Breaking the Grip - Finding Faith and Freedom from Toxic People

Join me as we dive into the 3 signs God is removing toxic people from your life

FREE Toxic People Survival Guide
https://krisreece.com/toxic-people-survival-guide

Conquering Codependency Biblically Online Course
https://krisreece.com/conquering-codependency/

Join me today as we give you the clarity you're craving by revealing the 5 Signs God is Protecting You from a Narcissist.

FREE Toxic People Survival Guide
https://krisreece.com/toxic-people-survival-guide

Conquering Codependency Biblically Online Course
https://krisreece.com/conquering-codependency/

Be sure to grab a copy of your FREE Toxic People Survival Guide to learn how to identity and deal with all the difficult people in your life.  Grab your guide here.  https://krisreece.com/toxic-people-survival-guide

Do you feel like the magical connection you once had with the narcissist now feels more like a death grip? 

 You, my friend, have likely fallen prey to the narcissist’s deceptive new-age belief that is making Christians everywhere vulnerable to manipulative people— that there is a pre-destined soulmate out there who will complete you. 

I want to share with you why this new-age belief that you once thought was romantic and biblical is actuallyleading you down a path you may never recover from. 

 I also want to share with you the shocking reasons why the narcissist NEEDS you to believe this, plus how to recover if you've already fallen into this trap.  

 To do that, I want to tell you about Eli. 

 Eli was a talented potter who lived in a quaint village nestled at the edge of a lush forest. Eli was known all over the world for his exquisite pottery, each piece more beautiful than the last. However, Eli had a secret: he claimed a mystical clay from the forest was the source of his pottery’s beauty.  

He spoke of a legend, a tale of "The Perfect Clay," a material so pure and adaptable that only the most deserving artisans, destined by the stars, could find and use it. 

Intrigued by the promise of creating pottery as beautiful as Eli's, many villagers ventured into the forest, hoping to be the chosen ones to find "The Perfect Clay." Eli encouraged them, saying that only those with a true potter's soul, bound by destiny to the craft, would succeed. Yet, the forest was vast and the search endless. Many villagers became so obsessed with finding the mythical clay that they neglected their own craft, waiting for a destiny that never materialized. 

Meanwhile, back in the village, Eli continued to produce his pottery, not from mystical clay, but from the same earth as everyone else.  

His true talent lay in his skill and dedication, honed over years of practice—NOT in a magical ingredient. The villagers, lost in the pursuit of an illusory perfection, failed to realize that the beauty of pottery—and indeed, life—lies in the passion and effort, not some magical formula. 

Your narcissist is likely just like Eli, but instead of the perfect pottery, they're in search of the perfect partner. 

In fact, this new-age belief that there is a perfect, predestined partner is likely what wooed you in the beginning but is now leaving you feeling inadequate and constantly striving for their approval. 

Yes, narcissists believe in soulmates.And I'm going to share why.But I also want to share why you shouldn't.  

Soulmates are based on thebelief that you are 'complete' once you find that ONE perfect person created just for you. 

Believing that there's that one ideal individual that was created to complete you may sound romantic in movies, but it flies in the face of Colossians 2:10 that says, “You are complete in Christ.”

So, my friend, if there is no cosmic connection in the universe that is pulling you toward another person and if the work of the cross is already finished for you, why do narcissists need to believe in soulmates?  

Let's break down three primary reasons. 

Reason #1: It guarantees lasting admiration 

Narcissists are addicted to admiration, much like a plant basking in the sun's rays. It's a need. 

This insatiable hunger for external validation fuels their s

FREE Toxic People Survival Guide
https://krisreece.com/toxic-people-survival-guide

Conquering Codependency Biblically Online Course
https://krisreece.com/conquering-codependency/

Sometimes people-pleasing can keep you in the toxic relationships longer than you'd like. To find out what type of people pleaser you are, be sure to take the FREE quiz below. Am I a People Pleaser Quiz?  Discover Your Type
https://krisreece.com/am-i-a-people-pleaser/

Have you ever read the NTV Bible?

 No I'm not referring to the KJV, NIV, or my all time favorite--the ESV.

 I'm talking about the NTV--the narcissist twisted version. The one where they take God's truth and distort it beyond recognition to suit their narrative. The one that leaves you feeling dazed and confused. 

