In this concluding conversation on the Intimacy Triangle, Dr. Kevin Skinner and MaryAnn Michaelis explore the most complex and often misunderstood dimension of intimacy—sexual intimacy. Together, they examine how personal history, trauma, shame, cultural messaging, betrayal, and biology shape the way individuals and couples experience sexuality.

The discussion begins with a powerful question: “Who am I as a sexual being?” From there, they unpack the importance of self-awareness, emotional safety, and honest communication as the foundation for a healthy sexual relationship.

Listeners will learn:

Why many people feel confused, anxious, or avoidant around sexuality

How early experiences, body shame, pornography, and betrayal trauma impact sexual connection

The biological differences in male and female arousal and desire cycles

How resentment, unresolved relational ruptures, and fear block intimacy

Why obligation and pressure damage sexual bonding

How vulnerability and attachment create deeper connection than performance

The role of boundaries (“bridling passion”) in creating safe and meaningful sexual expression

Dr. Skinner also outlines practical steps toward healthy sexual intimacy, including developing self-awareness, turning toward your partner with honesty, addressing past ruptures, and learning to negotiate desire in a non-threatening way.

This episode reframes sexuality not as a source of shame or conflict, but as a bonding experience that can be joyful, healing, and deeply connecting when approached with compassion, safety, and understanding.

The episode also includes:

An invitation to participate in a grief and betrayal survey for the upcoming Human Intimacy Conference

Details about the Seven Pillars of the Intimacy Repair Method training

Access to the Human Intimacy YouTube channel

Sexual self-awareness

Celebration vs. shame of sexuality

Attachment and “turning toward” your partner

Bridling passion through boundaries

Threat vs. desire systems in the brain

Porn-induced sexual dysfunction and body shame

Obligation vs. authentic sexual connection

Repairing sexual ruptures through timeline work

Presence and attunement after betrayal

Negotiating desire differences with respect

2nd Annual Human Intimacy Conference (March 13–14)

Tracks:

Betrayal Trauma

Unwanted Sexual Behaviors

Couple Healing

Dr. Skinner’s training: The Seven Pillars of the Intimacy Repair Method

MaryAnn Michaelis’ presentation: Grief After Betrayal

Pre-conference Grief & Betrayal Survey (listener participation)

Human Intimacy YouTube Channel

Contact: [email protected]

The Intimacy Triangle

The Intimacy Repair Method

Sexual history timeline in couple healing

Zeigarnik Effect (unresolved relational ruptures)

Dr. John Gottman – The Science of Trust (physiological and relational cycles)

Dr. Pat Love – Hot Monogamy (desire differences and adaptation)

Dr. Sue Johnson – Attachment & “turning toward”

Attachment bonding and vulnerability

Threat vs. arousal systems in female sexuality

Testosterone and male sexual rhythms

Porn-induced erectile dysfunction

Body shame and betrayal trauma

Obligation vs. authentic consent and presence

Develop sexual self-awareness

Practice honesty with yourself first

Learn to communicate desire without pressure or shame

Address past relational ruptures that still carry emotional scar tissue

Turn toward your partner in vulnerability and curiosity

Create boundaries that make sexuality safe and meaningful

Healthy sexual intimacy is not about performance, frequency, or obligation—it is about safety, presence, attachment, and mutual understanding. When couples learn to replace fear and shame with compassion and honesty, sexuality becomes a powerful pathway to healing and connection.

In this milestone episode celebrating two years of the Human Intimacy Podcast, Dr. Kevin Skinner and MaryAnn Michaelis explore one of the most meaningful — and often misunderstood — dimensions of connection: physical and sexual intimacy.

Many relationships struggle in this area, especially when trust has been disrupted or when couples have never learned how to build intimacy from a strong psychological and emotional foundation. Rather than viewing sexuality as the starting point of connection, Dr. Skinner and MaryAnn explain why healthy relationships are built from the ground up — with safety, communication, emotional closeness, and trust forming the base.

Listeners will learn why touch is a core human need across the lifespan, how the body responds to healthy connection, and why confusion often arises when partners attach different meanings to physical contact. The conversation also addresses the impact of betrayal, trauma, body image concerns, sensory sensitivity, and internalized shame — all of which can influence how safe or unsafe touch feels.

Dr. Skinner introduces the concept of discovering your resistance, inviting listeners to notice what happens internally when they experience or anticipate physical touch. Is there comfort? Anxiety? Fear? Longing? Awareness is the first step toward rebuilding intimacy.

The episode also emphasizes the importance of consent, compassionate communication, and pacing. For many couples, healing may begin by temporarily removing sexual expectations and returning to simple, non-sexual forms of connection such as holding hands, hugging, or sitting close together.

When emotional, psychological, and relational intimacy are strengthened, sexual intimacy becomes less confusing and more connecting — allowing couples to experience the bonding power of vulnerability, presence, and trust.

Whether you are rebuilding after betrayal or simply seeking a deeper connection, this episode offers a thoughtful roadmap toward creating safety in touch and rediscovering the beauty of being fully seen, accepted, and loved.

