fumes and start prioritizing yourself without the guilt, and why what we don't heal, we pass on to the people we love most.

If you're navigating complicated feelings this Mother's Day, or any day, this episode will feel like a deep breath and a hug and a kick in the ass all at once.

Glad you're here, Dani

➡️ Book Your FREE Discovery Call Today ➡️ HERE 

🌟 1:1 Life Coaching & Transformation Programs If you're craving more peace, more joy, more purpose, and you're ready to stop just surviving and start THRIVING! Let's connect. Book a free discovery call and let's figure out together if one of my programs is your next right step.

🌟 Messy Life Transformation Life Coach Certification Do you feel called to help people? Are you someone who's been through the hard stuff and now wants to turn that pain into purpose? Getting certified as a life coach through my program is one of the most holy, rich, and powerful things you can do; not just for your clients, but for YOU. It changed my life. And it can change yours.

➡️ Book Your FREE Discovery Call Today ➡️ Visit https://calendly.com/danisumner to schedule your call with Dani No magic wand. No magic pill. Just the process, and you don't have to do it alone.

If This Episode Spoke to You… Would you do me a favor and leave a review? It helps so many more people find this community. And share this episode with a friend who needs to hear that they're not where they used to be, and that's WORTH celebrating. 🤍

🌟To learn more about Dani & to join the newsletter list-> https://www.danisumner.com/

🌟 Follow me on YouTube

🤳🏼 ALSO, let's connect on social media: Facebook, Instagram -> Facebook and Instagram

Stop Watering People Who Never Grew & Start Pouring Into Your Own Roots

Wanting to connect with Dani about Coaching? Schedule your complimentary call HERE.

If you've been feeling exhausted, foggy, or weirdly behind in life, even when you're "doing all the things," this episode is for you.

There’s this sneaky thing I like to call the ‘energy tax’ that so many of us are paying without even realizing it, and it’s draining us! We’re paying for it with the draining people in our life, unhealed wounds we can’t seem to get through, the constant second-guessing ourselves with decisions, and trying to be everything to everyone.

And sometimes the smallest shift in how you show up changes everything and help you stop paying that tax.

You're not behind.

If this episode resonated with you and you're ready for deeper healing, peace, and purpose, Dani offers free discovery calls to explore your next step.

Whether you're looking for personal transformation or feel called to help others through coaching, Dani would love to connect.

👉 Book your free discovery call:  https://calendly.com/danisumner

SONG: I love me, LOUD by China Styles

Episode Summary

Hey friend, welcome back! I'm recording this one fresh off the golf course with my son Zach. Pink sunburn, pink golf shirt, pink hat, the whole vibe. And honestly? I had to hop on and talk to you because something happened on the course today that I can't stop thinking about.

In this episode, I'm getting really real with you about the hidden "energy tax" that so many of us are unknowingly paying. Taxes for toxic people, taxes for unhealed wounds, taxes for second-guessing ourselves, taxes for trying to be everything to everyone. If you've been feeling exhausted, burned out, or stuck in survival mode for reasons you can't quite name, this one is for YOU.

We're talking about how to stop competing with everyone (including who you used to be), how to embrace one degree of change instead of chasing the impossible home run, and what it really looks like to step into the persona of who you were created to be. And friend, sometimes that even starts with something as small as a pink golf shirt.

What We Cover in This Episode

Key Takeaways & Dani’s Mic Drop Moments

"We're not racing anyone. We're really only racing ourselves."

"Your job is just to get one degree better every single day."

"I used to water people who never grew." China Style, I Love Me, LOUD

"Being loved by yourself is one of the hugest accomplishments in life that anyone can ever accomplish."

"Learning to love ourselves is one of the most selfless things we can do, because then we're not acting out of our neediness."

"None of that crap disqualifies you from God's joy, peace, purpose, or contentment."

Scriptures Referenced

 Your Homework This Week 📝

This week, identify ONE energy leak in your life; a relationship, a commitment, a habit, or a thought pattern that's quietly draining you more than it's feeding you.

Then ask yourself: Is this a tax I'm actually called to pay? Or is it time for a boundary?

Write it down. Pray over it. And take ONE small step (one degree!) toward plugging that leak.

Remember, you're not behind. You're just tired of paying for things that were never yours to carry.

Ready to Go to Your Next Level? 💫

Friend, if you’re feeling the tug, that stirring inside that says there’s MORE for you, I want to talk to you. Whether you’re ready to do the deep life transformation work or you feel called to help OTHER people transform their lives, I’ve got something for you.

🌟 1:1 Life Coaching & Transformation Programs

If you’re craving more peace, more joy, more purpose, and you’re ready to stop just surviving and start THRIVING! Let’s connect. Book a free discovery call and let’s figure out together if one of my programs is your next right step.

🌟 Messy Life Transformation Life Coach Certification

Do you feel called to help people? Are you someone who’s been through the hard stuff and now wants to turn that pain into purpose? Getting certified as a life coach through my program is one of the most holy, rich, and powerful things you can do; not just for your clients, but for YOU. It changed my life. And it can change yours.

