Connected Parenting

Dating can bring up a very specific kind of parent anxiety, especially when you add in social media, texting, AI, and changing relationship norms that look nothing like what many of us grew up with.

In this guest episode, I sit down with Lianne Lee and Sarah Winstanley from the ConnectED Parents Project (powered by SHIFT: The Project to End Domestic Violence at the University of Calgary) for a grounded, non–fear-based conversation on how to prepare kids for healthy relationships long before dating begins.

Instead of “lock it down” parenting, this episode focuses on building skills early, strengthening connection, and helping kids develop an internal compass for what feels safe, respectful, and aligned.

Jennifer's Takeaways:

• Overview of the Connected Parents Project (01:07)
• Challenges of Modern Dating for Parents (03:42)
• Navigating Relationship Stages and Labels (06:33)
• Building Connection and Trust in Parenting (16:03)
• Addressing Digital Influences and Technology (30:34)
• Teaching Relationship Skills to Children (30:46)
• Balancing Privacy and Secrecy in Parenting (46:00)
• Supporting Boys and Healthy Masculinity (47:07)

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Meet Jennifer Kolari



Jennifer Kolari is the host of the “Connected Parenting” weekly podcast and the co-host of “The Mental Health Comedy” podcast. Kolari is a frequent guest on Nationwide morning shows and podcasts in th US and Canada. Her advice can also be found in many Canadian and US magazines such as; Today’s Parent, Parents Magazine and Canadian Family.

Kolari’s powerful parenting model is based on the neurobiology of love, teaching parents how to use compassion and empathy as powerful medicine to transform challenging behavior and build children’s emotional resilience and emotional shock absorbers.

Jennifer’s wisdom, quick wit and down to earth style help parents navigate modern-day parenting problems, offering real-life examples as well as practical and effective tools and strategies.

Her highly entertaining, inspiring workshops are shared with warmth and humour, making her a crowd-pleasing speaker with schools, medical professionals, corporations and agencies throughout North America, Europe and Asia.

One of the nation’s leading parenting experts, Jennifer Kolari, is a highly sought- after international speaker and the founder of Connected Parenting. A child and family therapist with a busy practice based in San Diego and Toronto, Kolari is also the author of Connected Parenting: How to Raise A Great Kid (Penguin Group USA and Penguin Canada, 2009) and You’re Ruining My Life! (But Not Really): Surviving the Teenage Years with Connected Parenting (Penguin Canada, 2011).

As parents, we often believe that authority comes from volume, big consequences, or control but true leadership is rooted in regulation.

When we escalate, our children’s brains register danger and shut down learning and empathy. When we stay steady, we teach them how to manage big emotions, tolerate distress, and repair after conflict.

This episode is not about being perfect. It’s about awareness, self-compassion, and repair. I share why children borrow our nervous systems, how to notice your own triggers, and simple strategies to regulate yourself in heated moments from breathing and softening your tone to repairing when you miss the mark.

Calm is not weakness. It’s containment. It’s love. And every time you choose steadiness over escalation, you’re shaping your child’s nervous system for life.

Jennifer's Takeaways:

• The Strength in Calm: Introduction to Connected Parenting (00:00)
• The Importance of Self-Regulation and Loving Leadership (01:00)
• The Impact of Parental Emotional State on Children (02:44)
• Self-Compassion and Repairing Dysregulation (04:46)
• Strategies for Staying Calm and Modeling Regulation (06:25)
• The Long-Term Benefits of Calm Parenting (09:35)

Meet Jennifer Kolari



Jennifer Kolari is the host of the “Connected Parenting” weekly podcast and the co-host of “The Mental Health Comedy” podcast. Kolari is a frequent guest on Nationwide morning shows and podcasts in th US and Canada. Her advice can also be found in many Canadian and US magazines such as; Today’s Parent, Parents Magazine and Canadian Family.

Kolari’s powerful parenting model is based on the neurobiology of love, teaching parents how to use compassion and empathy as powerful medicine to transform challenging behavior and build children’s emotional resilience and emotional shock absorbers.

Jennifer’s wisdom, quick wit and down to earth style help parents navigate modern-day parenting problems, offering real-life examples as well as practical and effective tools and strategies.

