At a Total Loss

Dr. Jason Collins is the founder of the Pregnancy Institute.  His career and passion has focused on stillbirth, umbilical cord accidents and umbilical cord pathology.  Dr. Collins has been researching cord issues and deaths for over 20 years. His professional opinions come from evidence based facts, which you will hear throughout this entire episode. He continues his research into these tragic losses and would love to connect with newly bereaved parents to help them find answers as well as navigate subsequent pregnancies.

*NOTE: You will hear us referencing images and documents. If you'd like to see them while listening to this episode, go to my Youtube page to watch the video of this recording.  YouTube

If you'd like to speak with Dr Collins, you can email him here: [email protected]

**This information is not intended to vilify medical professionals. It is strictly educational to point out the lack of education on umbilical cords and how we as bereaved mothers can get answers and advocate for ourselves in the event our providers do not have the understanding needed. Always consult with your medical professional, but also, arm yourself with your own education and knowledge.

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NOTE: I am not a doctor or a therapist. The views of my guests are not always reflective of my own.  I am just a real life loss mom describing her experiences with life after loss. These are my experiences, and I'm putting it out there so you feel less alone. Always do your own research and make informed decisions!

For more REAL TALK about baby loss and grief, hit subscribe to be notified when another episode drops!

Support the podcast and shop the store!  At a Total Loss Shop

 Instagram @thekatherinelazar 

Youtube: @thekatherinelazar

Email: [email protected]

Website: www.katherinelazar.com

Some helpful resources:

https://countthekicks.org/

https://www.measuretheplacenta.org/

https://www.pushpregnancy.org/

https://www.tommys.org/

Local to Atlanta:

https://www.northsidepnl.com/

Ashley and I are in the Atlanta studio to talk about her precious son Daniel who died from a cord accident and was born still in April 2023. As she approaches his first birthday, she talks about how her grief has evolved, her faith and how she decided to plan a golf tournament in Daniel's name. 

What we discuss:

• Regretting the decision not to have a funeral/memorial service
• Not knowing how to answer questions with grief brain
• The unfairness of how our babies didn't live and others did
• Accelerated Resolution Therapy
• Cord Accidents
• Grief support for living siblings and helping them navigate it
• And so much more relatable info...

Find Ashley on IG: @apattkd15 

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NOTE: I am not a doctor or a therapist. The views of my guests are not always reflective of my own.  I am just a real life loss mom describing her experiences with life after loss. These are my experiences, and I'm putting it out there so you feel less alone. Always do your own research and make informed decisions!

For more REAL TALK about baby loss and grief, hit subscribe to be notified when another episode drops!

Support the podcast and shop the store!  At a Total Loss Shop

 Instagram @thekatherinelazar

Youtube: @thekatherinelazar

Email: [email protected]

Website: www.katherinelazar.com

Some helpful resources:

• https://countthekicks.org/
• https://www.measuretheplacenta.org/
• https://www.pushpregnancy.org/
• https://www.tommys.org/

Local to Atlanta:

• https://www.northsidepnl.com/

Lindsey M. Henke is a licensed clinical social worker and psychotherapist specializing in the grief that accompanies life transitions, specifically during motherhood. She founded Pregnancy After Loss Support (PALS), a nonprofit for parents pregnant after a previous perinatal loss or infant death. Her writing has been featured on TODAY.com and in Pregnancy and Newborn magazine, Huffington Post, and the New York Times. Her new book, "When Skies Are Gray" is being released later in the year.

In this episode we discuss the challenges that pregnancy and parenting after loss bring, the common fears that moms have, and the therapies we can do that can help. 

Find her on Instagram @pregnancyafterlosssupport & @LindseyMHenke

Pregnancy After Loss Support

About Lindsey

Lindsey's Book: "When Skies Are Gray"

Pregnancy After Loss App

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NOTE: I am not a doctor or a therapist. The views of my guests are not always reflective of my own.  I am just a real life loss mom describing her experiences with life after loss. These are my experiences, and I'm putting it out there so you feel less alone. Always do your own research and make informed decisions!

