Depression doesn’t just bring sadness—it can strip away hope, motivation, and even the will to fight for recovery. For Johnny Crowder, frontman, mental health advocate, and founder of Cope Notes, depression became the most debilitating part of his long list of diagnoses, which also included anxiety, OCD, bipolar disorder, and schizophrenia.

In this deeply honest conversation, Johnny shares how depression convinced him not to seek help, why it felt impossible to do the things that could make him better, and how he eventually began to challenge those dark, repetitive thoughts. He also explains how he monitors his own “tells” to recognize when depression is rising—and how noticing even small sparks of joy helped him rebuild hope.

Together with Terry and Dr. Anita Sanz, Johnny explores the paradox of depression, the importance of self-compassion, and practical strategies for surviving when life feels impossible.

Link to Johnny Crowder's Website:

https://johnnycrowder.com/

Link to Johnny Crowder's first TEDx Talk: "Why I Don't Want to Die Anymore":

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=e612-OTu-SA

Link to Johnny Crowder's second TEDx Talk: "How to Grow as a Person (and Why it Sucks)"

 https://www.ted.com/talks/johnny_crowder_how_to_grow_as_a_person_and_why_it_sucks

Primary Topics Covered:

• Why depression can feel more debilitating than other diagnoses
• Johnny’s lived experience with bipolar disorder, OCD, and schizophrenia
• The metaphor of depression as the “thing that keeps you from the solution”
• How hopelessness prevents people from seeking treatment
• The difference between acceptance and surrender in mental health
• Eckhart Tolle’s approach to reframing intrusive thoughts
• Recognizing personal “tells” that signal the onset of depression
• Why monitoring sparks of joy can help recovery
• Practical coping strategies and the importance of safe support

Timestamps:

00:00 – Introduction: Why depression conversations matter  
02:07 – Meet Johnny Crowder: musician, advocate, and psychology graduate  
03:09 – Johnny’s mental health diagnoses: depression, anxiety, OCD, schizophrenia, bipolar  
05:45 – Depression as the most debilitating diagnosis  
06:54 – How depression prevents people from seeking help  
07:24 – Explaining depression’s nature to those who haven’t experienced it  
09:13 – Sadness vs. depression: the difference  
10:12 – Losing hope and vision for the future  
11:47 – Seeking evidence outside depression’s lies  
12:53 – Writing truths for yourself when you’re well  
13:27 – Therapist insight: “Who would you have to be to not be affected?”  
14:33 – Connecting life stress with depressive episodes  
15:22 – Learning from Eckhart Tolle: reframing thoughts  
17:31 – Johnny’s personal “tells” that depression is worsening  
18:28 – Recognizing signs of recovery: sparks of joy returning  
19:19 – Depression as the blocker to solutions and hope  
20:44 – Acceptance vs. surrender: finding balance  
23:36 – Responding differently to symptoms without resisting  
28:10 – Acceptance as empowerment, not giving up  
29:35 – Early warning signs and recognizing positive change  
30:59 – Johnny’s advocacy and Cope Notes

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