Black Girl Burnout

By Kelley Bonner

Black Girl Burnout is a podcast about burnout, ambition, care, and what it actually takes to build a life that feels good to live—not just impressive from the outside.

Hosted by Kelley

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4.7

689689 ratings

FAQs about Black Girl Burnout:

How many episodes does Black Girl Burnout have?

The podcast currently has 512 episodes available.

Best of Black Girl Burnout

The most played episodes among Podcast App listeners.

Number 1: You Don't Have to Go to War
Kelley names three wars she believes so many Black women are fighting right now, wars we've been mislabeling as something else entirely. In this solo episode, she unpacks the war with ourselves (that we call self-improvement), the war with our community (that we call accountability), and the war with the world (that we call activism), and makes the case for stepping out of all three and choosing peace instead.Key TakeawaysThe war with yourself often gets mislabeled as self-improvement. Urgency, self-punishment, and arbitrary deadlines aren't growth, they're just a fight with yourself in disguise.The war with community often gets mislabeled as accountability. There's a real difference between holding someone accountable and piling on. Call people in before you cut them off, and hold boundaries with love, not cruelty.The war with the world often gets mislabeled as activism. Anger alone isn't activism. Real change comes from being steady and grounded, not embattled.You can't fight three wars at once and survive it. Noticing which battle you're actually in is the first step to choosing peace instead.Episode Highlights & Timestamps03:00 The first war: mistaking self-punishment for self-improvement 07:00 The second war: when accountability turns into pile-on culture and cruelty 14:00 Calling people in instead of cutting them off, and holding boundaries with love 16:00 The third war: confusing anger with activism 18:00 Three questions to ask yourself before you go to warGentle InvitationThis week, notice which war you're in, with yourself, with your community, or with the world. Ask yourself: is this actually a battle I need to be in, or one I wandered into? You don't have to win it today. Just notice it's there.Support the ShowIf you'd like to make a one-time gift in honor of this milestone and support the continued work of Black Girl Burnout, you can donate through Ko-fi at ko-fi.com/blackgirlburnout. Like, follow, and subscribe across all platforms. Find us @blackgirlburnout. Subscribe to our newsletter at blackgirlburnout.com. Watch on YouTube. Drop a review, your words make a real difference, and they warm Kelley's whole heart every single time.Stay in TouchJoin our Substack family for weekly reflections, tools, and behind-the-scenes notes from Kelley. Become a paid subscriber ($8/month) for exclusive resources and monthly workshops.Our SponsorsSavvy Ladies Free Financial Helpline: https://www.savvyladies.org/ Advertising Inquiries: RedCircle | Privacy & Opt-Out: RedCircle Advertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brands Privacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy
September 09, 202626min
Number 2: Before You "Lock In", Check In
It's September, and Kelley wants you to pause before you "lock in." This solo episode challenges lock-in culture, the cultural pressure to suddenly get disciplined, finish the year strong, and fix your whole life in three months. Kelley shares her own cautionary tale of what years of pushing through cost her health, then walks through a gentler four-step framework for having real goals without declaring war on yourself.Key TakeawaysLock-in syndrome sounds motivating, but it usually runs on shame, the assumption that you're behind, undisciplined, or broken and need to be fixed by December 31st.September 1st isn't magic. There's nothing wrong with ambition, but arbitrary deadlines and 75-day challenges often create false urgency instead of real progress.Sometimes the most honest answer isn't to lock in harder, it's to ask whether you even need to optimize right now, or whether you just need to rest.The Gentle Lock-In Framework has four steps: check in, use discernment, choose, and gently commit.Episode Highlights & Timestamps02:00 What lock-in syndrome is, and the real cost of ignoring how you actually feel 05:00 Kelley's own cautionary tale: what years of "locking in" cost her health 12:00 Do you even need to optimize? Toxic self-care vs. toxic self-improvement 16:00 Redefining "locking in": the four-step gentle framework 19:00 What Kelley's own lock-in looks like this season (a "75 extra soft")Gentle InvitationBefore you set any goals this month, stop and ask yourself: how am I actually doing? Not what you should be doing, not what everyone else is doing, but what's actually true in your body, your mind, and your spirit right now. Choose one thing, a few things, or nothing at all. And whatever you choose, commit to it gently.Support the ShowIf you'd like to make a one-time gift in honor of this milestone and support the continued work of Black Girl Burnout, you can donate through Ko-fi at ko-fi.com/blackgirlburnout. Like, follow, and subscribe across all platforms. Find us @blackgirlburnout. Subscribe to our newsletter at blackgirlburnout.com. Watch on YouTube. Drop a review, your words make a real difference, and they warm Kelley's whole heart every single time.Stay in TouchJoin our Substack family for weekly reflections, tools, and behind-the-scenes notes from Kelley. Become a paid subscriber ($8/month) for exclusive resources and monthly workshops.Our SponsorsSavvy Ladies Free Financial Helpline: https://www.savvyladies.org/ Advertising Inquiries: RedCircle | Privacy & Opt-Out: RedCircle Advertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brands Privacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy
September 02, 202627min
Number 3: What Self Abandonment Costs Us
Kelley tells the story of a surgery that went wrong, and the email from her job that made her realize she'd been doing her life wrong: "So when are you coming back?" In this solo episode, she unpacks what self-abandonment gave her, what it cost her, and how it doesn't just harm you individually, it changes how we relate to each other too. She closes with a three-step practice for staying open instead of closing off.Key TakeawaysSelf-abandonment can work for a while, it makes you look dependable, gets you opportunities, even more money. But the bill always comes due, sometimes as burnout, sometimes as a health crisis.Ambition isn't the problem. The problem is leaving yourself behind while chasing it.Self-abandonment doesn't just cost you individually, it costs community too. Depleted, distrustful work environments teach us to be suspicious of each other, even other Black women who genuinely like each other.When jealousy or comparison shows up, get curious instead of combative. Ask what you actually want, and how you can move differently, not how to take it from someone else.Episode Highlights & Timestamps00:00 The surgery that went wrong, and the email that changed everything, "So when are you coming back?" 04:00 What self-abandonment actually looked like day to day 09:00 What self-abandonment cost Kelley, individually, health-wise, and long-term 11:00 How depleted work environments teach Black women to distrust each other 14:00 A three-step practice for staying open: sit with it, get curious, ask "how can I get what they got?"Gentle InvitationThis week, notice one place you might be abandoning yourself for a short-term win. Ask yourself: how can I keep my hand open without handing myself over?Support the ShowIf you'd like to make a one-time gift in honor of this milestone and support the continued work of Black Girl Burnout, you can donate through Ko-fi at ko-fi.com/blackgirlburnout. Like, follow, and subscribe across all platforms. Find us @blackgirlburnout. Subscribe to our newsletter at blackgirlburnout.com. Watch on YouTube. Drop a review, your words make a real difference, and they warm Kelley's whole heart every single time.Stay in TouchJoin our Substack family for weekly reflections, tools, and behind-the-scenes notes from Kelley. Become a paid subscriber ($8/month) for exclusive resources and monthly workshops.Our SponsorsSavvy Ladies Free Financial Helpline: https://www.savvyladies.org/ Advertising Inquiries: RedCircle | Privacy & Opt-Out: RedCircle Advertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brands Privacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy
September 23, 202622min
Number 4: Chloe Nwangwu, Brand Scientist: Curiosity, Curation, and Confidence
Kelley sits down with N. Chloé Nwangwu, keynote speaker, principal investigator at Nobiworks, and known as The Brand Scientist, for a conversation about the real difference between going viral and being truly visible. Chloé breaks down two decades of research into the science of visibility, from her early career in international conflict mediation to the framework she now teaches leaders, brands, and Black women specifically on how recognition actually works, and why the usual advice to "just show up more" isn't enough.Key TakeawaysRecognition is the invisible currency of influence. Without it, you don't have access to shaping the beliefs, judgments, and decisions of the people around you.Being seen isn't the same as being remembered, and being remembered isn't the same as being recognized. Chloé's "Three Rs of Visibility", represented, remembered, recognized, explain why some ideas stick and others get filtered out.Visibility bias creates a real invisibility tax. The "reciprocity gap" means under-recognized people often have to give more and get less back for the same effort as their peers.Lasting visibility isn't luck, it's an ecosystem. Building a platform, a real "circle of recognition" (not just a follower count), and decision architecture is what actually moves people.Episode Highlights & Timestamps05:00 From conflict mediation to Brand Scientist: the through-line Chloé didn't see coming 14:00 Recognition as the invisible currency of influence: who gets the seat at the table, and why 18:00 The Three Rs of Visibility: represented, remembered, recognized 32:00 Under-recognition, visibility bias, and the invisibility tax 43:00 Building an ecosystem of