Being Curious with Knomii

What You’ll Learn From This Episode:

Today Madeline and Cynthia ask the question;  What if we based our New Year’s resolutions not only on what we want but on why we want it?  In other words, what if we let go of our perception of societal expectations and made our New Year’s resolutions based on what really makes us tick—our values? 

In this episode, we break it down into two parts: how to set a value-based goal, and then how to achieve it. It's a fail-proof method (which we also explain). Packed with the usual tools and resources that make these methods and ideas immediately actionable, this episode is perfect for your yearly wind-down. 

What we discussed:

(00:08) Introduction to Topic: Why New Year's Resolutions Suck

(01:11) What makes a meaningful goal?

(02:26) Example: Pulling a goal out of a value

(04:44) Starting from a "being" goal into a "doing" activity

(06:02) Flexible goals restore our power to choose

(08:31) What you want to be known for is beautiful

(09:40) Working backwards from "doing" to values

(11:17) Extracting value-based goals from reflection

(12:36) How to avoid unrealistic goals

(15:55) Marrying our goals with our reality

(18:01) What is a useful belief?

(22:12) How our value-based goals affect the people around us

(24:47) How value-based goals create purpose

(26:48) Every "no" has a "yes" behind it

(28:06) What to do if you're "failing" at your goals

(29:22) Wrap up: what we discussed 

(29:44) Closing with a quote

For further reading and tools: 

Start with a value and then pick the "doing" activity

What do I want to be known for?

Core value example: Freedom

Examples of actions you could take to align more fully with freedom as a core value and belief in your life:

• Express yourself freely and openly.
• 
  
• Build a life in which you can create your own schedule, travel, try new things, etc.
• 
  
• Nurture relationships with friends and family who give you the freedom to be yourself.

Write your New Years Resolution list

Why do I feel drawn to this activity?

Why is that important to me?=Value Identification

Additional Exercises

• Focus on what you DID do not what you didn’t do….Every month for the past year you were proud, empowered and appreciated YOU. WHY?
• 
  
• Aligning your Values with your Goals worksheet (contact us for info)
• 
  
• Goal Understanding-The Why of your goals worksheet (contact us for info)
• 
  
• Reflection question: What would I choose if I lived my life “on purpose”?

Useful Belief: Because It's Better Than Positive Thinking by Chris Helder

Quote for reflection: 

“Who you are what your values are what you stand for they are your anchor, your north star you find them in a book you’ll find them in your soul” Ann Mulcahy

Want to get in touch? 

Email us at [email protected] or [email protected] to request a topic, give feedback, or learn more about our 1:1 sessions. 

Follow Knomii on Instagram, TikTok, or LinkedIn. 

Follow and connect with Madeline on Linkedin. 

Follow and connect with Cynthia on Linkedin.

Hosts & Guests

Cynthia Garrett, LMHC  Host

Madeline Farquharson   Host

Information

Show: The Knomii Podcast

Published 12/05/2022

Season 1

Rating: Clean

Frequency: Updated Bi-monthly

Length: 31 min

Episode 7

Copyright, All rights reserved

What You’ll Learn From This Episode:

When is the last time you truly felt confident? Was is recent? Was it never? 

When you close your eyes and think of a confident person, what springs to mind?

In today’s episode, we discuss how to be that person in your vision, and how knowing who you are and feeling like you belong relate to this elusive state of self-confidence.

We pack in tools I use in my coaching practice and Cynthia uses in her therapy practice all to help build confidence, and explore what healthy validation from others looks like.

What we discussed:

(00:49) Intro to topic: I want to be more confident...

(02:31) Looking at the "recipe" for confidence

(05:32) What keeps us from feeling confident

(06:45) Creating "ports" to own our greatness

(09:45) What the world tells us about confidence

(10:46) The in-out-in method for confidence

(12:35) Why do we care what people think

(15:21) What to do when our environment kills our confidence

(17:37) Confidence and connection go hand in hand

(19:38) The 3 wins method to build confidence

(21:12) Going on a quest for self-promotion

(23:51) What is self-validation?

(24:20) Closing with a quote

(25:27) Get in touch

For further reading and tools: 

Tools and resources we discussed in the episode:

Self-Reflection:  What do I want to be known for?

