What actually makes a good CSAT therapist?

In this episode, Luke Gordon and Jacob Fletcher (CSAT and fellow Choose Recovery Services coach), unpack the major differences between recovery approaches in pornography addiction and compulsive sexual behavior treatment.

Many people spend years in recovery focused only on behavior and sobriety — yet still feel emotionally disconnected, ashamed, and unable to build intimacy.

This conversation explores:

• Behavior-focused vs trauma-focused therapy

• Why emotional regulation matters

• The role of attachment wounds and shame

• How relapse should actually be approached

• Questions to ask when choosing a therapist

If you’ve struggled to feel real transformation in recovery, this episode may help you understand why.

Chapters

• 02:04 Meet Jacob Fletcher

• 04:27 Different CSAT Styles

• 07:31 Behavior vs Somatic

• 09:44 Questions to Ask

• 14:32 Relapse Approach

• 18:29 Dopamine Reset

• 21:46 Balancing Both Models

Watch the episode on YouTube ⁠HERE

Register Now!

• ***Use code PODCAST150 to get $150 off any Choose intensive or retreat in 2026!***

• 🌴NEW: Couples Retreat in Costa Rica! - If you are in a stable place in your relationship and want to reconnect, regulate, and rediscover each other, we invite you to our couples breathwork retreat. Register by May 31st to get our early-bird pricing - $600 OFF!

• Courage to Thrive - Join us for this healing retreat for women who have experienced betrayal trauma. It offers a safe, supportive space to process pain, reconnect with yourself, and begin moving forward with strength and hope. Through guided workshops, therapeutic support, and restorative experiences, women leave feeling seen, empowered, and less alone. August 25-28, 2026 in Spanish Fork, Utah. 

• Making Sense of His Behavior - NEW 8-week group designed for anyone who is trying to make sense of confusing, painful, and hurtful behaviors in their relationship. Start the group at any time and stay for eight weeks.

Get our FREE eBook - Healing From Betrayal Trauma: A Compassionate Guide to Reclaiming Your Life

• 💵We don’t want finances to get in the way of your healing. Scholarships and payment plans (including buy now, pay later options) are available for all of our intensives. 

Connect With Us:

• Learn more about Luke here. 

• Schedule a complimentary consultation here.

• Don’t miss an episode! Join our email list and get notified when new episodes air! 

• Follow us on Instagram @choose_recovery_services   

Wanting more? Choose Recovery Services offers many courses specifically for men:

• Beyond the Facade: Men’s Healing Group - This group helps men move through the pains of addiction, relationship healing, managing emotions, and moving past shame. You’ll learn how to better connect with others, understand your own emotional experience, and build a deeper sense of self respect.

• Help. Her. Heal - This program is for men seeking to learn more about empathy, conflict resolution, and healthy communication. 

Additional Resources from Choose Recovery Services:

• Intensives - Accelerate your healing journey with one of our intensives, available year-round for individuals, couples, and professionals. Our intensives foster connection with others who share similar experiences, creating an immersive environment that enables profound transformation in a short period of time.

• Road to Recovery Webinar - Join us on the second Sunday of each month for a FREE interactive discussion that explores tools and strategies to support individuals and couples navigating the challenges of recovery following betrayal. 

• Choose To Be Podcast - This podcast focuses on helping women heal from infidelity and betrayal trauma.

• Choose Healing - Weekly support group for women who have recently experienced betrayal and are needing help coping with the symptoms of trauma. 

Learn more and register for courses at chooserecoveryservices.com

When betrayal enters a family, children often carry invisible pain. This week Luke joins Amie and Alana on their podcast (Choose To Be) to talk about his personal experience with how to repair after betrayal.

Listen in as he shares what his experience was like trying to reconnect with his children and rebuild trust.

Listen to learn:

• Why kids react strongly (and sometimes unexpectedly)

• How betrayal trauma affects attachment and trust

• What parents can do to rebuild safety and connection

• The difference between supporting vs. overwhelming your child

If you want to learn more about helping children and teens heal after betrayal, listen to more episodes about this topic on the Choose To Be podcast: Part 1,  Part 2, and Part 3. 

