Psychiatrist Amir Levine, MD, is the coauthor of the mega-bestseller Attached. In his new book, Secure, he takes another look at the four attachment styles and the myths surrounding them to show how each of us—regardless of our starting point—can flex and become more secure in our relationships. In this (delightful) conversation, he also explains why certain seemingly insignificant minor interactions (which he calls SIMIs) have an outsize effect on our brains and our intimate relationships. He offers some advice for turning down the volume on the insecure attachments in your life. And we talk about more psychological phenomena that I think will resonate with many of you—from attachment gaslighting to the protest-regret cycle.

For the show notes, head to my Substack.