Dr. Alfiee, psychologist, host of the Couched in Color podcast and founder of the AAKOMA Project, dives into attachment styles, how depression can impact a partnership, and the ways our traumas and triggers can become unearthed in new relationships. Then this week’s Dear Damona question is: I married too young and stayed too long. Can you please help me get back into the dating game?

Ready to break free of your dating loops? Get Damona’s signature online program, The Dating Accelerator by visiting: DamonaHoffman.com/program

Submit your questions for Dear Damona on any of the socials @DamonaHoffman or by visiting DamonaHoffman.com

Timestamps

Introduction to the Episode (00:00:00)  

Attachment Styles Overview (00:00:59)  

Expectations in Relationships (00:03:30)  

The Desire to Change Partners (00:05:04)  

The Fantasy of Relationships (00:06:13)  

Effort vs. Work in Relationships (00:08:01)  

Unpacking Emotional Baggage (00:08:35)  

Understanding Attachment Styles (00:09:55)  

Cultural Context of Attachment (00:12:04)  

Personal Experiences with Attachment (00:14:23)  

Embracing Attachment Nuances (00:15:17)  

Understanding Family Dynamics and Attachment Styles (00:16:50)  

Personal Reflection on Attachment Styles (00:17:42)  

The Impact of Community on Relationships (00:18:26)  

Navigating Triggers in Relationships (00:19:55)  

Mental Health and Medication Statistics (00:20:37)  

Stigma Around Mental Health in Communities (00:22:13)  

Dating with Mental Health Challenges (00:23:05)  

Recognizing Deal Breakers in Relationships (00:23:43)  

Changing Attitudes Towards Therapy (00:25:51)  

Generational Differences in Mental Health Views (00:27:06)  

Healing from Trauma and Relationships (00:28:08)  

The Process of Healing and Trauma Management (00:30:25)  

Distinguishing Good and Bad Butterflies (00:32:22)  

The Importance of Self-Reflection Before Dating (00:33:14)  

Understanding Triggers in Relationships (00:33:50)

Disclosing Trauma in Relationships (00:35:17)

Trust and Safety in Sharing Trauma (00:36:12)

Empowerment in Relationships (00:38:17)

Unpopular Opinions on Relationships (00:39:46)

Finding a New Relationship After Marriage (00:41:23)

Going Where the People Are (00:43:24)

Strategic Socializing for Dating (00:45:38).

Creating Momentum in Dating (00:49:04)

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