Most conversations about relationships focus on how to fix things,

how to communicate better, repair conflict, or understand each other more deeply.

All of that is important…

but if we stay only in the past

or only in the problems of the present,

we miss one of the most beautiful parts of being in relationship:

Dreaming together.

This applies to every relationship — not just romantic ones.

Your spouse, your parent, your best friend, your sibling, even a colleague you feel close to.

Relationships aren’t just about surviving or managing life together anymore.

In our modern world, we don’t relate because we need someone.

We relate because we want to build something meaningful together.

And when we never dream together, we slowly lose sight of the future we’re trying to create.

In this week’s episode of Heal Your Relationships, I introduce a new monthly segment I’m calling a RelationTIP, a small but powerful practice you can bring into your relationships right away.

This month’s RelationTIP is simple, heart-opening, and surprisingly connecting:

Dream together -> through vision boarding.

Not as a rigid “goal-setting exercise,”

but as a playful, intuitive way to discover what your heart is craving

and what your loved one’s heart is craving too.

Sometimes, your dreams will surprise you.

Sometimes, the act of dreaming together is the deeper gift —

because it shifts your focus from “fixing the past”

to “building something meaningful for the future.”

And your relationship grows simply from that process.

• 01:14 — Why recording this podcast is the highlight of my week
• 01:47 — What I mean by a “RelationTIP”
• 02:38 — Today’s RelationTIP: Dream together
• 03:14 — Why we have relationships in the modern world
• 05:00 — Vision boarding as a tool for connection
• 08:39 — My recent experience with vision boarding (and what surprised me)
• 12:37 — Allowing yourself to dream in all your relationships

Choose someone you love — your partner, your mom, your best friend — and spend 15 minutes vision boarding together.

No overthinking.

No analyzing.

Just clip whatever speaks to you.

Then look at what you each created.

You might discover something new about each other…

and about yourself.

Your relationship will deepen simply because you dreamed together.

🗣️ Oh—and if you have something you're navigating and would love my take on it... 

👉 You can submit a question or situation for a future episode right here (totally anonymous!):

 Submit your question

P.S. Love the podcast? Reviews help us spread these life-changing tools far and wide. 💛

 If you leave a 5-star review and submit a screenshot here, I’ll send you my Rapid Relationship Repair mini-course—a short but powerful set of tools to reduce conflict and improve connection immediately.

FREE tools:

• Get FREE access to my ‘Conflict Cure’ mini-course, plus weekly relationship tools delivered straight to your inbox —> https://bit.ly/RelationalIQ-Newsletter

• Need more customized support? Apply for a Relationship Breakthrough Call with Dr. Kavetha Sun —> https://go.oncehub.com/BreakthroughCallwithDrKavethaSun

Have you ever noticed how, in certain seasons of life, several people around you seem to struggle in their relationships all at once?

Almost like these things move in waves?

Sometimes these couples are good people with good intentions — people who genuinely care, but simply don’t have the tools or perspectives to navigate conflict or connection.

Those situations are painful, but they’re fixable with the right support.

And other times… when the situation is not “a rough patch.”

It’s a bad relationship.

There are behaviors that make the relationship feel heavy, tense, or unsafe...

And patterns that leave you feeling small, tense, or on edge…

And despite the pain, the fear, and the exhaustion — people stay.

So the real question is:

Why do we stay in relationships that are hurting us? Why do we work so hard to hold onto someone who isn’t good for us? Why does being alone feel scarier than staying?

In this week’s episode of Heal Your Relationships, I break down the three core reasons we stay stuck in toxic or deeply dysfunctional dynamics.

These reasons are not about weakness.

They’re not about failure.

They are about psychology, attachment, and emotional survival.

And once you understand them, you can finally begin to heal your patterns instead of repeating them.

