Dam Internet, You Scary!

Welcome to the pilot episode of Conspiracy Corner! Hosts Tahir Moore and Patrick Cloud kick off the series with an epic dive into strange phenomena, ancient mysteries, and modern tech paranoia. Special guest CP joins to explore how seemingly unrelated conspiracies—from walking trees to ancient aliens—might all be connected.

This episode covers:

It’s a wild, funny, and thought-provoking start to the series. Strap in and question everything!

🤣 Welcome back to another wild ride on Dam Internet, You Scary! This week we’ve got your kid’s favorite teacher and internet chaos gremlin — Sam Salem — back in the building! 🎤🍽️

https://www.instagram.com/samuelsleeves

We are talking about: 
🥞 Writing essays at IHOP
🔥 Petty clapbacks to internet trolls
🐶 Why he refuses to call the dog “his”
📞 Garfield phones mysteriously washing up on beaches
🧱 And yes… the Bricked Up Boys are officially a thing now 👀💀

Also…
👩🏽‍🚀 Ocean vs. Space debate gets weird
📦 A Chinese business owner drives 500 miles to throw hands over a bad review
🤯 The weirdest compliment Sam ever got from a troll

💬 Hosted by Tahir Moore & Patrick Cloud
📺 New episodes every week with the funniest people on the internet.
👊🏾 Don’t forget to LIKE, COMMENT, & SUBSCRIBE — or we might mail your roast to your job 📫🔥

🔗 Chapters & Timestamps below!
#DIYS #DamnInternetYouScary #SamSalem #ComedyPodcast #BrickedUpBoys #GarfieldPhone #PettyLevel100 #IHOPEssays

00:00 – Sam Salem Returns: Panic Writing & Pancake Strategy
02:30 – Sam’s Secret Weapon: All-You-Can-Eat Pancakes
06:00 – Ginger Identity, Black Culture & Locks Debate
13:30 – AI, Black Twitter & Sam’s Viral Videos
17:00 – Cowboy Carter & Beyoncé Concert FOMO
21:30 – Country Remixes That Shouldn’t Exist
28:00 – The “Dog That Lives In My House”
35:00 – Bricked Up Lifestyle & BlueChew Madness
41:00 – The Great Garfield Phone Mystery
44:30 – Internet Trolls, Doxxing, and Petty Revenge
53:00 – Space vs Ocean: What’s Scarier?
1:02:00 – DIYS Sign-Off & Final Laughs

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A crow that attacks ONE person every day?! Parrots ordering snacks on Alexa?? Cartel graveyards with air conditioning and balconies?! This episode of Dam Internet, You Scary! is full of the most insane real-life stories that’ll leave you shook and in stitches.

💀 From birds with vendettas to million-dollar mausoleums, Tahir, Patrick, and guest Chris Sneed break it all down with nonstop laughs and wild takes.

🎟️ Plus: Chris Sneed is filming his stand-up special “I Need Urgent Care” on June 26th at the Regent Theater — don’t miss it!
https://www.ticketmaster.com/event/0900627BE3654976?fbclid=PAZXh0bgNhZW0CMTEAAaeaIzJ6tdwJsC5yVBOdn-IQ-BjTplSDJedGGtgu390WM6HPUY4cNC1mq4vUyA_aem_KwNEdvAIjRpICjH3j9Jj-A

🔔 Subscribe now for more hilarious episodes:  @DamInternetYouScary

🎙️ Producer:  @HippieGoals

📱 Follow the hosts:
 @tahirmoore   |  @PatrickCloudChannel  

Guest:  Chris Sneed https://www.instagram.com/itschrissneed/

🕒 CHAPTERS:
Join our Patreon now!! 
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This episode of Damn Internet, You Scary! is a full-blown ride.

Guest: Devonte West https://www.instagram.com/_devontewest/

Devonte West joins Tahir Moore and Patrick Cloud for an unhinged convo that covers:

Snail trail face masks 🐌
Edible horror stories 🍪
CIA-level hallucination fish 🐠
The wildest heart transplant suicide story 🫀
Purple not being real 👁️
And China's terrifying new super soldier experiment 🧬

It's skincare, science, and superpowers all rolled into one. Buckle up — this episode gets deep, weird, and hilarious.

