EPISODE DESCRIPTION:

Need a way to better navigate even the most challenging conversations? 

Over time, I've learned that making a request of someone can go south quickly when you don't know how to set it up properly. In this "from-the-vault" episode from my 2021 archives (perfect for our summer slowdown while I recharge between recording sessions), I share one of my absolute favorite communication frameworks that you can learn in 30 minutes and start using within hours.

The SURF technique—known in traditional CRAFT terminology as "positive communication" provides a practical conversation framework for those moments when you need to make a request of your child, especially during tense or emotionally charged situations. Whether you're asking them to apply for jobs, respect curfew, follow through on treatment commitments, or just empty the dishwasher, this approach helps you move from power struggles to problem-solving...together.

If you're the type of parent who can solve any problem or crisis but feels completely powerless when your child yells back at you or slams the door on you mid-sentence, this episode is for you. 

I'll break down each element of the SURF framework with real examples, plus I give you five concrete tips for implementation that acknowledge the messy reality of family life.

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