Dad Starting Over

Luke writes in to ask how to overcome feelings of abandonment from his ex-wife. He feels stuck, resentful, and alone after building his life around her. DSO empathizes with Luke's situation but encourages him to take control of his life and see this as an opportunity for growth. He suggests finding new ways to make money, embracing the freedom to pursue personal interests, and seeking support from communities like the DSO Fraternity. DSO emphasizes the importance of accepting the reality and using this experience to create a new and fulfilling chapter in life.

The DSO Fraternity

DSO addresses a listener's struggle with a low-sex relationship. DSO explains the dynamics of anxious and avoidant attachment styles and offers insights into the complexities of these situations. He suggests reading his book, "The Dead Bedroom Fix," and seeking medical advice for erectile dysfunction. DSO emphasizes the importance of self-reflection and personal growth before blaming the partner. Tune in for valuable advice on navigating a challenging relationship.

Vanessa has been engaged for seven years but can't seem to get her partner to commit to marriage. Despite being together for 18 years and having two children, her partner is hesitant to tie the knot. Vanessa is starting to feel resentment and wants to know how to stop it from building further. DSo suggests asking her partner what specifically scares him about marriage and why it's so important to her. He advises Vanessa to either accept the situation, find a compromise, or consider calling it quits.

Jared, a divorced father, seeks advice on whether to continue doing activities as a family with his ex-wife and kids. The host suggests setting boundaries and prioritizing his own emotional well-being. While some argue that it's best for the children, the host emphasizes the importance of detaching emotionally and expediting the separation process. Listeners share their opinions, with one mentioning that if it's painful for either party, the kids will sense it. The host concludes that it's normal to still have lingering feelings but advises saying no and focusing on what's best for the children.

In this episode, DSO explores the common scenario of one partner being anxious and the other avoidant in a relationship. He offers advice on finding a middle ground and bridging the gap between the two. While the anxious partner may be willing to put in the work, the avoidant partner may resist constant attempts to fix things. DSO emphasizes that both partners have work to do and need to find a more secure center. Tune in for valuable insights on navigating this dynamic.

In this episode, DSO explores the possibility of moving from an avoidant to a secure attachment style in relationships. He emphasizes that both anxious and avoidant individuals have their own challenges to work on, and it takes professional help and effort from both sides to find a balance. DSO also discusses the frustration that anxious individuals may feel when their avoidant partners struggle to make progress. He shares personal experiences and highlights the difficulties of being with an avoidant person.

Jason, or "Coach J" as he is known by our group, is one of the founding members of the DSO Fraternity and acts as the director for our DSO coaches. J has recently retired from the U.S. Army and brings with him a wealth of life experience.

In this very candid conversation, DSO and Coach J talk about what got him into the world of Dad Starting Over, his struggles, and his current extremely stressful life situation with divorce and his ex-wife's alcohol addiction issues.

Thank you, J, for all that you do for us!

Book time with Coach J: https://dadstartingover.com/coaching/jason

Join our DSO Fraternity and get big discounts on coaching and A LOT more: https://dsofraternity.com

In this episode, DSO explores the sensitive topic of men feeling forgotten after having children. He shares the negative response he received from women when pointing out this issue and questions whether men are truly not helping or if their efforts are being overlooked. DSO emphasizes the importance of open communication and understanding between partners to bridge the gap and maintain a strong romantic connection amidst the challenges of parenthood. A thought-provoking discussion on the dynamics of modern relationships and the need for mutual support.

Key Takeaways:

• Men often feel forgotten and sidelined in a partnership after children are born, which can spark negative reactions, particularly from women.
• The common critique from women retorts that if men were more involved in childcare and household duties, they wouldn't feel marginalized.
• The host challenges this critique, noting that many men are already significantly involved in domestic roles and responsibilities.
• Discussions highlight the importance of partnership and communication in tackling the changes that come with parenthood.
• The host suggests the need for empathy and understanding, particularly from women, when men express feelings of neglect or the desire for attention.

In this episode, DSO addresses a listener's concerns about their wife's suspicious behavior. From late-night phone use to financial infidelity, the signs are troubling. DSO advises the listener to prioritize their safety and consult with an attorney before making any decisions. The episode explores the importance of recognizing unhealthy patterns and taking action to protect oneself. With a focus on self-reflection and seeking professional help, DSO offers guidance on navigating a difficult situation.

Key Takeaways:

• Financial and potential emotional infidelity can be grounds for ending a relationship even in the absence of physical cheating.
• Secretive behavior and drastic changes in routine or attitude may be indicative of deeper issues within a partnership.
• It's crucial to prioritize personal safety and well-being in the face of an unstable partner who exhibits rage and potentially harmful behavior.
• Consulting with an attorney can be a proactive step towards understanding one's rights and options in a troubled marriage.
• Addressing one's own reasons for staying in a damaging relationship is as important as dealing with the partner's issues.

In this episode, DSO addresses a common concern: how to explain a difficult divorce without resorting to labeling an ex as "crazy." He advises being open and honest about the challenges faced, without hiding the truth or trying to win favor. By sharing the reality of the situation, potential partners can make an informed decision. DSO emphasizes the importance of transparency and authenticity, even if it means potentially scaring away some people. Tune in for valuable insights on navigating post-divorce relationships.

Key Takeaways:

• It's crucial to be honest about past relationships without using stigmatizing or dismissive language like "my ex was crazy."
• When speaking about contentious divorces and personality disorders, focus on being transparent about the situation while maintaining integrity.
• The truth of personal experiences is fundamental and should not be compromised for the sake of others' perceptions.
• There is strength in vulnerability and honesty, and it's okay if some people are not comfortable with your past or current situation.
• The judgment of whether to believe one's story ultimately lies with the listener, and it's essential to be okay with that.