The truth was too shameful, and the feelings were too painful. So, Mark and Marti locked up their teenage secret in a box never to be opened. But as Christ so lovingly does, he has been gently opening the box and letting his light in. The effect has been beauty and healing in the most unlikely place. In this episode of Breaking Bread, Mark and Marti Teubel share their post-abortion story.

Show notes:

• Post-abortive care includes caring for the living victims of abortion – Mom and Dad.

• Many moms and dads carry the wounds of loss, regret and shame for decades after their abortion.

• The unique pain that moms and dads carry is the hindered ability to grieve loss and heartache in their families. They erroneously tell themselves, "I can't grieve this loss because I caused that loss." Or "This pain is retribution for my actions."

• Abortion influences how moms and dads parent. They desperately want to prove that they are "good" parents.

• Good post-abortive care is available. Deeper Still is one such resource.

• • Deeper Still | find freedom from your abortion wounded heart

• Learn more about the Haven Retreat mentioned in the podcast at the link below.

• • Home | HAVEN Retreats

When Jesus stooped to embrace the children, it was quite shocking to his disciples. That Jesus would give his precious time to this subgroup was quite remarkable. And then he said the unthinkable... "you must become as these." By this statement, Jesus was saying that we should not only stop and acknowledge the children, but moreover, look up to them! Esteem them as God image-bearers that have a lot to teach us adults. In this episode of Breaking Bread, Amy Mammadov and Brian Sutter teach us what these little ones can teach us.

Show notes:

Children have a lot to teach us.

• Where adults can become ridged, children remain flexible - teaching us to "let go."

• Where adults can become high maintenance, children remain bless-able - teaching us how to receive blessings.

• Where adults can be pretentious, children remain genuine - teaching us how to live honestly in the world.

• Where adults emphasize usefulness, children emphasize enjoyment - teaching us how to live joyfully.

• Where adults have an eye toward "doing", children have an eye toward "being" - teaching us how we should view ourselves.

Play lies at the center of life for a child, and it should. In this episode of Breaking Bread, Amy Mammadov, a speech language pathologist, along with Brian Sutter, shine light on this important aspect of human growth and development. Additionally, parents should encourage, teach, evaluate and share in the enjoyment of play with our children.

Show notes:

Encourage Play:

• Play is critical in the development of language, thought and human relations.

Teach Play:

• The norms and technology of the day have stunted play. Some children need to be taught how to play.

Evaluate Play:

• Not all play is equal. Many toys and forms of amusement today are adult directed play. Child directed play, on the other hand, provides rich areas of growth and potential.

Utilize Play:

• Playing with your child gives you insights into where they are developmentally and provides an opportunity to model healthy reasoning.

Share in the enjoyment of play:

• Shared enjoyment is key. If play is anything at all, it is fun. Parents are encouraged to connect with their children at the level of shared fun.

Exploration is a prerequisite to having a settled identity. For parents with kids unsettled and exploring, this can be a frightening time. What role do we play in the exploration process? In this episode of Breaking Bread, Kathy Knochel and Brian Sutter will help us sort it out.

Show notes:

Identity:

• Is the sense of self – Who I am and who I am not.

Identity Formation:

• Starts with exploration and ends with commitment.

• Exploration is trying, investigating, experiencing, researching.

• Commitment is being settled, resolved and grounded.

Identity Culture in "the west":

• It is constructed individually. This means that the community has a limited influence on placing an identity on an individual. Rather, the individual has the ownness of discovering and embracing their identity.

Challenge:

• Our young people are saddled with the task of sorting out their identity for themselves.

Angst:

• Watching young people explore their identity.

Opportunity:

• Support and guide exploration in community.

• As possible, try not to rigidly force closure on those in the exploration phase. Rather, have dialogue that prompts healthy exploration. Thoughtful open-ended questions, and critical thinking prompts are necessary to guide wise investigation.