For more REAL TALK about baby loss and grief, hit subscribe to be notified when another episode drops!

Support the podcast and shop the store!  At a Total Loss Shop

 Instagram @thekatherinelazar

Youtube: @thekatherinelazar

Email: [email protected]

Website: www.katherinelazar.com

Some helpful resources:

https://countthekicks.org/

https://www.measuretheplacenta.org/

https://www.pushpregnancy.org/

https://www.tommys.org/

Local to Atlanta:

https://www.northsidepnl.com/

Liz's son, Harrison, was stillborn at full term. She joins me in discussing her experiences in her workplace with maternity leave policy and what that looked like. When she found that the terms were not even in place for mothers who didn't get to bring their baby home, she did a ton of research and went to bat for herself and her son, Harrison. She gives some recommendations on how you too can approach your company to try to make change happen.  We also talk about returning to work and the different ways you can handle it.

Going back to work is scary. It's a place where you were at pregnant and happy. Going back after your baby dies seems like going back in time where nothing happened. It's weird and it's a little jarring. Some don't ever want to return and some want to go back ASAP for the distraction. Whatever you feel, it's normal and in this episode we discuss it all.

We hope it helps!

To get some guidance from Liz on how to handle your workplace policy, message her on LinkedIn https://www.linkedin.com/in/lizmyers19/

Or on Instagram @lizmyers19 

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NOTE: I am not a doctor or a therapist. The views of my guests are not always reflective of my own.  I am just a real life loss mom describing her experiences with life after loss. These are my experiences, and I'm putting it out there so you feel less alone. Always do your own research and make informed decisions!

For more REAL TALK about baby loss and grief, hit subscribe to be notified when another episode drops!

Support the podcast and shop the store!  At a Total Loss Shop

 Instagram @thekatherinelazar 

Youtube: @thekatherinelazar

Email: [email protected]

Website: www.katherinelazar.com

Some helpful resources:

https://countthekicks.org/

https://www.measuretheplacenta.org/

https://www.pushpregnancy.org/

https://www.tommys.org/

Local to Atlanta:

https://www.northsidepnl.com/

In this episode, I answer your questions and concerns regarding your baby's birthday. I also give perspective on the difference in Brody's 1st Birthday and his 2nd that we just experienced yesterday. Along with all of this, I read to you some examples of what other parents do on their baby's birthday to help give you some ideas or to help normalize what you'd like to or are already doing.

It's a tough topic, and it's not easy being a parent to a dead child. We are doing our absolute best. I hope this episode sheds some light on the subject and helps guide you through the 1st, 2nd or whatever year it is if you need some insight.

Hit me up on IG! @thekatherinelazar

Support the podcast and shop the store!  At a Total Loss Shop

*************************************

NOTE: I am not a doctor or a therapist. The views of my guests are not always reflective of my own.  I am just a real life loss mom describing her experiences with life after loss. These are my experiences, and I'm putting it out there so you feel less alone. Always do your own research and make informed decisions!

For more REAL TALK about baby loss and grief, hit subscribe to be notified when another episode drops!

 Instagram @thekatherinelazar 

Youtube: @thekatherinelazar

Email: [email protected]

Website: www.katherinelazar.com

Some helpful resources:

https://countthekicks.org/

https://www.measuretheplacenta.org/

https://www.pushpregnancy.org/

https://www.tommys.org/

Local to Atlanta:

https://www.northsidepnl.com/

At the request of many, Liz and I created this short episode to share with those in your circle. We answer your Instagram submissions on what you want others to know. So many times support people just have no idea how to navigate this and in the thick of grief, loss parents don't have the words to tell them. Well, we hope that this episode can be shared with those that are looking for ways to help or maybe a guide on what NOT to do.