influence: platform, circle of recognition, and decision architectureGentle InvitationThis week, notice one input you let into your life on autopilot, a feed, a follow, an opinion you didn't choose. Ask yourself: who does this benefit? Do I want to play along? Choose one small act of curation. Unfollow one account, mute one feed, protect one hour. Not everything. Just one thing.Connect with Chloé NwangwuFind Chloé on LinkedIn, where she shares her nerdiest, most in-depth work She also offers a free recognition assessment that tells you where you stand and gives you your next best stepSupport the ShowIf you'd like to make a one-time gift in honor of this milestone and support the continued work of Black Girl Burnout, you can donate through Ko-fi at ko-fi.com/blackgirlburnout. Like, follow, and subscribe across all platforms. Find us @blackgirlburnout. Subscribe to our newsletter at blackgirlburnout.com. Watch on YouTube. Drop a review, your words make a real difference, and they warm Kelley's whole heart every single time.Stay in TouchJoin our Substack family for weekly reflections, tools, and behind-the-scenes notes from Kelley. Become a paid subscriber ($8/month) for exclusive resources and monthly workshops.Our SponsorsSavvy Ladies Free Financial Helpline: https://www.savvyladies.org/ Advertising Inquiries: RedCircle | Privacy & Opt-Out: RedCircle Advertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brands Privacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy
August 25, 20261h 10min
Number 5: Stop Waiting for Your Life to Begin: Why Permission Is More Powerful Than Productivity
We're on hiatus, but Kelley couldn't let August start without checking in. In this solo episode, she talks about why this month feels less about goal-crushing and more about giving herself permission, to have fun, to earn what she's worth, and to be brave, vulnerable, and visible. From booking concert tickets before she "earned" them to rehabbing the Substack membership, this is a conversation about scheduling joy instead of waiting for it, and about what's coming next for Black Girl Burnout.Key TakeawaysWaiting for permission is its own kind of emotional death sentence. So many of us live in an invisible waiting room, we've done the courses, read the books, listened to the podcasts, but still wait for the "right time" to actually live differently.Joy is scheduled, not earned. Kelley bought concert tickets to see Olivia Dean months in advance as a reminder that delight doesn't have to be a reward for finishing a task, it can be planned for.Worthiness shows up in money and visibility too. Giving yourself permission isn't just emotional, it's charging what you're worth, unlearning inherited scarcity stories, and being willing to be seen.Episode Highlights & Timestamps00:00:00 -Welcome back: why Kelley couldn't let August start without a hiatus check-in 02:00 - The invisible waiting room: why so many of us know what to do but haven't stepped through the door 05:19 - Permission #1: More fun: scheduling joy on purpose (hello, Olivia Dean tickets) instead of waiting for it to drop in your lap 08:04 - Permission #2: More money: worthiness, unlearning scarcity stories, and separating guilt from what you charge 11:04 - Permission #3: Bravery, vulnerability & visibility: showing up more on social, and what's coming with the Substack membership rehab and the first digital magazine 15:07 - The bigger invitation: what could August become if you stopped waiting and started participating in your own life? 17:30 - Outro: catalog picks to revisit on hiatus, including the Michelle Young, Sonia Renee Taylor, and Morgan Harper Nichols interviewsGentle InvitationThis week, notice where you're waiting for permission you could just give yourself. What are you telling yourself you'll do "when", when you lose the weight, when you have more money, when someone else validates the idea? What would it look like to do it now, in one small way? Choose one micro-permission. Not ten. Just one. Schedule the joy, send the pitch, post the thing. Let that be enough for now.Support the ShowIf you'd like to make a one-time gift in honor of this milestone and support the continued work of Black Girl Burnout, you can donate through Ko-fi at ko-fi.com/blackgirlburnout. Thank you for being part of this community. Like, follow, and subscribe across all platforms. Find us @blackgirlburnout. Subscribe to our newsletter at blackgirlburnout.com. Watch on YouTube. Drop a review, your words make a real difference, and they warm Kelley's whole heart every single time.Stay in TouchJoin our Substack family for weekly reflections, tools, and behind-the-scenes notes from Kelley, including a first look at the digital magazine and the rehabbed membership community. Become a paid Substack subscriber ($8/month, the cost of a latte!) for exclusive resources to support your burnout-free life.Our SponsorsSavvy Ladies Free Financial Helpline: https://www.savvyladies.org/ Advertising Inquiries: RedCircle | Privacy & Opt-Out: RedCircle Advertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brands Privacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy
August 05, 202620min