• Have patience in the process with a goal to maintain relationship.

Fear:

• Suppose an unwise identity is chosen?

• Remember: Where there is life, there is experience. Where there is experience, there is exploration. Where there is exploration, there is hope yet for a good commitment.

We all know that the body is made up of different members. Members one of another. The hand needs the foot. The eye needs the ear. But even more profound than these examples is the uncommon humility that my non-dominate left hand has with my dominate right. Similar in frame and made to do everything the right hand can… it performs well, but not as well. Yet it serves my body selflessly and without dissention. In this podcast we will listen and learn from our non-dominate hands a lesson on cooperation and being a member one of another.

An Imagined Interview with my Left Hand:

Me: When did you learn that I was going to be what they call "right-handed?" Left-hand: I learned this early. I noticed you were using the right hand to lead and do the more sensitive tasks.

Me: Do you compare yourself with the right? Left-hand: I don't. My right hand does his job so well, and I'm glad. I do my job well.

Me: What do you understand your job to be? Left-hand: My job is to be a good left-hand complement to the right-hand.

Me: How do you understand your relationship to be with the right-hand? Left-hand: I don't see myself separate from my right-hand. We are of the same body. Everything we do separately or together comes from you and is for you. You get the credit for anything we do, and you should.

Me: Do you get jealous of the right hand? Left-hand: No, not at all. I know you are pleased with me and that's all that matters.

The Christian life has music interwoven into its fabric. We use it to worship God. We are instructed to sing. It should not be surprising then to learn that music has the potential to benefit the mind and emotion. In this episode, music therapist Nick Lanz gives us tips on how to use music therapeutically.

Show notes:

Music Therapy: The clinical & evidence-based use of music interventions to accomplish individualized goals within a therapeutic relationship by a credentialed professional who has completed an approved music therapy program.

What do music therapists do?​

• Assess emotional well-being, physical health, social functioning, communication abilities, and cognitive skills through musical responses.

• Design music sessions for individuals and groups based on client needs using various musical interventions.

• Participate in interdisciplinary treatment planning, ongoing evaluation, and follow up.​

Music therapy interventions for mental health can address a variety of healthcare & educational goals:

• Develop healthy coping skills

• Identify/express/explore emotions

• Process trauma

• Improve depressive symptoms

• Decrease anxiety/agitation

• Promote relaxation

• Promote positive thinking/self-esteem

• Develop sense of belonging/community

• Promote positive social interaction/group cohesion

• Address loneliness, grief, loss and stigma that persist despite treatment

• Develop independence/decision-making skills

• Manage stress

• Promote wellness

"Music therapists use music to accomplish non-musical goals."

There are four main approaches:

• Receptive

• • Music listening

  • Song discussion/lyric analysis

  • Music-assisted relaxation/progressive muscle relaxation

• • • Can also include music for sleep

• • Movement & music

  • Bonny Method of Guided Imagery & Music (requires post-graduate training)

• Re-creative

• • Instrument instruction

  • Instrument playing

  • Sing-along

• • Recording sessions

• Compositional

• • Therapeutic songwriting (multiple methods)

• Improvisational

• • Instrumental/vocal improvisation

  • Drum circle/instrumental circle (groups)

The question before every human being is not if they have pain, but rather, what they do with the pain that they have. Some people make peace with their pain. Unfortunately, many do not. In this Breaking Bread two-part series, Brian Sutter and Kaleb Beyer help us understand what making peace with pain means, why it is important and how to do it.

Show notes:

What does making peace with pain mean?

Answer: Making peace with pain happens when we change our relationship with pain. Instead of orbiting the pain, we are freed from the unhealthy attachment we have with it. While pain may remain, we are able to live with it as a part of our story but it does not govern our identity. Pain has its proper effect on our lives - not too much, yet not ignored.

Why is making peace with pain important?

