Dam Internet, You Scary!

Dam Internet, You Scary!

By Patrick Cloud, Tahir MooreComedyTrue CrimeComedy Interviews
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Dam Internet, You Scary! episodes

  • 352: Craig Wayans on Scary Movie 6, Cockroach Milk & Internet Chaos on DIYS

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    Dam Internet, You Scary! hosts Patrick Cloud and Tahir Moore break down the disturbing but interesting stories on the internet!

    Craig Wayans joins the podcast and things immediately spiral into chaos 😂 We talk burner accounts, weird foods, cockroach milk, lab-grown meat, airline disasters, conspiracy theories, crazy intrusive thoughts, and some of the funniest stories we’ve had on the show in a long time.

    PLUS: Craig talks Scary Movie returning, comedy legends, and the wildest things people have admitted to doing.

    #DamInternetYouScary #CraigWayans #ComedyPodcast

    Join our Patreon now!! 
    https://www.patreon.com/DamInternetYouScary

    00:00 Intro & Burner Account Talk
    02:46 Instagram Explore Pages Exposed 😂
    04:08 Craig Wayans Joins The Show
    06:00 Scary Movie Returns
    08:05 Kevin Hart’s Funny AF & Ron Taylor Winning
    11:16 Comedy Stories & ComicView Talk
    17:00 Sponsor - GLD
    18:06 If You Could Solve One Mystery…
    24:24 Petty Superpowers Debate 😂
    27:39 Charles Darwin Ate Weird Animals?!
    30:05 Weird Foods We’ve Tried
    34:06 Sponsor - Cash App
    36:10 Lab-Grown Meat Debate
    40:15 Cockroach Milk Is REAL 😭
    48:14 Sponsor - BlueChew
    49:16 Beekeeper Attacks Police With Bees 🐝
    52:48 Hugh Jackman Thought Wolverines Were Wolves 😂
    55:01 Wedding DJ Allegedly Killed Chickens
    56:18 Virus Outbreak On Cruise Ships
    01:00:26 Passenger Opens Plane Exit Door
    01:02:02 Sponsor - BetterHelp
    01:03:20 Intrusive Thoughts & Peeing In Sinks 😭
    01:07:14 Craig’s INSANE Towel Story 😂
    01:10:26 Plane Hits Bakery Truck
    01:12:22 Spirit Airlines Shutting Down?
    01:18:22 Final Thoughts & Outros

    1 hr 21 min
  • 351: $34K LEGO SCAM?! on DIYS

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    Dam Internet, You Scary! hosts Patrick Cloud and Tahir Moore break down the disturbing but interesting stories on the internet!

    Join our Patreon now!! 
    https://www.patreon.com/DamInternetYouScary

    Topics include:

    A tiger escaping into a live circus crowd in Russia
    A nationwide LEGO scam using pasta to fake returns
    A man faking heart attacks to avoid paying restaurant bills
    A bizarre insurance scam involving a “bear attack” on a luxury car
    A kidnapping expert who was kidnapped after giving a lecture
    AI scams tricking people online
    New laws about boiling lobsters alive

    00:00 Intro + BuzzFeed & Roast Talk
    06:00 Icebreakers & Wild Hypotheticals
    12:50 Toothbrush vs Underwear Debate
    15:40 Poland “American Roleplay” Event
    21:20 Viral “Black People Are Bigger” Discussion
    23:10 Sponsor – Hims (Weight Loss)
    26:20 Tiger Escapes Into Circus Crowd (Russia)
    30:00 Bear Tranquilizer Rescue Video
    32:50 Movie Industry, Remakes & Casting Debate
    37:00 Sponsor – FÜM
    39:40 $34K LEGO Pasta Scam Breakdown
    44:50 Man Fakes Heart Attacks to Avoid Paying Bills
    48:10 Sponsor – BlueChew
    50:15 Kidnapping Expert Kidnapped (Felix Batista Case)
    54:30 Real Missing Person Case Discussion
    57:20 AI Scams & Internet Dangers
    59:30 Fake Bear Attack Insurance Scam
    01:02:00 Lobsters & Animal Sentience Debate
    01:08:30 Firefighters Rescue Pigs… Then Eat Them?!
    01:12:30 Fish Video & Final Thoughts
    01:13:20 Outro + Announcements

    1 hr 15 min
  • 350: Uber Eats Hack + Nurse Assault + 50,000-Year Meat?! on DIYS

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    We start with a painful dental situation and a comedy set gone wrong… then somehow end up discussing a woman who increased her delivery tips using feet pics 😳

    In between that, things get wild:

    A nurse commits one of the craziest assaults we’ve ever heard
    A hidden shotgun bed that makes zero sense
    A real college offering a BBQ degree
    And scientists eating 50,000-year-old meat 🤢

    Just a fun conversation with a lot of laughs.

