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In this episode, we explore the idea of “shifting your lens” — a powerful metaphor grounded in science that helps parents understand how their interpretation of a situation shapes their emotional response. Drawing on the work of psychologist James Gross and his research on cognitive reappraisal, we break down how the lens you’re wearing (like blame, control, or shame) can fuel conflict and dysregulation, especially in moments of parenting stress.
You’ll learn how to identify the lens you’re in, how to shift your lens to something more helpful (like curiosity or compassion), and how this shift not only supports your own regulation but also helps you model emotional intelligence for your child. Real-life parenting examples, practical tips, and reflection prompts will help you bring this tool into everyday moments even when things get messy.
Read our blog post here:
https://curiousneuron.com/2025/08/03/how-to-shift-your-lens-and-stay-calm-in-parenting-conflicts/
Read a science article:
For Whom and What Does Cognitive Reappraisal Help? A Prospective
Study
Watch it on YouTube:
https://youtu.be/TOURlBqtmIc
Support the show
Learn more with Curious Neuron:
Snapping at your kid? Get this FREE training to learn how to catch your nervous system in overdrive BEFORE you snap!
https://tremendous-hustler-7333.kit.com/84371dc0b2
Read to become a Reflective Parent? Purchase our course below:
https://curiousneuron.com/reflective-parent-club/
Email: [email protected]
By Cindy Hovington, Ph.D.5
215215 ratings
Send us a text
In this episode, we explore the idea of “shifting your lens” — a powerful metaphor grounded in science that helps parents understand how their interpretation of a situation shapes their emotional response. Drawing on the work of psychologist James Gross and his research on cognitive reappraisal, we break down how the lens you’re wearing (like blame, control, or shame) can fuel conflict and dysregulation, especially in moments of parenting stress.
You’ll learn how to identify the lens you’re in, how to shift your lens to something more helpful (like curiosity or compassion), and how this shift not only supports your own regulation but also helps you model emotional intelligence for your child. Real-life parenting examples, practical tips, and reflection prompts will help you bring this tool into everyday moments even when things get messy.
Read our blog post here:
https://curiousneuron.com/2025/08/03/how-to-shift-your-lens-and-stay-calm-in-parenting-conflicts/
Read a science article:
For Whom and What Does Cognitive Reappraisal Help? A Prospective
Study
Watch it on YouTube:
https://youtu.be/TOURlBqtmIc
Support the show
Learn more with Curious Neuron:
Snapping at your kid? Get this FREE training to learn how to catch your nervous system in overdrive BEFORE you snap!
https://tremendous-hustler-7333.kit.com/84371dc0b2
Read to become a Reflective Parent? Purchase our course below:
https://curiousneuron.com/reflective-parent-club/
Email: [email protected]

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