The Secret to a Successful Life: Follow Your Passion — Anton always wanted to be an actor, but as a gay Armenian man, he didn't see representation on tv and in films, so it seemed almost impossible. Brianne and Anton dig into Hollywood's new focus on diversity and inclusion, following your dreams, and never giving up. This a great episode to lead you into the New Year's resolutions!

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TRANSCRIPT:

Anton 00:00:00 Most people do not know this about me. And there's a there's a reason for that. Because I think that we will keep secrets because, I don't know, we're embarrassed that there wasn't a resolution or because we find something else that we're passionate about. There's so many different things. You know what I mean? Like, it's it's so funny. M.

Brianne Davis  00:00:30 Welcome to the Secret Life Podcast. Tell me your secret, I'll tell you mine. Sometimes you have to go through the darkness to reach the light. That's what I did. After twelve years of recovery in sex and love addiction, I finally found my soulmate myself. Please join me in my novel, secret Life of a Hollywood sex and love Addict. A four time bestseller on Amazon. It's a brutal, honest, raw, gnarly ride, but hilarious at the same time. Check it out now on Amazon. Welcome to Secret Life Podcast. I'm Bryanne Davis Gantt. Today, I'm pulling back the curtains of all kinds of human secrets. We'll hear about what people are hiding from themselves or others. You know, those deep, dark secrets we probably want to go to our grave with, or those lighter, funnier secrets that are just plain embarrassing, really. The how, what, when, where, and m why of it all. Today, my guest is the amazing Anton. Now, Anton, I have a question for you. Yes, dun dun dun. What is your secret?

Anton 00:01:45 Okay, so, my secret you're going to trip on this.

Brianne Davis  00:01:49 Oh, my God, I can't wait. I'm, like, grinning.

Anton 00:01:53 Um, that I wanted to be an actor.

Brianne Davis  00:01:56 What?

Anton 00:01:57 I know.

Brianne Davis  00:01:58 Wow, that was really loud. Sorry, people. What?

Anton 00:02:01 I know, it's crazy, right? And we wait a second.

Brianne Davis  00:02:05 We've worke together.

Anton 00:02:06 I've done your makeup, like, a ton. I'm a makeup artist, uh, to everyone out there.

Brianne Davis  00:02:11 Everyone. If you need the most amazing eyes, like, eye makeup done, he is the person. But you've never told me. I mean, we've talked about everything.

Anton 00:02:21 Yeah, and it's interesting because it's something that I don't most people, maybe a couple of my friends know this, but most people do not know this about me. And, uh, there's a reason for that. Because I think that we will keep secrets because, I don't know, we're embarrassed that there wasn't a resolution or because we find something else that we're passionate about. There's so many different things. You know what I mean? It's so funny.

Brianne Davis  00:02:54 Okay, but we got to go back to the beginning. When do you want to become an actor? Like, at what age?

Anton 00:03:00 Well, it definitely wasn't when I was a kid or anything like that. I moved to Los Angeles about ten years ago, and I started working more full time as a, uh, makeup artist. And I love doing makeup, and I still do, and I'm very passionate about it. But I started to realize when I first moved to La. That I'm working with a lot of actors, and it's really cool what they're doing. I like that whole scene of working with a crew and working with a team, and I always found that to be really interesting. And there's this family unit involved, and I also always saw my clients not more in the spotlight, in the sense that's what I wanted, but more in the spotlight of, like, everyone wanted to meet their needs. Everyone wants to make sure their needs are met, and everyone else around them is kind of not significant. Catering to it.

Brianne Davis  00:04:03 When you're the actor, you're the most important person.

Anton 00:04:06 Exactly.

Brianne Davis  00:04:07 All this energy is like I was just talking to somebody on set. You're literally getting touched. Twenty four seven.

Anton 00:04:14 Yes, it's true. Everybody needs to do something, and it involves the actor.

Brianne Davis  00:04:21 Yes.

