This past week I realized I had been getting tense, off balanced, or stressed about things to a greater alarm than typical. Some events planned, some spontaneous, and others happening to me. 

I found myself using a variation of a phrase that never felt really proper: "Life got in the way."

So, this podcast takes the opportunity to improv the topic even though I've only half digested it in the past and was planning on discussing at some point down the road.

Also, don't make choices in life - make decisions. There is a subtle difference that invites ownership and responsibility. 

I get a little long in the tooth reminiscing on a formative lesson I learned early on in my Marine Corps career regarding loyalty. It started the process of really thinking about the deeper and finer aspects of relationship bonds vs right & wrong and detangling emotions, convenience, sympathy, laziness, mood, etc... when trying to rationalize.

I wanted to use the specifics of a family situation but felt it would be too insulting or, at minimum, cause hurt through exposing circumstance. But, I think we can say the conversation is planted well enough for each their own to appreciate the finer elements and explore their thoughts. 

A collection of half developed comments that popped up while on the road the last 12days. It all revolves around what I'm trying to identify as a root cause to some of the problems we face in our lives today. 

My identifying isn't to find fault and fix blame, it's more to build a set of items for self investigation into where I add to the problem in my life and where I can start to repair.

I started out not really having anything much to dig through this week. This led me into trying to develop something for an audience to 'please them powerfully' and it felt less than right. 

It then related into trying to be someone that we assume another wants us or would like us to be. Pleasing others in a sort. I make an attempt to pick at that a little and appreciate why personal authenticity is pretty special.

This episode started out as a small mini rant, absent strong emotion, and evolved into a reflection. I'm determined to remain tolerant, compassionate, considerate, respectful, and courteous regardless of what is going on for me. Having a sense of personal awareness and social presence seems lost on too many too often.

Hey man, super fragile in sharing this. Not looking for fixes, ideas, pity, sympathy, judgment, help, motivation, worry, or anything. Simply needed to open up and share.

My hesitation mostly comes from now, interactions with anyone who has listened will be altered - tedious or over sensitive and awkward.

I do have a renewed idea of what my role is in support of others in managing the very same.

I've recognized that I'm pretty critical and judgmental in identifying others' manner recently. It pops up in my thoughts more and more frequently and is less protected through my language than it has been before. Now, I am hyper aware of how it manifests in my advice I try to offer when queried or how I may be unduly reinforcing the same negative patterns in others. At a minimum, I am being unfair to those I am being critical of.

There's room for different manners in execution that can still be authentic and purposeful even though they don't fit and pattern against our own beliefs or values. Maybe to be laconic, I'm just trying to fix my skewed tolerance. 

Finding myself frustrated with the Government and the loss of civility & collegiality in Politics. It amazes me that there is such an absence in fundamental Leadership and Humanity among the elected to represent the People and Country.

And the Media's role in manipulating, sensationalizing, polarizing and preying on the common citizen.

I hope everyone gets through the false close and into the last 90sec thought.

Talking my way through my desire to be an extra on someone else's set vs spending more energy on my own main character. Despite trying to bullshit myself that I am fine or don't, there are a handful of indicators and signals that I'm in fault.

I feel repurposed and energized moving forward after this one.

I want to be my own main character so I can author the story that sets conditions for my children and immediate loved ones to have the opportunity for the best possible story for themselves.
 

A conversation about struggling in the moment and the awareness in it for the small win. Putting a small action together on the heels of the awareness creates a lifting sensation and opens up the opportunity to reinforce a positive pattern in the eventuality of the next struggle.