Her highly entertaining, inspiring workshops are shared with warmth and humour, making her a crowd-pleasing speaker with schools, medical professionals, corporations and agencies throughout North America, Europe and Asia.

One of the nation’s leading parenting experts, Jennifer Kolari, is a highly sought- after international speaker and the founder of Connected Parenting. A child and family therapist with a busy practice based in San Diego and Toronto, Kolari is also the author of Connected Parenting: How to Raise A Great Kid (Penguin Group USA and Penguin Canada, 2009) and You’re Ruining My Life! (But Not Really): Surviving the Teenage Years with Connected Parenting (Penguin Canada, 2011).

To the loyal dads who listen regularly, thank you. Your presence here matters more than you know. And to the moms quietly cueing up a three-minute clip to share in the kitchen or on a car ride, this one is for you too.

I want to say this clearly: fathers matter. Not as backup parents. Not as helpers. Not as secondary support. Fathers shape nervous systems. You shape self-worth. You shape how your children experience safety, confidence, boundaries, and the world itself.

In this episode, I talk about something I call “The Father Effect.” When a dad slows down, makes eye contact, mirrors emotion, and listens without immediately fixing, it lands with extraordinary power that resonates deeply and often generationally.

I also speak to a hard truth with compassion: many men were raised with a very narrow emotional rulebook. Be strong. Don’t cry. Don’t feel too much. And if you do feel something big, let it be anger. But emotions don’t disappear when they’re suppressed, they come out sideways.

This episode is an invitation. Not to be tougher or louder but to be braver in a different way. To be steady. To be soft. To listen first. To lead from love, not fear.

Because when fathers are present, regulated, and emotionally available, children thrive.

And what you model today will echo in the adults your children become.

Jennifer's Takeaways:

• Fathers Matter: Introduction and Acknowledgment (00:00)
• The Power of Fatherhood (01:22)
• The Father Effect: Attunement and Emotional Connection (02:19)
• Balancing Authority and Presence (05:49)
• The Role of Emotional Maturity (11:05)

Meet Jennifer Kolari



Jennifer Kolari is the host of the “Connected Parenting” weekly podcast and the co-host of “The Mental Health Comedy” podcast. Kolari is a frequent guest on Nationwide morning shows and podcasts in th US and Canada. Her advice can also be found in many Canadian and US magazines such as; Today’s Parent, Parents Magazine and Canadian Family.

Kolari’s powerful parenting model is based on the neurobiology of love, teaching parents how to use compassion and empathy as powerful medicine to transform challenging behavior and build children’s emotional resilience and emotional shock absorbers.

Jennifer’s wisdom, quick wit and down to earth style help parents navigate modern-day parenting problems, offering real-life examples as well as practical and effective tools and strategies.

Her highly entertaining, inspiring workshops are shared with warmth and humour, making her a crowd-pleasing speaker with schools, medical professionals, corporations and agencies throughout North America, Europe and Asia.

One of the nation’s leading parenting experts, Jennifer Kolari, is a highly sought- after international speaker and the founder of Connected Parenting. A child and family therapist with a busy practice based in San Diego and Toronto, Kolari is also the author of Connected Parenting: How to Raise A Great Kid (Penguin Group USA and Penguin Canada, 2009) and You’re Ruining My Life! (But Not Really): Surviving the Teenage Years with Connected Parenting (Penguin Canada, 2011).

Every child faces challenges when it comes to stepping outside their comfort zone—whether it's trying a new food, petting an unfamiliar dog, or speaking up in class.

But what if we could gently guide them to embrace these moments of bravery? Imagine the confidence they could build and the doors that could open when they learn to navigate the unknown.

In this week's replay, we explore how to strengthen your child's courage muscle, especially for those who are naturally hesitant. You'll learn practical strategies to help them take small, meaningful risks that lead to greater confidence, joy, and resilience.