Mel Robbins-3 Wins (1 last 24 hours, 1 last 90 days, 1 next 90 days)

Celebrate your accomplishments and strengths

Write below all the accomplishments you can think of, even from when you were little. They can be big or small, public ones or private ones. Then write down words that describe your strengths, such as reliable, caring, curious, strong, etc.

 In-Out-In Method of Validating

Maslow’s hierarchy of needs

1. Biological and physiological needs - air, food, drink, shelter, warmth, sex, sleep, etc.

2. Safety needs - protection from elements, security, order, law, stability, freedom from fear.

3. Love and belongingness needs - friendship, intimacy, trust, and acceptance, receiving and giving affection and love. Affiliating, being part of a group (family, friends, work).

4. Esteem needs - which Maslow classified into two categories: (i) esteem for oneself (dignity, achievement, mastery, independence) and (ii) the need to be accepted and valued by others (e.g., status, prestige).

Books:

“the Confidence Code” by Russ Harris

“You are a Badass” by Jen Sincero

“Start Where you are”  Journal of Exploration

Using Your Character Strengths to Build Confidence

Identifying and utilizing your strengths can help you be more resilient and build confidence. Check out the VIA Character Strengths survey and examine your results to find some strengths you could use to build more confidence in your day-to-day life. 

Quote for reflection: 

"Life is an ongoing process of choosing between safety (out of fear and need for defense) and risk (for the sake of progress and growth). Make the growth choice a dozen times a day."

Abraham Maslow

Definition:  Self-validation is when you are able to quietly reassure yourself that what you feel inside is real, is important, and makes sense.

Want to get in touch? 

Email us at [email protected] or [email protected] to request a topic, give feedback, or learn more about our 1:1 sessions. 

Follow Knomii on Instagram, TikTok, or LinkedIn. 

Follow and connect with Madeline on Linkedin. 

Follow and connect with Cynthia on Linkedin.

Hosts & Guests

Cynthia Garrett, LMHC  Host

Madeline Farquharson   Host

Information

Show: The Knomii Podcast

Published 11/21/2022

Season 1

Rating: Clean

Frequency: Updated Bi-monthly

Length: 25 min

Episode 6

Copyright, All rights reserved

What You’ll Learn From This Episode:

Today Madeline and Cynthia explore that dreadful word, ”should”.  Taking a look at how this plays out in our lives.

The “should” is likely generated by the mind in its rational wisdom. The underlying feelings are held by the body. How often do we ignore or completely dismiss them and do what we “should”?

Each time we do that, we tell our Self that we’re not important (or at least not as important as the thing we “should” do). Each time we disconnect a little more from our authentic Self. We give away our authentic power.

In today's conversation, we explore the meaning behind "should" and discover what we CAN leave behind. 

What we discussed:

(01:06) Introduction: That word that pops up this time of year

(03:01) The RAIN Technique

(05:45) Letting your thoughts come and go

(07:42) The job of emotions

(08:48) Internal vs. external pressure

(14:24) Who is in the driver's seat?

(16:20) "Should" as a motivator

(18:41) Stories we tell ourselves

(20:41) Putting things through the internal filter

(22:31) Bringing it all together

(24:22) Ending with a quote

(25:06) Closing notes

For further reading and tools: 

Tools and resources we discussed in the episode:

- The RAIN Technique by Tara Brach

- Emotions as information - which is not always accurate!

- Letting thoughts come and go, but not inviting for tea

More resources to explore this topic:

Think Again: The Power of Knowing What You Don't Know The Power of Knowing What You Don't Know   by Grant, Adam

Self-Compassion: The Proven Power of Being Kind to Yourself  by Neff, Kristin, Ph.D.

Atlas of the Heart: Mapping Meaningful Connection and the Language of Human Experience by Brené Brown 

RAIN Technique by Tara Brach

Brene Brown (Rising Strong)

When you find that you’re having a line of thoughts that may or may not be true and you want to confront this in an unaggressive kind way, do the following:

2. Take a deep breath and find 10 seconds of kindness.
3. 
   
5. Say “The story I’m telling myself…” and finish with a worry or a fear.
6. 
   
8. Then, say nothing.  And have a (hopefully productive) dialogue with yourself.

Quote for reflection: 

“STOP shoulding all over self, instead embrace curiosity and release judgement to make choices that enrich your life and feed your soul”

“Leave your door open for thoughts and emotions, just don’t invite them to tea”

Want to get in touch? 

Email us at [email protected] to request a topic, give feedback, or learn more about our 1:1 sessions. 