    00:00 – Tooth Pain, 7-Eleven Mistake & Comedy Bomb Story
    02:49 – Bombing at the Comedy Store Breakdown
    05:20 – Dental Emergency & Cost of Treatment
    09:45 – Podcast Intro + Cost of Living Discussion
    13:39 – Financial Stress & Industry Reality
    14:05 – BetterHelp Ad (Mental Health & Stress)
    16:21 – Life Feels Weird Right Now (Discussion)
    17:04 – Cruise Ship Comedy & Opportunities
    21:13 – Icebreaker: Kid Throws Up in Store
    23:02 – Being Recognized (But Not Really 😂)
    27:00 – Would You Embarrass Yourself for $500?
    27:42 – $1M Button That Kills Someone Debate
    31:30 – Factor Meals Ad (Food & Convenience)
    34:38 – Nurse Smears Dirty Diaper on Coworker 😳
    37:20 – Healthcare Worker Burnout Discussion
    42:48 – Hidden Shotgun Bed (Bad Idea 😂)
    46:57 – Cash App Ad (Paying Friends Easily)
    50:07 – BBQ College Degree in China?!
    57:28 – Mint Mobile Ad (Cheap Phone Plans)
    01:00:40 – Eating 50,000-Year-Old Meat Story 🤢
    01:09:28 – Feet Pics Increase Delivery Tips?!
    01:12:27 – Foot Fetish Discussion Gets Personal 😭
    01:14:03 – Outro + Upcoming Shows

    1 hr 16 min
  • 349: Would You Hire Strippers for a Funeral?! on DIYS w/ @YouKnowMaaacus ​

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     @YouKnowMaaacus   joins Dam Internet, You Scary! for a fun conversation covering everything from family and culture to wild internet stories and real-life topics.

    This episode includes:

    the surprising truth about funeral strippers
    petty things people secretly judge others for
    controversial food conversations (gator, frog legs, more)
    a chess player who spent 67 minutes on one move and still lost
    the most dangerous jobs in the world
    social media negativity and online behavior
    gambling risks and real-life consequences
    traveling and how it changes your mindset

    Marcus also talks about his comedy special “Country Boy in the City” and growing up with strong family values. 

    Watch the special here: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AOj1dt3bkdc

    A fun conversation with laughs, real talk, and some unexpected topics.

    Subscribe for more episodes of Dam Internet, You Scary! featuring conversations, internet stories, and plenty of laughs.

    00:00 Intro + Marcus Roast + Suits Conversation
    00:02:26 Prom Story + Women’s Blazer Reveal
    00:03:07 Living Single Dancer Discussion
    00:04:00 Can Soul Train Ever Exist Again?
    00:05:08 Club Culture vs Dance Floors Debate
    00:06:40 Expensive Clubs + Bottle Service Reality
    00:07:35 Worst Comedy Venue Stories
    00:10:14 Marcus Smith Introduction
    00:11:05 Comedy Special “Country Boy in the City”
    00:12:05 Family, Mom, and Southern Upbringing
    00:14:27 Living Near Family vs Independence
    00:16:32 Icebreaker + Indacloud Ad
    00:18:34 Petty Judgments People Won’t Admit
    00:20:25 Wild Relationship Confessions Discussion
    00:22:46 Controversial Foods (Gator, Frog Legs)
    00:32:31 BlueChew Ad
    00:33:45 Funeral Strippers Story
    00:36:01 Business Idea Joke + Reactions
    00:37:05 Chess Player Thinks 67 Minutes and Loses
    00:40:15 Viral Chess Drama + Reporting Opponent
    00:42:36 Gambling Stories + Rapper Risks
    00:44:22 Social Media Negativity Discussion
    00:46:12 Rapper Safety + Street Mentality
    00:49:17 DaBaby Fan Art Situation
    00:50:37 Social Media Toxicity + Division Talk
    00:59:05 Ultra Pouches Ad
    01:01:00 Importance of Environment + Perspective
    01:02:12 Travel Changing Mindset
    01:06:51 Happiness Outside America Discussion
    01:07:14 Guessing Deadliest Jobs
    01:09:01 Deadliest Jobs Revealed
    01:11:29 Crab Fishing Dangers Explained
    01:13:16 Marcus Smith Plug + Outro

