Sex For Couples with Heather Shannon

Curious about coaching with Heather? Request your free consultation call now: https://calendly.com/hshann1/ignite

ABOUT THIS EPISODE

Could reading smut help turbocharge your sex life? Certified sex therapist Heather Shannon welcomes Allison Whaley, founder of Bothered Stories, to explore how written erotica can spark desire, fuel sexual creativity, and help you discover what turns you on. They discuss how sexy stories offer a low-pressure way to reconnect with your erotic side—whether you’re struggling to get in the mood, feeling disconnected from your body, or craving something beyond your usual bedroom routine.

Heather and Allison also explore how couples can use erotica to start conversations about fantasies without making either partner feel criticized or put on the spot. From understanding female desire to finding inspiration for dirty talk, this conversation highlights what makes a story sexy—and how those same ingredients can translate into real-life intimacy. You’ll also hear why enjoying a fantasy doesn’t necessarily mean you want to act it out, and how getting curious about what appeals to you can reveal desires worth sharing.

In this episode, we cover:

• How reading erotica can help you explore arousal at your own pace, without pressure to have sex.

• Sharing a scene with your partner as an easier starting point for talking about turn-ons and fantasies.

• What men can learn from stories that center female pleasure, anticipation, and emotional connection.

• Why monster and alien romance appeal to some readers—and how fantasy can offer distance from body-image concerns.

• Using smut as inspiration for dirty talk, power play, and exploring unfamiliar kinks.

• How consent and check-ins can become part of the chemistry instead of interrupting it.

• What an attraction to dark romance might reveal about wanting attention, devotion, or feeling deeply desired.

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Curious About Working With Heather As Your Coach? Click Below To Request Your Free Consultation For The Pathway To Passion Program: https://calendly.com/hshann1/ignite

What actually turns women on? The answer might surprise you—and it often starts long before you get to the bedroom. In this solo episode of Sex for Couples, certified sex therapist Heather Shannon explores three major turn-ons for women: emotional intelligence, feeling wanted, and consideration. Through real-life examples, she explains how everyday interactions can build emotional connection and help create the conditions for sexual desire.

From staying present during a conversation to expressing attraction in ways your partner can receive, Heather shares practical ways to strengthen intimacy. She also explores how resentment, an unequal mental load, and struggles with body image can get in the way of desire. This isn’t a checklist that guarantees more sex: it’s an invitation to understand your partner and show up with the care, confidence, and thoughtfulness that make connection more appealing.

• Why seeing a partner being a patient, caring parent can spark sexual attraction.
• How listening, empathy, and managing your emotions help your partner feel safe and relaxed.
• The difference between kindness with healthy boundaries and being the “nice guy” who has none.
• How flirting, compliments, thoughtful gestures, and expressing attraction can help your partner feel wanted.
• Why body-image struggles can make it difficult to take in a partner’s affection and desire.
• How sharing the mental load—and anticipating needs without being asked—can help your partner feel considered.
• Why treating kindness or household responsibilities as a transaction for sex can undermine attraction.

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Stuck in a sex rut? Take my free quiz: https://TheBetterBedroom.com

Have you noticed that as you get older, what used to turn you on just isn't working anymore? In this episode of Sex for Couples, certified sex therapist Heather Shannon welcomes Suzanne Noble, host of Sex Advice for Seniors, for a candid conversation about sex after 50. Together, they explore changing desire, menopause, erection concerns, and the belief that your sex life has an expiration date.

Suzanne shares her experiences with intimacy in later life, from navigating physical changes to building anticipation and getting creative with pleasure. We discuss why adapting your approach can help you feel more confident and less pressured, how to ask for what you need, and what getting older has taught Suzanne about her body and relationships. Expect practical ideas, honest stories, and plenty of humor.

