A HOLY MESS | Purpose, Recovery, Trauma, Life Coaching, Shame, Regret

By Dani Sumner | Christian Life Coach, Spiritual DirectorHealth & Fitness Mental Health Religion & Spirituality Christianity Education Self-Improvement

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A HOLY MESS | Purpose, Recovery, Trauma, Life Coaching, Shame, Regret episodes

February 05216. How to Rest Without Guilt (Even When You’re the One Who Holds Everything Together)
The Problem: You finally sit down to rest, but your brain won't let you. The guilt kicks in. The "shoulds" start screaming. You feel lazy, unproductive, unworthy.
What's Really Happening: This isn't a character flaw, it's conditioning. Your nervous system learned that rest = unworthiness, and now it's stuck in overdrive.
The Solution: You can retrain your brain so rest feels peaceful instead of anxiety-inducing.
In This Episode:
Why rest feels "wrong" (spoiler: it's your wiring, not you)
The dark side of having a strong work ethic
How to check in with your nervous system about rest
A quick practice to identify what's driving your guilt
Why transformation feels awkward before it becomes elegant
Try This:
Imagine taking the rest of today off. Just rest. What comes up? Anxiety? Guilt? That's just data and information for us to learn from, and you can rewire it.
The Goal: Make unworthiness feel awkward and rest feel natural.
This Episode is For You If:
You equate your worth with productivity, struggle to take breaks without guilt, or you're on the verge of burnout.
Ready to rest without the guilt? Book a free discovery call with me!

I'm here for you. I love you. I'm cheering for you,
Dani

🌟To learn more about Dani & to join the newsletter list-> https://www.danisumner.com/
🌟 Follow me on YouTube
🤳🏼 ALSO, let's connect on social media: Facebook, Instagram -> Facebook and Instagram
12 min
January 31215. How to Set Boundaries as a Faith Based People, Without the Guilt
Ever said yes, when you knew wanted to say no?
In this episode, I'm getting a wee bit vulnerable about my own fall back into the rescuer trap with my parents. I thought I had this figured out. I didn't. And in the past this 'always say yes and sacrifice for others,' cost me my health. I literally burned out my adrenals years ago because I couldn't say no.
Here's what we're diving into:
Why boundaries feel impossible at times when you've been taught that sacrifice = love
The rescuer trap and how it shows up in your family, your church, your everyday life
Generational patterns that are stealing your peace
The permission you've been waiting for: Just because you CAN doesn't mean you SHOULD
How over-giving destroys the very people you're trying to help
✨ You get to have limits as a human being. Full stop.
✨ The more you prioritize your own health, the more you'll have to give to others.
✨ Ask yourself: Am I doing this because it's needed, or because I need to be needed?
If you're tired of feeling stuck in cycles of over-giving, resentment, and guilt, you don't have to figure this out alone.
Here's your plan:
→ Ready to further your healing journey, and step into your purpose more deeply? Book a free discovery call and let's map out your next move together.
Glad you're here,
Dani
🌟To learn more about Dani & to join the newsletter list-> https://www.danisumner.com/
🌟 Follow me on YouTube
🤳🏼 ALSO, let's connect on social media: Facebook, Instagram -> Facebook and Instagram
12 min
January 27 214. How to Prioritize Your Needs Without Guilt: Breaking Free from Survival Mode as a Christian Woman
Struggling with guilt when you prioritize self-care? Learn practical ways to move from survival mode to thriving, honoring your God-given needs without apology.
Ready to feel more fulfilled in life?
If you're ever wanted to become a Life Coach, now’s the time to look into what it’s all about!
Book your free discovery call where we'll explore your dreams and see if “Messy Life Transformation Coaching Certification" is a fit for you.
These calls are super chill, just me with my coffee, having a real conversation about your life and where you want to go.
👉 Schedule your free call at here!
If you're drowning in everyone else's needs while yours stay buried, this episode is your permission slip to stop.
I almost talked myself out of beach yoga this morning. The guilt showed up fast, “shouldn't I be working?” But here's what I've learned after years of running on fumes: you can't pour from an empty well, and God didn't design you to survive on exhaust.
In This Episode:
[00:03:15] Why Self-Care Feels Like Rebellion
The guilt Christian women carry when prioritizing their needs, and the theology that actually supports self-stewardship.
[00:08:42] The Frog in Boiling Water
How we adapt to dysfunction without realizing it—and why you don't need different circumstances to start thriving (Isaiah 43:18).
[00:14:20] Practical Self-Prioritization
Time blocking, identifying your actual needs, scheduling white space, and giving yourself permission to figure it out as you go.
[00:22:37] External Processing for Overthinkers
Finding safe spaces to get the noise out—journaling, coaching, therapy, trusted community.
[00:28:15] Your First Responsibility
Why stewarding yourself isn't selfish—it's obedience.
Key Truths:
✨ "Your first responsibility to the Lord is to steward YOU. How can you steward everyone else if you're just a dry well?"
✨ The Sabbath wasn't created for God—it was created for YOU. Rest is holy.
✨ Progress over perfection. Move yourself up one burner at a time.
✨ While you still have breath in your lungs, God is not done with you.
Your 24-Hour Challenge:
Do something radical for yourself. Beach yoga. Breakfast without phones. A walk where you just exist. Whatever you need—lean into it.
Ready to Stop Running on Empty?
If you're tired of survival mode and ready for a safe space to process what's actually going on, let's talk.
Book your free discovery call where we'll explore where you're stuck, whether coaching is right for your season, and how to move forward.
These calls are super chill, just me with my coffee, having a real conversation about your life and where you want to go.
👉 Schedule your free call at AHolyMess.com
Remember: You're not selfish for taking care of yourself. You're being obedient to how God designed you to live. 💙
Cheering for you,
Dani