Anton 00:04:22 So I always found that to be really fascinating, but then I never really tried. I mean, I started to do makeup pretty quickly on a freelance basis. I was working at Mac. I was working in retail in Arizona, where I'm from. I left the company after six years, and then I moved here, and I was working for a different brand, a brand called Hourglass.

Brianne Davis  00:04:44 I love ah hourglass.

Anton 00:04:46 Yeah, we've definitely chatted about that. But it was in a retail capacity until I could kind of stabilize my freelance career. And I loved it, and I still love it. So it was never an issue of, am I missing out on something? But at the same time, there was that, what if I tried?

Brianne Davis  00:05:05 Kind of no, wait, you never even tried? Did you even go on audition?

Anton 00:05:08 No. And the reason was because a couple of years, ah, maybe gosh, it might have even been just a year after I moved here, um, I was approached to do an on camera kind of tutorial for a show, obviously as myself, um, teaching. I was doing, like, a smoky eye tutorial on a show. It was actually one of RuPaul's shows. Uh, it was a spin off of RuPaul's Drag Race called RuPaul's Drag You.

Brianne Davis  00:05:38 Okay?

Anton 00:05:39 They would basically take a woman who would like, she feels like she kind of lost her swag, and she lost her way with her style, and she needed that re up, kind of glow up, that now everyone is kind of saying situation. And she would get assigned a drag queen professor, one of the kind of alumni from one of the other shows. And, um, then there were three women on the show who all had their own professor, and they all had to compete. So they would bring in these kind of beauty experts. And I got to come in and do this on camera smokey eye tutorial, which was really fun. And I got to play on my personality and everybody else's personality. And a show like that has a whole lot of personality. Oh, yeah, it was really fun. And I realized very quickly, I'm like, maybe being myself on camera is the real thing, that I'm kind of wanting to do.

Brianne Davis  00:06:37 Okay, but I have a question for you, and I love that I love that you love the whole aspect of the entertainment business and the family, but do you think you first wanted to become an actor for the poshy glam side and not the hard working you're getting your ass handed to you?

Anton 00:06:58 You know what? It's so interesting you say that, because it's probably because, oh, gosh, he's thinking hard, people.

Brianne Davis  00:07:11 She should see his face.

Anton 00:07:13 She could see me. I'm glad no one else can. No, I'm kidding. But, um no, it's so interesting because I think being new to the business and new to the industry ten years ago, mhm very, very easy to see that side of it and to think, well, I can do this too. Why shouldn't I try? Why shouldn't I, um, get that kind of attention? But I was also 25. I was still trying to find my way and figure it out. And then I quickly realized, this is not easy. M this has to be a passion. You can't just wake up and necessarily want to do something like this. And it wasn't that wake for me. I always found it to be kind of like a fascinating, like, oh, well, I have a big personality, so I could learn a script. Like, what's the big deal? But then I quickly realized, I'm like, well, maybe that script is just my own life. Maybe that's maybe it's my life.

Brianne Davis  00:08:06 You don't want to play other people. See, because I became an actor because I didn't want to be myself. I wanted to be somebody else. And I loved putting on other people's clothes and shoes and talking different and becoming a different character.

Anton 00:08:21 Yeah, I love that. I mean, I think that's so cool, like, for you. But I, uh, think that you, as an actor, you're moldable in the sense that you can step into that character and be a blank canvas for that director versus not everyone is that way. And for me, I think it's very much like I'm kind of a big personality in the sense of just who.

Brianne Davis  00:08:46 You take up a lot of space.

Anton 00:08:48 I do take up space, because let.

Brianne Davis  00:08:49 Me tell you people, when he's doing my makeup at 05:00 a.m., my husband is literally like, uh, Anton is here with Rachel. They're so loud. You guys don't need to scream at each other.

