The PedsDocTalk Podcast: Child Health, Development & Parenting—From a Pediatrician Mom

Big Kids, Bigger Feelings: Navigating Defiance, Meltdowns, and Anxiety to Raise Confident, Connected Kids


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Big kids mean big feelings and sometimes that shows up as defiance, meltdowns, or even anxiety. In this episode, I’m breaking down what’s really going on beneath the surface and why it’s not just “bad behavior.” We often think school-aged is cruising with emotions but big feelings are common.

I’m joined by returning guest Alyssa Campbell, a child development expert, to provide the right tools for when emotions can feel overwhelming. We’ll talk about how age bias often shapes the way adults respond to older kids’ emotions, why yelling or punishment backfires, and how collaborative emotional processing can help kids feel understood while still respecting boundaries.

You’ll learn:

  • Why defiance is often a sign of unmet needs, not disrespect

  • The role of age bias in how we label behavior in older vs. younger kids

  • How collaborative emotional processing helps kids regulate big emotions

  • Practical, evidence-based ways to respond to meltdowns, worry, and pushback using her “F.A.C.T.S.” method

  • How to raise kids who feel both confident and connected

    To connect with Alyssa Campbel check out all her resources at https://www.seedandsew.org/about. Follow her on Instagram at @seed.and.sew. Buy her new book “Big Kids, Bigger Feelings” here: https://www.harpercollins.com/products/big-kids-bigger-feelings-alyssa-blask-campbellrachel-stuart-lounder?variant=43408468377634 


    We’d like to know who is listening! Please fill out our Listener Survey to help us improve the show and learn about you!


    00:00 – The “Easy Years” Myth
    01:16 – Why 5–12 Isn’t Smooth Sailing
    02:38 – Meet Alyssa Blas Campbell
    03:11 – Parents Feel Blindsided
    05:28 – Big Kid Development Shifts
    07:25 – What Big Meltdowns Look Like
    09:12 – Do We Expect Too Much?
    11:04 – 9 Senses & Nervous System
    15:23 – Different Kids, Different Needs
    18:08 – Handling Defiance With Compassion
    22:53 – Sibling Differences in Regulation
    25:48 – The F.A.C.T.S. Acronym
    31:29 – Amusement Park Example
    34:53 – Why Age Bias Misleads Us
    38:18 – The S.I.P. Method Explained
    42:12 – Rethinking Respect & Defiance
    44:40 – Parenting Is a Relationship
    46:22 – Closing Thoughts & Resources


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    The PedsDocTalk Podcast: Child Health, Development & Parenting—From a Pediatrician MomBy Dr. Mona Amin

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