Jennifer's Takeaways:

Building a Child's Courage Muscle (00:00)

Starting the Conversation and Setting Small Goals (03:08)

The Role of Imagination and Visualization (04:34)

Acting It Out and Maintaining a Playful Approach (06:29)

Parental Support and Neutrality (07:26)

Creating an Accomplishment Book (09:13)

The Long-Term Nature of Parenting (10:07)

The Importance of Risk-Taking and Growth (10:57)

Resources and Support (11:39)

Meet Jennifer Kolari



Jennifer Kolari is the host of the “Connected Parenting” weekly podcast and the co-host of “The Mental Health Comedy” podcast. Kolari is a frequent guest on Nationwide morning shows and podcasts in th US and Canada. Her advice can also be found in many Canadian and US magazines such as; Today’s Parent, Parents Magazine and Canadian Family.

Kolari’s powerful parenting model is based on the neurobiology of love, teaching parents how to use compassion and empathy as powerful medicine to transform challenging behavior and build children’s emotional resilience and emotional shock absorbers.

Jennifer’s wisdom, quick wit and down to earth style help parents navigate modern-day parenting problems, offering real-life examples as well as practical and effective tools and strategies.

Her highly entertaining, inspiring workshops are shared with warmth and humour, making her a crowd-pleasing speaker with schools, medical professionals, corporations and agencies throughout North America, Europe and Asia.

One of the nation’s leading parenting experts, Jennifer Kolari, is a highly sought- after international speaker and the founder of Connected Parenting. A child and family therapist with a busy practice based in San Diego and Toronto, Kolari is also the author of Connected Parenting: How to Raise A Great Kid (Penguin Group USA and Penguin Canada, 2009) and You’re Ruining My Life! (But Not Really): Surviving the Teenage Years with Connected Parenting (Penguin Canada, 2011).

I’ve had many requests from listeners asking for a refresher on the CALM Technique, and while I often direct people to earlier episodes, I think it’s time to go over it again.

In this replay episode, we’ll break down how to use the CALM Technique effectively, especially when dealing with teenage boys, who can sometimes be a little more challenging to connect with.

Whether you're parenting a fiery toddler, a sensitive pre-teen, or a moody adolescent, this episode will provide practical examples and real-life scenarios to help you de-escalate conflicts, improve communication, and strengthen your relationship with your child.|

If your child isn’t a teen yet—don’t worry, they will be soon! And if you have daughters, this technique is universally helpful for all kids.

Tune in for a deep dive into CALM and how to apply it in everyday parenting.

In today’s episode, we’ll explore:

• Introduction to the Calm Technique and Oxytocin (00:00)
• The Four Steps of the Calm Technique (03:35)
• Scenarios and Practical Applications (08:25)
• Advanced Techniques and Tips (23:01)

Meet Jennifer Kolari



Jennifer Kolari is the host of the “Connected Parenting” weekly podcast and the co-host of “The Mental Health Comedy” podcast. Kolari is a frequent guest on Nationwide morning shows and podcasts in th US and Canada. Her advice can also be found in many Canadian and US magazines such as; Today’s Parent, Parents Magazine and Canadian Family.

Kolari’s powerful parenting model is based on the neurobiology of love, teaching parents how to use compassion and empathy as powerful medicine to transform challenging behavior and build children’s emotional resilience and emotional shock absorbers.

Jennifer’s wisdom, quick wit and down to earth style help parents navigate modern-day parenting problems, offering real-life examples as well as practical and effective tools and strategies.

Her highly entertaining, inspiring workshops are shared with warmth and humour, making her a crowd-pleasing speaker with schools, medical professionals, corporations and agencies throughout North America, Europe and Asia.

One of the nation’s leading parenting experts, Jennifer Kolari, is a highly sought- after international speaker and the founder of Connected Parenting. A child and family therapist with a busy practice based in San Diego and Toronto, Kolari is also the author of Connected Parenting: How to Raise A Great Kid (Penguin Group USA and Penguin Canada, 2009) and You’re Ruining My Life! (But Not Really): Surviving the Teenage Years with Connected Parenting (Penguin Canada, 2011).

In this episode of Connected Parenting, we dive into a powerful visual and verbal tool that helps kids regulate their behavior and emotions called the "Stoplight Technique" (also known as Red Light, Green Light).

As parents, one of our greatest challenges is guiding our kids through big feelings and impulsive behavior without losing our own cool. That’s where this simple yet effective method comes in.