Anton 00:09:03 This is like pre baby, too. He's like, Why are you yelling? I can hear you. Literally, like, you're crossing her face. And it's part of who we are. It's just hysterical. But here's the thing, and I think it would have been very tricky to have tried to be an actor and to maybe have done a couple of little of things and then transition back into makeup artistry. It might be tricky in the sense of being taken seriously at that point. So I think it's probably a good thing that it didn't necessarily go that direction.

Brianne Davis  00:09:46 I'm so fascinated. I would have never thought you wanted to be an actor of that. Yeah, I could see why. What we said, like, the family aspect, the creativity, all these people come together in one for short periods of time, and they create this art, and it's the best feeling in the world, mhm, but it cannot sustain you being an actor.

Anton 00:10:10 Yeah, it's such a trip. But there is another reason why I didn't want to try, and this kind of goes deeper into it. Um, so I feel like it's very finding encouragement from friends and family to just go out and do whatever you want is very difficult. So that can be a very difficult part, too. And I have wonderful parents, I have a great family. They're very supportive of what I do. But if I was wanting to leave home and say I wanted to be an actor, I think it would have kind of, maybe been a tricky situation. So unless you really have the guts to do it at a young age, which many do, and many find that success that way, it's tricky to do that, you know what I mean? I also think that, um, there wasn't a whole lot of representation. There still isn't a whole lot of representation. Hollywood has definitely come a long way, but there weren't really any Armenian, I'm gay. And there were just a lot of situations, um, where I didn't see myself on television or in commercials or in ads. Like, I'm not blond haired or blue eyed, and ten years ago, that's all I really saw. Yeah. And I feel like it's interestingly enough now. There's so much more representation where the blond haired, blue eyed actors are having more of a difficulty.

Brianne Davis  00:11:33 Uh, yes, we are.

Anton 00:11:35 And I know you could speak to that. It's so interesting. But, I mean, if there was a gay person on a show, they were playing themselves or they were being pigeonholed or stereotyped, and that was very, very discouraging also, in the sense of like, well, I have something that I'm doing that I love, and thank goodness for that, because there's no place for me. You know what I mean?

Brianne Davis  00:12:02 It's a bummer.

Anton 00:12:03 It is a bummer, and I don't have any regrets in that regard.

Brianne Davis  00:12:09 Are you trying to tell me right now you're not going to do my makeup anymore? You're going to become an actor?

Anton 00:12:14 Well, no, I will always be there for you because you're fantastic and I adore you. But, um, I definitely think that, um, since that one on camera opportunity that I talked about with, um, RuPaul's show, there have been several others. I did a makeover show on TLC, which was this really cool six part series where I was like, the on camera makeup artist. And then I did a Facebook watch show, um, called Beauty School Knockout, which was really fun. And I was like, the makeup judge. Vanessa Lache was the host of the show, and I was kind of like her guest judge. So I've had a lot of those opportunities surface. And the more I've done them, the more I've realized that I love that as much as I love doing makeup. And m a lot of glam people have a hard time doing on camera things. The fact that I can do that and the fact that I'm comfortable with that, um, just shows me even more. So that like doing a show in that sense, where I am like a beauty expert being myself, not playing somebody else, because that's not at all where I want to go. Everything that I've done in this business for the last decade has showed me that that's not what I want. But being myself on an on camera project 100%, I'm still looking for that next great opportunity.

Brianne Davis  00:13:41 Well, I love that because I think we have this idea of what we're supposed to be, or we have this dream, and sometimes, uh, there's not a reality to it. And you don't put yourself doing the work or what it takes. And I love that you found something else that you're actually passionate about, and then you can put that on camera, that you love being on camera together. Because for me, I actually hate being on camera. Like myself being myself.

Anton 00:14:11 It's so funny, isn't it?

Brianne Davis  00:14:13 I hate my voice. I hate the way I look. I will pick myself apart, but when I'm another character, I don't even see me.

