Creating a Family: Talk about Adoption, Foster & Kinship Care

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I spent some time this week thinking about what I’ve learned from my experiences as an adoptive parent and the wisdom of others in our community. In reflection, I've created a list of the things I wish I knew before adopting.

Resources:

• 8 Things I Wish I Had Known Before I Adopted
• Free courses to strengthen your family
• Therapeutic Parenting: Strategies & Solutions
• Beginner’s Guide to TBRI

Support the show

Please leave us a rating or review.  This podcast is produced by www.CreatingaFamily.org. We are a national non-profit with the mission to strengthen and inspire adoptive, foster & kinship parents and the professionals who support them.

Creating a Family brings you the following trauma-informed, expert-based content:

• Weekly podcasts
• Weekly articles/blog posts
• Resource pages on all aspects of family building

Drop us some Fan Mail. Thanks!

Kinship-led families have unique needs, and finding resources to meet those needs can be a challenge. Today, we're talking with Mike Heath, a Resource Specialist with the Coalition for Children, Youth & Families in Wisconsin. The Coalition is a Resource Center for birth parents, foster families, adoptive families, relative/kinship/and like-kin caregivers, and child welfare and Tribal agency professionals.

In this episode, we discuss:

• What are the most frequently reported everyday needs or resource gaps caregivers are experiencing? 
• What is the most pressing need these kids are facing when they come to a new caregiver?
• What are the urgent needs caregivers have when welcoming a child or a sibling group, etc?
• Where can families find help with immediate essentials—such as beds, cribs, car seats, clothing, and school supplies?
• Which phone numbers should caregivers keep on speed dial?
• How should a relative caregiver secure the ability to make medical and school decisions quickly? 
• What papers or forms should caregivers request on day one? From whom?
• Managing the documentation and paperwork can be a significant challenge for a new caregiver. Do you have any recommendations for managing this?
• Should school enrollment be a priority in that first week? 
• How should a caregiver start the process of ensuring medical coverage (dental, vision, prescriptions, and mental health included)?
• Where should I start if I find the Medicaid/CHIP process confusing? 
• Once a kinship-led family is settling in, what additional needs or options should they consider? 
• Where to go to learn about those options?
• What are the possible financial resources that caregivers should look into?
• Importance of self-care, mental wellness, and community for both caregivers and the children they support
• If a new caregiver listens to this and does only three things this week, what should they be?

Resources:

• Free Download Checklist for the first 30 days as a Kinship Caregiver
• Virtual Resource Kit for Relative Caregivers - Virtual Resource Kit: Relative Caregiving - Wisconsin Family Connections Center
• Relative Caregiver Learning Pathway on Champion Classrooms (Free recorded webinar series) - Relative Caregiver Learning Pathway Link 
• Collection of Resources for Relative Caregivers - https://wifamilyconnectionscenter.org/how-do-i/find-support-as-a-relative-caregiver/
• Coalition for Children, Youth & Families - https://coalitionforcyf.org/
• Legal Options for Kinship Caregivers - NCKinshipFamilies.org

Support the show

Please leave us a rating or review.  This podcast is produced by www.CreatingaFamily.org. We are a national non-profit with the mission to strengthen and inspire adoptive, foster & kinship parents and the professionals who support them.

Creating a Family brings you the following trauma-informed, expert-based content:

• Weekly podcasts
• Weekly articles/blog posts
• Resource pages on all aspects of family building

Drop us some Fan Mail. Thanks!

Today, we are tackling a question that comes up a lot for parents and caregivers in our community – what do you do with a picky eater?

Resources:

•  Food Issues
• My Foster Child Only Eats Junk Food
• Practical Solutions to Typical Food Issues with Adopted and Foster Kids

Support the show

Please leave us a rating or review.  This podcast is produced by www.CreatingaFamily.org. We are a national non-profit with the mission to strengthen and inspire adoptive, foster & kinship parents and the professionals who support them.

Creating a Family brings you the following trauma-informed, expert-based content:

• Weekly podcasts
• Weekly articles/blog posts
• Resource pages on all aspects of family building

Drop us some Fan Mail. Thanks!