Want a podcast dedicated to helping teens and children with betrayal? Tune in to Morgan Ellsworth’s podcast: Healing Betrayed Families

Chapters:

• 04:11 Staying Grounded 

• 09:43 Attunement and Vulnerability Goals

• 13:20 Vulnerability Without Dumping

• 19:01 Make It About the Kids

• 23:07 When Kids Blame Mom

• 27:31 Attachment and Love Bombing

• 31:27 Validate Kids’ Reality

• 37:06 Keep Showing Up

Watch the episode on YouTube ⁠HERE

Register Now!

• ***Use code PODCAST150 to get $150 off any Choose intensive or retreat in 2026!***

• 🌴NEW: Couples Retreat in Costa Rica! - If you are in a stable place in your relationship and want to reconnect, regulate, and rediscover each other, we invite you to our couples breathwork retreat. Register by May 31st to get our early-bird pricing - $600 OFF!

• Making Sense of His Behavior - NEW 8-week group designed for anyone who is trying to make sense of confusing, painful, and hurtful behaviors in their relationship. Start the group at any time and stay for eight weeks.

Get our FREE eBook - Healing From Betrayal Trauma: A Compassionate Guide to Reclaiming Your Life

• 💵We don’t want finances to get in the way of your healing. Scholarships and payment plans (including buy now, pay later options) are available for all of our intensives. 

Connect With Us:

• Learn more about Luke here. 

• Schedule a complimentary consultation here.

• Don’t miss an episode! Join our email list and get notified when new episodes air! 

• Follow us on Instagram @choose_recovery_services   

Wanting more? Choose Recovery Services offers many courses specifically for men:

• Beyond the Facade: Men’s Healing Group - This group helps men move through the pains of addiction, relationship healing, managing emotions, and moving past shame. You’ll learn how to better connect with others, understand your own emotional experience, and build a deeper sense of self respect.

• Help. Her. Heal - This program is for men seeking to learn more about empathy, conflict resolution, and healthy communication. 

Additional Resources from Choose Recovery Services:

• Intensives - Accelerate your healing journey with one of our intensives, available year-round for individuals, couples, and professionals. Our intensives foster connection with others who share similar experiences, creating an immersive environment that enables profound transformation in a short period of time.

• Road to Recovery Webinar - Join us on the second Sunday of each month for a FREE interactive discussion that explores tools and strategies to support individuals and couples navigating the challenges of recovery following betrayal. 

• Choose To Be Podcast - This podcast focuses on helping women heal from infidelity and betrayal trauma.

• Choose Healing - Weekly support group for women who have recently experienced betrayal and are needing help coping with the symptoms of trauma. 

Learn more and register for courses at chooserecoveryservices.com

What does an emotionally shut down man actually look like?

Spoiler: Usually not what people think.

In this powerful conversation, Luke and Alana explore the hidden reality of emotional shutdown in men—especially the high-performing, successful men who appear “fine” on the outside but are deeply disconnected on the inside.

From avoidant attachment to compulsive behavior, emotional numbness, and relational loneliness, this episode helps both men and betrayed partners understand what’s really happening beneath the surface.

Healing is possible. Deeper connection is possible.

But first—you have to feel.

Chapters

• 02:08 What Being Emotionally Shut Down Looks Like

• 04:21 High Performing Shut down

• 09:33 Inside the Shutdown

• 12:59 Signs and Logic

• 17:14 Learning Emotional Safety

• 19:55 Tears and the Body

• 22:21 Busy vs Stillness

• 24:08 Chasing Intensity

• 29:53 Numbness and Dissociation

• 38:28 Individuation and Reconnection

Watch the episode on YouTube ⁠HERE

Register Now!

• ***Use code PODCAST150 to get $150 off any Choose intensive or retreat in 2026!***

• 🌴NEW: Couples Retreat in Costa Rica! - If you are in a stable place in your relationship and want to reconnect, regulate, and rediscover each other, we invite you to our couples breathwork retreat. Register by May 31st to get our early-bird pricing - $600 OFF!

• 💵We don’t want finances to get in the way of your healing. Scholarships and payment plans (including buy now, pay later options) are available for all of our intensives. 

Connect With Us:

• Learn more about Luke here. 

• Schedule a complimentary consultation here.

• Don’t miss an episode! Join our email list and get notified when new episodes air! 