Listen in to hear me explain how the stoplight framework teaches children cause and effect, emotional regulation, and personal accountability, all in a way that’s age-appropriate and easy to apply at home or in the classroom.

It gives them a clear visual anchor to understand what’s expected, and when things need to pause or shift.

You’ll also learn how to modify the strategy for teenagers (because let’s be honest, a red light chart on the fridge might not go over so well at 15), and why this tool can be just as helpful for you as the parent.

Whether your child struggles with emotional outbursts, transitions, or impulsive behavior, this episode offers a compassionate, practical way to build emotional intelligence together.

Jennifer's Takeaways:

• Red Light, Green Light Technique Overview (00:00)
• Explanation of Red Light, Green Light Behaviors (01:05)
• Handling Yellow Light Behaviors (03:01)
• Applying the Technique to Teenagers (06:57)
• Using the Technique for Consistency and Flexibility (11:36)

Meet Jennifer Kolari

Jennifer Kolari is the host of the “Connected Parenting” weekly podcast and the co-host of “The Mental Health Comedy” podcast. Kolari is a frequent guest on Nationwide morning shows and podcasts in the US and Canada. Her advice can also be found in many Canadian and US magazines such as; Today’s Parent, Parents Magazine and Canadian Family.

Kolari’s powerful parenting model is based on the neurobiology of love, teaching parents how to use compassion and empathy as powerful medicine to transform challenging behavior and build children’s emotional resilience and emotional shock absorbers.

Jennifer’s wisdom, quick wit and down to earth style help parents navigate modern-day parenting problems, offering real-life examples as well as practical and effective tools and strategies.

Her highly entertaining, inspiring workshops are shared with warmth and humour, making her a crowd-pleasing speaker with schools, medical professionals, corporations and agencies throughout North America, Europe and Asia.

One of the nation’s leading parenting experts, Jennifer Kolari, is a highly sought- after international speaker and the founder of Connected Parenting. A child and family therapist with a busy practice based in San Diego and Toronto, Kolari is also the author of Connected Parenting: How to Raise A Great Kid (Penguin Group USA and Penguin Canada, 2009) and You’re Ruining My Life! (But Not Really): Surviving the Teenage Years with Connected Parenting (Penguin Canada, 2011).

In today’s episode, I explore an important topic in modern parenting: the importance of struggle, and how easily it’s being lost in a world shaped by convenience, technology, and AI. While AI is part of the conversation, this episode goes deeper, focusing on what happens when children no longer get enough practice doing hard things.

I explain why struggle is not a problem to eliminate, but a critical part of healthy brain development. When kids wrestle with challenges, frustration, effort, and uncertainty, they build resilience, problem-solving skills, emotional regulation, and confidence.

These capacities don’t come from ease or shortcuts, they come from experience.

The episode gently challenges the instinct to smooth the path too much for our children, especially when tools like AI can quickly remove discomfort.

Throughout the conversation, the message is clear: kids don’t need life to be harder, but they do need meaningful struggle. When parents stay present, encouraging, and regulated, children learn that they can tolerate difficulty and come out stronger on the other side.

Jennifer's Takeaways:

• The Importance of Struggle in Parenting (00:00)
• Understanding Dopamine and Its Role in Motivation (00:48)
• The Impact of Technology on Children's Motivation (03:37)
• The Concept of Optimal Frustration (05:33)
• The Role of AI in Education and Parenting (09:13)
• Building Resilience and Mental Health (14:13)
• The Importance of Valuing the Process Over the Outcome (14:50)
• The Role of Parents in Guiding Children's Development (19:44)
• The Impact of AI on Emotional Maturity and Resilience (19:56)

Meet Jennifer Kolari

Jennifer Kolari is the host of the “Connected Parenting” weekly podcast and the co-host of “The Mental Health Comedy” podcast. Kolari is a frequent guest on Nationwide morning shows and podcasts in the US and Canada. Her advice can also be found in many Canadian and US magazines such as; Today’s Parent, Parents Magazine and Canadian Family.