🌟To learn more about Dani & to join the newsletter list-> https://www.danisumner.com/
🌟 Follow me on YouTube
🤳🏼 ALSO, let's connect on social media: Facebook, Instagram -> Facebook and Instagram
20 min
January 24213. I Felt Like I Was ‘Too Much’ AND ‘Not Enough.’ Until I Learned This Lesson
Hey friend!
Today we're talking about nervous system regulation. If that sounds "woo" to you, I get it. But this is biblical, and science is catching up.
What We're Covering:
When I got sober, I was SO dysregulated. I'd go straight into fight or flight over everything. I had to learn to catch myself and regulate instead of constantly reacting from trauma.
The Messy Life Transformation Coaching Certification: 6 months of YOUR transformation first. Yes, you'll learn to coach others, but it starts with you. We can't pour from an empty well.
Key Truths:
You're not too much AND you're enough (Ephesians 2:10 - you're God's masterpiece)
Taking care of yourself isn't selfish—it's the most selfless thing you can do
The world will dysregulate you over and over. You have to regulate yourself internally
You deserve a seat at the table, not standing in the corner in the dark
This Certification Is For:
People who want to build a coaching business
Bible study leaders who want real transformation (not just head knowledge)
Anyone tired of having all the answers
Those called to help others but don't know where to start
Whatever you've done or whatever's been done to you—God's not done with you. Shame, limiting beliefs, and fear do not get the final say.

📅 Ready for see your next steps? Book your FREE complimentary call here

Peace,
Dani

🌟To learn more about Dani & to join the newsletter list-> https://www.danisumner.com/
🌟 Follow me on YouTube
🤳🏼 ALSO, let's connect on social media: Facebook, Instagram -> Facebook and Instagram
21 min
January 21212. Finding Joy When Life is Both Good and Hard
Ready to explore your purpose more?! Schedule your complimentary call here.

Just got back from Hawaii (boat sickness and all), and here's the thing: Nobody remembers three problems ago. I'm sharing about what it's like when life feels heavy even while good things are happening.
Life keeps moving, and we have to learn to move with it. Holding both the hard and the good at the same time.

In This Episode:
Why you might struggle to dream again after disappointment
How healing happens even when circumstances aren't perfect
The "whack-a-mole" reality of problems (and why that's actually hopeful)
Recognizing what's blocking your ability to feel joy
Being honest about your life without toxic positivity

What You'll Walk Away With:
The truth is, life gets WAY better as you heal, even if your circumstances stay messy.
If dreaming feels impossible, there's healing work to do
Resilience matters more than having it all together.

Ready to step more into your purpose?

Schedule a call with me and let’s connect about what could possibly be next for you.

Book your complimentary call here.
You're not alone in what you're walking through. Keep showing up.
Love,
Dani

