As a physician, you’ve likely spent years learning how to stay calm under pressure in situations of stress and overwhelm.

But sometimes…

the hardest place to stay regulated is not at work.

It’s at home.

Especially in those moments when your child is melting down…

and suddenly you feel yourself getting triggered too.

You raise your voice.

You shut down.

You become harsher than you wanted to be.

And afterward, you replay the moment in your head thinking:

“Why did I react like that?”

“Why couldn’t I stay calm?”

“Am I passing this on to my child?”

Most parents deeply love their children.

And yet, without realizing it, many of us accidentally trigger two of the most painful emotions a child can experience:

Shame.

And loneliness.

Not because we’re bad parents.

But because most of us were never taught what emotional regulation actually looks like.

So when our child screams, hits, cries, ignores us, or spirals emotionally…

our own nervous system gets activated too.

And in those overwhelmed moments, many of us instinctively reach for control, punishment, withdrawal, or emotional distance…

the very things that often made us feel alone as children ourselves.

In this week’s episode, Are You Unknowingly Triggering These Two Toxic Emotions In Your Child?, we unpack how these patterns quietly show up in parenting…

even in loving, intelligent, well-meaning families.

Because emotional regulation is not something children magically arrive knowing how to do.

They learn it through us.

Episode timestamps:

01:06 — The two most painful emotions children can experience

02:33 — Why shame is so damaging to the nervous system

04:15 — How shame creates loneliness and emotional disconnection

05:26 — How these patterns quietly show up in parenting

05:54 — The hidden emotional message behind “time out”

08:14 — Why some parenting techniques “work”… but still cause harm

09:24 — What emotional regulation actually means for children

10:13 — The healthier alternative: co-regulation instead of isolation

11:40 — What to do during tantrums, hitting, yelling, or emotional overwhelm

13:15 — Why lecturing children during meltdowns doesn’t work

14:13 — How to validate feelings without validating harmful behavior

15:22 — Why loneliness is such a powerful punishment to the nervous system

15:45 — What children are actually trying to learn through big emotions

16:47 — Our real job as parents: teaching regulation without shame

17:26 — What happens when children learn to disconnect from their feelings

18:05 — The question every parent should ask themselves

One of the hardest truths I had to face myself was this:

Children don’t only learn from what we say.

They learn from what we do.

And so much of that comes from our nervous systems.

From how we respond when stressed.

From whether emotions feel safe or dangerous.

From whether connection disappears when things get hard.

And the beautiful part is:

when we learn to regulate ourselves differently…

we change what gets passed down.

And if this recent series on triggers has resonated deeply with you,

especially if you’ve noticed how your own overwhelm affects the people you love most …

This is exactly the deeper work we help physicians and high-achieving professionals do inside our new program, Untriggerable.

Because many of the emotional reactions we struggle with today were learned long before adulthood.

And when you learn how to regulate your own nervous system first,

everything changes downstream,

your relationships, your parenting, your peace, and the emotional legacy your children inherit.

If you’d like more information about Untriggerable,

simply reply to this email or reach out to [email protected]

and we’ll send you the details.

Oh—and if you have something you're navigating and would love my take on it...

🗣️ You can submit a question or situation for a future episode right here (totally anonymous!):

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