 In any version of the bible, you will find the inerrant truth of God's word. But what happens if you're being fed a distorted version?

 If you've been living with a narcissist who loves to quote scripture to you, you've like been fed the NTV--the narcissist version of the truth.

 So which one do you believe?

 My hope is to help you stop the manipulation.

 That’s why I’m going to breakdown the four scriptures narcissists just can’t resist twisting, their main motivator when using these scriptures, and the foolproof benchmark to ensure you are never manipulated again by misused scripture.

 The narcissist’s misuse of scripture is like a chef twisting a classic pasta recipe into some distorted version for their own gain.

 Maybe instead of the regular ingredients, he decides to add a few extra that he's got lying around, a few that are about to expire, and maybe even an idea that he'd like to try—at your expense. And I'm not talking about complementary ingredients. I'm talking about ingredients that don't belong and completely distort the dish. Like peanut butter in lasagna.

The foundational elements are there but the finished dish is distorted beyond recognition. It's no longer appetizing. It’s food, but it's not what it was intended to be. In fact, it's repulsive.

 The same is true for the narcissist’s use of scripture. They don’t use scripture for it’s intended purpose but rather to serve their own selfish agenda, leaving those who are feeding off of their mess, confused and malnourished.

So why do narcissists twist scripture?  

The truth is, they can't resist. Scripture is a weapon for them to use against you. Satan did it to Jesus in the wilderness when he twisted three scriptures to try and get him to back off from his ultimate mission—the cross.

While the Word of God is a powerful weapon, much like that recipe, the narcissist turns that weapon into a weapon of manipulative destruction.

In fact there are four driving forces behind the narcissists craving for scripture:

1.     Get you to do something for them

2.     Get you to stop doing something to them

3.     Get you to believe their lies

4.     Get you to assume the blame

It really is that simple.

Their motive has always been and likely will always be self-focus—self-protection and self-preservation.

They actually don’t care if you’re following biblical principles. They don’t care if you’re honoring God in who you are and what you do. They only care how your actions impact them.

Scripture is only used to their benefit NOT yours.

In other words, trusting a narcissist to use scripture properly is likely hiring a wolf to guard the sheep.

So what are the scriptures that they LOVE to manipulate you with?

Twisted scripture #1

I know you've heard this one before. You've likely had it thrown in your face every time you raise an issue. It's tossed about every single time they don't want to face the consequences for their actions.&n

If you want to learn how to identify and deal with all the difficult people in your life, be sure to grab a copy of my Toxic People Survival Guide
https://krisreece.com/toxic-people-survival-guide

Does it seem like the narcissist in your life just skates by and gets away with their manipulative, destructive behavior, almost like they're somehow immune to justice?

Today, I want to give you the clarity you're craving about why God's justice might seem a little slow, and EXACTLY how God deals with issues of pride, manipulation, and deceit.

 My friend, stick with me, because by the end of our time today, your wavering faith WILL be strengthened.

 There's a character in the bible that always reminds me of God's justice. Perhaps you know her from the books of 1 and 2 Kings. She was a Phoenician princess who was the wife of Ahab, king of Israel. And her name was Jezebel.

 Jezebel was a spiteful, wicked, manipulative, malicious woman who presented as charming and attractive, and who at times played victim.

 Sound like anyone you know?

 Narcissists are notorious for putting on the performance of being everything you need. But beneath the surface, they are self-centered, immature, entitled brats who will stop at nothing to get what they want.  

 Jezebel was infamously known for promoting the worship of Baal, a Canaanite deity, in Israel, directly opposing the worship of God. She was also famous for her role in the persecution of the prophets of God, including the murder of Naboth, simply because her husband wanted his vineyard.

 In our lives, she's the mother who seems to get away with her constant abuse. She's the woman at the office who has the boss fooled into thinking she’s a team player. 

 But SHE doesn't need to be a SHE. 

 This Jezebel behavior is no respecter of genders. In fact, there are some predictable patterns that I want you to start looking out for--patterns you might otherwise miss if you're focused on the fear and frustration.  

 For starters: God will not tolerate idolatry and falsehood.

 Jezebel's promotion of Baal worship and her attempts to suppress the worship of God represent the pinnacle of how the narcissist operates. 