• Follow us on Instagram @choose_recovery_services   

Wanting more? Choose Recovery Services offers many courses specifically for men:

• Beyond the Facade: Men’s Healing Group - This group helps men move through the pains of addiction, relationship healing, managing emotions, and moving past shame. You’ll learn how to better connect with others, understand your own emotional experience, and build a deeper sense of self respect.

• Help. Her. Heal - This program is for men seeking to learn more about empathy, conflict resolution, and healthy communication. 

Additional Resources from Choose Recovery Services:

• Intensives - Accelerate your healing journey with one of our intensives, available year-round for individuals, couples, and professionals. Our intensives foster connection with others who share similar experiences, creating an immersive environment that enables profound transformation in a short period of time.

• Road to Recovery Webinar - Join us on the second Sunday of each month for a FREE interactive discussion that explores tools and strategies to support individuals and couples navigating the challenges of recovery following betrayal. 

• Choose To Be Podcast - This podcast focuses on helping women heal from infidelity and betrayal trauma.

• Choose Healing - Weekly support group for women who have recently experienced betrayal and are needing help coping with the symptoms of trauma. 

Learn more and register for courses at chooserecoveryservices.com

What keeps men hiding — even after they’ve been caught?

In this powerful conversation, Luke Gordon and Ryan Collins, a peer mentor for Choose Recovery support groups, unpack the role humility plays in recovery from betrayal, addiction, shame, and relational disconnection.

Ryan vulnerably shares how fear, image protection, and shame kept him stuck in trickle truth for months — and how surrender and authenticity ultimately became the very thing that saved his marriage.

Together they explore:

• The difference between humiliation and humility

• Why men protect their identity after getting caught

• How shame fuels defensiveness and trickle truth

• Why accountability creates connection

• How honesty became the very thing that saved Ryan’s marriage

• The role of vulnerability, empathy, and surrender in healing

Chapters

• 01:31 Meet Ryan

• 03:49 Pillar One: Self Honesty

• 07:59 Trickle Truth and Surrender

• 12:25 Pillar Two: Being Influenced

• 18:48 Accountability in Conflict

• 22:24 Pillar Three: Identity Release

• 29: 59 Freedom and Daily Practice

• 32:45 Encouragement

Watch the episode on YouTube ⁠HERE

Register Now!

• ***Use code PODCAST150 to get $150 off any Choose intensive or retreat in 2026!***

• 🌴NEW: Couples Retreat in Costa Rica! - If you are in a stable place in your relationship and want to reconnect, regulate, and rediscover each other, we invite you to our couples breathwork retreat. Register by May 31st to get our early-bird pricing - $600 OFF!

• 🦋Rise, Renew, Restore Somatic Healing Retreat in Costa Rica -  Ready to experience deep somatic healing? Join us this July for a transformative 5-day intensive created specifically for women healing from betrayal trauma or navigating divorce. This is your opportunity to reconnect with your body's wisdom, release what you've been carrying, and heal alongside other women who truly understand your journey. 

• 💵We don’t want finances to get in the way of your healing. Scholarships and payment plans (including buy now, pay later options) are available for all of our intensives. 

Connect With Us:

• Learn more about Luke here. 

• Schedule a complimentary consultation here.

• Don’t miss an episode! Join our email list and get notified when new episodes air! 

• Follow us on Instagram @choose_recovery_services   

Wanting more? Choose Recovery Services offers many courses specifically for men:

• Beyond the Facade: Men’s Healing Group - This group helps men move through the pains of addiction, relationship healing, managing emotions, and moving past shame. You’ll learn how to better connect with others, understand your own emotional experience, and build a deeper sense of self respect.

• Help. Her. Heal - This program is for men seeking to learn more about empathy, conflict resolution, and healthy communication. 

Additional Resources from Choose Recovery Services:

• Intensives - Accelerate your healing journey with one of our intensives, available year-round for individuals, couples, and professionals. Our intensives foster connection with others who share similar experiences, creating an immersive environment that enables profound transformation in a short period of time.

• Road to Recovery Webinar - Join us on the second Sunday of each month for a FREE interactive discussion that explores tools and strategies to support individuals and couples navigating the challenges of recovery following betrayal. 

• Choose To Be Podcast - This podcast focuses on helping women heal from infidelity and betrayal trauma.