    Comment below:
    Would you go to a funeral with strippers or is that too far?

    1 hr 15 min
  • 348: Toxic Traits, Scams, and Mummies on DIYS w/Dion Lack

    stories, real-life scams, and hilarious conversations.

    This episode covers everything from toxic traits in arguments to crazy internet stories that sound fake but are real.

    Topics include:

    •  a man stealing a shark using a baby stroller 
    •  ghost Uber driver scams that tricked riders 
    •  Victorian mummy unwrapping parties (yes, really) 
    •  real podcast scams targeting creators 
    •  Facebook and marketplace scam stories 
    •  near-death choking moments 
    •  weird human habits and social behavior 
    •  last words before execution and last meal debates 
    • Plus plenty of jokes, personal stories, and random conversations throughout.

      A fun episode with lots of laughs and some genuinely wild stories.

      Subscribe to Dam Internet, You Scary! for weekly episodes featuring weird internet stories, conversations, and plenty of laughs.

      Drop a comment:
       Which story was the craziest — the shark theft, ghost Uber scam, or mummy parties?

       00:00 Intro, Roasting, and Show Start
       00:01:02 Guest Co-Host Dion Lac Introduction
       00:02:05 Hip Hop Trivia Show and Content Rollout
       00:03:07 Editing Struggles and Content Creation Reality
       00:04:07 Icebreaker Segment Begins
       00:04:59 Pet Peeve: Getting Out of the Car Late
       00:07:18 Pretending Not to See Someone in Public
       00:10:02 Is Beef Contagious Between Friends?
       00:12:42 Deleting Old Tweets and Social Media Cleanup
       00:15:27 Super Chat and Audience Interaction
       00:16:03 Toxic Traits in Arguments
       00:18:20 Apologizing Too Quickly Discussion
       00:19:04 Story Options: Ghost Uber, Mummies, Shark Theft
       00:20:19 Shark Stolen in Baby Stroller Story
       00:24:56 Ghost Uber Driver Scam Explained
       00:30:11 Podcast Scam Warning (Important)
       00:32:54 Facebook Account Scam Experience
       00:35:15 Piano Scam Story Breakdown
       00:40:27 Victorian Mummy Unwrapping Parties
       00:45:55 Burial, Cremation, and Tree Pod Discussion
       00:47:54 Chopstick Stuck in Throat for 8 Years
       00:50:45 Choking Stories and Near-Death Moments
       00:54:46 Tonsil Stones Explained
       00:57:20 Disturbing Last Words Before Execution
       00:58:38 Last Meal Debate
       01:00:56 Dion’s Comedy Show Promotion
       01:03:06 Outro

      1 hr 4 min
    • 347: Date Like A Salesman on DIYS w/@Charliewilsontvlive

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      Patrick Cloud sits down with comedian, host, and  luxury car salesman Charlie Wilson for one of the most honest and insightful conversations on Damn Internet, You Scary!

      This episode covers Charlie’s wild career journey from Louisiana to Dallas to New York to Vegas to Chicago to Los Angeles, and how he built a life across car sales, stand-up comedy, hosting, producing, and live entertainment.

      They talk about:

      what it was really like selling Volkswagens, Cadillacs, Range Rovers, and Maseratis
      how car sales taught Charlie how to read people and close
      how he got into stand-up comedy
      his first TV pilot experience
      how he became the host of a Star Wars burlesque show
      what life on the road is really like with live entertainment residencies
      tea rituals, anxiety, and creating a calmer morning routine
      stretching, health, and protecting your body while working nights
      leaving comfort behind to build something bigger
      why fear keeps people from betting on themselves
      how to balance multiple careers while still chasing the long game

      This episode is a real conversation about hustle, reinvention, timing, and building a creative life that actually fits who you are.