🔔 Like, subscribe & hit the bell — or risk eating a DMT fish by accident.

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0:00 - Glow, Sponges & Hot Oil Treatments
1:18 - Spa Days & Korean Skincare
2:31 - Snail Masks & Slippery Science
5:15 - Compliments & Confidence
8:12 - Devonte Joins the Chaos
10:53 - Type Sh*t Global Culture Stories
20:15 - Fish That Get You High?!
23:00 - DMT, Edibles & Driving While High
32:00 - Heart Transplant Suicide Mystery
37:00 - Purple Isn't Real?!
41:00 - Satellites, GPS Hacks & Creamer Prices
45:00 - Coffee Subs, Skims & Bluechew
49:00 - China's Super Soldiers
53:00 - Custom Superpowers & The Real Goku Life


Producer:  @HippieGoals  
Join the Patreon https://www.patreon.com/daminternetyouscary

This episode is sponsored by BetterHelp. https://www.betterhelp.com/diys

What happens when comedian Spank Horton pulls up to Dam Internet, You Scary!? Shirtless birthday parties, wild drug trips, international thirst stories, detachable sea penises, and cows who hate country music. Hosts Tahir Moore and Patrick Cloud go toe-to-toe with Spank in one of the most hilariously unhinged episodes ever.

💥 From talking ketamine to awkward strip club returns, from Brazilian magazine girls to frogs getting divorced for too much rain—this one has it ALL.

🎤 Hosted by: Tahir Moore & Patrick Cloud
🎧 Guest: Spank Horton https://www.instagram.com/spankhorton/
🎥 Produced by:  @HippieGoals  

📍 Chapters + Timestamps below 👇
📲 Subscribe & hit the bell for more weekly chaos!
🔗 Follow us on socials: @daminternetscary
✂️ Best moments from this episode? COMMENT BELOW!

0:00 - The Freestyle Is Wild Right Away
2:01 - Spank Talks Getting “Fired” by Kevin Hart
4:04 - Kev’s Workout Rules & Phone Calls at 6AM
5:10 - Spank’s Birthday Turn-Up: No Shirt in the Club
7:00 - “Would You Take Your Shirt Off In Church?”
9:00 - Spank’s Freestyle to a Mario Trap Beat
11:10 - Macy’s Catalogs & Magazine Shopping Woes
13:00 - Brazilian Magazine Girls & "Ordering by Name"
15:10 - Beauty in Brazil vs. Getting Kidnapped
17:00 - The Artist Who Drew Himself on Every Drug
20:30 - Ranking Drug Portraits: Weed, Cocaine, Meth
25:00 - Everyone Admits Which Ones They Tried
27:00 - DMT Trips, Hieroglyphics & Lucy-Level Visuals
30:00 - Spank Tries Ketamine—Then Rips His Shirt Off
32:00 - “We Don’t Do Drugs, We Just Try Things”
33:45 - Cows Hate Country Music?!
35:00 - Wagyu Cows Live Better Than Us
36:15 - Women’s Self-Defense Gloves from the 1800s
38:10 - Sea Creatures with Detachable D**ks 🤯
40:00 - Frog Marriage & the Flood It Caused
43:00 - Spank’s Favorite City for Beautiful Women
45:00 - India, Mia Khalifa & Trash City in Egypt
48:00 - Spank’s Chaotic Jamaica Trip w/ 90 People

🎙️ Welcome back to Damn Internet, You Scary! with your hosts @PatrickCloudChannel and @TahirMoore. This week’s hilarious guest is none other than comedian, writer, and mixologist-in-residence Vanessa Graddick! https://wwww.instagram.com/vanessagraddick

In this episode:

🍸 Vanessa drops drink game with edible glitter cocktails
👮‍♂️ We dive into the wild conspiracy that Family Matters was a delusion created by Carl Winslow!
🕷️ Spiders could theoretically eat all humans in under a year?! Say what?
🌲 We explore the real-life Zone of Death loophole where you could legally get away with murder!
🌆 Plus: the haunting side of downtown LA, from graffiti ghosts to pigeon-covered staircases.

