Click here to send us a topic idea or question for Weekend Wisdom.

Question: I’m a single 38-year-old woman. I’ve always been interested in fostering, but I thought I’d wait until I got married. That doesn’t seem to be on the horizon, and I’m tired of waiting. Is it possible to foster as a single woman? Will it be too hard? I prefer a baby placed with me since I'm new to parenting.

Resources:

• Becoming a Foster Parent
• Fostering as a Single Parent
• Self-Care for Foster Parents

Support the show

Please leave us a rating or review. This podcast is produced by www.CreatingaFamily.org. We are a national non-profit with the mission to strengthen and inspire adoptive, foster & kinship parents and the professionals who support them.

Creating a Family brings you the following trauma-informed, expert-based content:

• Weekly podcasts
• Weekly articles/blog posts
• Resource pages on all aspects of family building

Click here to send us a topic idea or question for Weekend Wisdom.

How can something that happened in past generations impact us now and affect the way we parent? Join our conversation with Beth Tyson, a childhood trauma consultant and former family-based trauma therapist. She is the author of the children’s books A Grandfamily for Sullivan and Sullivan Goes to See Mama.

In this episode, we cover:

• What is intergenerational trauma? In essence, intergenerational trauma is the passing of the emotional pain of one generation to another.
• What are some other names it goes by? (generational trauma, historical trauma, or multigenerational trauma)
• What types of events can cause intergenerational trauma? (personal and more widespread events)
• How can trauma that happened 100 years ago impact us now?
• What are the symptoms of intergenerational trauma that we might see in future generations?
• How to recognize behavior that is triggering intergenerational trauma?
• Researchers are also looking into the possible role of “epigenetic changes.” 
• How do we know if what we are doing or how we are responding is the result of intergenerational trauma? Questions to ask ourselves about us or our relatives.
• ACEs Adverse Childhood Adversity study.
• How to heal from this type of trauma?
  • Recognize that it exists.
  • Basic background info can be used in understanding trauma.
  • Become a detective of your past.
  • What brings up big emotions in you from your child’s behavior?
  • Apologize when we make mistakes. Acknowledge your mistake.
  • Positive childhood experiences.
  • Children need to be “claimed.” They need to belong and have one person who is committed to them.
  • Traditions.
  • Connecting to their history—cultural, religious, family. 
  • Put as many of their family connections in their life as is possible.
  • Resiliency through moderate and predictable stressors. Ex. sports. 
• Practical tips that can help you when you’re in the heat of the moment.
  • Somatic stimulation.
  • Recognize the arc of the behavior.
  • Have mantras to help you cope. “My child is a good child who is having a hard time. I’m a good parent who is having a hard time.”
• For kinship families (although it can be applicable to all families), how do you deal with guilt that you potentially passed on your trauma to your child, and now the child you are raising is suffering as a result?

Support the show

Please leave us a rating or review. This podcast is produced by www.CreatingaFamily.org. We are a national non-profit with the mission to strengthen and inspire adoptive, foster & kinship parents and the professionals who support them.

Creating a Family brings you the following trauma-informed, expert-based content:

• Weekly podcasts
• Weekly articles/blog posts
• Resource pages on all aspects of family building

Click here to send us a topic idea or question for Weekend Wisdom.

Question: My husband and I have been married two years. I'm 44 and he’s 61. Is there an age limit to be able to adopt a baby?

Resources:

• Domestic Infant Adoption (Resource page)
• Foster Care Adoption (Resource page)
• Adoption Options

Support the show

Please leave us a rating or review. This podcast is produced by www.CreatingaFamily.org. We are a national non-profit with the mission to strengthen and inspire adoptive, foster & kinship parents and the professionals who support them.

Creating a Family brings you the following trauma-informed, expert-based content:

• Weekly podcasts
• Weekly articles/blog posts
• Resource pages on all aspects of family building

Click here to send us a topic idea or question for Weekend Wisdom.

What should you expect when adopting internationally or bringing a child into your home from foster care? Check out our discussion with Dr. Robin Gurwitch a licensed clinical psychologist with close to 30 years of experience in evidence-based treatments and the impact of trauma/disaster/terrorism on children. She is a professor in the Department of Psychiatry and Behavioral Sciences at Duke University Medical Center and the Director of Parent-Child Interaction Therapy (PCIT) and Child-Adult Relationship Enhancement (CARE) Training at the Center for Child & Family Health. She has been a National Child Traumatic Stress Network member since 2001.

