Bryan’s story starts in New York, where skateboards, weed, and the raw energy of rebellion shaped his early identity. But what looked like typical teenage experimentation quickly became something others labeled as “a problem.” In the height of the 90s and early 2000s, Bryan was sent away to behavior-modification boarding programs meant to “fix” kids like him. Instead of changing him, those experiences carved in a deeper belief: something is wrong with me.

That belief followed him straight into addiction.

Oxy was the first opiate that hooked Bryan, and what came after was years of chasing a feeling he could never quite catch again. Methadone, Suboxone, cross-country moves between New York and San Diego, and eventually crack cocaine all became part of the cycle. There were moments that looked like escape, traveling through national parks, falling in love, even a trip to Italy, but the obsession to use never loosened its grip.

After a suicide attempt brought him to his lowest point, Bryan found himself back where it all began: using again.

But on April 1, 2022, something shifted.

At a long-term medical treatment facility, Bryan finally found the space, structure, and willingness that allowed recovery to take root. Today, he’s an active participant in a twelve-step program and living proof that even the longest detours can still lead you home.

This episode is about mislabeling, survival, and what happens when someone finally stops trying to fix themselves and starts learning how to live.

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Today is Part Two of our interview with NodPod member, Joey Rakisits. Joey's story is SO inspiring - he did the rounds of alllll the things dope fiend, modifying cars, getting involved in criminal activity, staying in motel rooms, basically running amok in all the ways we addicts can run amok - and now he's CLEAN! Multiple prison terms, county time, again - ALLL the things. Today we pick up Joey's story with a near fatal overdose and his ultimate journey to get to a suboxone clinic with two therapists that changed his life. Clean now since September 20, 2021, we hope you enjoy Joey's episode at much as we did!

The article about the homicide is ⁠HERE⁠

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Today's episode originally aired on August 24, 2023

Today Jeannine and Narcan Nate interview Nod Pod member, Joey Rakisits. Joey's story is SO inspiring - he did the rounds of alllll the things dope fiend, modifying cars, getting involved in criminal activity, staying in motel rooms, basically running amok in all the ways we addicts can run amok - and now he's CLEAN! Multiple prison terms, county time, again - ALLL the things. Clean now since September 20, 2021, we hope you enjoy Joey's episode at much as we did!

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**TRIGGER WARNING

**todays episode references child abuse, please take care while listening.

Today is part two of Jeannine's interview with Matthew Hahn. Matt was a career criminal whose meth addiction and history of residential burglaries earned him three strikes by the age of 18. At 25, Matt was fresh off of parole, and back in his addiction. Returning to his old methods to support his lifestyle, Matt broke into a house and stole a safe - a choice that would change his life forever. What he discovered in that safe would pose a dilemma of choosing to turn in evidence of a crime - when to do so would cost him his freedom for the rest of his life.

Part Two picks up where Part One left off, in 2005 after Matt found evidence of a heinous crime inside a safe that he had stolen from a home. Matt ultimately returns to prison and begins leaning into Buddhism as a vital part of his recovery.

Connect with Matt on IG ⁠HERE⁠

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This is encore presentation of a episode that was first released in November, 2023. All new episodes will return April 2nd, 2026.

**TRIGGER WARNING

**todays episode references child abuse, please take care while listening.

Today Jeannine interviews Matthew Hahn. Matt was a career criminal whose meth addiction and history of residential burglaries earned him three strikes by the age of 18. At 25, Matt was fresh off of parole, and back in his addiction. Returning to his old methods to support his lifestyle, Matt broke into a house and stole a safe - a choice that would change his life forever. What he discovered in that safe would pose a dilemma of choosing to turn in evidence of a crime - when to do so would cost him his freedom for the rest of his life.

Connect with Matt on TikTok

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This is an encore presentation of an episode originally released May, 2024. After today, I will be taking a short break and returning on April 2nd with all new episodes. All Patreon memberships will be paused until we return as well. Thank you!

Hey y'all! This is the ONE jail story I have yet to tell anywhere . Literally one of the craziest events of my entire life, and probably the wildest four days of my active addiction. As always though, there is purpose in the madness, and this story is no different. A few episodes ago my guest Kevin said that a "miracle" can just be a shift in perspective. I absolutely love that idea and today you and I are going to discuss the perspective shift that "rejection is protection." Typically when we are rejected for anything, or by someone, we feel it is based on our value - that we aren't "good enough." What if we can shift our belief system to believe that rejection is a good thing, and absolutely unrelated to our value? Let's talk about it! Let me know what ya'll think! DM on Instagram or email me [email protected] - love you guys!

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This week, we sit down with Bishop Snow an emerging hip hop artist whose story moves from police documentation to performance stages.

Raised between Oceanside and Long Beach, Bishop grew up surrounded by instability, gang culture, and early exposure to drugs. By 16, he was already documented by the gang suppression unit, immersed in a lifestyle that felt inevitable in his neighborhood. The streets were loud. The future felt small.

But somewhere between the chaos and the consequences, Bishop found a different outlet: music. Writing became his therapy. Recording became his refuge. Even as addiction tightened its grip and his focus on music faded, the spark never fully went out.

In 2019, Bishop made the decision to walk away from meth. Recovery didn’t just clear his mind, it reignited his discipline. With clarity came consistency. With consistency came growth. His health improved. His writing sharpened. His sound evolved.

Then fatherhood shifted everything. Becoming a dad at 21 forced Bishop to zoom out and get serious about his craft. What started as personal expression turned into professional pursuit, leading to viral moments, studio production, and now a tour kicking off next week.

