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In this episode, we explore the idea of “shifting your lens” — a powerful metaphor grounded in science that helps parents understand how their interpretation of a situation shapes their emotional response. Drawing on the work of psychologist James Gross and his research on cognitive reappraisal, we break down how the lens you’re wearing (like blame, control, or shame) can fuel conflict and dysregulation, especially in moments of parenting stress.
You’ll learn how to identify the lens you’re in, how to shift your lens to something more helpful (like curiosity or compassion), and how this shift not only supports your own regulation but also helps you model emotional intelligence for your child. Real-life parenting examples, practical tips, and reflection prompts will help you bring this tool into everyday moments even when things get messy.
Read our blog post here:
https://curiousneuron.com/2025/08/03/how-to-shift-your-lens-and-stay-calm-in-parenting-conflicts/
Read a science article:
For Whom and What Does Cognitive Reappraisal Help? A Prospective
Study
Watch it on YouTube:
https://youtu.be/TOURlBqtmIc
Support the show
More ways to become a Reflective Parent with Curious Neuron:
Join our NEW book club for only $9.99!
https://reflectiveparentclub.circle.so/checkout/reflective-parenting-podcast-book-club
Learn about the next books we will be covering:
https://curiousneuron.com/podcast/
Get your FREE emotional awareness training for parents and kids below (comes with a poster, workbook and video):
https://tremendous-hustler-7333.kit.com/84371dc0b2
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=w4iEbFRZ5QQ&t=12s
Grab our course for $99, The Emotionally Aware Parent
https://curiousneuron.com/reflective-parent-club/
Join the next 6-8 week cohort for parents, kids or teens:
https://curiousneuron.com/reflective-parent-club/
Or email me [email protected] to book emotional training sessions for your organization.
By Cindy Hovington, Ph.D.5
215215 ratings
Send us Fan Mail
In this episode, we explore the idea of “shifting your lens” — a powerful metaphor grounded in science that helps parents understand how their interpretation of a situation shapes their emotional response. Drawing on the work of psychologist James Gross and his research on cognitive reappraisal, we break down how the lens you’re wearing (like blame, control, or shame) can fuel conflict and dysregulation, especially in moments of parenting stress.
You’ll learn how to identify the lens you’re in, how to shift your lens to something more helpful (like curiosity or compassion), and how this shift not only supports your own regulation but also helps you model emotional intelligence for your child. Real-life parenting examples, practical tips, and reflection prompts will help you bring this tool into everyday moments even when things get messy.
Read our blog post here:
https://curiousneuron.com/2025/08/03/how-to-shift-your-lens-and-stay-calm-in-parenting-conflicts/
Read a science article:
For Whom and What Does Cognitive Reappraisal Help? A Prospective
Study
Watch it on YouTube:
https://youtu.be/TOURlBqtmIc
Support the show
More ways to become a Reflective Parent with Curious Neuron:
Join our NEW book club for only $9.99!
https://reflectiveparentclub.circle.so/checkout/reflective-parenting-podcast-book-club
Learn about the next books we will be covering:
https://curiousneuron.com/podcast/
Get your FREE emotional awareness training for parents and kids below (comes with a poster, workbook and video):
https://tremendous-hustler-7333.kit.com/84371dc0b2
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=w4iEbFRZ5QQ&t=12s
Grab our course for $99, The Emotionally Aware Parent
https://curiousneuron.com/reflective-parent-club/
Join the next 6-8 week cohort for parents, kids or teens:
https://curiousneuron.com/reflective-parent-club/
Or email me [email protected] to book emotional training sessions for your organization.

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