Timestamps:

• 01:35 — A birthday week reflection
• 02:26 — When “good people” struggle in relationships (and why it’s fixable)
• 03:20 — When it’s more than conflict — it’s abuse
• 04:29 — My definition of a toxic relationship
• 05:33 — Why people stay in bad relationships for years
• 06:53 — Reason #1: Anxious attachment
• 11:59 — Reason #2: Trauma bonding
• 15:40 — Reason #3: Fear of abandonment
• 17:57 — How all three lead to low self-esteem
• 19:00 — The stories we tell ourselves to justify staying
• 21:12 — How our programs and events help you heal these patterns

Try one change this week:

If you’re in a relationship that feels painful or stuck, gently ask yourself:

“Which of these three patterns am I living out?”

Not to shame yourself.

Not to force a decision.

But to speak the truth to yourself — the first and most essential step in healing.

This episode is not about telling you to stay or leave.It’s about naming what’s real so you can finally choose your next step from clarity instead of fear.

If this episode gives you even one moment of recognition or self-compassion, it has done its job.

Oh—and if you have something you're navigating and would love my take on it... 

🗣️You can submit a question or situation for a future episode right here (totally anonymous!):

 👉 Submit your question

P.S. Love the podcast? Reviews help us spread these life-changing tools far and wide. 💛

 If you leave a 5-star review and submit a screenshot here, I’ll send you my Rapid Relationship Repair mini-course—a short but powerful set of tools to reduce conflict and improve connection immediately.

FREE tools:

• Get FREE access to my ‘Conflict Cure’ mini-course, plus weekly relationship tools delivered straight to your inbox —> https://bit.ly/RelationalIQ-Newsletter

• Need more customized support? Apply for a Relationship Breakthrough Call with Dr. Kavetha Sun —> https://go.oncehub.com/BreakthroughCallwithDrKavethaSun

Whenever we stand at the edge of a fresh start — a new year, a new season, a birthday, or even a random Monday when we’re just done with our old patterns — we tend to make big promises to ourselves.

We write goals, buy planners, and decide we’re finally going to “be different this time.”

And then, a few weeks later… most of it fizzles.

For years, I believed this happened because of a lack of discipline or structure.

But the truth?

We all have incredible discipline for the things that truly matter to us.

You don’t forget to care about your child.

You don’t forget to check in on someone you love.

You don’t forget the things that feel deeply connected to who you want to be.

So the real question becomes:

How do we bring that same energy — the energy of “this matters” — into the habits we want to change?

That’s what this week’s episode of Heal Your Relationships is all about.

I’ll walk you through a gentle, loving, deeply effective process for changing habits — one that works far better than discipline, grit, or self-reprimand.

It’s based on your values, not willpower.Because when something aligns with your values, it stops feeling like a chore… and starts feeling like a natural extension of who you are becoming.

Timestamps:

• 00:55 — Why Thursdays are my favorite day (connecting with you)
• 01:41 — The January “change energy” and why it fizzles
• 02:31 — We’re disciplined in what genuinely matters
• 04:11 — How values direct our energy and identity
• 05:06 — Real-life examples of values shaping choices
• 08:09 — Using values to take on a new habit
• 11:05 — Building “bridges” between the habits you love and the ones you resist
• 12:59 — A practical writing exercise to transform any habit

Try one change this week:

Instead of forcing discipline, ask:

“What value of mine is this habit connected to?”

Then write 20–30 “bridges” — reasons why this new habit strengthens something you already care deeply about.

You’ll feel the resistance soften.

This episode is an invitation to step off the self-punishment roller coaster and into a more loving, realistic, deeply human way of growing. If it brings you one moment of relief, clarity, or self-kindness, it has done its job.

Oh—and if you have something you're navigating and would love my take on it... 

🗣️ You can submit a question or situation for a future episode right here (totally anonymous!):

👉Submit your question

P.S. Love the podcast? Reviews help us spread these life-changing tools far and wide. 💛

If you leave a 5-star review and submit a screenshot here, I’ll send you my Rapid Relationship Repair mini-course—a short but powerful set of tools to reduce conflict and improve connection immediately.