Jackson TerKeurst was born in Liberia and by the age of 7 was a war orphan living in dire circumstances. So how did he end up as an entrepreneur, leader, and now author? Join us for an inspirational conversation about identity, overcoming, and redemption from Jackson's new book, The Only Way Forward is Back.

In this episode, we discuss:

• Cultural differences 
• How challenges like poverty and food insecurity impacted your first experiences in the States
• How did your trauma manifest in your behavior at home?
• How did your family help heal those impacts?
• Discuss the additional unique challenges that being adopted as a teenager may have presented during your early months and years in your new family.
• Discuss how you’ve worked on answering "Who Am I?" across the chapters of your life?
• What were the helpful or healing experiences that went into pulling all those parts of your identity together to create today’s Jackson TerKuerst, husband, father, son, brother, entrepreneur, and now author?
• What would you say to parents or caregivers who are in the thick of it right now, walking with a child who is struggling to figure out who they are and where they belong?

Support the show

Please leave us a rating or review.  This podcast is produced by www.CreatingaFamily.org. We are a national non-profit with the mission to strengthen and inspire adoptive, foster & kinship parents and the professionals who support them.

Creating a Family brings you the following trauma-informed, expert-based content:

• Weekly podcasts
• Weekly articles/blog posts
• Resource pages on all aspects of family building

Drop us some Fan Mail. Thanks!

Question: Are there travel restrictions when you are fostering? For example, my family lives out of state, but can I bring the child with me when I travel to visit family?

Resources:

• Working as Part of a Foster Care Team
• Working with the Birth Parents for the Child's Best Interest
• Becoming a Foster Parent

Support the show

Please leave us a rating or review.  This podcast is produced by www.CreatingaFamily.org. We are a national non-profit with the mission to strengthen and inspire adoptive, foster & kinship parents and the professionals who support them.

Creating a Family brings you the following trauma-informed, expert-based content:

• Weekly podcasts
• Weekly articles/blog posts
• Resource pages on all aspects of family building

Drop us some Fan Mail. Thanks!

Are you considering adopting a child over the age of 5? Listen to this interview with Sarah Hansen and Simi Riesner. Sarah is the Director of International Advocacy at the Gladney Center for Adoption, with over 20 years of experience supporting adoptive families and children. She is also an adoptive parent to an older child from Thailand. Simi is the Executive Director of Mazi Adoption and Family Services, as well as a licensed social worker and foster parent.  Simi also has lived experience as an adult adoptee, and is passionate about maintaining sibling relationships and promoting transparency within the adoption community. 

In this episode, we discuss:

• What are the age ranges you see being the most difficult to find adoptive homes for?
• Generally the greatest need in both international and foster care adoption is kids 5+
• Why are many prospective parents are almost afraid of adopting a tween or teen.
• What are the common challenging behaviors parents may face when adopting an older child: (keeping in mind that not all older children will struggle with these behaviors!) 
  • Lying, stealing
  • Lagging social skills
  • Acting out physically or sexually
  • Sibling rivalry
  • Regression of already developed skills (potty training, sleep, communication etc)
• What behaviors might parents expect to see in the children already living in the home that are likely impacted by the behaviors of a newly adopted sibling? Or influenced by the new sibling?
• Why do older children behave in some of these challenging ways? What’s driving them? 
  • Grief, loss
  • Trauma, abuse, neglect
  • Prenatal exposure to drugs/alcohol
  • Fear, unpredictability, Fight/flight/freeze response
  • Constant hypervigilance
  • Coping or survival skills
  • Mental health challenges
  • Undiagnosed learning challenges
• What are a few specific strategies to build trust and felt-safety for a newly adopted older child?
• What suggestions do you offer families who are adopting tweens and teens – especially when those young people have had very few limits or boundaries around them prior to adoption?
• What are the signs that maybe an older child is not attaching securely or catching on to the idea that they are now part of this family?
• Practical tips to implement today when considering Older Child Adoption

Resources:

• 6 Tips for Older Child Adoption
• Maintaining a Healthy Perspective When Parenting Tweens & Teens
• Preparing to Blend Kids by Birth and Adoption or Foster/Kinship Care
• Welcoming an Older Child to Your Family
• Adoptee Voices

Support the show

Please leave us a rating or review.  This podcast is produced by www.CreatingaFamily.org. We are a national non-profit with the mission to strengthen and inspire adoptive, foster & kinship parents and the professionals who support them.

