Applications are open through Friday, March 15th, to the Coaching for Leaders Academy. This is the fourth of five lessons on how to create meaningful movement on a leadership skill, using the same, 90-day framework used within our Academy community. Discover more and apply now.

In the last three days, you’ve heard about changing behavior by creating forward movement.

You’ve likely also heard me say a lot about personal leadership in the past. If you lead yourself first well, you get the privilege to lead others. That’s true also in our professional development. It needs to start with us.

By no means does it end there. Especially when it comes to leadership, it’s not enough for us to see movement ourselves. Other people also need to see movement happening.

You may have noticed that the first three lessons zeroed in on you. Creating your new identity. Deciding on the daily action you’ll take to get there. And then, you noticing the indicators that you’re on the right path.

All of that is important. You need that framework to start, but it’s not sufficient if you just stop there.

Of course, leadership isn’t just about you. It’s about how other people experience you. In fact, that’s a core truth as to how effective or ineffective you’re going to be in doing what leaders do…handling change.

As a result, it’s a necessity for us to get feedback and input from others who can either verify or challenge that we’re working on.

That means that as you take on a new identify, it’s important to get consistent, fast feedback from your stakeholders that you’re actually on track. And, if you’re not, the information you need to get yourself back on track.

For the 90-day commitment, this means that, as some kind of regular interval (perhaps once a week) you are seeking feedback from managers, peers, direct reports, customers, and perhaps even family members, that verifies you’re on the right track.

Getting input from others helps you align (or not) with your own indicators that you crafted in step 3.

Often, when I make the suggestion to people that they should get some kind regular feedback from colleagues or customers in this way, the first intention that people have is to ask others who they are doing.

So, in the case of my example identity from the earlier lessons, of communicating concisely in meetings, people often come back with something like this for step 4:

Once a week, I’ll ask a direct report how I’m doing at being more concise.

Don’t ask a question like that. Here’s why:

If you ask someone “How are I doing?” or the related question, “Do you have any feedback for me?” the stock answer to that question is to say “good,” or “I can’t think of anything.”

Especially if the person you are asking reports to you.

It’s highly unlikely you’re going to get real truth in response to that question. You put people in an awkward place asking. Even if that person is your manager, often they aren’t great at making value judgements on the fly.

Also, a lot of people aren’t good a giving feedback. Many times, I’ve had a client say something to me like, “My boss said I should get better at my presence in meetings, but didn’t give any kind of examples.”

For getting consistent, fast feedback in a way that’s meaningful to you, make it easy for people to answer your question. This, after all, is about fast feedback — not a long, drawn out conversation.

Make it really, really easy for people to answer the question, with little risk.

For the example I’ve been using of being more concise, I’m not doing to ask a stakeholder how I’m doing a being more concise. Instead, I might ask this:

I’m working on being more concise.