Don’t forget to like, comment, and SUBSCRIBE for more comedy, conspiracies, and chaos.

💬 Drop your thoughts: What show from the 90s deserves a conspiracy theory?

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play your first $5 lineup!

0:00 - Kicking Things Off & Making Wishes at 12:34 
0:42 - Birthday Numbers & Seeing Patterns in Time 
1:21 - Can You Manifest the Clock? 
1:55 - Timing Needs to Be Organic 
2:29 - Sleepy Faces & Misinterpreted Drool 
3:02 - The Money Shot Debate 
3:15 - Titty Bang Failures & Bad Aim 
3:30 - Vasectomy Confessions & Reduced Velocity 
4:27 - The Brick House Blueprint 
5:03 - Invention: The Skee-Ball Sex Game 
5:37 - Olympic Score System for Sex 
6:14 - Global Expansion for Semen Games?! 
6:50 - Scoring Hair vs Headboard vs Butt 
7:35 - Missionary Skeeball Gets Competitive 
8:07 - Can Amazon Sell This? 
9:01 - Sitcom Theme Songs with a Trap Remix 
10:17 - Vanessa’s Glitter Cocktails & DIY Mixology 
11:22 - Frasier Love & Drink Inspiration 
12:12 - Sitcom Reboots & Night Court Talk 
13:49 - Kathy Bates in Matlock & Writing Classes 
15:17 - Sitcom Trap Beat Freestyle 
16:59 - Cheese is as Addictive as Cocaine?! 
17:32 - The Carl Winslow Multiverse Conspiracy 
19:42 - Typecasting & The Ghost of Urkel 
21:17 - Family Matters Is a Cop's Fantasy 
23:51 - Schizophrenia Dog Named Barbie 🐶 
24:35 - Could Spiders Eat All Humans?! 
26:20 - Slavery Stats & Spider Logic 
27:34 - If We Ate White People Instead of Chicken... 
28:40 - What If Don Julio Sponsored Cracker Barrel? 
29:58 - Ad Read: Bluechew Comedy Segment 
32:37 - Words We Can’t Say: Specificity & Naïveté 
33:43 - The Zone of Death: Legal Murder in Idaho?! 
36:08 - Yellowstone’s “Train Station” Theory 
38:43 - Downtown LA: Squatters, Drugs & Dodger Dogs 
43:57 - Man in a Diaper with Pigeons?! 
44:58 - Why Dodger Dogs Are Baseball's Real MVP 
45:40 - PrizePicks Sports Talk & Fantasy Betting 
51:20 - Cheese Debate Continues: Sharp Cheddar Wins 
55:55 - Vanessa’s Final Plugs & Upcoming Projects 

#DIYS #VanessaGraddick #FamilyMattersTheory #Spiders #ZoneOfDeath #ComedyPodcast #BlackCreators #urbanlegends

Producer:  @HippieGoals ​

This episode is sponsored by BetterHelp.

On this episode of Dam Internet, You Scary!, Tahir and Patrick go from conspiracy theories to hilarious hypotheticals. They dive into the real-life story behind The Terminal, uncover wild Mountain Dew conspiracy theories, and debate the practicality of Mario’s power-ups. Also—should you come back as a frog or a lizard in the next life? And how powerful is Dr. Doom really?

We’re talking:

Getting stuck in an airport for 18 years
Frog butt cheeks
Marvel movie hot takes
Star or 1UP—what would you pick IRL?

💥 Sponsored by Factor Meals & BetterHelp
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🔥 New episodes every week! Subscribe for more wild convos and nerd debates.