• Choose Healing - Weekly support group for women who have recently experienced betrayal and are needing help coping with the symptoms of trauma. 

Learn more and register for courses at chooserecoveryservices.com

Most men in recovery aren’t failing because they aren’t trying hard enough. They’re failing because they’re aiming at the wrong target.

In this episode, Luke sits down with Matt Wenger, MA, LPC, CCPS, CSAT and Executive Clinical Director at Begin Again Institute, to break down one of the biggest misunderstandings in sex addiction recovery: the difference between staying busy and actually healing.

They discuss:

• What intensive treatment really does

• Inpatient vs outpatient recovery

• Why resentment quietly grows in early recovery

• Why betrayed partners still don’t feel safe

• How men move from sobriety into true recovery

If recovery feels like a hamster wheel, this conversation may explain why.

Chapters

• 01:21 Introducing Matt Wenger

• 04:43 Why Hard Work Stalls

• 09:11 What Intensives Actually Do

• 12:24 Two Weeks vs Longer Rehab

• 17:02 Partner Expectations After Intensive

• 21:54 Gym Metaphor for Recovery

• 27:02 Choosing Quality Treatment

Watch the episode on YouTube ⁠HERE

NEW at Choose Recovery Services!

Register Now!

• ***Use code PODCAST150 to get $150 off any Choose intensive or retreat in 2026!***

• 🌴NEW: Couples Retreat in Costa Rica! - If you are in a stable place in your relationship and want to reconnect, regulate, and rediscover each other, we invite you to our couples breathwork retreat. Register by May 31st to get our early-bird pricing - $600 OFF!

• 🦋Rise, Renew, Restore Somatic Healing Retreat in Costa Rica -  Ready to experience deep somatic healing? Join us this July for a transformative 5-day intensive created specifically for women healing from betrayal trauma or navigating divorce. This is your opportunity to reconnect with your body's wisdom, release what you've been carrying, and heal alongside other women who truly understand your journey. 

• 🧘Revive and Thrive Somatic Intensive for Women - Join us for a transformative four-day somatic healing intensive for women carrying trauma and tension in their bodies. Experience gentle release through expert-guided breathwork, brainspotting, energy healing, and nature immersion as you reclaim your body. Intensive is May 5th-8th, 2026 in Spanish Fork, Utah. 

• 💵We don’t want finances to get in the way of your healing. Scholarships and payment plans (including buy now, pay later options) are available for all of our intensives. 

Connect With Us:

• Learn more about Luke here. 

• Schedule a complimentary consultation here.

• Don’t miss an episode! Join our email list and get notified when new episodes air! 

• Follow us on Instagram @choose_recovery_services   

Wanting more? Choose Recovery Services offers many courses specifically for men:

• Beyond the Facade: Men’s Healing Group - This group helps men move through the pains of addiction, relationship healing, managing emotions, and moving past shame. You’ll learn how to better connect with others, understand your own emotional experience, and build a deeper sense of self respect.

• Help. Her. Heal - This program is for men seeking to learn more about empathy, conflict resolution, and healthy communication. 

Additional Resources from Choose Recovery Services:

• Intensives - Accelerate your healing journey with one of our intensives, available year-round for individuals, couples, and professionals. Our intensives foster connection with others who share similar experiences, creating an immersive environment that enables profound transformation in a short period of time.

• Road to Recovery Webinar - Join us on the second Sunday of each month for a FREE interactive discussion that explores tools and strategies to support individuals and couples navigating the challenges of recovery following betrayal. 

• Choose To Be Podcast - This podcast focuses on helping women heal from infidelity and betrayal trauma.

• Choose Healing - Weekly support group for women who have recently experienced betrayal and are needing help coping with the symptoms of trauma. 

Learn more and register for courses at chooserecoveryservices.com

You don’t need more information—you need a new response.

In this episode, Luke Gordon breaks down one of the most critical (and overlooked) skills in recovery: emotional maturity under pressure.

You’ll learn:

• Why your body reacts before your mind can catch up

• The real definition of emotional maturity (it’s not what you think)

• How to create “the pause” that prevents damage in relationships

• What responsibility actually looks like in real-time conflict

If you’ve ever felt overwhelmed, defensive, or out of control during hard conversations—this episode gives you a practical path forward.

