If you ever want a covert narcissist to talk about you, point out something they have done that upset you. See how their language changes. They live a very me-focused life. Until you come to that moment in the conversation where an apology from them should be. Then their script changes, and they become very you-focused. "You made me mad. You hurt my feelings. You told me to help you." As soon as you take their bait and start defending yourself, then the language switches back to their me-focused attitude. "I can't believe you would treat me that way. I am so upset. No one has ever treated me this way before." This flip of the switch is an extremely passive aggressive way to hide the psychological and emotional abuse that you are enduring. It is so subtle that victims often don't even see it.

I am Renee Swanson, and I help people recover from covert narcissistic abuse.

• Are you tired of feeling isolated and alone? 

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Renee Swanson, Certified Coach and Advocate for Victims of Covert Narcissistic Abuse

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