In this episode, we cover:

• While there are some distinctions, children adopted from US foster care and children adopted internationally have much in common.
• We say that the vast majority of children adopted through foster care or internationally have special needs. In addition to the medical or physical needs we might see, there are also emotional and behavioral needs, and today, we will focus on those needs.
• What are some of the factors that influence the behaviors of children adopted from foster care or adopted abroad?
  • Neglect (lack of stimulation)
  • Abuse
  • Maternal substance abuse and subsequent prenatal exposure to alcohol and drugs
  • Multiple caregivers
  • Institutionalization (multiple caregivers, neglect, removal from birth family)
    • Does the length of time in the institution impact psychological and physical development?
    • May have entered the institution after having lived in a family first.
    • What different types of care are available, and how do these different types of care impact the child’s behavior and development? 
  • Lack of education
  • Child leaving familiar ties and surroundings
• What are some expected or typical behaviors common in children who have experienced these?
  • Attachment issues
  • Food insecurity-how does that look
  • Sleep issues
  • Attention Issues
  • Post-traumatic stress
  • Impacts of prenatal substance abuse
  • Specific Impact of Institutionalization
    • Lack of understanding of the meaning of family
• Parentified children and not seeing adults as a source of meeting needs
• Impacts of neglect
• Impacts of abuse (often, we don’t have reports of abuse in the child’s file)
• How common is sexual abuse in foster care or children in orphanages or institutions abroad? What are the behaviors that might result from sexual abuse?
• Impact of the child leaving familiar ties and surroundings
• What type of parenting is effective at helping kids adjust?
• Setting reasonable expectations.

Support the show

Please leave us a rating or review. This podcast is produced by www.CreatingaFamily.org. We are a national non-profit with the mission to strengthen and inspire adoptive, foster & kinship parents and the professionals who support them.

Creating a Family brings you the following trauma-informed, expert-based content:

• Weekly podcasts
• Weekly articles/blog posts
• Resource pages on all aspects of family building

Click here to send us a topic idea or question for Weekend Wisdom.

Resources:

• Adoption Comparison Charts
• Adoption Agencies (Resource page) 
  • International Agencies (Creating a Family partners)
• Types of Adoption (Resource page)

Support the show

Please leave us a rating or review. This podcast is produced by www.CreatingaFamily.org. We are a national non-profit with the mission to strengthen and inspire adoptive, foster & kinship parents and the professionals who support them.

Creating a Family brings you the following trauma-informed, expert-based content:

• Weekly podcasts
• Weekly articles/blog posts
• Resource pages on all aspects of family building

Click here to send us a topic idea or question for Weekend Wisdom.

Have you ever wondered what adult adoptees really think about adoption? Join us to hear about the Profiles in Adoption: Adult Adoptee Experiences report, based on research by the National Council for Adoption. 

In this episode, we cover:

• Who did you interview for the Profiles in Adoption: Adult Adoptee Experiences report, and how did you find them?
• You separated your responses by type of adoption.
• How satisfied are adult adoptees in general—life satisfaction?
• Did they think that adoption could and did work in their best interest? In the best interest of their birth family? In the best interest of their adoptive family?
• What were their thoughts on openness in adoption?
• For transracial adoptions: Do you believe your adoptive parent(s) did a sufficient job at discussing issues of race/ethnicity with you?
• What were their thoughts on whether to allow transracial adoptions?
• Were adoptees in favor of their families having an annual recognition of adoption?
• Specific questions for those adopted from foster care. P. 25
• Specific questions for those adopted as infants domestically. P. 28
• Specific questions for those adopted internationally P. 30
• Advice for future adoptive parents. P. 32
• What adoptees wish their parents had done differently. p. 41

Support the show

Please leave us a rating or review. This podcast is produced by www.CreatingaFamily.org. We are a national non-profit with the mission to strengthen and inspire adoptive, foster & kinship parents and the professionals who support them.

Creating a Family brings you the following trauma-informed, expert-based content:

• Weekly podcasts
• Weekly articles/blog posts
• Resource pages on all aspects of family building

Click here to send us a topic idea or question for Weekend Wisdom.

Question: We have two boys, ages 10 and 12. We’ve been told that if we become a foster family, the foster children will have to have a room to themselves. Our boys can share a room for another year, but then we want to separate them. Can we just foster for one year? How long do foster kids usually stay?

Resources:

• Becoming a Foster Parent
• Raising Foster Children
• Working with Birth Parents for the Child's Best Interest

Support the show

Please leave us a rating or review. This podcast is produced by www.CreatingaFamily.org. We are a national non-profit with the mission to strengthen and inspire adoptive, foster & kinship parents and the professionals who support them.

Creating a Family brings you the following trauma-informed, expert-based content:

• Weekly podcasts
• Weekly articles/blog posts
• Resource pages on all aspects of family building

Click here to send us a topic idea or question for Weekend Wisdom.

There is a huge need for foster and adoptive homes for LGBTQ+ youth in foster care. We interview Holly Harridan and Dr. Shelly Ronen. Holly is a Senior User Experience Researcher at Bloom Works and an applied Anthropologist with a background in queer and feminist studies.  Dr. Shelly Ronen is a Senior User Experience Researcher at Bloom Works. She has a Ph.D. in Sociology and specializes in gender and sexuality.