Kolari’s powerful parenting model is based on the neurobiology of love, teaching parents how to use compassion and empathy as powerful medicine to transform challenging behavior and build children’s emotional resilience and emotional shock absorbers.

Jennifer’s wisdom, quick wit and down to earth style help parents navigate modern-day parenting problems, offering real-life examples as well as practical and effective tools and strategies.

Her highly entertaining, inspiring workshops are shared with warmth and humour, making her a crowd-pleasing speaker with schools, medical professionals, corporations and agencies throughout North America, Europe and Asia.

One of the nation’s leading parenting experts, Jennifer Kolari, is a highly sought- after international speaker and the founder of Connected Parenting. A child and family therapist with a busy practice based in San Diego and Toronto, Kolari is also the author of Connected Parenting: How to Raise A Great Kid (Penguin Group USA and Penguin Canada, 2009) and You’re Ruining My Life! (But Not Really): Surviving the Teenage Years with Connected Parenting (Penguin Canada, 2011).

Welcome to the first Connected Parenting episode of 2026.

As we step into a new year, many parents are feeling something they don’t always say out loud: the world feels unsettling. It feels polarized, confusing, and at times frightening. Even when we try to protect our children from it, kids sense adult anxiety, uncertainty, and tension more than we realize.

This episode is not about fixing the world or pretending everything is fine. Instead, it’s about coming back to what is within our reach as parents: connection, presence, and the small, powerful moments that shape emotionally healthy humans.

The world doesn’t need perfect kids. It needs emotionally integrated, compassionate, resilient humans, and those are shaped through connection.

Jennifer's Takeaways:

• New Year Reflections and Parenting Challenges (00:00)
• Children's Exposure to Information and Parental Responsiveness (01:31)
• Emotional Regulation and Self-Soothing (03:25)
• Concrete Ideas for Daily Connection (05:25)
• Reframing Parental Responses and Building Emotional Integration (05:46)

Meet Jennifer Kolari

Jennifer Kolari is the host of the “Connected Parenting” weekly podcast and the co-host of “The Mental Health Comedy” podcast. Kolari is a frequent guest on Nationwide morning shows and podcasts in the US and Canada. Her advice can also be found in many Canadian and US magazines such as; Today’s Parent, Parents Magazine and Canadian Family.

Kolari’s powerful parenting model is based on the neurobiology of love, teaching parents how to use compassion and empathy as powerful medicine to transform challenging behavior and build children’s emotional resilience and emotional shock absorbers.

Jennifer’s wisdom, quick wit and down to earth style help parents navigate modern-day parenting problems, offering real-life examples as well as practical and effective tools and strategies.

Her highly entertaining, inspiring workshops are shared with warmth and humour, making her a crowd-pleasing speaker with schools, medical professionals, corporations and agencies throughout North America, Europe and Asia.

One of the nation’s leading parenting experts, Jennifer Kolari, is a highly sought- after international speaker and the founder of Connected Parenting. A child and family therapist with a busy practice based in San Diego and Toronto, Kolari is also the author of Connected Parenting: How to Raise A Great Kid (Penguin Group USA and Penguin Canada, 2009) and You’re Ruining My Life! (But Not Really): Surviving the Teenage Years with Connected Parenting (Penguin Canada, 2011).

In this episode of Connected Parenting, Jennifer unpacks why the holiday season, meant to feel magical, can so quickly become overwhelming for families, especially those with sensitive, strong-willed, neurodivergent, or easily dysregulated kids.

Between packed schedules, disrupted routines, sugar highs, late nights, social expectations, and the pressure to “be cheerful,” many children experience a perfect storm of excitement and stress. And when kids become dysregulated, parents often follow.

Jennifer explains how to hold both connection and containment, the warmth and playfulness of the season and the firm boundaries kids need to feel safe. You’ll learn why predictable rhythms matter, how to prevent meltdowns before they start, and how to support kids who struggle with transitions, sensory overload, or big emotions.

Whether you’re navigating multiple family gatherings, disrupted routines, or a child who feels everything intensely, this episode helps you create holidays that feel meaningful instead of messy, and connected instead of chaotic.