0:00 – Intro + Martial Arts Fitness
1:08 – Energy Drinks, Mornings & Sugar
1:26 – Guest Cancellations & Old School Vibes
2:00 – The Mountain Dew Conspiracy 🥤
3:07 – The Terminal Was Real?!
5:00 – Living in an Airport: Hacks & Struggles
9:10 – Worst Airports Ranked ✈️
14:30 – Vegas Airport = Chaos
16:52 – Life Hacks & Crazy Tariffs
18:00 – Billionaires Losing Billions
20:00 – Jackie Chan Won’t Leave His Kids a Dime
22:25 – Factor Meals Ad Read
23:00 – Mario Star vs 1-Up Debate 🍄
26:08 – Robbing a Bank with Mario Powers
28:07 – First Animal That Doesn’t Need Oxygen
30:25 – Animals That Don’t Drink Water
34:13 – Would You Come Back as a Frog or Lizard? 🐸🦎
36:11 – Poison Dart Frog Swag
40:05 – BetterHelp Ad Read
42:14 – Avengers: Endgame Deserves a Spot in Top 5
44:13 – Marvel vs DC: Who’s Winning Now?
48:00 – Doctor Doom is Tony Stark?!
50:52 – Most Powerful Marvel Villains Ranked
52:56 – Wanda’s True Power & Marvel Plotlines
54:00 – Disney+ Pricing Woes
55:00 – Sneak Peek: Sleeping Sickness Segment


Join our Patreon now!! 
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In this hilarious and wild episode of Dam Internet, You Scary!, Tahir Moore and Patrick Cloud are joined by viral TikTok sensation Mike  @MikeCakez   famous for his iconic catchphrase "Sir, Sir!" Mike shares behind-the-scenes secrets of going viral, his journey from engineering to content creation, and how he deals with constant bans from social media platforms.

They also dive into some of the creepiest stories on the internet, including turning ashes into diamonds, preserving tattoos from loved ones as keepsakes, and poisonous plants that leave their victims smiling in death!

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🔥 Episode Highlights:

Mike’s origin story & viral success secrets
Why Facebook might be better than Instagram for creators
Turning ashes into wearable jewelry & creepy memorial tattoos
The "smiling" deadly plant: hemlock explained
Wild tattoo and skin preservation trends

😂 Join the convo—would you ever turn a loved one’s ashes into diamonds or preserve tattoos? Let us know!

🎧 Subscribe to Dam Internet, You Scary! for weekly comedy, weird internet finds, and incredible guest stories!

#MikeCakez #DamInternetYouScary #ComedyPodcast #ViralVideos #TikTokFame #WeirdFacts #CreepyStories #PatrickCloud #TahirMoore

00:00 – Intro & Special Guest MikeCakez
00:22 – Mike's Viral Success & "Sir, Sir!"
02:17 – Origin of the “Sir, Sir!” Voice
03:37 – The Video That Started It All
05:37 – Instant Viral Success on TikTok
08:05 – Getting Banned & Deleted on Instagram
09:26 – Facebook’s Hidden Benefits for Creators
10:42 – Why Older Audiences on Facebook Engage More
12:16 – Weird Fact: The Origins of Toasting Drinks
16:10 – Preserving Tattoos from Deceased Loved Ones
19:46 – Would You Wear Boots Made from Human Skin?
21:34 – Turning Human Ashes into Diamonds
22:43 – Buried or Cremated? Hosts Reveal Preferences
23:23 – Tahir’s Ideal Funeral: Viking Style
25:29 – Deadly Plant: The Smiling Death (Hemlock)
30:37 – Poison Ivy, Oak & Sumac Horror Stories
32:30 – "Land Before Time" Dark Facts
35:27 – Mike's Engineering Degree
38:42 – MikeCakez’s Surprising Origin: Born in France
41:18 – Tahir’s Bad Experience in Paris
42:20 – Dream Travel Spots: Egypt, Japan & South Korea
47:25 – MikeCakez Wants to Try Skiing
49:14 – Wild Historical Fact: Painless 1887 Dentist Ad
54:39 – How Mike Deals with Fan Recognition
56:03 – MikeCakez’s Struggles with Constant Sweating
57:28 – Ancient Preserved Tattoos (2,500 Years Old!)
59:18 – Final Thoughts & Episode Wrap-Up

Producer:  @HippieGoals  

Join our Patreon now!! 
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The episode is sponsored by BetterHelp.