Creating a Family brings you the following trauma-informed, expert-based content:

• Weekly podcasts
• Weekly articles/blog posts
• Resource pages on all aspects of family building

Drop us some Fan Mail. Thanks!

Questions: I am a 58 single man and I am considering fostering. 

1. My first question is how much of a bias is there against men? 
2. What are the unique challenges that single foster dads face that discourage so many? 
3. What can we do to get more single foster dads to help families reunify, foster, and possibly adopt?

Resources:

• Creating a Support Network as a Single Adoptive, Foster, or Kinship Parent (Article)
• Adopting as a Single Parent (Online Parent Training course)
• Resources for Adopting or Fostering as a Single Parent

Support the show

Please leave us a rating or review.  This podcast is produced by www.CreatingaFamily.org. We are a national non-profit with the mission to strengthen and inspire adoptive, foster & kinship parents and the professionals who support them.

Creating a Family brings you the following trauma-informed, expert-based content:

• Weekly podcasts
• Weekly articles/blog posts
• Resource pages on all aspects of family building

Drop us some Fan Mail. Thanks!

Are you educated and informed on the issues around weed and vaping, including THC, nicotine, and the signs of addiction? Listen to this interview with Dr. Krishna White. She is an attending physician at the Children's Hospital of Philadelphia, with board certifications in Pediatrics, Adolescent Medicine, and Addiction Medicine. 

In this episode, we discuss:

• Can you explain why kids who’ve experienced trauma, prenatal substance exposure, or who are neurodivergent may be at greater risk for turning to substances like marijuana or vaping?
• How are kids typically using marijuana today? (edibles, vaping THC, traditional smoking, oils)
• Are kids generally aware of what they’re consuming, especially when it comes to the potency of today’s marijuana?
• What are some of the short-term effects of marijuana use in adolescents?
• What long-term impacts are you seeing in your clinical practice, especially for kids whose brains are still developing?
• Now let’s move to vaping – what it is, why it’s so popular, and what we need to know about how kids are using it. 
• Can you break down what vaping is and what substances kids may be inhaling?
• Why is vaping so appealing to tweens and teens, even those who’ve never used another substance?
• What are some of the immediate health concerns tied to vaping in young people?
• And long-term—what are you most worried about when it comes to kids who are vaping regularly?
• What strategies can adoptive, foster, or kinship caregivers use to help buffer or “substance-proof” their kids?
• How early should conversations about marijuana and vaping begin?
• For kids who already have a higher vulnerability, what are some protective factors or environments that help reduce their risk?
• What are some signs that a child might be using marijuana or vaping—even if they’re trying to hide it?
• If a child has already started using, how can caregivers respond in a way that’s both firm and supportive?
• When does occasional experimentation cross the line into something that needs professional help?
• What are nicotine pouches – why are they appealing and what are the short or long term impacts we should know about?
• What would you say to a caregiver who’s feeling overwhelmed or ashamed that this is part of their child’s story?
• If you could offer just one piece of advice to a caregiver trying to navigate this with their teen, what would it be?

Resources:

• Prenatal Exposure, Part 2: Parenting Tweens and Teens
• Are Kids Exposed Prenatally More Likely to Abuse Alcohol & Drugs?
• Preventing Teen Substance Abuse - Center for Parent and Teen Communication

Support the show

Please leave us a rating or review.  This podcast is produced by www.CreatingaFamily.org. We are a national non-profit with the mission to strengthen and inspire adoptive, foster & kinship parents and the professionals who support them.

Creating a Family brings you the following trauma-informed, expert-based content:

• Weekly podcasts
• Weekly articles/blog posts
• Resource pages on all aspects of family building

Drop us some Fan Mail. Thanks!