Follow Knomii on Instagram, TikTok, or LinkedIn. 

Follow and connect with Madeline on Linkedin. 

Follow and connect with Cynthia on Linkedin.

Hosts & Guests

Cynthia Garrett, LMHC  Host

Madeline Farquharson   Host

Information

Show: The Knomii Podcast

Published 11/07/2022

Season 1

Rating: Clean

Frequency: Updated Bi-monthly

Length: 25 min

Episode 7

Copyright, All rights reserved

What You’ll Learn From This Episode:

Feeling like none of your friendships (or very few) go more than skin deep? Or maybe you're feeling like making friends is a skill you simply don't have. 

No matter how you're coming to the conversation, we've been there and our clients have, too. In today's episode, we break down how to get deep in your friendships and really find value in the connections you make. 

What we discussed:

(00:44) Intro of topic: Why do my friendships feel so superficial?

(01:43) Changing our expectations of friendships

(02:40) The disconnect when it comes to connecting

(04:40) Connecting based on values

(09:17) Using deep friendships as a template

(10:58) Not having enough time to forge friendships

(13:24) Connecting through vulnerability

(18:22) Vulnerability vs. openness 

(19:39) Getting out of the "openness trap"

(23:11) Encouraging more vulnerability in our friendships

(26:49) Quotes from Cynthia

(28:17) Closing notes and contact information

For further reading and tools: 

Tools and resources we discussed in the episode:

- Think of the people in your life whom you get value from. What qualities do they bring out in you? What qualities do they have that you enjoy?  

- Check-in with yourself on what your expectations are around friendship. What does a "good friend" look like for you?

- Do an openness vs. vulnerability check. Are you giving and receiving in your friendships? How might you show up with more vulnerability the next time you're with someone?

More resources to explore this topic:

The Power of Vulnerability by Brené Brown

"The Friendship Files" by The Atlantic

Want to get in touch? 

Email us at [email protected] to request a topic, give feedback, or learn more about our 1:1 sessions. 

Follow Knomii on Instagram, TikTok, or LinkedIn. 

Follow and connect with Madeline on Linkedin. 

Follow and connect with Cynthia on Linkedin.

Hosts & Guests

Cynthia Garrett, LMHC  Host

Madeline Farquharson   Host

Information

Show: The Knomii Podcast

Published 10/24/2022

Season 1

Rating: Clean

Frequency: Updated Bi-monthly

Length: 30 min

Episode 4

Copyright, All rights reserved

What You’ll Learn From This Episode:

Feel like you're running on empty or dangerously approaching it? We know how you feel and so do our clients. 

Today, Madeline and Cynthia explore days when we feel helpless, overloaded, or unappreciated—when dragging ourselves out of bed requires the determination of Hercules. In other words…”burnout” -  a gradual process that doesn't happen overnight, but it can creep up on you. 

We discuss helpful ways to pause and change direction and learn how you can help yourself overcome burnout and feel healthy and positive again.

What we discussed:

(00:44) Topic intro: learning to allocate your resources

(02:01) Being reactive instead of proactive with energy

(03:05) What to do when you're "hanging from the cliff"

(05:12) Are we really limitless?

(07:11) What is "wasted" time?

(10:12) Being purposeful with your resources

(13:42) Shifting your priorities and "slices"

(14:53) Shifting your resources from one place to another

(16:37) What is real self-care?

(17:38) How to determine your baseline needs 

(20:13) The seven types of rest + replenishing your resources 

(23:20) Charging your batteries from zero

(24:47) Your 10-min sabbatical

(26:27) Making a self-check-in a habit

(27:48) Bringing it all together

(29:20) Ending with a quote

For further reading and tools: 

Tools and resources we discussed in the episode:

- Explore the 7 Types of Rest 

- Commit to allocation of time and energy

- List of things that deplete us (where in your life do you feel driven by frantic nervous energy?) and things that fill us (where in your life do you feel expansive, calm and grounded?)

- Take a 10-minute sabbatical for a check-in with myself  routine

More resources to explore this topic:

“Sacred Rest: Recover Your Life, Renew Your Energy, Restore Your Sanity” by Saundra Dalton-Smith

The Wheel of Life Template 

Work of Liz Fosslein

Want to get in touch? 

Email us at [email protected] to request a topic, give feedback, or learn more about our 1:1 sessions. 

Follow Knomii on Instagram, TikTok, or LinkedIn. 