Chapters

• 02:46 What Emotional Maturity Is

• 04:02 Reactivity to Responsibility

• 07:08 The Power of the Pause

• 09:40 Communicate the Pause

• 11:54 Return and Repair

• 14:26 Practice and Next Steps

Watch the episode on YouTube ⁠HERE

NEW at Choose Recovery Services!

• Wired for Pain - Join us April 26th for a FREE webinar for couples. Discover how your brain and body may be “wired” by past pain—and why that wiring keeps you stuck in patterns you can’t seem to break. This free webinar reveals the hidden connection between trauma, behavior, and healing, giving you practical tools to finally move from survival mode into lasting change.

Register Now!

• ***Use code PODCAST150 to get $150 off any Choose intensive or retreat in 2026!***

• 🦋Rise, Renew, Restore Somatic Healing Retreat in Costa Rica -  Ready to experience deep somatic healing? Join us this July for a transformative 5-day intensive created specifically for women healing from betrayal trauma or navigating divorce. This is your opportunity to reconnect with your body's wisdom, release what you've been carrying, and heal alongside other women who truly understand your journey. 

• 🧘Revive and Thrive Somatic Intensive for Women - Join us for a transformative four-day somatic healing intensive for women carrying trauma and tension in their bodies. Experience gentle release through expert-guided breathwork, brainspotting, energy healing, and nature immersion as you reclaim your body. Intensive is May 5th-8th, 2026 in Spanish Fork, Utah. 

• 💵We don’t want finances to get in the way of your healing. Scholarships and payment plans (including buy now, pay later options) are available for all of our intensives. 

Connect With Us:

• Learn more about Luke here. 

• Schedule a complimentary consultation here.

• Don’t miss an episode! Join our email list and get notified when new episodes air! 

• Follow us on Instagram @choose_recovery_services   

Wanting more? Choose Recovery Services offers many courses specifically for men:

• Beyond the Facade: Men’s Healing Group - This group helps men move through the pains of addiction, relationship healing, managing emotions, and moving past shame. You’ll learn how to better connect with others, understand your own emotional experience, and build a deeper sense of self respect.

• Help. Her. Heal - This program is for men seeking to learn more about empathy, conflict resolution, and healthy communication. 

Additional Resources from Choose Recovery Services:

• Intensives - Accelerate your healing journey with one of our intensives, available year-round for individuals, couples, and professionals. Our intensives foster connection with others who share similar experiences, creating an immersive environment that enables profound transformation in a short period of time.

• Road to Recovery Webinar - Join us on the second Sunday of each month for a FREE interactive discussion that explores tools and strategies to support individuals and couples navigating the challenges of recovery following betrayal. 

• Choose To Be Podcast - This podcast focuses on helping women heal from infidelity and betrayal trauma.

• Choose Healing - Weekly support group for women who have recently experienced betrayal and are needing help coping with the symptoms of trauma. 

Learn more and register for courses at chooserecoveryservices.com

Why do so many men understand recovery…but still don’t feel better?

In this episode of Beyond the Facade, Luke Gordon sits down with breathwork practitioner Steven Roccazzella to explore the missing piece in healing: your body.

You’ll learn:

• Why talk therapy alone isn’t enough

• How breathwork regulates your nervous system

• The surprising role of cold exposure in healing

• What it actually means to feel “safe in your body”

Ready to go deeper? Learn more about Reclaimed - our men’s somatic intensive coming up in August, and register now to secure your spot! 

Chapters

• 02:56 Steven’s Backstory

• 06:12 What Is Breathwork?

• 08:26 Cold Exposure Therapy

• 15:16 Wim Hof Method

• 21:55 Breathwork Basics

• 26:37 Stress Responses Explained

• 30:44 Somatic Trust

• 32:56 What Healing Looks Like

Connect with Steven

• Website

• Instagram @steven_roccazzella

• Email [email protected]

Watch the episode on YouTube ⁠HERE

Register Now!