This episode is about transformation in real time. It’s about trading gang files for tour dates, addiction for ambition, and survival for legacy. Bishop Snow’s story is proof that recovery doesn’t just restore what was lost. Sometimes it amplifies what was always there. 🎤🔥

Connect with Bishop on Instagram, TikTok and Spotify

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Kimmy’s story doesn’t begin with rebellion. It begins with survival.

Raised in a home where instability was the norm and addiction sat at the dinner table, Kimmy was introduced to meth at just ten years old when her own mother injected her. What followed was a childhood shaped by substance use, escalating mental health struggles, and self-harm that started in elementary school and grew alongside the chaos around her.

Just as Kimmy was preparing for college, two devastating deaths in her family shifted everything. Grief deepened her addiction, and pain fueled behaviors she didn’t yet have tools to heal.

In this episode, Kimmy shares the raw reality of growing up in trauma, navigating mental illness, and eventually making the brave move to California in search of treatment for both her mental health and substance use. After moving through multiple treatment centers, she has remained sober since December 24th, 2024, refusing to give up on herself or her healing.

This is a story about resilience, relapse risks, recovery, and the ongoing work of choosing life, clarity, and mental wellness every single day.

A reminder that sobriety isn’t just about putting down substances.
It’s about picking up hope. 🌱

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This week’s episode follows Rio, a woman whose story moves from chaos to clarity with raw honesty and hard-won hope.

Rio began using meth in high school, a path that quickly pulled her out of her parents’ home and into the control of an older woman who groomed her and introduced her to a traumatic, dangerous lifestyle. After graduating from an alternative school, Rio became a young mom, but addiction tightened its grip. She walked away from her baby and his father in pursuit of drugs, parties, and a life that only grew more volatile. What followed were years of chaos, including involvement with a motorcycle club and people who kept pushing her further into risk and destruction.

Eventually Rio entered treatment, relapsed once more, and then made the decision that changed everything, choosing sobriety for real. Today, she’s married, has regained custody of her son, is working on her degree at UCSD, and is driven by a powerful goal: to one day work with women in prison and help them find the same freedom she did.

This is a story about grooming, addiction, motherhood, relapse, resilience, and what’s possible when recovery finally sticks. 🌱

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If you or a loved one are struggling with mental health or substances, ⁠Worthy Wellness⁠can help.

Worthy Wellness Center is nestled within the charming village of Carlsbad, in North County, San Diego, less than half a mile from the tranquil local beaches. Worthy stands as a sanctuary wholly devoted to nurturing the healing and well-being of those in recovery. Committed to addressing the holistic needs of individuals navigating through life’s challenges, whether related to substance abuse, alcohol addiction, or mental and mood disorders, Worthy Wellness Center takes a comprehensive approach to healing the body, mind, and spirit.

Detox now open as well, ⁠516 Recovery⁠

516 Recovery Center transforms lives through individualized, compassionate care that rejects the “heads and beds” model of traditional treatment. Our licensed clinical team combines evidence-based therapies with holistic wellness approaches to help individuals overcome substance use disorders, mental health challenges, and co-occurring conditions in a welcoming beachside environment where personalized attention and genuine partnership drive lasting change.

Located in Carlsbad Village by the beach, we provide comprehensive treatment services, including on-site medical detoxification, making us one of the few Southern California facilities offering the complete continuum of care under one organization.

Call today: 442-430-3348

Born and raised in South Oceanside, California, Ian G grew up in the shadow of early loss. After his father passed away, Ian made a vow to himself he would never touch narcotics. Life, however, had other plans. After dropping out of high school, that promise slowly unraveled, giving way to years of heavy drinking and drug use marked by multiple DUIs, arrests, and mounting consequences.

In October of 2017, Ian was arrested for the last time. That moment became a turning point, leading him to his first stretch of sobriety. After one final relapse, Ian made a quiet but decisive choice on January 1st to get sober for good and this time, he stayed.

Today, Ian’s life looks radically different. He’s in a committed relationship, helping raise his stepdaughter, and thriving in a career in design. Alongside that, he’s cultivating a deep passion and talent for photography, channeling creativity into a life built on presence and purpose. This episode is a conversation about grief, broken promises, second chances, and what can grow when you finally stop running and start living.

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See you next week!

If you or a loved one are struggling with mental health or substances, Worthy Wellnesscan help.

Worthy Wellness Center is nestled within the charming village of Carlsbad, in North County, San Diego, less than half a mile from the tranquil local beaches. Worthy stands as a sanctuary wholly devoted to nurturing the healing and well-being of those in recovery. Committed to addressing the holistic needs of individuals navigating through life’s challenges, whether related to substance abuse, alcohol addiction, or mental and mood disorders, Worthy Wellness Center takes a comprehensive approach to healing the body, mind, and spirit.

Detox now open as well, 516 Recovery

516 Recovery Center transforms lives through individualized, compassionate care that rejects the “heads and beds” model of traditional treatment. Our licensed clinical team combines evidence-based therapies with holistic wellness approaches to help individuals overcome substance use disorders, mental health challenges, and co-occurring conditions in a welcoming beachside environment where personalized attention and genuine partnership drive lasting change.

Located in Carlsbad Village by the beach, we provide comprehensive treatment services, including on-site medical detoxification, making us one of the few Southern California facilities offering the complete continuum of care under one organization.

Call today: 442-430-3348