 Like Jezebel, narcissists create false images and exalt themselves at the expense of others  

God hates idol worship. Let's go back to Exodus 20. It says, ’You shall have no other gods before me.’ 

 The narcissist’s carved image is their mirror, because narcissists worship themselves. They exalt themselves and anything they desire above God.  

 Don't be fooled my friend, they're not content with just worshipping themselves. They need YOU to worship them too.

 Do you ever wonder why things always go south when you raise an issue or express a concern or a dislike about them? Their ego is as fragile as that mirror.  

 And just like God warned the people of Israel in Deuteronomy 6 not to follow other gods, just like He also sent warnings to Jezebel, He will also send warnings to the narcissist.  

 You can always expect God to be merciful and give us chance after chance.

 In His next phase, God will send warnings.

 Jezebel’s fate didn’t have to end the way it did. 

 Narcissists (and all of us for that matter) are given chance after chance, warning after warning to turn from our ways.    

 How many times did God have to tug on your heart before you answered the call?  

If we heed those warnings, it can lead to repentance and restoration.

If we ignore them, we head for destruction, full steam ahead.

And that's exactly what He did for Jezebel. Elijah and other prophets were sent to stand up to her

Resources mentioned in this podcast:

 FREE Toxic People Survival Guide
https://krisreece.com/toxic-people-survival-guide

Conquering Codependency Biblically Online Course
https://krisreece.com/conquering-codependency/

Master Powerful Tactics to Gain Control When Triggered into a Toxic Argument https://krisreece.com/live-workshop/

Am I a People Pleaser Quiz?  Discover Your Type.
https://krisreece.com/am-i-a-people-pleaser/

Want to learn how to identify and deal with all the difficult people in your life?  Be sure to grab your FREE Toxic People Survival Guide
https://krisreece.com/toxic-people-survival-guide

Being in a marriage with a narcissist can leave you feeling like you've got only two choices: resign yourself to a life of misery or pack your bags and leave.

Before you make a decision that will change your life forever, I want to talk to you about three categories to consider when contemplating a divorce from a narcissistic spouse.

With a multitude of twisted scriptures, it can be difficult to determine the most biblical action for your situation. So by the end of our time together, my hope is that you will have greater peace in understanding God's will for your situation, and that you will have an answer the question that I get asked more than any other question--will God let me leave my narcissistic spouse?

To do that we need to address three categories: the justified, the baseless, and the plausible.  

The first category is going to be the most important to dive into but be careful not to automatically assume that you fall into this category, as most don't.

Category #1: the Justified  

These are the people who have a justifiable reason to leave the marriage.

The first justification is found in Matthew 19:9 where it states that we shouldn't divorce except in cases of infidelity. So, the first justified reason is when there is betrayal in the marriage.

Infidelity is a justification for divorce.  You’re not in the wrong.  You’re not sinning against God.  You’re free to leave.  You don’t have to, but you’re free to.   

Within the church, that's where you'll find that justification stops—no infidelity, no recourse. But infidelity isn't the only time where God allows for divorce.  

The next is abandonment.1 Corinthians 7:15 states, But if the unbelieving partner separates, let it be so. In such cases the brother or sister is not enslaved. God has called you[b] to peace.

Yet another reason is neglect or abuse. Narcissistic relationships are defined by the selfishness of one partner at the expense of the other. So instead of using scriptures like "God hates divorce" as a weapon, perhaps we should acknowledge how much God hates abuse. In fact, that scripture "God hates divorce" was written because the men were abusing their roles and discarding their wives at will.  

So let's talk about this justification of abuse.  Abuse can be defined as extreme danger or harm; physically, mentally or emotionally.  

To tell a victim of abuse that he/she needs to stay and suffer further abuse is further victimizing the innocent.  

Some may say that "no divorce" is a hard and fast rule in scripture. And I agree that it should not be abused, but we also find in scripture where there are many cases where the 'rules' are broken: 

·      Jesus talking to the woman at the well

·      Healing on the sabbath

·      David eating the showbread

·      Instructing Ezekiel to eat unclean food

We even see Abigail going behind her husband Nebal’s back because of his destructive behavior, all to save life.  

And we have scriptures that appear to contradict themselves like, turn the other che