Sex For Couples with Heather Shannon

Can women really have the best sex of their lives after 50... or even 60?

In this episode, sex therapist, relationship coach, and tantra educator Maria Merloni shares why many women lose interest in sex, what might actually be causing it, and how one surprising practice transformed her own sex life at age 60.

We discuss desire, orgasm quality, menopause, body confidence, trauma, tantra, and why feeling more connected to your body may be the missing piece for a more fulfilling sex life.

In this episode, you'll learn:

💜 Why women often lose interest in sex as they age

💜 The connection between pleasure, desire, and orgasm quality

💜 Why great sex doesn't have to decline after menopause

💜 How body image affects sexual confidence

💜 The role of tantra in healing and intimacy

💜 The difference between masturbation and self-yoni massage

💜 How presence and body awareness can improve your sex life

Connect with Maria:

Free Yoni Ritual Guide:

https://mariamerloni.com/ritual/

Website:

https://mariamerloni.com

Ready to improve your relationship and sex life?

Take my free quiz:

https://heathershannon.co/quiz

Work with Heather:

https://heathershannon.co

This is a reminder I'm publishing every other week June-August of 2026 and will resume weekly publishing in September! This is a great time to catch up on past episodes.

#SexForCouples #WomenOver50 #Menopause #LowLibido #Tantra #SexTherapy #Relationships #Intimacy #FemaleDesire #SexAfter50

This podcast uses the following third-party services for analysis:

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SUMMER SCHEDULE! I'll be publishing every other week during June, July & August so we can all enjoy our family time and travels. I'll resume weekly publishing September 7th, 2026.

If you’re secretly wondering what your cross-dressing means about you — or terrified what would happen if your partner fully knew — this episode is for you.

Many men who cross-dress struggle with shame, confusion, secrecy, and questions about identity. And hiding it for too long can create much bigger relationship problems than the dressing itself.

In this episode of Sex for Couples, certified sex therapist and intimacy coach Heather Shannon breaks down the psychology of cross-dressing, why it can feel emotionally and sexually powerful, and how couples can navigate it honestly inside a committed relationship.

You’ll learn the difference between cross-dressing, kink, drag, and gender identity — plus why secrecy, shame, and emotional suppression often become part of the cycle.

Heather also explores feminization, sissification, submissive dynamics, internal family systems (IFS), and the emotional relief many people experience when they’re finally allowed to express hidden parts of themselves.

Whether you’re exploring this personally or trying to understand your partner better, this episode offers a compassionate, nuanced perspective without shame or judgment.

In This Episode:

• The difference between cross-dressing and being transgender
• Why cross-dressing can feel emotionally relieving or sexually exciting
• The psychology behind feminization and sissification kinks
• How masculinity pressures contribute to secrecy and shame
• Why many people use cross-dressing as emotional escape or self-expression
• The connection between cross-dressing and submissive dynamics
• How Internal Family Systems (IFS) explains different “parts” of ourselves
• What healthy honesty and integration can look like in long-term relationships
• How secrecy around kinks can damage trust and intimacy
• Questions to ask yourself if you’re exploring gender identity

If this episode helped you better understand yourself, your partner, or your relationship dynamic, follow Sex for Couples for honest conversations about intimacy, desire, emotional connection, and sexual psychology.

Take My Free Relationship & Intimacy Quiz: https://TheBetterBedroom.com

Interested in coaching with Heather? Request a consultation: https://HeatherShannon.co

Disclaimer: This podcast is for educational purposes only and is not a substitute for medical, psychological, or mental health treatment.

This podcast uses the following third-party services for analysis:

Podtrac - https://analytics.podtrac.com/privacy-policy-gdrp

If you still love each other but sex has become rare, tense, or complicated, this episode will help you understand what changed.

In this episode of Sex for Couples, Certified Sex Therapist Heather Shannon talks with Author & Founder Ralph Brewer who wrote The Dead Bedroom Fix and founded of HelpForMen.com. The explore why sex can feel effortless early in a relationship — and then slowly start to feel like work.