➡️ Book Your FREE Discovery Call Today ➡️

Visit https://calendly.com/danisumner to schedule your call with Dani

No magic wand. No magic pill. Just the process, and you don’t have to do it alone.

If This Episode Spoke to You…

Would you do me a favor and leave a review? It helps so many more people find this community. And share this episode with a friend who needs to hear that they’re not where they used to be — and that’s WORTH celebrating. 🤍

Glad you’re here,

Dani

🌟To learn more about Dani & to join the newsletter list-> https://www.danisumner.com/

🌟 Follow me on YouTube

🤳🏼 ALSO, let's connect on social media: Facebook, Instagram -> Facebook and Instagram

Healing Your Past & Stepping Into Your Authentic Self

Wanting to connect with Dani about Coaching? Schedule your complimentary call here. 

If you’ve ever felt like you’re still not where you want to be in life, this episode is for you.

Fresh out of a brand photo shoot, Dani shares a powerful reflection about authenticity, healing, and learning to celebrate how far you’ve come. For years she felt like a chameleon—shapeshifting to fit everyone else’s expectations. But healing, faith, and doing the inner work changed everything.

You might not be where you want to be yet…

And that deserves to be celebrated.

If this episode resonated with you and you’re ready for deeper healing, peace, and purpose, Dani offers free discovery calls to explore your next step.

Whether you’re looking for personal transformation or feel called to help others through coaching, Dani would love to connect.

👉 Book your free discovery call

Glad you’re here,

Dani

🌟To learn more about Dani & to join the newsletter list-> https://www.danisumner.com/

🌟 Follow me on YouTube

🤳🏼 ALSO, let's connect on social media: Facebook, Instagram -> Facebook and Instagram

If you’ve been feeling overwhelmed with life, stuck in anxiety, or living in survival mode, this episode will help you slow down and reconnect with peace.

Feeling overwhelmed lately? Like life is coming at you from every direction?

In this episode, Dani shares one simple phrase that has helped her navigate seasons when life feels like too much: Do the next right thing.

When everything feels urgent and your mind starts spinning, it’s easy to believe you need to solve the entire problem immediately. But overwhelm often lifts when we stop trying to control everything and simply take the next small step.

This episode explores why overwhelm makes it harder to think clearly, how small actions can interrupt the spiral, and why learning to focus on the next right thing can bring you back to yourself when life feels heavy.

If you’ve been feeling stretched thin, emotionally exhausted, or stuck in survival mode, this conversation will offer a grounded way to move forward with more peace.

If you’ve been feeling overwhelmed with life, stuck in anxiety, or unsure how to calm your mind when everything feels like too much, this episode will help you slow down and reconnect with yourself.

Learning how to do the next right thing when you're overwhelmed can help move you out of survival mode and back into peace.

👉 Book a free discovery call

Glad you’re here,

Dani

🌟To learn more about Dani & to join the newsletter list-> https://www.danisumner.com/

🌟 Follow me on YouTube

🤳🏼 ALSO, let's connect on social media: Facebook, Instagram -> Facebook and Instagram

How to Stop Living in Survival Mode and Expand Your Capacity for Peace

Why can’t you feel peace, even when you love God and pray for it?

In this episode, Dani talks about anxiety, burnout, and why so many Christian’s in particular feel stuck in survival mode. You’ll learn how your nervous system affects your ability to experience joy, and why peace isn’t just spiritual, it’s physiological.

Using a simple “small frying pan” metaphor, Dani explains how emotional conditioning can shrink your capacity to receive peace, and how to gently expand it.

If you’re emotionally exhausted, over-functioning, or wondering why joy feels hard to access, this conversation will help you:

This is Christian mindset work rooted in scripture, nervous system healing, and practical life coaching.

You don’t have to stay in survival mode. Peace is something you can learn to hold.

If this episode resonated and you’re ready for deeper support in your own healing journey, I offer free discovery calls where we can talk about what’s keeping you stuck and whether coaching is the right next step.

And if you’re listening thinking, “I don’t just want peace, I want to help others find it too,” I also train and certify Life Coaches.

Whether you’re looking for personal transformation or feel called to step into becoming a Life Coach, we can explore that together.

👉 Book your free discovery call here

No pressure. Just clarity.

Glad you’re here,

Dani

🌟To learn more about Dani & to join the newsletter list-> https://www.danisumner.com/

🌟 Follow me on YouTube

🤳🏼 ALSO, let's connect on social media: Facebook, Instagram -> Facebook and Instagram

If you’re over 40 and quietly wondering, “Did I miss my chance?” this episode is for you.

So many people reach midlife feeling stuck between the life they’ve built… and the life they still want. The problem isn’t your age.

It’s the belief that it’s too late.

And that belief will slowly shrink your dreams if you let it.

In this episode:

Your story didn’t disqualify you. It prepared you.

If you’re ready to stop playing small and take one aligned step toward what’s next, book a free discovery call here. Or visit aholymess.com 

You’re not too old.

Dani

🌟To learn more about Dani & to join the newsletter list-> https://www.danisumner.com/

🌟 Follow me on YouTube

🤳🏼 ALSO, let's connect on social media: Facebook, Instagram -> Facebook and Instagram