Deception, Conflict, and Authenticity: Navigating Relationships with Dr. Jason Whiting

Introduction and Background:

• Dr. Kevin Skinner introduces Dr. Jason Whiting, a licensed marriage and family therapist, and professor at Brigham Young University.

Main Themes:

• Deception in Relationships:

Research and Findings:

• Dr. Whiting shares insights from his research, which includes interviews with individuals involved in domestic violence.

Physiological Responses and Conflict:

• The conversation highlights the concept of "flooding" as described by John Gottman, where high emotional arousal (heart rates over 100 bpm) makes constructive communication difficult.

Negotiated Timeouts:

• Dr. Whiting explains the concept of negotiated timeouts, where couples pre-arrange signals and strategies to pause heated arguments.

Authenticity and Core Values:

• The discussion shifts to becoming more authentic in relationships by aligning actions with core values such as honesty, kindness, and responsibility.

Rebuilding Trust:

• For individuals who have been deceptive, Dr. Whiting advises focusing on consistent honesty and understanding the partner's perspective.

Communication and Kindness:

• Dr. Whiting discusses the balance between honesty and kindness, emphasizing that being "brutally honest" is often just being brutal.

Conclusion:

• Dr. Whiting and Dr. Skinner highlight the significance of developing healthier communication habits, understanding physiological responses during conflicts, and fostering authenticity and kindness in relationships.

Resources Discussed in the Podcast:

1. Love Me True: Overcoming the Surprising Ways We Deceive in Relationship by Dr. Jason Whiting