In this episode, we get into:

• Myths about aging, sexual desire, and when people supposedly stop wanting sex

• Suzanne's experiences with vaginal estrogen and testosterone, and advocating for care

• Changing arousal patterns and why anticipation, touch, and scheduling can help

• Erection concerns, performance anxiety, and pleasure beyond penetration

• Adapting to mobility challenges with positioning, pillows, and creativity

• Body confidence, communication, and giving yourself permission to take your time

• Dating younger men and how Suzanne's relationship priorities have changed

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Curious About Working With Heather As Your Coach? Click Below To Request Your Free Consultation For The Pathway To Passion Program: https://calendly.com/hshann1/ignite

Connect with Suzanne:

Website and podcast: https://www.sexadviceforseniors.com

Social accounts and resources: https://linktr.ee/sexadviceforseniors

Get 50% off Beducated where you can learn the skill of great sex! Use promo code HEATHER for your discount: https://beducate.me/heather

Want expert help figuring out what’s getting in the way of your sex life? Sign up for a Quickie Assessment with me for personalized guidance and a clearer direction forward: https://heather-shannon.mykajabi.com/offers/pZLVQLgG/checkout

ABOUT THIS EPISODE

Feeling sexually frustrated or rejected in your relationship? In this solo episode of Sex for Couples, I’m breaking down three common mistakes I see men make when their female partners have less desire—and how those approaches can accidentally make connection harder. We explore why physical and emotional safety matter for female desire, how mental load and resentment can affect intimacy, and what it looks like to help your partner feel understood and supported.

Your sexual needs matter, too. I share how to express them without turning sex into a negotiation, obligation, or another item on your partner’s to-do list. We also explore how repeated rejection can create a scarcity mindset, why low libido often has several overlapping causes, and how to move toward more confidence, curiosity, flirting, and fun. The goal is a sexual connection you both genuinely want.

In this episode:

• Why emotional safety extends beyond physical boundaries to feeling heard, respected, and free from sexual pressure.
• How unequal mental load, decision fatigue, and a “project manager” dynamic can get in the way of desire.
• Practical ways to take initiative and share responsibility without making your partner assign every task.
• Why bargaining for sexual contact can create obligation and negative associations with sex.
• How to communicate your sexual needs and feelings while staying curious about your partner’s experience.
• What a sexual scarcity mindset looks like—and how to start rebuilding confidence when you’ve felt unwanted.
• How stress, health, hormones, relationship dynamics, and daily routines can overlap to affect libido.

Wondering what’s keeping you stuck? Take my free quiz, Why You’re Stuck In A Sex Rut: https://TheBetterBedroom.com

Want personalized support? Request a consultation for coaching with me at https://HeatherShannon.co

Stuck in a sex rut? Take my free quiz to discover what could be keeping you stuck—and where to start: https://TheBetterBedroom.com

What do you do when your partner comes out as asexual and you have a high sex drive? How do you get in the mood when life feels like an endless to-do list? In this listener Q&A episode of Sex for Couples, I’m answering your questions as an AASECT Certified Sex Therapist. We explore mismatched desire, different ways to experience intimacy, and how to stay curious about your options when your sex life takes an unexpected turn.

I also discuss how hormonal changes throughout the menstrual cycle, pregnancy, breastfeeding, and perimenopause can influence libido—and why hormones aren’t the whole picture. Plus, I share my advice for building a satisfying relationship from the beginning, including talking openly about sex, maintaining your individuality, and bringing more playfulness into your connection. Whether you’re navigating a desire discrepancy or simply feeling too busy for intimacy, this episode offers starting points for less pressure and more connection.

In this episode, we cover:

• Navigating a relationship with an asexual partner, including conversations about boundaries, sexual needs, and shared intimacy.
• Why persistent, painful arousal deserves medical attention—and exploring the emotional needs that can accompany a desire for sex.
• Making room for intimacy when you’re overwhelmed, with mental foreplay, responsive desire, and small moments of connection.
• How menstrual cycles and life stages such as breastfeeding and perimenopause can affect sexual desire.
• Talking about sexual preferences and giving feedback in a positive, playful way—including trying a “kissing lab.”
• Keeping curiosity and attraction alive through individuality, novelty, emotional honesty, and a shared willingness to grow.