🌟To learn more about Dani & to join the newsletter list-> https://www.danisumner.com/
🌟 Follow me on YouTube
🤳🏼 ALSO, let's connect on social media: Facebook, Instagram -> Facebook and Instagram
20 min
January 01211. Holy Shift: Ever Thought About Getting Certified as a Life Coach? (And Why Nici’s All In!)
Hello friends! I'm thrilled to bring you this spontaneous episode - we planned it this morning and hit record this afternoon because when inspiration strikes, you go with it!
I'm joined by the wonderful Nici to discuss my upcoming life coach certification program and what led her to join the inaugural group. If you've been considering life coaching, questioning whether certification is necessary, or want to understand what becoming a transformational coach actually involves - you're in the right place.
Episode Highlights
Why Now? The Vision Behind This Program
My motivation for creating this certification (hint: it's the program I needed when I started)
Three pathways for life coaches: full-time practice, side income, or ministry enhancement
Building a legacy by equipping coaches who'll reach people I never could
What Sets This Program Apart
Personal one-on-one coaching sessions with me across 6 months
Bi-monthly small group calls (90-120 minutes each)
Buddy coaching with recorded sessions that I review and provide feedback on
Ready-to-use laminated frameworks and worksheets for client sessions
A comprehensive experience combining certification, mentorship, transformation, and business development
Nici opens up about her path from emotional exhaustion to self-care through the Feel Better Journey, including:
Why individual attention and mentorship mattered in her choice
Working through concerns about investment and timing
The concept of serving from fullness rather than depletion
How this represents legacy-building for her as well
Program Overview
Timeline: 6 months
Includes:
6 individual coaching sessions with me
Twice-monthly group sessions (90-120 minutes)
Buddy coaching with personalized feedback
Laminated coaching frameworks and materials
Proven client programs available (optional to use)
An intimate, carefully selected cohort community
Ideal For:
Those called to facilitate transformation in others
People wanting to channel their experiences into meaningful work
Anyone seeking professional skills alongside profound personal development
Faith-oriented coaches desiring a comprehensive approach (mind, emotions, spirit, body)
Is This Your Next Step?
Consider these questions:
Do people naturally seek your guidance and you want better tools to serve them?
Are you sensing a call to deeper involvement in people's lives?
Do you want to create a business, generate income, or enhance your service?
Are you prepared to do transformative personal work while learning to facilitate it for others?
If these resonate, let's connect!
Schedule Your Exploratory Call!
I'm personally selecting this founding cohort since they'll help shape the program's future. I'm looking for committed individuals who'll create great group synergy.
Let's have a no-pressure conversation about your situation, aspirations, and whether this certification aligns with your goals.
SCHEDULE YOUR CALL HERE
We'll discuss:
Your background and what draws you to coaching
Which pathway resonates with you
Any concerns or questions on your mind
Your readiness for this 6-month commitment
Program investment and flexible payment plans

Peace,
Dani

🌟To learn more about Dani & to join the newsletter list-> https://www.danisumner.com/
🌟 Follow me on YouTube
🤳🏼 ALSO, let's connect on social media: Facebook, Instagram -> Facebook and Instagram
51 min
December 20, 2025 210. Why Not You? The Question That Changed Everything For Me 🎉
Hi! If you've been feeling that pull toward something more, like maybe God's been whispering about using your story to help others… Oh friend, this one's for you.
I'm officially launching something I've been dreaming about for YEARS: a Life Coach Certification and Training Program—and I want to tell you all about it.
In today's episode, I'm sharing:
Why I'm finally doing this (and how this dream went from "too big for me" to "okay God, I trust You")
What makes a phenomenal life coach (spoiler: it's all about asking really good questions that help people find their own answers)
How life coaching changed MY life first before I ever helped anyone else—these tools transformed my own healing journey
Why your story matters and how it's meant for His glory, not your shame
The "why not you?" question that shifted everything for me (your past doesn't define or limit your purpose)
What makes this certification program different and what we'll cover over 6 months together
Details about the training—one-on-one coaching with me, group sessions, practice coaching with real feedback, my signature tools and frameworks, plus an optional in-person retreat celebration
Why I'm only taking 12 people in this first cohort (I want to pour into your well)
Who this might be for—if you feel made for more, called to help people heal, or curious about stepping into your purpose
This is a gentle, heartfelt episode about:
Not despising small beginnings (God works with your mustard seed of faith)
Stepping into what scares you because He equips you
Using the very things that broke you to help others break free
Trusting that your journey—all of it—has prepared you for this
👉 Book Your FREE Discovery Call
If you're feeling called to help others heal, transform, and step into their purpose—and you're ready to explore if life coach training is your next step—let's connect.
Let's explore together if this is your next step. You don't need it all figured out—just bring your open heart and your curiosity.
Schedule Here!

Holiday Reminder: The holidays can be beautiful AND difficult. Make time for yourself and your soul. Remember what this season is about: Jesus being birthed into our lives and all He wants to birth through YOU.
Prayer Request: Pray that God brings the right people to this training and that I steward this opportunity well!