They discuss the emotional reality of dead bedrooms, sexless marriage, mismatched libido, attachment styles, long-term monogamy, parenting stress, and why many couples feel confused when love is still there but desire has faded.

You’ll hear why this pattern is so common, why it can feel especially painful for men, and what couples can start paying attention to if they want to rebuild sexual connection without blame or pressure.

🔑 In This Episode

• Why sex often changes after marriage, commitment, and kids

• How dead bedrooms happen even in loving relationships

• Why men often experience low sexual connection as rejection

• How anxious and avoidant attachment patterns affect intimacy

• What self-improvement has to do with rebuilding desire

⏱ Chapters

00:00 – Introduction to Ralph Brewer and His Journey

02:43 – Coping with Infidelity and the Importance of Male Friendships

05:36 – The Impact of Sexual Dynamics in Long-Term Relationships

08:31 – Understanding the Dead Bedroom Phenomenon

11:27 – The Role of Hormones and Aging in Relationships

14:14 – Community Support and Its Importance in Parenting

17:13 – Adjusting Expectations in Long-Term Relationships

21:42 – Navigating Relationship Changes

23:50 – The Impact of Life Stressors on Relationships

25:31 – Reviving the Bedroom: A Focus on Self-Improvement

28:40 – The Importance of Secure Communication

30:32 – Understanding Attachment Styles

34:33 – The Balance of Masculinity and Femininity

40:07 – Exploring Monogamy and Novelty in Relationships

👤 Connect with Ralph Brewer

🌐 Help For Men

https://helpformen.com

❤️ Work with Heather

🌐 Coaching & Resources

https://HeatherShannon.co

🔥 Take the Free Quiz: Why You’re Stuck In A Sex Rut

https://TheBetterBedroom.com

This podcast uses the following third-party services for analysis:

Podtrac - https://analytics.podtrac.com/privacy-policy-gdrp

Sometimes your body changes — weight gain, new wrinkles, giving birth, surgery, balding, etc. And when that happens, it can deeply affect the way you experience desire, sexual confidence, intimacy, and your whole identity as a sexual being.

In this episode, Heather explores the grief of bodily change, the unrealistic expectations many people have about sexuality staying the same forever, and the ways self-monitoring and body image struggles can create barriers to intimacy and pleasure.

You’ll also hear practical mindset shifts and emotional tools to help you reconnect with feeling sexy, desirable, embodied, and alive in the body you have now.

Topics include:

• Sexual identity and changing bodies

• Aging, perimenopause, and body image

• Erection changes and vaginal dryness

• Chronic pain, surgery, and disability

• Feeling disconnected from your body sexually

• Why self-monitoring kills pleasure

• Cultural beauty standards and desirability

• Botox, cosmetic procedures, and body optimization culture

• Reclaiming confidence and sexuality

• How thoughts shape sexual confidence and desire

Resources & Links:

Heather’s Amazon Storefront:

https://www.amazon.com/shop/heathershannonlcpc

Take The Why You’re Stuck In A Sex Rut Quiz:

https://TheBetterBedroom.com

Request an Unlock Your Passion Call with Heather:

https://calendly.com/hshann1/ignite

Prior Episode – Confidence From The Outside In with Kimmy Seltzer:

https://pod.fo/e/16fa44

If this episode resonated with you, please leave a review, share it with someone who may need it, and follow the show for more conversations about sex, intimacy, relationships, and emotional connection.

This podcast uses the following third-party services for analysis:

Podtrac - https://analytics.podtrac.com/privacy-policy-gdrp

If sex has started feeling like one more thing you're supposed to do in your relationship . . . this episode is for you.

Maybe you still love your partner… but sex feels heavy, pressured, awkward, or emotionally draining. You want to want it — but instead you find yourself avoiding initiation, feeling disconnected, or wondering why intimacy feels so different than it used to.