Anton 00:14:22 Yeah, it's interesting. Uh, that's why you're so good at what you do. And I love watching you in your element, because it's so fun, because I know you and I know your personality. And then I'll watch something that you do, and you come across completely differently. Which is the job. Yeah, which is actually literally the job. But for me, it's finding myself even more in those kinds of projects. And I think that we're in such a different place with representation, which is so unbelievable. I think the business has a long way to go, but for anyone who's listening, don't be discouraged by that at all if you want to take the chance on something. Because who knows? If I had done a couple of projects and when I first moved here, and maybe they were really successful, and then I slowly started to transition into, I don't know, maybe like a beauty expert reality kind of thing and kind of built a following in that regard. My career might have been in a different place, but at the same time, I don't regret the past at all.

Brianne Davis  00:15:29 Because we are find our way. Exactly. And you can't even I hate when I do that. Like, go back, well, what if I would have taken this worst?

Anton 00:15:41 Because when it comes to doing something like acting, the fear of failure is really, really huge. Anyone who has a passion about anything can have a fear of failure, and that's completely legitimate. But when you're at the top of the totem pole and the camera is on you, it's much, much scarier.

Brianne Davis  00:16:01 Oh, yeah.

Anton 00:16:01 So, um, definitely not wanting to fail.

Brianne Davis  00:16:05 Yeah, that's what it sounds like. Not wanting to fail. Because failing is hard, man. Rejection is hard.

Anton 00:16:12 Absolutely. I auditioned for a reality show recently, which I did not end up, uh, booking. But they went a completely different path.

Brianne Davis  00:16:24 And how did you handle that?

Anton 00:16:25 It was fine, because when I finally saw the show, they had kind of gone a completely different direction. So it was not.

Brianne Davis  00:16:36 For you before you knew who they actually hired. How was the rejection?

Anton 00:16:43 I was devastated, for sure, because I didn't hear back. I didn't really even get like you never hear back. So I was really bummed because it was for a big network, and I was feeling for sure, like, this was that moment. Because, like I said, I've done plenty of this is not like, uh, oh, you know what? I want to be an on camera personality, being a beauty expert. I've done plenty of that. So I have the experience. I just haven't necessarily found the right project. And I felt like when I did that audition, I mean, I put this huge press kit together, all of the work that you do for something like that, and then just nothing.

Brianne Davis  00:17:21 Cricket.

Anton 00:17:22 Cricket. Like, less than crickets. But then when I finally saw the show, I saw a trailer, and I nearly fainted. I saw the ad for the trailer, and I was like, okay, I might peel over and die, because obviously I didn't do it, and it's a project happened. But then when I saw it, I said, okay, it wasn't a makeup artist they were looking for.

Brianne Davis  00:17:45 Got it.

Anton 00:17:46 It had gone a completely different direction. So I did feel a lot better about that, knowing that it wasn't personal because there really wasn't placed for me. But at the same time, it takes away a part of you when you do all of that planning and all of that work, it's exhausting. And it's, uh, not only physically taxing, but it's emotionally taxing.

Brianne Davis  00:18:11 Yeah. And think about that. You're doing that at least two to three times a week, and you put in the work, and you memorize lines, and you go in and you tape yourself, and you get notes, and you do those notes, and you get dressed and all that stuff.

Anton 00:18:27 Yeah. I remember you telling me once about learning, like, ten pages of script in, like, the night before. You ran, like, two lines, and you were like, did you really have to torture me? Are you kidding me? You could have just had me memorize one page. Yeah, it's insane.

Brianne Davis  00:18:51 They do that. They give you ten pages, you work on them, and then you go and they're like, oh, we're just going to read scene one. And you're like, what?

Anton 00:18:58 Really?

Brianne Davis  00:18:59 Do you understand? I have a child. I have a life. I have to get some sleep. I have to look amazing.

Anton 00:19:06 Nobody cares. You have to do it all. You have to do all of it. And that's it's crazy. I don't know how you do it, honestly. And that's where I'm at with this secret, because it's not only just like, um, I couldn't handle it, but more of what I have learned from the business, like being in the business and working with actors. It's just like it's brutal.