Loss Parents, this is also a great episode to help validate how you're feeling in response to how others are treating the death of your baby. We are here to help you realize you are not alone in how you feel and maybe suggest some ways that you can give to those around you that would better help.

Support people are our lifeline during the darkest times a human can experience. So if you are a support person, thank you for even listening to try to help. We can't do it without good support and love.

Liz and I are brutally honest and we of course are only speaking from our own opinions and experiences. Not speaking for everyone out there. In the 100s of conversations I've had with loss parents, I can tell you that these are the most popular things that they want support people to know.

We hope it helps!

Hit up Liz on Instagram @lizmyers19 

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NOTE: I am not a doctor or a therapist. The views of my guests are not always reflective of my own.  I am just a real life loss mom describing her experiences with life after loss. These are my experiences, and I'm putting it out there so you feel less alone. Always do your own research and make informed decisions!

For more REAL TALK about baby loss and grief, hit subscribe to be notified when another episode drops!

Support the podcast and shop the store!  At a Total Loss Shop

 Instagram @thekatherinelazar 

Youtube: @thekatherinelazar

Email: [email protected]

Website: www.katherinelazar.com

Some helpful resources:

https://countthekicks.org/

https://www.measuretheplacenta.org/

https://www.pushpregnancy.org/

https://www.tommys.org/

Local to Atlanta:

https://www.northsidepnl.com/

Liz (from episode 1 and 30) is back to discuss this taboo topic of "Gender Disappointment" during PAL. This is a topic we get asked about A LOT. Now, I don't love this phrase but it's general and we understand what it means without further explanation. I'd like to say it's more like Gender Processing because there's definitely a reaction to having the opposite sex of the baby you lost. We dive into the dark, the ugly, the things we only say to each other. Grief is a big topic we discuss as well as how we handled PAL. We LOVE our babies, however, there are moments that we have to process not having the "picture" we always thought we had.

We are open and honest about this and we hope it helps. This is REAL TALK, mommas!

Hit up Liz on IG @lizmyers19 

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NOTE: I am not a doctor or a therapist. The views of my guests are not always reflective of my own.  I am just a real life loss mom describing her experiences with life after loss. These are my experiences, and I'm putting it out there so you feel less alone. Always do your own research and make informed decisions!

For more REAL TALK about baby loss and grief, hit subscribe to be notified when another episode drops!

Support the podcast and shop the store!  At a Total Loss Shop

 Instagram @thekatherinelazar 

Youtube: @thekatherinelazar

Email: [email protected]

Website: www.katherinelazar.com

Some helpful resources:

https://countthekicks.org/

https://www.measuretheplacenta.org/

https://www.pushpregnancy.org/

https://www.tommys.org/

Local to Atlanta:

https://www.northsidepnl.com/

Amanda Louder is a Certified Sex & Marriage Coach who helps men & women overcome their obstacles to create a more emotionally, mentally, spiritually, and physically intimate relationship.  She speaks from her own Christian faith lens for those who want to involve their Christianity in their coaching. 

We discuss a topic that I feel doesn't get addressed: Intimacy after loss and the challenges it brings including TTC after loss. Amanda is also the host of the Sex for Saints Podcast where she discusses literally everything she possibly can regarding sex coaching.

We talk about it ALL. Nothing was off the table. Everything from hating our bodies after it was supposed to take care of our babies, to how trauma affects our libido, to becoming consumed with wanting to get pregnant again ASAP, to communicating how we feel to our partners and finally, how to reconnect with them. 

Amanda is gentle and kind in her approach and has helped so many people regain their intimacy after their baby died.  She provides a safe space to discuss this vulnerable topic. Y'all will learn SO much from this episode! So interesting!

If you'd like to get in touch with Amanda, find her on Instagram and mention this podcast episode! @christiansexcoach 

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NOTE: I am not a doctor or a therapist. The views of my guests are not always reflective of my own.  I am just a real life loss mom describing her experiences with life after loss. These are my experiences, and I'm putting it out there so you feel less alone. Always do your own research and make informed decisions!