In this episode, Heather talks with sex and intimacy coach Xanet Pailet about the emotional patterns that quietly turn passionate relationships into roommate dynamics — including resentment, emotional disconnection, unresolved conflict, and feeling emotionally unsafe with your partner.

They also discuss:

• Why couples stop wanting sex over time
• The emotional roots of sexless marriages
• Why unresolved resentment kills intimacy
• How emotional safety impacts desire
• Why many couples feel lonely even when they “never fight”
• The hidden patterns underneath low desire
• Why sex can start feeling like another chore
• How couples rebuild emotional and sexual connection

Xanet also shares her personal story of surviving a 26-year sexless marriage, healing sexual shame and vaginismus, and eventually becoming a sex and intimacy coach helping couples reconnect emotionally and physically.

If you’ve been feeling emotionally disconnected, stuck in resentment, or struggling to understand why attraction has faded in your relationship, this conversation will help you understand what’s really happening underneath the surface.

🎧 Listen now to understand why sex changes in long-term relationships — and what actually helps couples feel close again.

This podcast uses the following third-party services for analysis:

Podtrac - https://analytics.podtrac.com/privacy-policy-gdrp

Struggling with mismatched libidos in your relationship? You’re not alone—and the real problem isn’t what you think.

In this episode, I’m joined by relationship and intimacy coach Monica Tanner to unpack the hidden dynamics behind desire discrepancy. We dive into why couples get stuck in cycles of pressure and rejection, how small disappointments turn into long-term resentment, and what both partners may be doing (without realizing it) to keep the pattern going.

If you’ve ever felt like:

• Your partner “should” want sex more
• You’re constantly navigating pressure or rejection
• Emotional connection isn’t translating into a better sex life

…this episode will help you understand why—and what to do differently.

What You’ll Learn:

• Why desire discrepancy is really a relationship dynamic (not just a libido issue)
• How “building a case” against your partner destroys intimacy
• The hidden ways higher desire partners create pressure
• Why emotional intimacy alone doesn’t fix sex
• How to expand your definition of sex and reduce pressure
• The role of childhood conditioning in your sex life

Guest Resources Mentioned:

• Monica Tanner’s book: Bad Marriage Advice
• Monica Tanner's website: https://www.monicatanner.com/

❤️ Ready to improve your sex life?

Take my free quiz to discover what’s really blocking intimacy in your relationship:

👉 https://TheBetterBedroom.com

Or, if you’re ready for personalized support, book a free consultation:

👉 https://HeatherShannon.co

This podcast uses the following third-party services for analysis:

Podtrac - https://analytics.podtrac.com/privacy-policy-gdrp

Thinking about opening your relationship—but already feeling tension, anxiety, or uncertainty?

You’re not alone.

For many couples, conversations about non-monogamy or open relationships quickly become overwhelming. One partner may feel excited and ready to explore, while the other feels hesitant, worried, or emotionally unsafe.

In this episode, I break down why that happens—and how to approach non-monogamy in a way that actually supports your relationship instead of destabilizing it.

Because the truth is:

👉 Non-monogamy isn’t the problem.

👉 The issue is how couples navigate it—especially when emotional safety isn’t fully established.

🔑 What You’ll Learn

• Why non-monogamy often feels unsafe early on (even when both people are open to it)
• The #1 mistake couples make: moving too fast—in conversations or actions
• How non-monogamy can quietly become one-sided (and lead to resentment)
• Why staying surface-level in communication creates more insecurity
• What it actually takes to build emotional safety in open relationships
• Why even doing everything “right” won’t make the process perfect—and what to expect instead

❤️ Who This Episode Is For

This episode is especially helpful if:

• You’re just starting to discuss non-monogamy
• One of you is excited—and the other is unsure
• You’ve tried opening things up and it didn’t go well
• You want to explore ethically without damaging trust
• You’re navigating differences in sexual desire, curiosity, or identity

🧭 Free Resource

Want help figuring out what non-monogamy could actually look like for you?