Want personalized support with your sex life or relationship? Reach out to explore coaching with me at https://HeatherShannon.co

Want your partner to take charge in bed, but struggle to actually let go? Or curious about being dominant without feeling like you’re playing a character? In this episode of Sex For Couples, AASECT Certified Sex Therapist Heather Shannon welcomes professional dominatrix and erotic leadership expert Kimi Inch to explore conscious kink, dominance and submission, and building sexual confidence through connection.

Heather and Kimi unpack why trust, self-worth, and relationship patterns can get in the way of surrender—and how to explore BDSM with more curiosity and less pressure to perform. Through real examples from her work with couples, Kimi shares how to develop an authentic dominant style, communicate sexual fantasies and boundaries, and use a verbal rehearsal to discover what excites you both before trying it in the bedroom.

Key takeaways:

• Why being in charge all day doesn’t automatically make surrender easy in bed.
• How trust, self-worth, and unresolved relationship dynamics can affect dominance and submission.
• What subspace and Dom space can feel like—and why both partners need to let go in different ways.
• How erotic leadership uses presence, responsiveness, and creativity to build connection.
• How to use a kink checklist to discuss desires, boundaries, and sexual compatibility.
• Why talking through a fantasy before acting it out can build anticipation and clarify what feels good.
• How short play sessions, check-ins, and permission to make mistakes can take the pressure off exploring kink.

Connect with Heather:

• Take the free “Why You’re Stuck in a Sex Rut” quiz
• Visit Heather’s website and explore intimacy coaching

Connect with Kimi:

• Visit &More for Kimi’s coaching, classes, and events
• Download the free Conscious Kink Checklist

Stuck in a sex rut? Take the free quiz at https://TheBetterBedroom.com.

Tired of the all or nothing sex cycle? Learn how to enjoy intimacy without pressure, even when your energy is running low.

If you feel like every affectionate moment needs to lead to intercourse, you might be trapped in an all or nothing sex mindset. This pattern often leaves partners feeling exhausted or disconnected, as it narrows the definition of what intimacy can be. This episode is for anyone who wants to break that cycle and find more room to breathe in their relationship.

Certified Sex Therapist and host Heather Shannon explains how to build intimacy without pressure, helping you explore diverse forms of intimacy that do not require high energy or a high libido. By shifting your focus away from the performance of intercourse, you can start reclaiming your sexual experiences and finding connection in the small, everyday moments.

Subscribe for weekly relationship insights, and comment if you have felt the pressure to perform in your own relationship.

Want Heather to be your sex and relationship coach?

Request your free consultation call here: https://calendly.com/hshann1/ignite

In this episode of Sex For Couples, Heather Shannon talks with relationship coach Ally Iseman about non-monogamy, consensual open relationships, and how to build a sex life and relationship that's designed on purpose instead of running on autopilot. They get into why exclusivity and commitment aren't the same thing, why jealousy shows up in monogamous relationships too, and how monogamous couples can borrow the same tools non-monogamous couples use to keep things exciting.

Ally is the founder of Passport to Pleasure, offering relationship coaching and curated travel experiences for couples who want to have the conversations they don't get to have anywhere else. She and Heather talk about relationship scripts, the difference between fantasy and desire, why living together or splitting things a certain way isn't required for commitment, and why curiosity — not effort — is the real antidote to a stuck sex life.

In this episode:

• Why exclusivity and commitment are not the same thing
• Jealousy is an emotional experience, not a character trait — and it shows up in monogamous relationships too
• The difference between a fantasy and a desire, and why you can share one without acting on it
• How "relationship scripts" (living together, marriage, monogamy by default) keep couples from designing what actually works for them
• Why avoiding a hard conversation with your partner is still a choice, not neutral
• How non-monogamous couples build novelty and variety — and how monogamous couples can borrow the same tools
• Why your sex life is supposed to change over time, and what that means for your relationship

Connect with Ally Iseman:

Website: https://www.passport2pleasure.com/

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/allyiseman

Connect with Heather:

Stuck In A Sex Rut? Take the free quiz: TheBetterBedroom.com

Work with Heather As Your Coach: https://HeatherShannon.co

Stuck in a sex rut? Take the free quiz at https://TheBetterBedroom.com

If you've ever wondered if you're sexually repressed or inhibited, this is the eipsode for you!

