Dr. Alfiee, psychologist, host of the Couched in Color podcast and founder of the AAKOMA Project, dives into attachment styles, how depression can impact a partnership, and the ways our traumas and triggers can become unearthed in new relationships. Then this week’s Dear Damona question is: I married too young and stayed too long. Can you please help me get back into the dating game?

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Submit your questions for Dear Damona on any of the socials @DamonaHoffman or by visiting DamonaHoffman.com

Timestamps

Introduction to the Episode (00:00:00)  

Attachment Styles Overview (00:00:59)  

Expectations in Relationships (00:03:30)  

The Desire to Change Partners (00:05:04)  

The Fantasy of Relationships (00:06:13)  

Effort vs. Work in Relationships (00:08:01)  

Unpacking Emotional Baggage (00:08:35)  

Understanding Attachment Styles (00:09:55)  

Cultural Context of Attachment (00:12:04)  

Personal Experiences with Attachment (00:14:23)  

Embracing Attachment Nuances (00:15:17)  

Understanding Family Dynamics and Attachment Styles (00:16:50)  

Personal Reflection on Attachment Styles (00:17:42)  

The Impact of Community on Relationships (00:18:26)  

Navigating Triggers in Relationships (00:19:55)  

Mental Health and Medication Statistics (00:20:37)  

Stigma Around Mental Health in Communities (00:22:13)  

Dating with Mental Health Challenges (00:23:05)  

Recognizing Deal Breakers in Relationships (00:23:43)  

Changing Attitudes Towards Therapy (00:25:51)  

Generational Differences in Mental Health Views (00:27:06)  

Healing from Trauma and Relationships (00:28:08)  

The Process of Healing and Trauma Management (00:30:25)  

Distinguishing Good and Bad Butterflies (00:32:22)  

The Importance of Self-Reflection Before Dating (00:33:14)  

Understanding Triggers in Relationships (00:33:50)

Disclosing Trauma in Relationships (00:35:17)

Trust and Safety in Sharing Trauma (00:36:12)

Empowerment in Relationships (00:38:17)

Unpopular Opinions on Relationships (00:39:46)

Finding a New Relationship After Marriage (00:41:23)

Going Where the People Are (00:43:24)

Strategic Socializing for Dating (00:45:38).

Creating Momentum in Dating (00:49:04)

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