Brianne Davis  00:19:30 It's insane. What are some other things other actresses have told you that you can tell me without giving away who they are?

Anton 00:19:40 I think racial appropriation is something that because I work with all different kinds you do. You have all different ladies. And I have had clients definitely tell me, like, at auditions, that, um, the casting directors or whomever the producers wanted them to act a certain way. And it was definitely, like, a racial appropriation. Like, one of my asian clients had a casting director tell her to act more like hello kitty, which is, oh, my god, you're faith right now. She talked about that. Um, she talked about that in interviews, and a lot of people were like, oh, my gosh, what does that even mean?

Brianne Davis  00:20:26 And I'm like, no idea what that means.

Anton 00:20:27 I know exactly what that means, because hello kitty is this Asian stereotype in a lot of ways. She doesn't have a mouth, because the reason for that is that she, quote unquote, speaks from the heart. But as far as I'm concerned, they just didn't want her to have a voice, and they just wanted her to be cute. And this cute little Asian perfect kitty cat is actually not a cat. She's a girl. So it's like, what does that even mean, though, for her? That's so bad.

Brianne Davis  00:20:57 That's the worst direction I've ever heard. And I've had some pretty bad direction.

Anton 00:21:02 It's so bad. You know what I mean? For an African American actress, can you say the line, like, a little bit more like a little bit more urban? Like, oh, so, uh, you want me to sound like you don't mean urban in, like, a fierce, swaggery way? Like, what you're saying is you want me to sound either more feisty. Feisty is not even a bad thing, but basically, maybe say it like you're less educated. Or say it like you're, uh, from the ghetto. That's what you're saying. Versus you could just say, like, oh, say it with a little bit more say it with some more flavor. Say it with some more sass. Like, give me the line with more ferocity. But no, you're telling me to act like I'm from the get. And they wouldn't say that to a white person. They're going to say that to a black actress or actor. The makeup chair is a fierce place. I'm going to tell you, and the things I have heard, it just blows my mind. But, uh, Hollywood has learned a lot over the last ten years, at least that I have been a witness of it. As far as there are certain things that you don't say because guess what? They are offensive.

Brianne Davis  00:22:13 Yeah. Um, what was the benefit of keeping the secret and what was the harm?

Anton 00:22:20 Okay, that's a good one. That's a good one. I think the benefit of keeping the secret allowed me to grow as a makeup artist and allowed me to really let that in, because I love it, I'm good at it. I'm not saying that to be vain. I'm saying that because it's no, I.

Brianne Davis  00:22:35 Already said you were great at it.

Anton 00:22:37 It's true. And I put the work in. Like, I've worked really hard. I mean, by the time we met, I had learned a few things, and I started at the Mat counter, and that was the best education I could have ever gotten, because the most amazing makeup artists were our trainers, and they were constantly teaching us how to, like, let me show you this winged liner. Let me show you this contouring technique we were always learning. So I've come a long way with my education and with my experience. So if I was not trying to if I was trying to do something else at the same time, especially a service that's involved with the business, it would have been really tricky. And I think that I would have lost a lot of credibility, probably, because.

Brianne Davis  00:23:17 There'S something about, uh, when you're not the actor and then you tell everybody you want to be an actor, there's this weird stigma comes up.

Anton 00:23:26 Uh, I've heard that, A, stay away.

Brianne Davis  00:23:28 From him because he's going to ask me for a job or ask, uh, a connection.

Anton 00:23:35 I'm sorry, I keep interrupting you, because I'm like, yeah, I've heard that so much on set where a PA or an assistant will randomly sneak that in there. Yeah, well, my real passion is acting. And I'm like, oh, gosh read the room now. It's not the time or the, uh, place at all. So I think that the benefit is that I've gotten to where I am, and I wouldn't change where I am for the world. And I have a long way to go as far as my growth as an artist, because I think it takes, like, uh, approximately 15 years to become an overnight success.

Brianne Davis  00:24:13 Approximately 20. I'm just a working actor over here.

