Nope! We're Not Monogamous

Dating Separately: The Secret to Actually Surviving Polyamory as a Couple, EP. 138


Listen Later

Dating separately is one of the most misunderstood and emotionally charged topics in non-monogamy.

For many couples, the idea of a partner dating someone without them involved brings up fear, jealousy, panic, and a deep sense of threat. So it makes sense that a lot of people try to avoid that discomfort by insisting on dating together, only pursuing triads, or creating rules that keep everything tightly controlled.

In this episode, I break down why dating separately is about building autonomy, emotional maturity, and real trust rather than abandoning your partner or weakening your relationship, 

You’ll hear why dating together often feels safer at first, how monogamous conditioning shapes those instincts, and why avoiding separate dating can actually keep couples stuck in fear-based patterns that undermine connection over time.

This episode lays the foundation for understanding why autonomy matters in ethical non-monogamy, and why learning to handle discomfort is a necessary part of building sustainable, healthy relationships.

If you’ve ever thought “dating separately feels like too much” or “we’ll just do this together so it’s safer,” this conversation is for you.

Send us a text

FLOW Nitric Oxide Booster
FLOW brings blood where you want it to go — your brain, your heart, and your pleasure zones. Try your first bottle of FLOW FREE — just pay shipping. Experience the results yourself and cancel anytime. We’re confident FLOW will reignite your spark! 

Support the show

📰 Subscribe to Not A Monogamous Newsletter to stay up to date with new episodes and offerings from Ellecia. https://elleciapaine.podia.com/newsletter

❤️ Enjoying the show?
The best way to thank us is by following and leaving a review or a note. And if you want more, join our Patreon! http://www.patreon.com/notmonogamous

👀 Find Us Online
🌍 Website: https://www.elleciapaine.com
📘 Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/elleciapaine
📸 Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/elleciapaine/

Music: Composer/Author (CA): Oscar Lindstein
STIM IPI: 572 393 237

...more
View all episodesView all episodes
Download on the App Store

Nope! We're Not MonogamousBy Ellecia Paine

  • 4.8
  • 4.8
  • 4.8
  • 4.8
  • 4.8

4.8

43 ratings


More shows like Nope! We're Not Monogamous

View all
Sex With Emily by Dr. Emily Morse

Sex With Emily

6,723 Listeners

We Gotta Thing - A Swinger Podcast by Mr & Mrs Jones's Swinging Adventures

We Gotta Thing - A Swinger Podcast

770 Listeners

Multiamory: Rethinking Modern Relationships by Multiamory | Pleasure Podcasts

Multiamory: Rethinking Modern Relationships

910 Listeners

ReWilding with Sabrina Lynn by Sabrina Lynn

ReWilding with Sabrina Lynn

344 Listeners

Where Should We Begin? with Esther Perel by Esther Perel Global Media

Where Should We Begin? with Esther Perel

14,881 Listeners

Come Curious by Florence Bark & Reed | QCODE

Come Curious

394 Listeners

Sex and Psychology Podcast by Dr. Justin Lehmiller

Sex and Psychology Podcast

304 Listeners

Financial Feminist by Her First $100K

Financial Feminist

6,443 Listeners

LOVERS by shan by LOVERS by shan

LOVERS by shan

5,432 Listeners

Reimagining Love with Dr. Alexandra Solomon by Dr. Alexandra Solomon

Reimagining Love with Dr. Alexandra Solomon

297 Listeners

On Attachment by Stephanie Rigg

On Attachment

1,052 Listeners

Girls Gone Deep by Elle and Vee

Girls Gone Deep

253 Listeners

THE MONOGAMISH MARRIAGE by Kate & Liam

THE MONOGAMISH MARRIAGE

182 Listeners

Vanilla Swingers - A Swingers Podcast, Unfiltered AF by Kat & Leo

Vanilla Swingers - A Swingers Podcast, Unfiltered AF

363 Listeners

Pineapple Pinup: Hotwife Swingers Life by Tasty Tress

Pineapple Pinup: Hotwife Swingers Life

149 Listeners