Download my Quick Start Guide to Non-Monogamy Options—a practical overview of different relationship structures and ways to explore safely:

👉 https://heather-shannon.mykajabi.com/offers/ELDCt5tG

💬 Work With Me

If you want support navigating this with your partner—especially if things feel tense, confusing, or emotionally loaded—I can help.

I specialize in helping couples work through: navigating non-monogamy, kink differences, and mismatched libidos.

👉 Book a consultation here:

https://HeatherShannon.co

🔗 Keywords

non-monogamy, ethical non-monogamy, open relationships, how to open a relationship, non-monogamous relationship advice, relationship communication, emotional safety in relationships, polyamory, swinging, sexual compatibility, couples therapy, intimacy coaching

This podcast uses the following third-party services for analysis:

Podtrac - https://analytics.podtrac.com/privacy-policy-gdrp

Non-monogamy is usually seen as something that destroys relationships.

But what if, in some cases, it can actually save them?

In this episode, I’m talking with a non-monogamy expert about a perspective that challenges everything most couples have been taught about love, sex, and commitment.

We explore how Ethical Non-Monogamy (ENM) and Consensual Non-Monogamy (CNM) can sometimes be a more honest and sustainable way to navigate real relationship challenges—especially when it comes to mismatched libidos, unmet needs, and resentment.

This isn’t about telling you to open your relationship.

It’s about helping you think more clearly about:

• What you actually need
• What your partner can realistically provide
• And what options exist beyond the default model of monogamy

We also get into:

• Why expecting one person to meet all your needs can create pressure and disconnection
• How resentment builds when sexual needs go unmet
• The difference between choosing monogamy vs defaulting into it
• How people navigate open relationships, polyamory, and other forms of non-monogamy
• The role of honesty, communication, and emotional security in polyamorous relationships
• Why some couples explore swinging, swingers communities, or other forms of shared sexual experiences
• The emotional realities (not just the fantasy) of ethical non-monogamy

We also talk about the different roles partners can play—and why one person often can’t be everything for you over time.

Whether you’re firmly monogamous, curious about ENM, or somewhere in between, this episode will give you a new lens on relationships, desire, and what it actually means to get your needs met.

🔗 Links & Resources

Take the quiz: Discover what’s really causing your intimacy issues

👉 https://TheBetterBedroom.com

Request a consultation for Heather's Pathway To Passion Coaching Program

👉 https://calendly.com/hshann1/ignite

Learn more about our guest Cidney Green and buy her new book All 3 Of Me

👉 https://www.all3inme.com/

This podcast uses the following third-party services for analysis:

Podtrac - https://analytics.podtrac.com/privacy-policy-gdrp

Thinking about sharing a sexual fantasy—but worried your partner will see you differently? This is where most couples unknowingly start creating distance instead of deeper intimacy.

In this episode, we break down the 3 biggest mistakes couples make when sharing sexual fantasies—and why these patterns often lead to pressure, resentment, or emotional disconnection instead of closeness.

If you’ve ever struggled with how to talk about sex, navigate kinks or fantasies, or handle differences in desire, this episode will give you a clear framework for doing it in a way that builds trust, emotional safety, and a more satisfying sex life

What You’ll LearnHow shame around sexual fantasies creates distance in relationships

Why avoiding conversations about sex limits intimacy and connection

The hidden risk of pushing a fantasy too quickly after sharing it

How pressure and urgency can lead to coercion (even unintentionally)

Why your partner’s reaction is shaped by conditioning—not you

The truth about being “sex-positive” without abandoning your boundaries

How to handle mismatched sexual interests in a healthy way

• Ways to explore fantasies without being 100% sexually compatible

Key Takeaways

• Open communication about sex is essential for long-term intimacy
• Fantasies require consent, pacing, and emotional safety
• Shame, pressure, and people-pleasing are the biggest intimacy killers
• You can accept your partner’s desires without participating in everything
• Great sex lives aren’t about perfect compatibility—they’re about how you navigate differences together

