Gatherings play a big role in our lives. Weekly work meetings. Weddings. Holiday dinners. But over time, our gatherings can have a ho-hum feel. Priya Parker, author of the book, The Art of Gathering: How We Meet and Why It Matters, thinks it doesn’t have to be that way.

Priya is the founder of Thrive Labs, an organization that draws on her training and experience in conflict resolution, organizational design, and public policy to help others create transformative gatherings. From the momentous convening of the World Economic Forum to a light-hearted picnic in the park, she walks us through new ways of bringing people together, including who to invite, how many, and even how to start.

In this interview we discuss:

How the category of a gathering – like a wedding or networking event – should never supersede its purpose

Why knowing why we’re meetings should drive everything else about the gathering

How an innovative justice center in Red Hook, Brooklyn rethought its purpose for gathering in order to solve problems of poverty and crime

Why the New York Times had to replace ritual with purpose in its infamous “Page One” meetings

The kinds of questions we can ask when planning a meaningful gathering

Why “the more the merrier” works against effective meetings

The connection between purpose and the number of people we invite to a meeting

Why we need to think about the ratio of meeting space to number of people attending

The responsibilities a host has once the gathering begins

How we can use simple rules to create the feeling of a temporary alternative world

How to start a gathering (and how not to)

How an activity like “15 Toasts” drives connection

Why the end of a meeting is just as important as the beginning

Why gathering is an act of courage, rather than an act of perfection

Why we need to stop hiding as we plan and lead meetings of purpose 

Links to Episode Topics

@priyaparker

Priya Parker’s website

Red Hook Community Justice Center

New York Times “Page One” Meeting

Dean Baquet

Jonathan Cook

The Power of Moments by Dan and Chip Heath

Young Presidents Association

Presidio in San Francisco

Alamo Drafthouse Cinema

“I am here” days

Jill Soloway

Transparent

15 Toasts

Ocean’s 11 movie

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