Authentic

How do you let go of the old way when it’s the very thing that built you? How do you trust a new rhythm when the old one got you here?

Today, I share ...

• The 'doing' voice that tells me stay on it, stay in it, don’t you dare let go
• The fears that if I slow down I’ll disappear, become invisible, waste my potential
• The soul voice that whispers, there’s another way
• What it feels like to be wedged between don’t-let-go and surrender-darling

This is the work of the soul. To risk being smaller in the eyes of my own ego so I can be bigger where it actually counts, inside my own life.

If you’re terrified of letting go, yet aching for something softer, truer, and more sustainable… you’ll feel this one.

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After eight years together it’s easy for Steve and me to fall into the rhythm of everyday questions like what’s for dinner? how was your day? and forget to ask the kind of questions that keep curiosity and intimacy alive.

Recently, we’ve been using Esther Perel’s Where Should We Begin? cards as a way to speak more deeply about topics and explore conversations we wouldn’t usually tap into. In this episode, we pulled a card that asked:

What is one thing you wish you had been told as a child?

We each share our answers, the reflections that came with them, and what this kind of intentional curiosity does for our relationship.

This episode is an invitation to remember that love doesn’t just grow on autopilot. It grows when we keep showing up with openness, playfulness, and a willingness to learn about each other, even and especially, years in.

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I sit with Ashley Hayball-Heald, a previous client of mine, who is a widowed, brave woman, who let love in again after her husband died. She tells the story of how she navigated grief, kids, other people’s opinions, signs from her husband who died, and what it looks like to say yes again to love. 

Ashley is the founder of Team Hayball and Find Your HOPE. She coaches widows to find their hope again amidst tough times. She’s remarried now, but that didn’t come easily. She’s been through the dark nights, the silence, the judgments, the doubts. She knows what it looks like when life breaks you, and what it takes to slowly piece your heart back together. 

If you’ve lost someone, or you’re holding space for someone who has, or you’re just someone who believes love always has the capacity to show up again, this one’s for you. 

Check out Ashley here:
Love after loss
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Steve and I talk about something we both know all too well: that awkward, subtle distance that can build up in a relationship when you’re not saying what you’re really feeling.

We recently found ourselves in a place of disconnection, nothing dramatic, no big argument, just a series of micro misunderstandings, missed cues, and moments where we assumed instead of asked. Steve played the, 'everything is fine' card. I kept going into the, 'ah, no it's not'. 

We talk about:

• The quiet buildup that leads to emotional distance
• How easy it is to misread or misinterpret each other when we’re not fully present
• Why the “I’m fine” act only works for so long before resentment starts to settle in
• And what it took to finally come back into honest connection

This episode is for anyone who’s ever felt a disconnect but didn’t quite know how to name it. For anyone who’s ever gone through the motions while something unspoken sits between you. 

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I share a deeply personal letter to my mum, a letter I’ve been slowly writing in my heart for years, and only now have the words, the softness, and the honesty to say out loud.

It’s about the part of me that believed I had to do more to be more.
That my worth was measured by my output, by my ambition, by how different I could be from the women before me. And how, in trying so hard not to be like my mum, I missed just how extraordinary she truly is.

This is a letter of humility and of finally seeing my mother for who she is, not just the woman who raised me, but the woman whose quiet strength, loving presence, and deeply caring nature are exactly what I once thought I had to outgrow and now deeply admire.

If you’ve ever wrestled with your identity, with the stories you’ve inherited about what it means to matter or if you’re only now realising how much your mum gave, loved, and shaped you this episode will land deep.

Sometimes the people we tried not to become were the exact ones we needed to learn from all along.

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After witnessing a series of moments on my recent travels left me gutted.

People standing on coral. Ignoring signs that asked not to disturb nesting wildlife.
Disrespecting sacred sites with noise, ego, and entitlement.