      Subscribe to Damn Internet, You Scary! for more weekly episodes, interviews, weird internet stories, and real conversations.

      00:00 LA Noise, Sleep, and Fan Talk
      00:03:32 Charlie’s Backstory: Louisiana, Dallas, New York, Vegas, Chicago, LA
      00:05:24 Show Intro and Introducing Charlie Wilson
      00:06:06 How Charlie Got Into Selling Cars
      00:08:22 From Volkswagen to Maserati
      00:09:53 Cars First, Then Comedy
      00:11:31 Why Selling Cars Is Like Dating
      00:13:08 How Charlie Knew Entertainment Was the Goal
      00:14:31 First Open Mic and Early TV Pilot Experience
      00:16:11 How the Star Wars Burlesque Show Happened
      00:20:33 What a Star Wars Burlesque Show Day Actually Looks Like
      00:24:06 What Charlie Does as the Host of the Show
      00:26:21 Behind the Scenes of the Star Wars Burlesque Cast
      00:29:00 Tea Rituals, Anxiety, and Daily Calm
      00:32:15 Charlie’s Favorite Teas and Why He Drinks Them
      00:35:10 Nighttime Tea, Sleep, and Better Routines
      00:36:17 Stretching, Content Ideas, and Building a Wellness Brand
      00:37:37 Why Morning Rituals Became Non-Negotiable
      00:42:28 Balancing Nightlife Work with Health and Recovery
      00:45:08 Leaving Comfort to Build Something Bigger
      00:46:58 Why Fear Keeps People Stuck
      00:50:14 Finding Time for Comedy While Working Multiple Jobs
      00:52:14 Star Wars Hosting as the Perfect Compromise
      00:53:56 How Big Opportunities Can Change the Whole Grind
      00:56:01 Bingo Loco and Charlie’s Other Hosting Gig
      00:57:54 Creating Original Live Experiences and Bigger Career Vision
      01:00:13 Seasons of Life, Career Pivots, and Timing
      01:01:13 Closing Thoughts and Why This Conversation Matters
      01:02:34 Charlie’s Upcoming Shows and Where to Follow Him
      01:03:28 Outro
      01:04:56 Ad Read Section Begins
      01:05:33 Mint Mobile Ad
      01:08:09 Füm Ad
      01:10:10 Ad Read Debrief and ChatGPT Writing Talk

      Join our Patreon now!! 
      https://www.patreon.com/DamInternetYouScary

      1 hr 2 min
    • 346: A Racehorse Became Soup on DIYS w/Brandon Cormell

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      Patrick Cloud is joined by Brandon Cormell for a full episode of Dam Internet, You Scary! packed with weird news, hilarious debates, and internet stories that somehow keep getting stranger.

      This episode starts with a real conversation about writing, improv, and when actors should stick to the script, then quickly turns into one of those classic DIYS episodes where the topics go completely off the rails.

      They get into:

      whether you would eat the same meal every day to be perfectly healthy
      whether hunting is better than being hunted
      trading years of your life for money
      a racehorse that was secretly turned into soup
      the worst things people have found in their food
      the woman who caused an emergency landing by lighting matches after farting on a plane
      fake airplane parts being sold to major airlines
      a family bringing a dead relative to the bank as proof of death
      awkward teenage penguins
      a WWII pigeon carrying a coded message
      a beetle photo that looks like a masked human face
      the creepy dead bride mannequin legend
      folklore creatures, Gumberoo, and why Bigfoot might be old news
      Lots of laughs, a few dark turns, and plenty of “how is this real?” moments.

      Subscribe for more episodes of Damn Internet, You Scary!