Discover the signs that you're sexually inhibited, why so many people hold back sexually and what to do to become more sexually authentic and free to be yourself! Let your freak flag (or vanilla flag) fly.

Host and AASECT Certified Sex Therapist Heather Shannon goes over common patterns she sees with clients as well as her own past experiences feeling repressed and uncomfortable with sexuality.

In this episode, Heather shares practical ways to notice when you are holding back, how to talk about desires with a partner, and how to work with the parts of yourself that feel protective or ashamed.

• Sexual inhibition can show up as keeping fantasies private, staying quiet during sex, or feeling like your desires are weird or inappropriate.
• A “low libido” may actually be hidden desire that has been buried by self-judgment, fear of being judged, or difficulty naming wants.
• Private sexual interests, like porn fantasies, romance novels, or kink scenarios, can be a sign that part of your sexuality is not being shared with a partner.
• Cultural conditioning plays a major role, including messages from family, friends, school, church, purity culture, and gender socialization.
• Safety matters first. Heather notes that sexual inhibition can be tied to real concerns about unwanted attention, objectification, and sexual aggression.
• Substance use during sex can be a clue that inhibition is getting in the way of pleasure and ease.

00:00 - What sexual inhibition is and what this episode will cover

00:31 - Signs you may be repressed or censoring yourself

05:36 - How socialization teaches people what sex is “allowed” to be

06:06 - Church, purity culture, and shame-based sexual messaging

07:03 - Sexual safety, unwanted attention, and guardedness

09:25 - Family modeling, mixed examples, and emotional risk around sex

13:36 - How civilization can lead us to exile our primal side

15:00 - Reconciling the proper self with the sexual self

16:25 - Integrating lust and emotional connection

17:24 - Using parts work to welcome the more wild parts

19:50 - How sharing desires can create intimacy and closeness

20:49 - Substance use as a sign that inhibition may be present

21:10 - Befriending the protective inner voice

21:40 - Freeing your sexuality without needing to be stereotypically wild

23:06 - How to ask for curiosity and safety from a partner

Looking for coaching? Request a free consultation with Heather:

Unlock Your Passion - Consultation Call

Feeling stuck in your sex life? Take the free quiz to find your sexy spark again: https://thebetterbedroom.com

SEX WITH ADHD

You're in the middle of sex and somehow your brain wanders off to grocery lists, Hamilton the musical, or the ceiling fan clicking. Then the shame kicks in. If that's you, this episode is going to change how you think about it completely.

Heather sits down with Cate Osborn, ADHD content creator, sex educator, and best-selling author of The ADHD Field Guide for Adults, to break down what ADHD and neurodivergence actually have to do with sex and intimacy. Spoiler: everything.

They cover why the ADHD brain treats sex like just another series of tasks (same as making a sandwich), why kink might be the most naturally ADHD-friendly toolbox there is, how executive dysfunction shows up in the bedroom, the surprising links between ADHD and erectile dysfunction, orgasm difficulty, and hormonal shifts, and, for partners of someone with ADHD, where explanation ends and excuse begins.

In this episode:

00:00 Intro

01:35 Why so many of Heather's clients turn out to be neurodivergent

02:53 Executive functioning and how it touches every part of your sex life

04:15 The comorbidities nobody talks about (anxiety, OCD, disordered eating)

04:42 What "AuDHD" is and why it matters

06:45 The sexual assault statistics that stopped Heather in her tracks

08:04 Inside The ADHD Field Guide for Adults

14:11 Why kink might be the perfect tool for an ADHD brain

18:20 The real reason you get distracted during sex

23:50 "I'm thinking about Hamilton the musical", checking out mid-sex

25:10 Eye contact, communication, and knowing your own needs

36:12 The partner side: what's fair to ask, and where accountability comes in

44:34 Resentment, parentified relationships, and sex drive

45:43 Orgasm difficulty and erectile dysfunction, explained

Curious about coaching with Heather? Book a free Pathway to Passion consult

More from Cate Osborn:

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