We often talk about hope as something beautiful — a light that helps us keep going when things are hard.

Yet there’s a moment when hope shifts from fuel to delay, and that same light becomes a flashlight we point away from what needs our attention.

We keep hoping they’ll change. That work will calm down. That time will fix it.

We keep waiting, praying, manifesting…

Days turn into months, and our nervous system learns avoidance disguised as optimism.

That’s when hope stops healing — and starts holding us in place.

The truth is, a lot of times we use hope as a way to avoid responsibility — hoping someone else will change, that things will magically get better, or that time alone will heal.

That’s what I call toxic hope.

And toxic hope is one of the biggest reasons for suffering in this world.

In this week’s episode of Heal Your Relationships, I’m unpacking what happens when hope turns from a force of healing into a form of denial — and how to step into what I call the messy middle:

the real, uncomfortable, deeply human space where true healing begins.

You’ll hear:

• The subtle difference between healthy hope and toxic hope
• How avoidance and fear disguise themselves as faith
• What “the messy middle” actually looks like — and why it’s where transformation really happens
• A personal story from my own family that changed how I see hope forever

If you’ve been waiting for a sign to stop waiting — this is it.

Timestamps:

00:00 Behind the scenes: creation mode and the heart behind this work

03:07 What “toxic hope” really means (and why it keeps us suffering)

04:15 The danger of waiting for someone else to save you

06:12 A personal story: my father’s passing and the lesson of denial

09:05 How toxic hope shows up in everyday life

12:22 A client story about addiction, fear, and postponing the truth

16:03 Toxic hope in relationships — avoiding hard conversations

19:05 You are the answer you’ve been waiting for

Oh—and if you have something you're navigating and would love my take on it... 

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