Answer: Pain unattended has a tendency to generate unhealthy attachments in our lives. We orbit closely to the pain. Some will try to soothe the pain by unhealthy means. Others will over identify with the pain. Still others will expend tremendous energies to change circumstances to make the pain go away. As a result, we become less responsive to our present lives because pain management requires so much attention. We don't live well now.

How do we know if there is pain in our lives for which peace needs to be made?

Answer: If we have a past relationship with our pain and not a present relationship we may need to make peace with pain. This can be seen in our response to present circumstances. For example, if we react to present circumstances inappropriately, our past pain may be speaking.

How do we make peace with pain?

Answer: We make peace with pain by first understanding that God is present with us in our pain. We are not alone. Alowing yourself to sit with God in your pain is a healthy exercise. Next, acceptance will need to be practiced. Acceptance is letting go of circumstances that are not and will not be. It includes a trust that God loves you, is good and sees a wider expanse. For some pain, forgiveness will need to be extended to the offending parties.

The question before every human being is not if they have pain, but rather, what they do with the pain that they have. Some people make peace with their pain. Unfortunately, many do not. In this Breaking Bread two-part series, Brian Sutter and Kaleb Beyer help us understand what making peace with pain means, why it is important and how to do it.

One of the pains of parenting is watching your children make poor choices. What should we do when there is not much we can do? In this episode of Breaking Bread, Brian Sutter and Craig Stickling speak to the do's and don'ts of parenting through these challenges.

Show Notes:

So your child made the wrong decision. Remember this Mom and Dad:

• Hang in there with them.

• Protect your relationship with them.

• Have a posture of grace with them.

• Be learners together.

• Allow natural consequences to teach.

• Help them learn from their decisions.

• Speak truth in love.

• Don't over personalize their decision.

• Lean on the larger community to speak truth into their life.

• Give it time.

• Trust in prayer.

Spiritual disciplines are ancient. Yet they are growing in popularity with our contemporary Christian culture. What are common cautions that should accompany our wise application of spiritual disciplines? In this episode of Breaking Bread, Isaac Funk helps us understand four cautions: legalism, agency, syncretism and mysticism.

Spiritual disciplines are those practices we habitually do in the body that form us into Christlikeness. Reading the Word, silence, solitude, fasting, tithing, fellowship are just a few of many. Many spiritual disciplines are classic. Practices employed by Christ and faithful believers for thousands of years.

Understanding the "shadow" of a thing is important for wise and healthy use. We want to have this circumspect understanding of spiritual disciplines. Without it, we can fall into ditches that are unhelpful. Consider four trappings to be thoughtful about.

• Legalism: Legalism is an unhealthy relationship with performance. At its worst, dependence on performance erroneously replaces faith in Christ.
  • We need to remember the following…
    • Spiritual disciplines are not our morality.
    • Spiritual disciplines are not our performance.
    • Spiritual disciplines are not our forgiveness.
    • Spiritual disciplines do not secure merit with God.
• Agency: When employing spiritual disciplines, we can become confused with who is at the source of the effort. Is it us? Is it God?
  • We need to remember the following:
    • We do not control our spiritual growth; rather we make ourselves available to God through the practices to be formed by him.
    • God is the first source behind any practice.
• Syncretism: Syncretism is the blending or merging of different religious beliefs and practices. Many different religious faiths, as well as atheism, share bodily practices that on the outside look the same.
  • We need to remember the following:
    • Many bodily disciplines will benefit human beings regardless of walk of life or religious beliefs. However, these are not uniquely Christian unless we are employing them to grow in Christ likeness.
• Mysticism: By mysticism, we mean experiencing God in ways that transcend ordinary sensory perception and intellectual understanding. If applied unhealthily, the believer can develop errant ideas about God that are steeped in individual experience.
  • We need to remember the following:
    • Our discipleship experience with God should never contradict the Bible.
    • Be accountable to the larger Christian community. Include other people in your discipleship journey with Christ.