Chapters

0:00 Introduction to the topic of sharing sexual fantasies and the common issues couples face.1:05 Introduction to the three biggest mistakes couples make.2:02 Mistake #13:23 Importance of openness and being sex-positive.4:19 Benefits of discussing sex more frequently.5:16 Normalizing conversations about sex.6:34 Importance of consent and communication in sexual relationships.7:31 Variety and novelty in long-term relationships.8:28 Understanding each other fully through sharing fantasies.9:27 Mistake #212:04 Mistake #316:03 Encouragement to maintain personal boundaries.21:32 Exploring fantasies in a healthy way.22:52 Conclusion and encouragement to seek help if needed.Resources & Next Steps

If you’re noticing patterns like holding back, pushing too fast, or going along with things that don’t feel right, that’s exactly what I help couples work through.

👉 Take the quiz to discover your relationship pattern and what’s really driving your sexual disconnect:

https://TheBetterBedroom.com

👉 Want personalized support? Apply for a free consultation for my Pathway to Passion coaching program:

https://HeatherShannon.co

This podcast uses the following third-party services for analysis:

Podtrac - https://analytics.podtrac.com/privacy-policy-gdrp

You want sex. You care about your relationship. But when things actually start to happen… something shifts. You get in your head. You feel anxious, disconnected, or unsure of yourself.

And sometimes, you walk away wondering why it didn’t feel as good as you hoped—or even feeling shame or guilt.

In this episode, I’m joined by sex therapist and Certified IFS Therapist, Patricia Rich, to unpack what’s really going on beneath that experience.

Because it’s not just about libido.

And it’s not something you can fix by trying harder or “being more confident.”

We’re diving into how different “parts” of you can take over during sex—pulling you out of the moment, creating tension, and leaving you feeling disconnected from your own desire.

Once you understand this, everything starts to make a lot more sense.

💡 What You’ll Learn

• Why anxiety shows up during sex (even when you genuinely want it)
• How “parts” of you can override your desire and create inner conflict
• The difference between being present vs. going on autopilot during sex
• Why you might feel regret or disconnection afterward
• A simple way to start reconnecting with yourself in the moment

Chapters

00:00 Introduction to IFS and Sex Therapy

02:45 Understanding Internal Family Systems (IFS)

05:34 Exploring Parts in Sexuality

08:27 Vulnerability and Intimacy in Relationships

11:22 Self-Led Sexuality and Awareness

14:12 Curiosity and Differentiating Parts

17:05 Practical Application of IFS in Sexuality

23:21 Exploring Vulnerability and Playfulness

25:41 Navigating Safety and Judgment in Relationships

28:07 Understanding Parts and Their Needs

32:13 The Complexity of Human Emotions

36:28 Communication and Vulnerability in Relationships

41:06 The Goldilocks Approach to Therapy

44:58 Training and Resources for IFS in Sexuality

👩‍⚕️ About the Guest

Patricia Rich is a sex therapist and certified Internal Family Systems (IFS) therapist and consultant. She specializes in helping people understand their inner world so they can experience more connection, clarity, and ease in their relationships and sex lives.

🔗 Learn more about Patricia’s work:

https://patriciarich.com (update if needed based on exact link you prefer)

Want Help Applying This?

If this episode resonated with you, there are a couple ways to go deeper:

🔥 Take the Free Quiz

Find out what’s actually keeping you stuck:

👉 https://TheBetterBedroom.com

💫 Work With Me

If you’re ready for personalized support, my Pathway to Passion coaching program helps you reconnect with your desire, improve communication, and create a sex life that actually feels good again.

👉 https://HeatherShannon.co

🎧 Loved This Episode?

Make sure you’re following the show so you don’t miss future episodes on emotional intimacy, desire, and building a better sex life in your relationship.

This podcast uses the following third-party services for analysis:

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