FREE tools:

• Get FREE access to my ‘Conflict Cure’ mini-course, plus weekly relationship tools delivered straight to your inbox —> https://bit.ly/RelationalIQ-Newsletter

• Need more customized support? Apply for a Relationship Breakthrough Call with Dr. Kavetha Sun —> https://go.oncehub.com/BreakthroughCallwithDrKavethaSun

Some days feel strangely effortless.

You wake up, the weather is on your side, your coffee tastes like a café masterpiece, your coworkers are sunshine, your kid glides through the night routine without a single battle, and your partner even prepares your favorite dinner — a true 100/10 day.

And then there are the other days — the days when every light turns red, every person seems crabby, and everything feels just a little too heavy.

We all have both kinds of days.

Many of them.

For the rest of our lives. 

So I want to offer you something important:

Whatever kind of day you’re having today… you are not alone.

There is nothing “wrong” with you for feeling overwhelmed, tender, or exhausted. In fact, those are often the exact moments when a quiet, painful question shows up in the back of your mind — the one I talk about in this week’s episode.

It's The Unanswerable Question, that quiet question that appears when you’re hurt, disappointed, or let down. 

It’s the question that pokes at an old wound — the one you’ve asked a hundred times, even though no amount of evidence ever seems to answer it.

Timestamps:

• 00:44 — You are not alone: grounding yourself on hard days
•  01:44 — What is the “Unanswerable Question”?
•  03:39 — When this question gets triggered
•  05:14 — How old wounds shape present-day reactions
•  06:42 — Common unanswerable questions we all carry
•  08:42 — Our go-to patterns when the question shows up
•  09:43 — Why no one else can answer this question for you
•  11:07 — How to begin answering it from within

Try one change this week: 

Notice what question shows up in your mind when you feel hurt or forgotten.

Just watching it — without believing it — creates the space you need to respond differently.

This episode is my way of sitting beside you on those hard days, naming that question out loud, and helping you hold it with a little more understanding and compassion. And if this episode brings you one breath of relief or one moment of clarity, it has done its job.

Oh—and if you have something you're navigating and would love my take on it... 

🗣️You can submit a question or situation for a future episode right here (totally anonymous!):

👉Submit your question

P.S. Love the podcast? Reviews help us spread these life-changing tools far and wide.  💛

If you leave a 5-star review and submit a screenshot here, I’ll send you my Rapid Relationship Repair mini-course—a short but powerful set of tools to reduce conflict and improve connection immediately.

FREE tools:

• Get FREE access to my ‘Conflict Cure’ mini-course, plus weekly relationship tools delivered straight to your inbox —> https://bit.ly/RelationalIQ-Newsletter

• Need more customized support? Apply for a Relationship Breakthrough Call with Dr. Kavetha Sun —> https://go.oncehub.com/BreakthroughCallwithDrKavethaSun

Hey friend,

“Do I need therapy or a coach?”

If you’ve asked that, you’ve probably heard the hot takes: Coaching is dangerous. Therapy is stuck in the past.

Here’s my take after living in both worlds: there isn’t a single “right” path. There’s your path.

Different seasons need different tools. The right choice depends on where you are, what you want, and how quickly you need support.

In this week’s episode, I map what each does beautifully, what each tends to miss (especially around the body and nervous system), where they overlap, and three questions to help you decide your next best step.

Timestamps:

• 01:50 — The two worlds I belong to (and how the blend helps clients)
• 03:01 — Why my approach is different
• 04:37 — Therapy in one sentence
• 07:12 — Why there’s no “right vs wrong” here
• 10:59 — What therapy often misses (and why tools on top of old patterns fail under stress)
• 14:21 — What coaching often misses (rigor, equity, and trauma focus)
• 17:59 — Meds can be lifesaving—why they’re a start, not the finish
• 19:30 — 3 questions to choose therapist vs coach (functioning, outcome, speed)

If this episode brings clarity, and if someone in your world is deciding between therapy and coaching, please forward this to them. 💛

Oh—and if you have something you're navigating and would love my take on it... 