In this episode, we cover:

• Terminology. LGBTQ+, LGBTQIA2S+, queer. What does each of the letters mean, and what is correct?
• What is the difference between sexual orientation and gender identity? 
• What are some of the unique challenges faced by LGBTQIA+ youth in foster care?
• What does it mean to have an” affirming” home?
• Some foster and adoptive parents know in advance that the child that they are fostering or adopting identifies as LGBTQ+, but other times, it is something that they find out later. If they know in advance, what are some things they can do to prepare?
• Age-dependent- how to allow exploration without pigeonholing a child too soon?
• How should parents handle it if they suspect their child is queer, but their child or youth does not want to talk about it?
• Are the issues different depending on whether the youth or young adult is lesbian, gay, bisexual, or transgender?
• How can parents encourage healthy romantic relationships?
• What if you’ve been raised to believe that homosexuality is a sin?
• How do you think agencies should balance a commitment to kinship caregivers against a commitment to the safety and affirmation of LGBTQ+ children and youth? 
• What is your response to people who say that since many foster parents are motivated by religious faith, requiring families to affirm LGBTQ+ children and youth would create a placement crisis?
• What resources can foster parents look to for guidance on being affirming of LGBTQ+ children and youth? 

Our goal is to provide a nurturing and supportive environment where LGBTQIA+ foster youth can grow, thrive, and develop a strong sense of self-worth and belonging.

For a list of resources from this episode, visit our post on Creating a Family.

Support the show

Please leave us a rating or review. This podcast is produced by www.CreatingaFamily.org. We are a national non-profit with the mission to strengthen and inspire adoptive, foster & kinship parents and the professionals who support them.

Creating a Family brings you the following trauma-informed, expert-based content:

• Weekly podcasts
• Weekly articles/blog posts
• Resource pages on all aspects of family building

Click here to send us a topic idea or question for Weekend Wisdom.

Question: My husband and I want to adopt a baby. We are working with an adoption attorney, and we have to make a book about us and our lives to be shown to women and girls who are considering adoption for their baby. My husband has full-sleeve tattoos on both arms and on his neck. I am worried that it might be a turnoff for a girl choosing a family. Should we use pictures where his tattoos don’t show to up our chances?

Resources:

• Preparing an Adoptive Parent Profile (video)
• Creating Your Adoptive Parent Profile (article)
• How To Create a Compelling Adoption Profile (1 hr. CreatingaFamilyEd.org online course w/ certificate of completion available)

Support the show

Please leave us a rating or review. This podcast is produced by www.CreatingaFamily.org. We are a national non-profit with the mission to strengthen and inspire adoptive, foster & kinship parents and the professionals who support them.

Creating a Family brings you the following trauma-informed, expert-based content:

• Weekly podcasts
• Weekly articles/blog posts
• Resource pages on all aspects of family building

Click here to send us a topic idea or question for Weekend Wisdom.

Does your child struggle with anger, and do you struggle with how to help them? Tune in to our discussion today with Jessica Sinarski, a certified adoption therapist and author of the picture books Riley the Brave and Your Magic Backpack series. She also serves on the editorial board for The Journal of Child and Adolescent Trauma.

In this episode, we cover:

• All kids get angry, in fact, all people get angry, so how do we know if our kid has bigger issues with anger management?
• Why do kids who have experienced trauma often struggle with anger?
• Does it matter the type of trauma: abuse, neglect, adoption?
• Does the prenatal environment that is not ideal (maternal stress, alcohol or drug exposure, poor nutrition) impact a child’s or youth’s emotional regulation?
• Why do kids seem to overreact—big feelings for what feels like a small issue?
• What are some typical triggers that elicit big responses?
• Steps for managing natural feelings of anger. 
  • Name with few words.
  • Working our way back to calm. Co-regulate back to calm. Suggest a break, model deep breath, let’s stop and think, etc.
  • Give a chance to re-do. Fixing the thing that they broke.
  • Read books about regulating emotions.
  • Lots of physical activity.
• Steps for maintaining connections with big angry feelings. 
  • Compassion for yourself. It feels hard because it is hard. They have a lot to be angry about.
  • PACE-playful, acceptance, curious, empathy (from Daniel Hughes)
• What do you mean by upstairs and downstairs brains? (from Dan Seigel)
• How do we help our kids understand why they are reacting the way they do and how to handle their feelings better?

Resources:

• Brave Brains
• Hands Are Not for Hitting by Martine Agassi (ages 0-6)
• My Many Colored Days by Dr. Seuss (ages 0-6)
• Ravi’s Roar by Tom Percival
• Grumpy Monkey by Suzanne Lang
• Gorilla’s Muscles
• The Riley the Brave series (including Riley the Brave’s Big Feelings Activity Book)
• Hello, Anger (age 7-13)
• Samantha Snowden’s Anger Management Workbook for Kids (age 7-13)
• Your Amazing Brain: The Epic Illustrated Guide (age 8+)
• “Unpacking Anger” (blog post with additional recommended

Support the show

Please leave us a rating or review. This podcast is produced by www.CreatingaFamily.org. We are a national non-profit with the mission to strengthen and inspire adoptive, foster & kinship parents and the professionals who support them.

Creating a Family brings you the following trauma-informed, expert-based content:

• Weekly podcasts
• Weekly articles/blog posts
• Resource pages on all aspects of family building