Tim’s son Alfie—Grade 4’s newest wordsmith—has penned the most iconic thank-you letter to the parents who spruced up the school toilets. He compares the upgraded bathroom experience to walking a red carpet (which he’s been on many, thanks to Dad's job), but says this one felt special… because he actually deserved it. And the pièce de résistance? His pee finally smells like something. Move over Shakespeare, Alfie 4B has arrived!

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