Question: I have listened to hundreds of adoption-related podcast episodes, but very few of them have talked about talking directly with a potential birth mother. We were matched with an expectant mother who wanted to be able to communicate with us directly. We agreed, believing that it would help us form a better relationship. However, we were mentally unprepared for the wavering she expressed to us. Despite being so certain when we first met with her, as the pregnancy went on, she then had thoughts of parenting. The match ended with disruption, but I would love to hear a podcast about how to handle oneself in that situation. An episode of another podcast talked about how to handle that situation at the hospital during birth, but I felt something dedicated to communication throughout the pregnancy would be helpful.  Thanks for such a helpful podcast!

Resources:

• Our #1 Secret Tip for Navigating Open Adoption
• Signs that an Expectant Woman May Change Her Mind About Placing Her Child for Adoption
• Understanding Expectant Moms Who are Considering Adoption

Support the show

Please leave us a rating or review.  This podcast is produced by www.CreatingaFamily.org. We are a national non-profit with the mission to strengthen and inspire adoptive, foster & kinship parents and the professionals who support them.

Creating a Family brings you the following trauma-informed, expert-based content:

• Weekly podcasts
• Weekly articles/blog posts
• Resource pages on all aspects of family building

Drop us some Fan Mail. Thanks!

Are you considering adopting internationally? You need to listen to this interview about the laws and processes that you will be required to follow. We'll be talking with Kelly Dempsey, a partner with Fox Rothschild, who specializes in adoption and assisted reproduction. She is a fellow in the Academy of Adoption & Assisted Reproduction Attorneys and an adoptive parent through both international and domestic adoptions.

In this episode, we discuss:

1. Hague Convention on the Protection of Children and Co-operation in Respect of Intercountry Adoption 
   1. Purpose 
      1. Key Elements of the Hague Treaty:
         1. Central Authority 
         2. Determining the child’s eligibility for intercountry adoption
         3. Accredited or Approved Adoption Agencies
         4. Transparency
2. The Immigration and Nationality Act (INA) 
   1. INA 101(b)(1)(F) I-600 “Orphan Route” 
      1. Child must qualify as an orphan under US definition
      2. Only one parent – incapable of providing support
      3. Deadlines: I600A before child’s 16th birthday -- only have 180 days to file the I-600, after USCIS approves the I-600 
   2. INA 101(b)(1)(G) I-800 “Convention Route”
      1. Work with CA Art 12, Art 16
      2. Eligibility decided by CA COO, but if consulate does an I-604 investigation that disqualifies child, then case will be denied
      3. Deadlines: Must file I-800A before age 16 and within 180 days of the approval of the I-800A, must file the I-800 (even w/o Art 16)
      4. Children adopted from other countries must first obtain a U.S. visa before they can travel or move to the United States. Visas are issued at the U.S. Embassy or Consulate in the foreign country where a child resides. Since a child being adopted abroad by a U.S. citizen parent(s) will usually be brought to live in the United States, that child will need an immigrant visa.
3. International Accreditation Act
4. Process When Adopting from a Hague Country. 
5. Process When Adopting from a Non-Hague countries. 
   1. Must qualify as orphans as defined by the Immigration and Nationality Act (INA) before they can be considered for U.S. permanent residence or citizenship.
   2. Get more information at the State Department - Adoption Process/Non-Hague Visa Process. 
6. More information on the Hague Convention and other applicable Federal regulations 
   1. US State Department - International Adoption
   2. US Citizenship and Immigration Services (USCIS)  
7. US Department of State has a section on their website on “Understanding the Hague Convention” 
8. US Department of State has a section on their website on “Immigrant Visa Process”

Support the show

Please leave us a rating or review.  This podcast is produced by www.CreatingaFamily.org. We are a national non-profit with the mission to strengthen and inspire adoptive, foster & kinship parents and the professionals who support them.

Creating a Family brings you the following trauma-informed, expert-based content:

• Weekly podcasts
• Weekly articles/blog posts
• Resource pages on all aspects of family building