Welcome to Dam Internet, You Scary! 😱💻
Hosted by Tahir Moore  @tahirmoore   & Patrick Cloud  @PatrickCloudChannel
🎙️ Produced by Hippie Goals  @HippieGoals
👤 This week’s guest: Comedian, writer & scent connoisseur Dave Helem  @dhelem  

Guest: Dave Helem https://www.instagram.com/davehelem

Sponsors:
BetterHelp https://www.betterhelp.com/diys
Factor https://wwww.factormeals.com/diys50off use code: diys50off

00:00:00 – Intro & Early Banter
00:00:21 – Zodiac Chat: Astrology & Celebrity Signs
00:05:19 – Product Rants & Collab Commentary
00:07:04 – Offbeat Moments & Real Talk
00:07:41 – Home Hacks: Cleaning Tech & Modern Vacuums
00:10:08 – Furniture, New Spaces & Home Makeovers
00:11:48 – L.A. Lifestyle & Office Vibes
00:14:01 – Hollywood & Social Commentary
00:16:00 – Shoe Collection & Personal Style
00:17:47 – BetterHelp Sponsor: Mental Health & Therapy
00:20:11 – Shoe Swaps, Crocs & Lifestyle Rants
00:24:03 – Cologne Countdown: Top Fragrances Revealed
00:30:34 – Signature Scents: The Centerpiece Cologne
00:32:58 – Scentbird Spotlight: Try New Fragrances
00:36:23 – Health Journey & Factor Meals Sponsor
00:41:05 – Personal Reflections & Cologne Mixology
00:55:08 – Closing Thoughts & Future Hints
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This episode is WILD from start to finish! 🤯 We’re talking:  
♓ Zodiac stereotypes & celebrity sign wars  
👟 Sneakerhead confessions + couch hacks  
🧼 Fancy vacuums, Roombas & grown man cleaning gadgets  
👃🏾 The ultimate cologne countdown—Dave breaks down his *Top 5* must-have scents  
🔥 Mixing colognes like a boss (and why it might get you some extra love 😏)  
🧠 Mental health matters: Real talk about therapy & BetterHelp  
🥗 Healthy eats made easy with Factor Meals  
💥 And of course, all the chaotic comedy you love from DIYS!

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Topics Covered:
💬 Lifestyle, Astrology, Men’s Fashion, Sneaker Culture, Home Tech  
🧴 Cologne, Self-Care, Comedy, Black Creators, Internet Culture  
📈 SEO Keywords: Dave Helem interview, zodiac signs funny, best colognes 2025, black men fashion tips, BetterHelp promo, Factor Meals review, podcast for men, sneakerhead life, astrology comedy, men’s grooming tips  

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👇🏾 Drop your favorite cologne in the comments & let us know your zodiac sign!  
Don’t forget to LIKE 👍🏾, SUBSCRIBE 🔔, and SHARE 📲

#DamInternetYouScary #DIYS #TahirMoore #PatrickCloud #DaveHelem #BlackPodcasts #MensStyle #CologneReview #Sneakerheads #ZodiacSigns #AstrologyFunny #MentalHealthAwareness #FactorMeals #BetterHelp #SelfCareForMen

Dam Internet, You Scary! hosts Patrick Cloud and Tahir Moore break down the disturbing but interesting stories on the internet!

Michael Turner joins Damn Internet, You Scary! for a wild discussion on comedy, internet culture, and viral fame. 

But that’s not all—we also dive into AI conspiracies, the weirdest internet theories, and whether social media is ruining creativity. Is AI about to take over comedy? Will viral trends ever stop being so weird? Hit play and find out!

🔥 Timestamps in the comments for easy navigation!
🎤 Guest: Michael Turner (@michaelturnercomedy)
🎧 LISTEN NOW on YouTube, Spotify & Apple Podcasts!

#MichaelTurner #DamnInternetYouScary #AIConspiracies #ViralFame #StandUpComedy #InternetCulture #CancelCulture

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