For more REAL TALK about baby loss and grief, hit subscribe to be notified when another episode drops!

Support the podcast and shop the store!  At a Total Loss Shop

 Instagram @thekatherinelazar 

Youtube: @thekatherinelazar

Email: [email protected]

Website: www.katherinelazar.com

Some helpful resources:

https://countthekicks.org/

https://www.measuretheplacenta.org/

https://www.pushpregnancy.org/

https://www.tommys.org/

Local to Atlanta:

https://www.northsidepnl.com/

You asked and I'm answering! Y'all submitted questions and topics on Instagram and here's what I'm covering in this episode:

• New Years resolutions are sh*t now.
• Not setting goals and making plans much anymore
• How conversations with Loss Moms are soooo different than non loss
• My downloadable survival guides coming soon!
• I go off on a leaf blower tangent

Answering your questions:

• “Getting past caring how other feel when I include my son on my holiday card”
• “Parenting after loss: thought the holidays would be easier after having more kids, it’s only become worse grief wise. Getting more sad and angry every year realizing what my baby and I missed out on.“
• “Health and Anxiety after loss”
• “How does life after loss (or you after loss) feel different and yet the same?”
• “How to deal with shitty family who didn’t support you during loss and much more”
• “How to manage feelings about due date”
• “How to face another year”
• “How infertility impacts TTC after loss”
• “How to advocate for yourself in PAL following a stillbirth”
• “How the fuck anyone survives pregnancy after traumatic loss”
• “7 weeks and haven’t told anyone because don’t want to hear about 'Gods plan'"
• Terrified to go to the doc, new MFM and now I know too much.”

I hope your holidays are everything that you need them to be! Protect your peace, include your baby and don't take sh*t from anyone. Also hit me up, I'll be boozin :)

Follow me on the IG! @thekatherinelazar 

I mentioned Molly Bears! https://mollybears.org/

*************************************

NOTE: I am not a doctor or a therapist. The views of my guests are not always reflective of my own.  I am just a real life loss mom describing her experiences with life after loss. These are my experiences, and I'm putting it out there so you feel less alone. Always do your own research and make informed decisions!

For more REAL TALK about baby loss and grief, hit subscribe to be notified when another episode drops!

Support the podcast and shop the store!  At a Total Loss Shop

 Instagram @thekatherinelazar

Youtube: @thekatherinelazar

Email: [email protected]

Website: www.katherinelazar.com

Some helpful resources:

https://countthekicks.org/

https://www.measuretheplacenta.org/

https://www.pushpregnancy.org/

https://www.tommys.org/

Local to Atlanta:

https://www.northsidepnl.com/

This momma's beautiful daughter was stillborn in 1985. Her perspective ranges over 40 years and she gives insight on what she did and didn't do over the years. We talk about shame behind stillbirth, fear of telling people about them, bringing them through the years and trying to honor them privately.

This is incredible insight from a momma who has done this for decades. If you are a momma who lost years ago, please reach out to her. She is looking to now talk about Sabrina more, help others in this situation, and talk to mommas who may struggle with their grief so long after.

Email Jeanette at [email protected]

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NOTE: I am not a doctor or a therapist. The views of my guests are not always reflective of my own.  I am just a real life loss mom describing her experiences with life after loss. These are my experiences, and I'm putting it out there so you feel less alone. Always do your own research and make informed decisions!

For more REAL TALK about baby loss and grief, hit subscribe to be notified when another episode drops!

Support the podcast and shop the store!  At a Total Loss Shop

Instagram @thekatherinelazar 

Youtube: @thekatherinelazar

Email: [email protected]

Website: www.katherinelazar.com

Some helpful resources:

https://countthekicks.org/

https://www.measuretheplacenta.org/

https://www.pushpregnancy.org/

https://www.tommys.org/

Local to Atlanta:

https://www.northsidepnl.com/