It’s the New Year and many of us are interested in changing habits. Or we think we are… Changing habits can be hard. The question might be, should we be interested in creating habits?

We have 60-70,000 thoughts a day. Unfortunately, 90% of them are the same as yesterday.

We seek habits, Atomic Habits the book by James Clear, has been at the top of the charts for over five years.

Yet, Dr Ellen Langer, author of CounterClockwise and Mother of Mindfulness, a professor at Harvard, says habits might be the worst thing we do. We’re no longer aware of our surroundings.

She isn’t talking about yoga and meditation. She was talking about being aware. By consciously focusing on noticing. What did you notice today if you drove to work? What did you notice on your walk?

We’re not mindful at all.

I’m guilty. I used to preach to university students, no ipods during class. I’d send them out on a walk or run or have them do their mile fitness test without it. Most thought that was awful. Now I often catch up on a podcast or training. When I received an ipod as a gift downloaded with hundreds of my favorite artists and began using it, I was hooked. Shortly after I realized that I was in the middle of a 6 mile run and the battery died. I stopped dead in my tracks and wondered how I’d make it home. Twenty-five years of running with nothing but my thoughts and then I can’t move without it.

Questions We Answer in this Episode:

• How changing habits is hard- [00:21:05]
• What your personality really is - [00:21:40]
• What is association vs dissociation - [00:11:40]
• Who do you need to become to have the results you want - [00:38:41]

Changing Habits is Hard Thanks to Personality

Actions start with thoughts. Our thoughts produce feelings. If we think that exercise has to be hard, then exercise becomes torture, eating differently is deprivation, or going to bed earlier is missing out.

It’s those thoughts that create feelings, feelings motivate actions.

Keep saying “that’s just me” then you’ll keep being the way you are now. That gets you the results you’ve been getting.

Vs

Adapt to the things that will get you what you want. You won’t be able to keep doing and thinking the same thing.

Take a woman who wants to lose belly fat, sleep better, and build stronger bones. If she’s accustomed to nightly cocktails, those drinks may feel like a part of her personality. Even knowing the health benefits of cutting back, she may struggle to stop because her environment and habits reinforce her behavior.

The same goes for habits like avoiding exercise, attending muscle-wasting bootcamps, or clinging to diets that give short-term wins but long-term setbacks. These habits feel safe because they’re familiar, even when they don’t work.

But you might not be motivated about changing habits because they’ve become your personality.

If it feels safe, It’s what you know.

Changing feels unsafe because it disrupts comfort zones. Internal resistance arises when automatic habits take over, like reaching for coffee without thinking or defaulting to social norms. External resistance shows up when family or friends resist your changes, making it easier to stick to old patterns.

Thoughts create feelings. Feelings drive actions. And familiar—even if it’s struggle—feels safe. Recognizing internal and external triggers is the first step to breaking free and creating the habits that align with your goals. Change starts in your mind.

The Path to Changing Habits May Not Be the One You Think

I want to leave you with two thoughts.

First, maybe changing habits isn’t the goal.

Reaching goals means not repeating what’s gotten the same results. Who do you need to be to have what you want? What messages are you telling yourself? What would someone where you want to be say?

Second, maybe it’s time to upgrade your system, like a phone or laptop.

What if you’re operating on comments from years ago—told you’re not smart, must work harder, or it’s safer to stay quiet?

What if you still believe things must be hard to earn what you want? Decades later, you say, “I’ll just work harder” instead of considering “different.” Asking, “What if it were easy?” changes everything.

What if you spoke up for what you need, skipped what doesn’t serve you, and said no unapologetically?

Just consider what you likely already know to be true about yourself. There’s a juggling act between changing habits and having a true awareness, a mindfulness in every day. What haven’t you even dreamed that could be true of this coming year for you?

Other Episodes You Might Like:

Your Best 2023 | A Free Workshop for Women:

https://www.flippingfifty.com/best-2023

From Mindless to Mindful (and Younger in Weeks):

https://www.flippingfifty.com/counterclockwise

Resources:

FREE 5 Day Start:

https://www.flippingfifty.com/5DayFlip

8 Simple High Protein Recipes:

https://www.flippingfifty.com/high-protein-recipes

C60:

https://www.flippingfifty.com/c60

Episode Sponsor:

https://www.fitnessmarketingacademy.com/menopause-fitness-specialist