Peace,
Dani

🌟To learn more about Dani & to join the newsletter list-> https://www.danisumner.com/
🌟 Follow me on YouTube
🤳🏼 ALSO, let's connect on social media: Facebook, Instagram -> Facebook and Instagram
27 min
December 03, 2025209. ⭐ When You Can’t Do It All: How to Stop People-Pleasing and Find Peace with God—and Peace with Yourself
👉 Book a Discovery Call
If you’re ready for your next season to be filled with purpose and to help you get your spark for life back, let’s connect.
You can schedule a complimentary call with me here.
Hi!
If you’ve been feeling pulled in a thousand directions, overwhelmed by expectations, or stuck in the old habit of people-pleasing… oh friend, this one’s for you.
This week, I had to make a really big decision:
Do I fly to a business retreat in sunny Florida that I’ve been looking forward to for six months…
or do I stay home for my son’s state semifinal football game?
Both were good. Both mattered. And honestly? It sent my nervous system into a spiral.
In today’s episode, I’m sharing:
What it’s like to make decisions when you’re overwhelmed
How I calmed my nervous system enough to hear God clearly
Why we cannot make wise choices from anxiety, guilt, or pressure
How people-pleasing used to run my life (and almost broke me)
A simple, biblical way to connect with your intuition and the Holy Spirit
The exact phrase that finally brought me clarity and peace
Why choosing alignment over approval is spiritual maturity
And how to stop doing “all the things” so you can stay human, whole, and grounded

This is a gentle, practical episode about letting go, honoring your limits, and trusting that God guides you when you get quiet enough to listen.
👉 Book a Discovery Call
If you’re entering 2026 knowing something has to change, and you’re craving peace, clarity, and emotional alignment, let’s connect.
You can schedule a complimentary call with me here.
Peace,
Dani
🌟To learn more about Dani & to join the newsletter list-> https://www.danisumner.com/
🌟 Follow me on YouTube
🤳🏼 ALSO, let's connect on social media: Facebook, Instagram -> Facebook and Instagram

Key topics:
Christian women and overwhelm, decision-making with God, Holy Spirit guidance, faith-based nervous system regulation, how to stop people-pleasing, Christian life coaching, emotional burnout, intuition and faith, Christian boundaries, doing less with clarity, spiritual alignment, Christian women’s mental health, overwhelm in motherhood, faith and anxiety, finding peace in busy seasons.
26 min
November 27, 2025 208. Happy Thanksgiving 💛
Happy Thanksgiving!
Glad you're here,
Dani

🌟To learn more about Dani & to join the newsletter list-> https://www.danisumner.com/
🌟 Follow me on YouTube
🤳🏼 ALSO, let's connect on social media: Facebook, Instagram -> Facebook and Instagram
10 min
November 25, 2025207. When Life Still Feels Heavy: How to Find Some Peace While It’s Still ‘Raining’
What if healing isn’t about waiting for the storm to pass… but learning how to find peace while it’s still raining?
While driving down the California coast in a torrential downpour, with full sunshine pouring through the windshield, God gave me a powerful epiphany that changed the way I see healing, peace, and inner resilience.
For years I believed healing meant fixing circumstances, praying away the struggle, or finally getting to an “easier” season. But sometimes the rain doesn’t stop. What can change is our capacity, our perspective, and our ability to hold both suffering and joy at the same time.
This episode is especially for you if you’re tired, overwhelmed, spiritually disconnected, or waiting for life to calm down before you let yourself breathe again.
Scripture:
Hosea 2:15 — “I will make the Valley of Achor a door of hope.”

Joel 2:25 — “I will renew the years the locusts have eaten.”

Song:
“Scars” by I Am They
Quote:
“You can’t change what happened in the past, but you can change how you frame it. We’re offered a range of different lenses: acceptance, forgiveness, and gratitude.”
— Noelle Oxenhandler
If this episode resonated and you’re ready to find peace in the storm, not just after it, I’d love to support you.
📅 Book a Free Discovery Call
Let’s talk about where you’re at and how we can work together to help you find more serenity, purpose, and emotional freedom.
👉 Click here to schedule your discovery call
Glad you’re here,
Dani :)

🌟To learn more about Dani & to join the newsletter list-> https://www.danisumner.com/
🌟 Follow me on YouTube
🤳🏼 ALSO, let's connect on social media: Facebook, Instagram -> Facebook and Instagram
18 min

About A HOLY MESS | Purpose, Recovery, Trauma, Life Coaching, Shame, Regret

From the publisher's feed

Do you ever feel stuck, emotionally drained, or like you’re constantly striving but never “enough”? You’re in the right place!

Welcome to A HOLY MESS Podcast (ranked in the top 1% globally🎉),…