Follow and connect with Madeline on Linkedin. 

Follow and connect with Cynthia on Linkedin.

Hosts & Guests

Cynthia Garrett, LMHC  Host

Madeline Farquharson   Host

Information

Show: The Knomii Podcast

Published 10/10/2022

Season 1

Rating: Clean

Frequency: Updated Bi-monthly

Length: 30 min

Episode 3

Copyright, All rights reserved

What You’ll Learn From This Episode:

Today Madeline and Cynthia welcome Gabriella Alziari to the podcast a reiki master, coach, and spiritual guide based in San Diego, California.

Her journey with spirituality started in high school when she studied Buddhism. Since then, she has trained in many spiritual disciplines, including meditation, reiki, tarot, qi gong, yoga and more!

Today, she works with women who are committed to deepening their self-awareness, trusting their intuition, and showing up authentically every day.

Gabriella is kicking off her program "Ignite your Purpose" on October 5th. You can find out more on her website and book a coaching session or tarot reading (+ more) directly through her site. 

Gabriella is also a beautiful poet. You can find her books, collections, and more on her writing website. 

What we discussed:

(00:43) Introducing Gabriella Alziari

(02:15) How to connect mind, body and soul with the help of your spirit guides

(03:30) Living fully and resonating with your intuition

(04:43) Shifting from corporate life to spiritual work

(07:21) Stepping into your personal power

(09:03) Creating opportunities for expansion

(09:57) Finding your edge to lean into uncomfortable

(10:48) Knowing when to make a change

(14:29) How to train your intuition

(17:31) Training intuition with automatic writing

(23:47) Empowering others to deal with their own emergencies

(25:31) Leaning into uncertainty

(28:26) Working with energy through reiki

(31:04) Managing how we absorb the energy of others

(38:31) Wrapping up and our quote

(39:32) Getting in touch with Gabriella 

For further reading and tools: 

Tools and resources we discussed in the episode:

Automatic Writing 

“Gut: The Inside Story of Our Body's Most Underrated Organ” by Giulia Enders, Jill Enders and David Shaw

Daily check-in questions with yourself:

How do I feel? Do I feel expansive? Where is my edge?  How can I lean into uncertainty?

More resources to explore this topic:

Gratitude Journaling

Body Scan Meditation

“Arriving at Your Own Door: 108 Lessons in Mindfulness” by Jon Kati-Zinn

Thought Journal

Think Again: The Power of Knowing What You Don't Know The Power of Knowing What You Don't Know   by Adam Grant

Want to get in touch? 

Email us at [email protected] to request a topic, give feedback, or learn more about our 1:1 sessions. 

Follow Knomii on Instagram, TikTok, or LinkedIn. 

Follow and connect with Madeline on Linkedin. 

Follow and connect with Cynthia on Linkedin.

Hosts & Guests

Cynthia Garrett, LMHC  Host

Madeline Farquharson   Host

Gabriella Alziari Guest

Information

Show: The Knomii Podcast

Published

Season 1

Rating: Clean

Frequency: Updated Bi-monthly

Length: 42 min

Episode 2

Copyright, All rights reserved

What You’ll Learn From This Episode:

This week’s episode provides a guide to being rather than doing. What does that mean? Doing has an endpoint or limitations such as only doing it when you feel comfortable. Being is when in every situation you commit to using one of your core values.  What are yours?

We believe that everyone should intentionally live a life based upon their own values; a state of being.  This show features a discussion around designing and implementing individual values-based mindsets and also introduces Cynthia & Madeline (the show’s co-hosts). They share how exploring their own values-based mindset can lead to a more fulfilling life.

For further reading and tools: 

VIA Character Strengths Survey - https://www.viacharacter.org/

Sparketype Test by Jonathan Fields - https://sparketype.com/sparketest/

Want to get in touch? 

Email us at [email protected] to request a topic, give feedback, or learn more about our 1:1 sessions. 

Follow Knomii on Instagram, TikTok, or LinkedIn. 

Follow and connect with Madeline on Linkedin. 

Follow and connect with Cynthia on Linkedin.

Hosts & Guests

Cynthia Garrett, LMHC  Host

Madeline Farquharson   Host

Information

Show: The Knomii Podcast

Published

Season 1

Rating: Clean

Frequency: Updated Bi-monthly

Length: 24 min

Episode 1

Copyright, All rights reserved