🗣️ You can submit a question or situation for a future episode right here (totally anonymous!):

 👉Submit your question

P.S. Love the podcast? Reviews help us spread these life-changing tools far and wide. 

If you leave a 5-star review and submit a screenshot here, I’ll send you my Rapid Relationship Repair mini-course—a short but powerful set of tools to reduce conflict and improve connection immediately.

FREE tools:

• Get FREE access to my ‘Conflict Cure’ mini-course, plus weekly relationship tools delivered straight to your inbox —> https://bit.ly/RelationalIQ-Newsletter

• Need more customized support? Apply for a Relationship Breakthrough Call with Dr. Kavetha Sun —> https://go.oncehub.com/BreakthroughCallwithDrKavethaSun

How do you react when someone cuts you off in traffic?

Or when they roll their eyes at something you said?

Annoyed? Hurt? Withdrawn? Maybe you try to fix it right away?

We all have that one reaction when we feel poked and boom. Your nervous system takes over.

Some of us will fight back.

Some run away.

Some freeze.

And some… try to please.

I call these our “F” types — and once you know yours, it changes everything.

In this week’s episode, we talk about:

• Why triggers hijack your body before your mind catches up
• The 4 F-types (Fight, Flight, Freeze, and Fawn)
• How awareness starts to rewire your reactions for calm and connection.

This episode is one of those that leaves you saying, “Ohhh… that’s why I do that.”

Ready to spot your F-type in real time? 

Timestamps:

02:12 — What is your “F” type, and why it matters

03:51 — What triggers are and how they work

05:38 — Are triggers all about memories? My take

09:11 — First step to relaxing the triggered nervous system

09:48 — The four “F” types, explained

10:07 — F-Type #1: Fight

11:13 — F-Type #2: Flight

14:19 — F-Type #4: Fawn (where it shows up most)

Oh—and if you have something you're navigating and would love my take on it... 

🗣️ You can submit a question or situation for a future episode right here (totally anonymous!):

 👉Submit your question

P.S. Love the podcast? Reviews help us spread these life-changing tools far and wide. 

If you leave a 5-star review and submit a screenshot here, I’ll send you my Rapid Relationship Repair mini-course—a short but powerful set of tools to reduce conflict and improve connection immediately.

FREE tools:

• Get FREE access to my ‘Conflict Cure’ mini-course, plus weekly relationship tools delivered straight to your inbox —> https://bit.ly/RelationalIQ-Newsletter

• Need more customized support? Apply for a Relationship Breakthrough Call with Dr. Kavetha Sun —> https://go.oncehub.com/BreakthroughCallwithDrKavethaSun

If you’ve ever wondered why healing can feel so hard—why it sometimes feels like one step forward and two steps back—you’re not alone.

For a long time, I thought I could heal by reading enough books, journaling more, or simply “being strong.” I believed that if I just worked hard enough on myself, I could finally move on from the past.

But the truth is… you cannot heal alone. None of us can.

Healing is not a straight line—it’s a journey that unfolds in six essential phases.

Each one asks something different of us: courage, surrender, curiosity, community, embodiment, and eventually, reinvention.

And when we begin to see where we are in that journey, everything starts to make sense.

In this week’s episode of Heal Your Relationships, I’m walking you through:

• What each of these six phases looks like
• Why we get “stuck” in certain stages (and how to move through them)
• Why true healing requires community and belonging
• How to make your healing journey a priority—without suffering through it

These six phases changed the way I see my own past, my relationships, and even my purpose—and I hope they’ll do the same for you.

Timestamps:

• 0:00 Why healing feels so hard — and why you can’t do it alone
• 04:44 Phase 1: The emotionally reactive stage (and the moment that sparks change)
• 07:28 Phase 2: Gathering information — why learning is only the beginning
• 09:46 Phase 3: Finding community and belonging — the real key to lasting change
• 14:04 Phase 4: Embodied healing — when your nervous system finally feels safe
• 15:32 Phase 5: Practicing your true self in real life
• 17:19 Phase 6: Reinvention — living as your healed, whole self
• 19:22 Reflection prompts to help you see where you are in your own healing journey

Oh—and if you have something you're navigating and would love my take on it... 