• ***Use code PODCAST150 to get $150 off any Choose intensive or retreat in 2026!***

• LAST CHANCE! ❤️‍🩹Help Her Heal Men’s Intensive - This immersive intensive is designed specifically for men to learn how to support their partners as they heal from betrayal trauma. You will participate in experiential workshops, receive personalized feedback, and learn practical tools to develop the emotional capacity needed for relationship repair. Join us April 14th-17th in Spanish Fork, UT. Also explore attending our Help Her Heal men’s support group. A new group starts in April!

• 🦋Rise, Renew, Restore Somatic Healing Retreat in Costa Rica -  Ready to experience deep somatic healing? Join us this July for a transformative 5-day intensive created specifically for women healing from betrayal trauma or navigating divorce. This is your opportunity to reconnect with your body's wisdom, release what you've been carrying, and heal alongside other women who truly understand your journey. 

• 🧘Revive and Thrive Somatic Intensive for Women - Join us for a transformative four-day somatic healing intensive for women carrying trauma and tension in their bodies. Experience gentle release through expert-guided breathwork, brainspotting, energy healing, and nature immersion as you reclaim your body. Intensive is May 5th-8th, 2026 in Spanish Fork, Utah. 

• 💵We don’t want finances to get in the way of your healing. Scholarships and payment plans (including buy now, pay later options) are available for all of our intensives. 

Connect With Us:

• Learn more about Luke here. 

• Schedule a complimentary consultation here.

• Don’t miss an episode! Join our email list and get notified when new episodes air! 

• Follow us on Instagram @choose_recovery_services   

Wanting more? Choose Recovery Services offers many courses specifically for men:

• Beyond the Facade: Men’s Healing Group - This group helps men move through the pains of addiction, relationship healing, managing emotions, and moving past shame. You’ll learn how to better connect with others, understand your own emotional experience, and build a deeper sense of self respect.

• Help. Her. Heal - This program is for men seeking to learn more about empathy, conflict resolution, and healthy communication. 

Additional Resources from Choose Recovery Services:

• Intensives - Accelerate your healing journey with one of our intensives, available year-round for individuals, couples, and professionals.

• Road to Recovery Webinar - Join us on the second Sunday of each month for a FREE interactive discussion that explores tools and strategies to support individuals and couples navigating the challenges of recovery following betrayal. 

• Choose To Be Podcast - This podcast focuses on helping women heal from infidelity and betrayal trauma.

• Choose Healing - Weekly support group for women who have recently experienced betrayal and are needing help coping with the symptoms of trauma. 

Learn more and register for courses at chooserecoveryservices.com

Healing after betrayal is one of the hardest journeys a couple can face — especially when both partners want the relationship to work but feel stuck in the same painful patterns.

This week Luke and Alana dive into one of the biggest challenges in betrayal recovery: Why progress in personal recovery doesn’t always translate into relational healing.

You’ll learn:

• Why many men struggle to show empathy after betrayal

• The difference between individual recovery and relational repair

• What betrayed partners truly need to feel safe again

• How emotional regulation impacts healing

• Why healing after betrayal is often “Olympic-level emotional work”

If you’re trying to rebuild trust, understand your partner’s pain, or move forward after betrayal, this conversation will help you see the process more clearly — and remind you that healing is possible.

Don’t Miss Out!

If you connected with this conversation, we invite you to learn more about our Help Her Heal men’s intensive and support groups. Reach out to find out which option may be right for you! (702) 277-9145 | [email protected]

Watch the episode on YouTube ⁠HERE

Register Now!

•  ❤️‍🩹Help Her Heal Men’s Intensive - This immersive intensive is designed specifically for men to learn how to support their partners as they heal from betrayal trauma. You will participate in experiential workshops, receive personalized feedback, and learn practical tools to develop the emotional capacity needed for relationship repair. Join us April 14th-17th in Spanish Fork, UT. Also explore attending our Help Her Heal men’s support group. A new group starts in April!

• 🦋Rise, Renew, Restore Somatic Healing Retreat in Costa Rica -  Ready to experience deep somatic healing? Join us this July for a transformative 5-day intensive created specifically for women healing from betrayal trauma or navigating divorce. This is your opportunity to reconnect with your body's wisdom, release what you've been carrying, and heal alongside other women who truly understand your journey. 

