About Progress

Several years ago I developed a full-blown bad habit with online shopping. I can say that now because I can see how besides the obvious financial consequences, it made me feel ashamed, it wasted time, and it contradicted my personal value of frugality. And I share this personal experience because I want you to know that whatever your "bad habit" is, you are not alone.

Many of us were taught that sheer grit and self-determination can help us overcome these bad habits, but I disagree. When we know better we can do better, and what I want you to know after this episode is WHY you have these bad habits, so that you can work on them in a different, and more effective, way.

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Sometimes when I have something really daunting on my to-do list I find myself caught in the cycle of self-sabotage. If you've ever felt that way you know it's full of blame and shame, and doesn't usually help us accomplish what we need to. Heather is a former social worker, mother, podcaster and coach here to teach us what this behavior is, why it's normal, and what to do about it.

In those moments where you want to put off the hard things, you have to realize that what you're really putting off is you. When we create unreachable standards, when we put on the armor of perfectionism, we start to obsess over things that don't align with who we really are. Instead, we have to get used to the messiness of growth, because it means that things are actually moving and changing around us in ways that are more important than having a false sense of control. When you listen to this conversation you'll see how self-sabotage can actually be your friend, instead of something you fight.'

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There's something that I often see in my young children, that we lose in adulthood, and it's the ability to abandon fear and ego, and to create. In today's interview Brooke Schultz calls creativity the backdoor to personal progress, and I couldn't agree more. Her outlook will inspire you to see the potential to create in your day-to-day life by adding a little intention and fun in to the things you already do.

Brooke is a multi-passionate creative who shares the highs and lows of her creative pursuits. She has several ways to help ignite the creative flame in your own life, and invites you to have the courage to take just five minutes and do the messiest version of your vision. The impact of your creativity goes beyond just yourself, it is worth investing in because you never know what the ripple effect is going to be.

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Is there something that has made you think other people can do that, but not me? This is part of a monthly series to convince you otherwise. These episodes feature real women from this community who are answering the question “How do you…?” about their various passions and pursuits.

Leann is a mom of 4 living with a chronic illness, MS, which she was diagnosed with while her children were very young. She radiates a positive outlook and says, "It is so beautiful to do something good with the bad part of your story." She now runs a charitable kids' triathlon called "Tri 2 Beat MS." She wanted to create something that inspires physical fitness, includes as many youth as possible, and raises money for a good cause. This is her story of how she became a director, how a community came together, and how ultimately she continues to learn from the challenges it presents. A huge bonus is that she wants to mentor more of you in to being charitable race directors, tune in and even reach out if you're interested!

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How long do you think it takes to build a habit? Whenever I ask this question I get a wide range of answers, and I'm here to tell you that those methods that you're referencing, probably don't work for you. And there is a good reason why. So, if you feel like now that we're a few months into the new year and your well-intended habits have started to slip, I'm here to teach you how to make them stick instead.

In this episode you'll get the pared down version of what I teach in my free class, and even some of what I teach in my Sticky Habit Method course. Meg, from Sorta Awesome podcast, and I discuss my own story as a perfectionist who struggled on both ends of the all-or-nothing spectrum, and how I started working towards helpful habits. I'll even explain how to establish a baseline habit, something that you can do on your worst days, so that you at the end you feel equipped to do something with what you've learned.

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I used to teach an entire class on procrastination, because from time to time we are all subject to it's relentless grasp! The goal is not to prevent it entirely, but instead learn how to manage it. I have narrowed it down to one question you can ask yourself when those feelings come up, and you probably haven't considered it before. Procrastination can be sneaky, sometimes we think it's productivity, so I also offer some ways to identify the difference. Give it a try, your answers to these questions may surprise you!

Episode on motivation.

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Toni Collier is a Hope Coach, author of Brave Enough to Be Broken and the founder of Broken Crayons Still Color, an international women’s ministry that helps women process their brokenness and reclaim hope. Her passion is to show women that they can be both broken and beautiful as they work out their healing.

If you have ever felt "broken" then you are not alone. I, too, spent YEARS thinking that I was especially broken—meaning too broken; broken beyond repair to fix. I’ve felt this way with recovering from eating disorders, when honestly there was no “recovering” happening, to major issues within my marriage and parenting, and even to some regular small issues I face like maybe being the world’s worst texter.

Toni's personal story of living a double life of perfectionism to find approval outside of abusive relationships is absolutely inspiring. If you're ready to break free from whatever brokenness is holding you back then this episode is the perfect place to start towards healing.

Episode references: Internal Family Systems, Boundaries For Your Soul, Replenishment Cycle from Tom Paterson

This episode is brought to you by EveryPlate. Get $1.49 per meal by going to everyplate.com/podcast and using code 'progress149' and by Fabric by Gerber Life, apply today in just 10 minutes at meetfabric.com/progress

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I used to think that the only way I could change myself was by being hard on myself. This led to a lot of self-criticism, as I tried to achieve very high expectations, and did not work well for me. I never would have believed that there was any other way, until now. I replaced criticism with compassion and can see how accepting myself led to actual growth.

In this bite-sized episode I'm sharing two very personal examples of some tough things I've dealt with in the past and very recently where I could have had a lot of self-criticism, but instead fought for compassion. When we sink in shame and despair, we do not progress. I want to encourage you to show yourself compassion, and use the other progress principles we've discussed (curiosity and courage!) to open up your path towards deep and lasting change.

Episode from the fall on self-compassion.

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With the benefit of hindsight on my side, I can look back and see a stark contrast between the way I felt after my third child was born, and the way I felt after my fourth child was born. As I'm currently back in that season with my fifth newborn, my reflection allows for the things I want to teach you today: the difference came from whether or not I was feeling like myself. It's a concept that is easier said than done, especially for many women that I hear from, so I've boiled it down to three big ways you can feel like yourself every day.

Do you ever feel like you have a life that you should be happy with, but the day-to-day leaves you drained, impatient, and resentful? After listening to this episode, and implementing the three shifts, you should be able to have more energy for your responsibilities, more presence of mind, and the clear ability to make choices that align with your real values. And if my story doesn't convince you that this is important, then I hope the stories from our community will, because prioritizing yourself IS prioritizing what matters.

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This monthly series features an episode sharing my recent highs and lows, how my habits are going, a Do Something List update, plus what I'm loving lately and my commitments for the upcoming month. I hope this glimpse into my life, my family, my work, and my own self development encourages you in your own journey.

Around here the goal is never perfection, just to keep trying, even if in very simple ways. I think you'll see that with all of the big changes going on for me, taking the smallest of steps has helped to keep me afloat and feeling like myself. As always, I encourage you to get messy, too!

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