Anton 00:24:18 It's hard, and the business is brutal and publicists, have personal relationships and actors and managers, and there's so many things working against you. It's not just like, oh, you did a great job, but, uh, they have other makeup artists that they like, too. It's like, well, maybe their agent doesn't like you, maybe their manager doesn't like you. Or maybe their agent is like, they're, uh, friends with a hair and makeup person that they want us. There's so many factors that work.

Brianne Davis  00:24:48 The thing, too, about acting, there's so many factors of you getting a job or not even getting a job. There's so many equations. But my last question for you, if somebody is listening to this and they have a dream or they have something they want to go for, but they don't know if it's right, or if they do know it's right, what would be your advice for them?

Anton 00:25:10 Um, I think that you have to really take some time to understand what it is that you really want, and that can be very difficult when you're young. Because for me, I was seeing, like, oh, maybe this is something that I want to do. Why can't I do this? And then I quickly realized that, okay, there's part of that because there is an on camera aspect, but it has nothing to do with being an actor. So I think it's important to really think about it, make a pros and cons list, do all of that kind of problem solving to really figure it out, what it is you want. And I, uh, think journaling, this sounds so silly, but I also think that it's really important, because when you start writing down reasons if you told me ten years ago okay, well, write me a little essay on why you want to be an actor, I wouldn't have been able to tell you because it wasn't really what I wanted.

Brianne Davis  00:26:13 Right.

Anton 00:26:14 You know what I mean? Yeah. I think it's just so tricky because in the business, there's, like, all these flashing lights and flashing yellows, like you don't really know what you're even doing half the time. But I think it's important, um, to not be discouraged if you feel like you're not represented. I think that's really, really important, because that's something that discouraged me initially. Like, well, I don't see myself in any of these people, so I can't do this. And that worked out to my advantage in the sense that it's not really what I wanted to do. But I could have felt that very same way about being myself on camera. And if I felt that way when I had the opportunity to do that first on camera project RuPaul's show, um, if I had still felt that way, I certainly did, certainly thought, well, are they going to hire me, or are they going to hire some hot white model to pretend to be a makeup artist? I mean, that legitimately went through my head. But when I auditioned and I got the part and auditioned such a dirty word for me, I'm like, I don't do this, I realized I'm like, well, there is a place for me. There is a place for me. I can take up some space and represent myself and not be ashamed of being Armenian or gay or any of these things. Like, I can go out there and be who I am and be authentic to who I am and not apologize for it. So if you feel like you're afraid to get out there and to make a dream happen because of the way you look, because the way you think other people will perceive you, don't.

Brianne Davis  00:27:53 Yeah, just do it. Just go for it.

Anton 00:27:55 Just do it. Because there's a place for everybody. There really is. And it's getting better. It's getting a lot better. And I think that that's something to remember. Don't be afraid to try.

Brianne Davis  00:28:08 Well, thank you for coming on and sharing your secret. I appreciate you.

Anton 00:28:13 It's just, like, really liberating and, like, weird and cool and so bizarre because this really is a secret.

Brianne Davis  00:28:21 I know. That's why I'm doing it. It's to liberate, it's to free, and it's to be your authentic self and to connect with another person.

Anton 00:28:29 I love it so much.

Brianne Davis  00:28:30 Well, thank you.

Anton 00:28:31 Thank you for having me, Brienne. And I really hope that I see you soon.

Brianne Davis  00:28:36 In the flesh.

Anton 00:28:37 In the flesh. Because I just can't deal. I miss you. We need some fierce glam moments to happen.

Brianne Davis  00:28:43 We do?

Anton 00:28:44 Yeah.

Brianne Davis  00:28:44 Well, if you want to be on the show, please email me at [email protected]. Until next time, thanks again for listening to the show. Please subscribe rate share or send me a [email protected]. And if you'd like to check out my book, head over to secretlifenovel.com or amazon, pick up a copy for yourself or someone you love. Thanks again. See you soon.

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