      Join our Patreon now!! 
      https://www.patreon.com/DamInternetYouScary

      00:00 Intro: Writing, Improv, and Letting Actors Cook
      00:00:46 Patrick Introduces the Show and Guest Host Brandon Cormell
      00:01:27 What It’s Like Being a Writer
      00:02:07 When Actors Go Off Script
      00:03:22 Icebreakers Begin
      00:03:46 Would You Eat the Same Meal Every Day to Be Healthy?
      00:06:10 Would You Rather Be Hunted or Hunt to Survive?
      00:07:57 Would You Trade 5 Years of Life for $10 Million?
      00:09:02 Racehorse Secretly Slaughtered and Served in a Soup Kitchen
      00:12:51 BlueChew Ad
      00:15:21 Worst Thing You’ve Ever Found in Food
      00:18:40 Woman Causes Emergency Landing After Lighting Matches for Her Farts
      00:23:27 Plane Confessions and Blaming the Wrong Person
      00:25:43 Fake Airplane Parts Sold to Real Airlines
      00:30:10 Fear of Flying, Boeing Talk, and Pilot Sleep Stories
      00:32:48 Family Brings Dead Relative to the Bank for Proof of Death
      00:34:39 Factor Ad
      00:36:48 Inheritance Drama and Why Death Brings Out the Worst in People
      00:38:34 Teenage Penguins Look Awkward as Hell
      00:40:59 The WWII Carrier Pigeon That Never Delivered Its Message
      00:45:04 Creepy Beetle Photo That Looks Like a Human Face
      00:47:10 Animal Cruelty, Horse Racing, and Pit Bull Stereotypes
      00:48:06 Kikoff Ad
      00:50:54 Dead Bride Mannequin Urban Legend
      00:54:25 Day of the Dead, Coco, and When a Person Really Dies
      00:57:55 Gumbo Roux Folklore and the Lumberjack Era
      01:01:20 Is Bigfoot Old News? Frog Man and Modern Folklore
      01:02:20 Brandon Promotes The Airport
      01:03:45 Patrick’s Closing Plugs and Outro

      1 hr 5 min
    • 345: Tahir Took a Greyhound and Immediately Regretted It

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      Dam Internet, You Scary! hosts Patrick Cloud and Tahir Moore break down the disturbing but interesting stories on the internet!

      This episode starts with Tahir explaining why he ended up taking a Greyhound bus during a comedy tour and how the trip quickly became a story he will never forget.

      The conversation moves into several bizarre internet stories including:

      • Ray-Ban smart glasses and privacy concerns
      • A fake nurse who treated thousands of patients
      • A food vlogger who died after eating a poisonous crab
      • People paying $200,000 for cryogenic freezing after death

      Along the way the hosts debate survival strategies, discuss internet culture, and share some hilarious hypotheticals.

      Lots of laughs and a great conversation throughout.

      Join our Patreon now!! 
      https://www.patreon.com/DamInternetYouScary

      00:00 Intro & Greyhound Story Begins
      00:01 Comedy Tour Chaos Before the Bus Ride
      00:04 Why Tahir Took a Greyhound Instead of Flying
      00:05 The Greyhound Bus Experience
      00:08 Grinding Through Comedy Struggles
      00:11 BetterHelp Sponsor Message
      00:14 Would You Fake Your Own Death?
      00:21 Survival Island Debate
      00:26 Would You Eat Raw Fish to Survive?
      00:27 Naked and Afraid Seasoning Debate
      00:33 Meta Ray-Ban Smart Glasses Privacy Concerns
      00:37 Fake Nurse Treated 4,000 Patients
      00:42 Food Vlogger Dies After Eating Poisonous Crab
      00:45 In The Cloud Sponsor Message
      00:46 What Is a Semicolon? Grammar Debate
      00:50 The Fudge Shop Musical Performance Story
      00:55 People Paying $200K for Cryogenic Freezing
      00:59 Aliens Reviving Humans?
      01:00 Outro

      1 hr 1 min
    • 344: How Scary are Ghosts, Really? on DIYS w/Jordan Conley

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      Dam Internet, You Scary! hosts Patrick Cloud and Tahir Moore break down the disturbing but interesting stories on the internet!

      This episode gets wild as Patrick Cloud and guest Jordan Conley dive into the strangest stories from the internet.

      Topics include:

      • Scientists teaching human brain cells to play Doom
      • The possibility of a robot apocalypse
      • A mysterious Frog Man cryptid sighting
      • The chilling Villisca Ax Murder ghost story
      • Pokémon debates and apocalypse survival plans

      If you enjoy weird internet stories, conspiracies, and hilarious commentary, this episode is for you.