• 🧘Revive and Thrive Somatic  Intensive for Women - Join us for a transformative four-day somatic healing intensive for women carrying trauma and tension in their bodies. Experience gentle release through expert-guided breathwork, brainspotting, energy healing, and nature immersion as you reclaim your body. Intensive is May 5th-8th, 2026 in Spanish Fork, Utah. 

• 💵We don’t want finances to get in the way of your healing. Scholarships and payment plans (including buy now, pay later options) are available for all of our intensives.   

Wanting more? Choose Recovery Services offers many courses specifically for men:

• Beyond the Facade: Men’s Healing Group - This group helps men move through the pains of addiction, relationship healing, managing emotions, and moving past shame. You’ll learn how to better connect with others, understand your own emotional experience, and build a deeper sense of self respect.

• Help. Her. Heal - This program is for men seeking to learn more about empathy, conflict resolution, and healthy communication. 

Additional Resources from Choose Recovery Services:

• Intensives - Accelerate your healing journey with one of our intensives, available year-round for individuals, couples, and professionals. Our intensives foster connection with others who share similar experiences, creating an immersive environment that enables profound transformation in a short period of time.

• Road to Recovery Webinar - Join us on the second Sunday of each month for a FREE interactive discussion that explores tools and strategies to support individuals and couples navigating the challenges of recovery following betrayal. 

• Choose To Be Podcast - This podcast focuses on helping women heal from infidelity and betrayal trauma.

• Choose Healing - Weekly support group for women who have recently experienced betrayal and are needing help coping with the symptoms of trauma. 

Learn more and register for courses at chooserecoveryservices.com

Most people think conflict damages relationships, but avoiding conflict may be doing more harm than the conflict itself.

In this episode, Luke Gordon explains why healthy conflict is a critical part of recovery, connection, and emotional maturity—especially after betrayal.

You’ll learn:

• Why conflict triggers the fight-flight-freeze response

• How childhood patterns shape how we handle disagreements

• Why your partner’s triggers may actually be an attempt to connect

• How boundaries help regulate difficult conversations

Conflict doesn't have to destroy relationships. When handled intentionally, it can become the very thing that builds deeper trust and intimacy.

Go deeper into this healing work by joining one of our Phase 2 Beyond the Facade Men’s groups. 

Chapters

• 03:17 Conflict Avoidance

• 05:48 Triggers As Connection

• 07:18 Defining Conflict

• 10:31 Nervous System Cycle

• 15:54 Healthy Conflict Skills

• 19:07 Rupture and Repair

Watch the episode on YouTube ⁠HERE

Register Now!

•  ❤️‍🩹Help Her Heal Men’s Intensive - This immersive intensive is designed specifically for men to learn how to support their partners as they heal from betrayal trauma. You will participate in experiential workshops, receive personalized feedback, and learn practical tools to develop the emotional capacity needed for relationship repair. Join us April 14th-17th in Spanish Fork, UT. 

• 🦋Rise, Renew, Restore Somatic Healing Retreat in Costa Rica -  Ready to experience deep somatic healing? Join us this July for a transformative 5-day intensive created specifically for women healing from betrayal trauma or navigating divorce. This is your opportunity to reconnect with your body's wisdom, release what you've been carrying, and heal alongside other women who truly understand your journey. 

• 🧘Revive and Thrive Somatic  Intensive for Women - Join us for a transformative four-day somatic healing intensive for women carrying trauma and tension in their bodies. Experience gentle release through expert-guided breathwork, brainspotting, energy healing, and nature immersion as you reclaim your body. Intensive is May 5th-8th, 2026 in Spanish Fork, Utah. 

• 💵We don’t want finances to get in the way of your healing. Scholarships and payment plans (including buy now, pay later options) are available for all of our intensives. 

Connect With Us:

• Learn more about Luke here. 

• Schedule a complimentary consultation here.

• Don’t miss an episode! Join our email list and get notified when new episodes air! 

• Follow us on Instagram @choose_recovery_services   

Wanting more? Choose Recovery Services offers many courses specifically for men:

• Beyond the Facade: Men’s Healing Group - This group helps men move through the pains of addiction, relationship healing, managing emotions, and moving past shame. You’ll learn how to better connect with others, understand your own emotional experience, and build a deeper sense of self respect.

• Help. Her. Heal - This program is for men seeking to learn more about empathy, conflict resolution, and healthy communication. 