This episode and letter is a call to all of us who travel to remember that we are guests. That we’re not entitled to the land, the wildlife, or the culture. That not everything needs to hold personal meaning for it to deserve our care and respect.

I speak about the pain of watching people override warnings and traditions. About how easy it is to forget we’re not the only important species on this planet. And how sometimes, staying on the path literally and metaphorically is the most respectful thing we can do.

This episode is a love letter to the earth, to those who hold sacred traditions, and to the animals just trying to nest, rest, and live. And it ends with the Tiaki Promise a beautiful, grounded commitment to travel with heart, care, and consideration.

This isn’t about shaming. It’s about remembering what decency looks like.

Intrepid Adventure - Karijini National Park
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Steve and I lay it all out in this one, the little daily things or habits we find annoying or frustrating about each other.

It’s funny, it’s honest, and it’s the kind of real-life stuff that happens in every relationship but rarely gets talked about out loud. From petty habits to personality quirks, we share them openly with plenty of laughs in this one.

We all know that loving someone doesn’t mean they don’t drive you up the wall sometimes. We thought we'd have some fun with this episode. 

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I share a letter I wrote to the part of me that still believes I have to prove my worth to matter.

The part that panics when I slow down. That thinks I’m losing my edge if I’m not pushing. That tells me if I’m not doing, I must be failing.

This letter is from my truth to my ego. From the grounded part of me that knows there’s another way. A slower, more intentional way of living that isn’t fuelled by fear, but by presence. Substance. 

I speak to what it’s like to walk away from the version of yourself that hustles for love, success, and validation and how confronting it can be to choose peace over performance.

If you’ve ever felt like you’re only as good as what you achieve, if rest makes you feel guilty, if part of you still believes you have to earn your enoughness, this one’s for you.

Buy my book, Authentic - coming home to your true self - AUS, EUR, USA
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Steve and I share about the reality of step-parenting and family dynamics, especially what happens when a step-parent enters a home that already has its rhythm, its ways, its rules.

Even when you try so hard not to disrupt the dynamic, the truth is, it changes. Because it has to. There's no way around it. 

We talk about:

• How the dynamic shifts when a new adult comes into the mix
• Why it’s so bloody hard even when your intentions are good
• The messiness of getting it wrong, being misunderstood, and still showing up anyway
• The importance of self-awareness, communication, and staying on the same team 

This isn’t a polished story. It’s real life. The kind that takes time, patience, and a lot of checking yourself. If you’re in a blended family, a new relationship with kids in the mix, or navigating the slow road of becoming a unit, this one’s for you.

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In this episode, I take you back to a question that unraveled a lot for me: What is enough? Especially when it comes to money.

A few years ago, I was chasing the magic million. I thought hitting that number would mean I’d made it as a coach. As if that was the only metric that mattered.

Then I stopped and I asked what’s actually enough for me?

That question cracked something wide open. I started looking at my money differently. I got right up close to it, every single detail. I sat down with a spreadsheet and went through my finances with the kind of fine-tooth comb you use when you’ve had lice. No stone left unturned.

I calculated what it really costs for me to live on planet Earth, from groceries to business expenses, house payments, taxes, ETFs, donations, subscriptions, clothes, the lot. I factored in how Steve and I have set up our money together and got clear on what my version of enough actually looks like.

What I found was sobering. Eye-opening. And a bit of a slap. Because the million-dollar goal was never mine. It was a borrowed dream. And I would’ve kept pouring out energy I didn’t have chasing something that was never mine to strive for in the first place. 

This episode is for anyone who’s been running on the treadmill of “more,” wondering why it never feels like enough. Maybe it’s time to stop and ask what your enough actually is.

Buy my book, Authentic - coming home to your true self - AUS, EUR, USA
Join Authentic The Program - registrations open now
Coach with me 1:1 - Book a 20-minute call now
The Good Life - sign up now
Free Wheel of Life Assessment - take the test now
Write into us - let us know what you want to hear
www.katjohn.com.au

Support the show