      Subscribe for new episodes of Dam Internet You Scary every week.

      00:00 Intro + Jordan Conley Joins
      01:11 Finding the Show on Social Media
      03:27 Icebreaker: Top 3 Pokémon
      08:33 Would You Fight a Wolf or Outrun Bees?
      12:41 Movie Deaths and Dark Disney Moments
      14:47 Sponsor: Cash App
      16:21 Pokémon Evolutions + Chat Jokes
      17:47 Could You Survive a Year Underground?
      20:13 Costco Apocalypse Survival Strategy
      24:36 Human Brain Cells Playing Doom
      28:49 Robot Apocalypse Theory
      32:50 Sponsor: GLD Jewelry
      36:00 The Computer Loading Icon Has a Weird Name
      39:30 The Skunk Creature Legend
      41:43 Frog Man Sightings Explained
      44:04 Sponsor: BlueChew
      45:29 AI Videos and Fake Paranormal Footage
      47:54 The Villisca Ax Murder Ghost
      54:02 Haunted House Tours
      01:03:00 Jordan Conley Plugs Comedy Show
      01:06:55 Episode Outro

      Join our Patreon now!! 
      https://www.patreon.com/DamInternetYouScary

      1 hr 8 min
    • 343: Are Americans Really the Worst Tourists? on DIYS with BT Kingsley

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      🎟 Tour Dates

      Catch Tahir live:
      Columbus, OH – March 6
      Louisville, KY – March 7 (Birthday Show!)
      Chattanooga, TN – March 8

      Tickets available via Tahir’s Instagram bio.

      Guest:  @BTKingsley5225 https://www.instagram.com/btkingsley  @KillinItPod  

      Dam Internet, You Scary! hosts Patrick Cloud and Tahir Moore break down the disturbing but interesting stories on the internet!

      Is Waymo about to replace Uber? Would you rather survive a plane crash or a shipwreck? And is Sony really making TVs that force you to shout brand names to skip ads?!

      In this episode of Dam Internet, You Scary!, Tahir Moore and Patrick Cloud are joined by B.T. Kingsley to break down:

      Self-driving cars taking over cities
      Sony’s interactive ad patent
      A $160,000 diamond traded for $20 worth of weed
      Plastic surgery travelers detained at airports
      The future of rap music longevity
      Subscription EVERYTHING in America
      And some of the pettiest icebreakers ever

      Plus, real talk about comedy, respect for craft, and why everybody thinks they can “just try stand-up.”

      00:00 – Gym Before Shows & Birthday Goals
      02:50 – Lying for Chaos & Losing Celebrity Mystery
      06:50 – Personal Opinions & Internet Sensitivity
      09:40 – Giving Advice in Comedy & Content Creation
      16:25 – Is Comedy Central Dead? Industry Evolution
      17:40 – Ultra Ad Read
      20:25 – Introducing B.T. Kingsley
      24:10 – Icebreakers: Plane Crash vs Shipwreck
      28:10 – Would You Eat Something Gross to Avoid Getting Sick?
      30:45 – Waymo Paying DoorDash Drivers?!
      33:00 – The Future of Driving & Flying Cars
      38:20 – Mint Mobile Ad Read
      41:05 – Sony TV Patent: Shout Brand Names to Skip Ads
      46:30 – UPS Worker Traded $160K Diamond for $20 Weed
      52:10 – Plastic Surgery Passport Problems
      56:30 – How the World Views Americans
      58:00 – Why Is McDonald's Always Packed?
      1:03:10 – Kickoff Credit Builder Ad
      1:07:10 – The State of Rap & Respecting Creative Craft
      1:15:30 – Tour Dates & Closing

      Join our Patreon now!! 
      https://www.patreon.com/DamInternetYouScary

      1 hr 18 min

    About Dam Internet, You Scary!

    From the publisher's feed

    THE BOYS ARE BACK!! FROM THE ALL DEF PODCAST: "THE INTERNET IS UNDEFEATED" COMES A NEW SPINOFF SHOW CALLED "DAM INTERNET, YOU SCARY!!"Hosts Tahir Moore and Patrick Cloud break down the hilarious…

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