🗣️ You can submit a question or situation for a future episode right here (totally anonymous!):

 👉Submit your question

P.S. Love the podcast? Reviews help us spread these life-changing tools far and wide. 

If you leave a 5-star review and submit a screenshot here, I’ll send you my Rapid Relationship Repair mini-course—a short but powerful set of tools to reduce conflict and improve connection immediately.

FREE tools:

• Get FREE access to my ‘Conflict Cure’ mini-course, plus weekly relationship tools delivered straight to your inbox —> https://bit.ly/RelationalIQ-Newsletter

• Need more customized support? Apply for a Relationship Breakthrough Call with Dr. Kavetha Sun —> https://go.oncehub.com/BreakthroughCallwithDrKavethaSun

So many of us quietly believe that permanent healing isn’t possible — that we’ll always feel “a little bit broken,” or that we’ll have to keep managing the same patterns forever.

But that’s not true.

Healing isn’t meant to be a series of Band-Aids — a few therapy sessions here, a meditation retreat there, a burst of self-care when things get hard. Those things can help… but only for a while.

Real, lasting healing begins when you stop patching symptoms and start addressing what’s underneath — the parts of you that are protecting the wound, the nervous system patterns that keep looping, and the way those inner imbalances show up in your relationships.

In this week’s episode of Your Brain on Trauma, I’m sharing my No More Band-Aids model — a framework I use with my clients to help them access deep, permanent healing.

You’ll learn:

• Why temporary fixes can actually keep you stuck
• The three ingredients that create real, lasting change: mind, body, and love
• How Internal Family Systems, polyvagal theory, and somatic work come together to rewire old trauma loops
• Why healing your inner world is the key to safe, authentic relationships

Timestamps:

• 02:16 “No More Band-Aids”: why quick fixes don’t work
• 06:29 The three ingredients of permanent healing (Mind–Body–Love)
• 07:55 IFS explained: protectors, exiles & Self
• 13:27 Nervous system work: polyvagal & somatic basics
• 16:23 Relationships as a mirror; authentic communication
• 20:46 Putting it together: the path to lasting change

If you’ve been trying to “fix” yourself and wondering why it never lasts, this episode will show you what’s been missing.

Oh—and if you have something you're navigating and would love my take on it... 

🗣️ You can submit a question or situation for a future episode right here (totally anonymous!):

 👉Submit your question

P.S. Love the podcast? Reviews help us spread these life-changing tools far and wide. 

If you leave a 5-star review and submit a screenshot here, I’ll send you my Rapid Relationship Repair mini-course—a short but powerful set of tools to reduce conflict and improve connection immediately.

FREE tools:

• Get FREE access to my ‘Conflict Cure’ mini-course, plus weekly relationship tools delivered straight to your inbox —> https://bit.ly/RelationalIQ-Newsletter

• Need more customized support? Apply for a Relationship Breakthrough Call with Dr. Kavetha Sun —> https://go.oncehub.com/BreakthroughCallwithDrKavethaSun

We often talk about hope as something beautiful — a light that helps us keep going when things are hard.

Yet there’s a moment when hope shifts from fuel to delay, and that same light becomes a flashlight we point away from what needs our attention.

We keep hoping they’ll change. That work will calm down. That time will fix it.

We keep waiting, praying, manifesting…

Days turn into months, and our nervous system learns avoidance disguised as optimism.

That’s when hope stops healing — and starts holding us in place.

The truth is, a lot of times we use hope as a way to avoid responsibility — hoping someone else will change, that things will magically get better, or that time alone will heal.

That’s what I call toxic hope.

And toxic hope is one of the biggest reasons for suffering in this world.