Jennifer's Takeaways:

• Holiday Challenges for Parents and Children (00:00)
• Impact of Holiday Disruptions on Children (02:35)
• Maintaining Structure and Routine (04:47)
• Practical Strategies for a Calm Holiday (05:28)
• Reframing Holiday Success and Final Thoughts (09:29)

Meet Jennifer Kolari

Jennifer Kolari is the host of the “Connected Parenting” weekly podcast and the co-host of “The Mental Health Comedy” podcast. Kolari is a frequent guest on Nationwide morning shows and podcasts in the US and Canada. Her advice can also be found in many Canadian and US magazines such as; Today’s Parent, Parents Magazine and Canadian Family.

Kolari’s powerful parenting model is based on the neurobiology of love, teaching parents how to use compassion and empathy as powerful medicine to transform challenging behavior and build children’s emotional resilience and emotional shock absorbers.

Jennifer’s wisdom, quick wit and down to earth style help parents navigate modern-day parenting problems, offering real-life examples as well as practical and effective tools and strategies.

Her highly entertaining, inspiring workshops are shared with warmth and humour, making her a crowd-pleasing speaker with schools, medical professionals, corporations and agencies throughout North America, Europe and Asia.

One of the nation’s leading parenting experts, Jennifer Kolari, is a highly sought- after international speaker and the founder of Connected Parenting. A child and family therapist with a busy practice based in San Diego and Toronto, Kolari is also the author of Connected Parenting: How to Raise A Great Kid (Penguin Group USA and Penguin Canada, 2009) and You’re Ruining My Life! (But Not Really): Surviving the Teenage Years with Connected Parenting (Penguin Canada, 2011).

In today’s Q&A episode, I am answering two powerful parenting questions about teens who are anxious, withdrawn, or pushing parents away.

Exploring how to support a 14-year-old who feels intense anxiety entering stores or public places, and why this “spotlight stage” is such a normal part of teen development. Listen in to hear me share how tools like the CALM Technique, predictability, rehearsal, and sensory anchors can reduce anticipatory fear and help anxious teens feel more regulated.

We then look at how to communicate with a 15-year-old who shuts down or becomes easily irritated, and why teens often push away the feeling of being small rather than the parent themselves. I offer practical strategies like side-door conversations, low-pressure moments of connection, a warm neutral tone, and the 5:2 ratio to keep communication open and relationship-focused.

This episode is a reassuring guide for any parent navigating anxious teens, withdrawn teens, or the normal developmental challenges of adolescence reminding you that connection and co-regulation are the bridge back to closeness.

Jennifer's Takeaways:

• Q&A on Helping a 14-Year-Old with Anxiety (00:01)
• Strategies for Managing Anxiety in Public Places (04:46)
• Connecting with Teenagers: Side Door Conversations (09:05)
• Building Connection Through Proximity and Moments (15:13)
• Resources and Final Thoughts (18:12)

Meet Jennifer Kolari

Jennifer Kolari is the host of the “Connected Parenting” weekly podcast and the co-host of “The Mental Health Comedy” podcast. Kolari is a frequent guest on Nationwide morning shows and podcasts in the US and Canada. Her advice can also be found in many Canadian and US magazines such as; Today’s Parent, Parents Magazine and Canadian Family.

Kolari’s powerful parenting model is based on the neurobiology of love, teaching parents how to use compassion and empathy as powerful medicine to transform challenging behavior and build children’s emotional resilience and emotional shock absorbers.

Jennifer’s wisdom, quick wit and down to earth style help parents navigate modern-day parenting problems, offering real-life examples as well as practical and effective tools and strategies.

Her highly entertaining, inspiring workshops are shared with warmth and humour, making her a crowd-pleasing speaker with schools, medical professionals, corporations and agencies throughout North America, Europe and Asia.

One of the nation’s leading parenting experts, Jennifer Kolari, is a highly sought- after international speaker and the founder of Connected Parenting. A child and family therapist with a busy practice based in San Diego and Toronto, Kolari is also the author of Connected Parenting: How to Raise A Great Kid (Penguin Group USA and Penguin Canada, 2009) and You’re Ruining My Life! (But Not Really): Surviving the Teenage Years with Connected Parenting (Penguin Canada, 2011).