Additional Resources from Choose Recovery Services:

• Intensives - Accelerate your healing journey with one of our intensives, available year-round for individuals, couples, and professionals. Our intensives foster connection with others who share similar experiences, creating an immersive environment that enables profound transformation in a short period of time.

• Road to Recovery Webinar - Join us on the second Sunday of each month for a FREE interactive discussion that explores tools and strategies to support individuals and couples navigating the challenges of recovery following betrayal. 

• Choose To Be Podcast - This podcast focuses on helping women heal from infidelity and betrayal trauma.

• Choose Healing - Weekly support group for women who have recently experienced betrayal and are needing help coping with the symptoms of trauma. 

Learn more and register for courses at chooserecoveryservices.com

Apologies don’t automatically heal betrayal.

In fact, many people in recovery unknowingly continue hurting their partner through subtle defensive reactions, shutdown patterns, and attempts to control the healing process.

In this episode, Luke explores betrayal violence — a concept from Hope Ray that explains how relational harm can continue long after the original betrayal.

You’ll learn:

• Why saying “I’m sorry” often isn’t enough

• The destructive communication patterns that deepen betrayal trauma

• The ABC pattern behind reactive behavior

• Why shame and defensiveness sabotage repair

• How awareness and accountability help rebuild safety

Go deeper into this healing work by joining one of our Phase 2 Beyond the Facade Men’s groups. 

Chapters

• 01:04 When Sorry Isn’t Enough

• 02:31 Betrayal Violence

• 04:55 Why These Patterns Form

• 07:19 Common Harmful Responses

• 10:53 The ABC Pattern

• 12:01 The Floating Saint

• 13:55 Accountability Without Shame

Watch the episode on YouTube ⁠HERE

Register Now!

•  ❤️‍🩹Help Her Heal Men’s Intensive - This immersive intensive is designed specifically for men to learn how to support their partners as they heal from betrayal trauma. You will participate in experiential workshops, receive personalized feedback, and learn practical tools to develop the emotional capacity needed for relationship repair. Join us April 14th-17th in Spanish Fork, UT. 

• 🦋Rise, Renew, Restore Somatic Healing Retreat in Costa Rica -  Ready to experience deep somatic healing? Join us this July for a transformative 5-day intensive created specifically for women healing from betrayal trauma or navigating divorce. This is your opportunity to reconnect with your body's wisdom, release what you've been carrying, and heal alongside other women who truly understand your journey. 

• 🧘Revive and Thrive Somatic  Intensive for Women - Join us for a transformative four-day somatic healing intensive for women carrying trauma and tension in their bodies. Experience gentle release through expert-guided breathwork, brainspotting, energy healing, and nature immersion as you reclaim your body. Intensive is May 5th-8th, 2026 in Spanish Fork, Utah. 

• 💵We don’t want finances to get in the way of your healing. Scholarships and payment plans (including buy now, pay later options) are available for all of our intensives. 

Connect With Us:

• Learn more about Luke here. 

• Schedule a complimentary consultation here.

• Don’t miss an episode! Join our email list and get notified when new episodes air! 

• Follow us on Instagram @choose_recovery_services   

Wanting more? Choose Recovery Services offers many courses specifically for men:

• Beyond the Facade: Men’s Healing Group - This group helps men move through the pains of addiction, relationship healing, managing emotions, and moving past shame. You’ll learn how to better connect with others, understand your own emotional experience, and build a deeper sense of self respect.

• Help. Her. Heal - This program is for men seeking to learn more about empathy, conflict resolution, and healthy communication. 

Additional Resources from Choose Recovery Services:

• Intensives - Accelerate your healing journey with one of our intensives, available year-round for individuals, couples, and professionals. Our intensives foster connection with others who share similar experiences, creating an immersive environment that enables profound transformation in a short period of time.

• Road to Recovery Webinar - Join us on the second Sunday of each month for a FREE interactive discussion that explores tools and strategies to support individuals and couples navigating the challenges of recovery following betrayal. 

• Choose To Be Podcast - This podcast focuses on helping women heal from infidelity and betrayal trauma.

• Choose Healing - Weekly support group for women who have recently experienced betrayal and are needing help coping with the symptoms of trauma. 
  Learn more and register for courses at chooserecoveryservices.com