In this week’s episode of Heal Your Relationships, I’m unpacking what happens when hope turns from a force of healing into a form of denial — and how to step into what I call the messy middle:

the real, uncomfortable, deeply human space where true healing begins.

You’ll hear:

• The subtle difference between healthy hope and toxic hope
• How avoidance and fear disguise themselves as faith
• What “the messy middle” actually looks like — and why it’s where transformation really happens
• A personal story from my own family that changed how I see hope forever

If you’ve been waiting for a sign to stop waiting — this is it.

Timestamps:

00:00 Behind the scenes: creation mode and the heart behind this work

03:07 What “toxic hope” really means (and why it keeps us suffering)

04:15 The danger of waiting for someone else to save you

06:12 A personal story: my father’s passing and the lesson of denial

09:05 How toxic hope shows up in everyday life

12:22 A client story about addiction, fear, and postponing the truth

16:03 Toxic hope in relationships — avoiding hard conversations

19:05 You are the answer you’ve been waiting for

Oh—and if you have something you're navigating and would love my take on it... 

You can submit a question or situation for a future episode right here (totally anonymous!):

Submit your question

P.S. Love the podcast? Reviews help us spread these life-changing tools far and wide. 

 If you leave a 5-star review and submit a screenshot here, I’ll send you my Rapid Relationship Repair mini-course—a short but powerful set of tools to reduce conflict and improve connection immediately.

FREE tools:

• Get FREE access to my ‘Conflict Cure’ mini-course, plus weekly relationship tools delivered straight to your inbox —> https://bit.ly/RelationalIQ-Newsletter

• Need more customized support? Apply for a Relationship Breakthrough Call with Dr. Kavetha Sun —> https://go.oncehub.com/BreakthroughCallwithDrKavethaSun

Have you ever left a conversation feeling different—calmer, clearer, braver?

The right words at the right moment can change how we see ourselves and the people we love. This week I’m unpacking six talks that rewired my inner compass and how they became practical lenses for everyday life: seeing myself with more compassion, choosing without fear of the “wrong” choice, meeting hard moments with steadiness, and showing up better in my relationships.

Tune in and borrow the lens you need today.

Here’s a taste of what’s inside:

• A friend’s reframe that turned “too much” energy into a gift
• A perspective shift on being an immigrant: one home or two?
• Seeing a parent with compassion (and what that unlocked)
• A decision-making mantra that ends analysis paralysis
• Wisdom from a 3-year-old about being okay—even when sad
• A tender rule from my mother-in-law: grumpy needs the most loving

Listen in if you want gentle, practical ways to meet your life—with more grace.

Timestamps

00:00 Welcome & setting the scene

01:52 What I’m sharing today: six conversations that changed my life

02:36 #1 — A friend reframes my “too much” energy as a gift

07:34 #2 — Immigrant reframe: not no-man’s-land… two homes

11:43 #3 — My dad, trauma, and learning compassion

15:02 #4 — The decision lens: “You’ll be okay either way”

19:04 #5 — Wisdom from my 3-year-old: “I’m always okay”

22:04 #6 — “When you’re grumpy, you need the most loving”

25:36 What I hope you take from these

26:33 Reviews are podcast gold (how to support)

May these six conversations be the reminder that you’re already more resilient than you think.

Oh—and if you have something you're navigating and would love my take on it... 

 You can submit a question or situation for a future episode right here (totally anonymous!):

 Submit your question

P.S. Love the podcast? Reviews help us spread these life-changing tools far and wide. 

 If you leave a 5-star review and submit a screenshot here, I’ll send you my Rapid Relationship Repair mini-course—a short but powerful set of tools to reduce conflict and improve connection immediately.

FREE tools:

• Get FREE access to my ‘Conflict Cure’ mini-course, plus weekly relationship tools delivered straight to your inbox —> https://bit.ly/RelationalIQ-Newsletter

• Need more customized support? Apply for a Relationship Breakthrough Call with Dr. Kavetha Sun —> https://go.oncehub.com/BreakthroughCallwithDrKavethaSun