Human Intimacy Conference (March 13–14, 2026)

Human Intimacy YouTube Channel

Related Episodes

Episode 22: Exploring Sexuality — Navigating the Line Between Healthy and Unhealthy Behaviors

Episode 65: Consent, Communication, and the Core of Intimacy

Books & Educational Resources

Treating Trauma from Sexual Betrayal — Dr. Kevin Skinner

The Intimacy Pyramid & Seven Types of Intimacy teachings

HumanIntimacy.com for courses, assessments, and relationship tools

In this episode of the Human Intimacy Podcast, Dr. Kevin Skinner and MaryAnn Michaelis explore the often-misunderstood concept of spiritual intimacy. Moving beyond narrow definitions of religion, they discuss spirituality as a deeply human experience—how we make meaning, experience stillness, share vulnerability, and feel connected to something greater than ourselves.

Through personal stories, cross-cultural insights, and reflections on nature, trauma, loss, healing, and disclosure, this conversation highlights how spiritual intimacy can exist in marriages, families, friendships, and even therapeutic spaces. The episode also addresses spiritual wounding, attachment injuries related to faith, and how creating safety allows partners to share their deepest beliefs, doubts, and experiences.

Ultimately, this discussion invites listeners to slow down, reflect on their own spiritual story, and consider how allowing themselves to be fully seen—without judgment—can lead to profound bonding and connection.

Unbroken – Laura Hillenbrand

The Betrayal Bond – Patrick Carnes

The Art of Confession – Exploring confession and disclosure across spiritual traditions

Mindful eye-contact meditation for couples (used in intensives)

Impact Letters, Disclosure, and Emotional Restitution as sacred relational moments

Reflective exercise: Writing your personal spiritual narrative

Join Dr. Kevin Skinner and leading experts for the Second Annual Human Intimacy Conference, focused on healing from sexual betrayal, trauma recovery, and rebuilding connection in relationships.

🗓 Dates: March 13–14

💸 Coupon Code: 30off

In this episode of the Human Intimacy Podcast, Dr. Kevin Skinner and MaryAnn Michaelis explore creative and intellectual intimacy—two often overlooked but deeply powerful ways couples build connection, trust, and shared meaning.

Rather than viewing intimacy as a checklist or a linear process, they describe it as a living, dynamic experience—one that ebbs and flows through shared ideas, curiosity, problem-solving, creativity, play, and growth. Through personal stories—reading books aloud early in marriage, building businesses, learning to dance, creating art, and dreaming about the future—they illustrate how couples grow closer when they think, create, and imagine together.

The conversation also highlights how intellectual intimacy becomes a meaningful trust-builder, especially after betrayal, when partners begin sharing what they are learning, how they are changing, and what is happening in their inner world. When paired with creativity—planning, building, playing, or envisioning something together—these forms of intimacy foster bonding, growth, and renewed joy in the relationship.

Listeners are invited to reflect on a simple but transformative question:

For those who want to deepen these conversations and continue growing together, Dr. Skinner and MaryAnn invite listeners to the Second Annual Human Intimacy Conference (March 13–14). The conference brings together leading voices in healing, intimacy repair, grief, sexual reintegration, and relationship growth—and offers couples a powerful opportunity to learn together, reflect together, and strengthen both intellectual and creative intimacy.

🎟 Register here and receive 40% off for a limited time:

https://humanintimacy.zohobackstage.com/HumanIntimacy2ndAnnualConference#/

In this episode of the Human Intimacy Podcast, Dr. Kevin Skinner and Maryanne Michaelis continue their exploration of intimacy by focusing on verbal and emotional intimacy. They discuss how curiosity, vulnerability, and emotional expression create deeper connection—while assumptions, fear, and unspoken emotions quietly erode it.

Through personal stories, clinical insight, and practical examples, they show how verbal intimacy often opens the door to emotional intimacy—and how safe, intentional communication strengthens relationships with partners, children, and community. The episode also addresses why intimacy can feel unsafe after trauma or betrayal and how to begin rebuilding connection in healthy, realistic ways.

The connection between verbal intimacy and emotional intimacy

Why curiosity (“Tell me more”) deepens connection

How assumptions block intimacy—even in long-term relationships

Using “I feel” statements instead of blame or shame

Emotional safety, boundaries, and timing in disclosure

The role of community in helping people find words after trauma

Applying intimacy skills in parenting and everyday relationships

Understanding inner circles of trust and emotional access

Psychological safety as the foundation for intimacy

Mirror neurons and emotional attunement

Self-disclosure vs. emotional flooding

Differentiation in relationships

Trauma-informed communication

The healing power of shared experience and community

The themes discussed in this episode—connection, vulnerability, emotional safety, and repair—will be explored in depth at the upcoming Human Intimacy Conference.

📅 March 13–14

This two-day conference is designed for individuals and couples seeking healing and deeper connection after betrayal. It includes:

Separate individual and couples tracks

Live and recorded expert presentations

Trauma-informed yoga sessions

On-demand access to all recordings

Bonus access to last year’s full conference recordings

🎟️ Special Discount:

🔗 Register here:

Who in my life feels safe enough for deeper verbal and emotional intimacy?

Where do I assume instead of asking curious, open questions?

What emotions have I been holding inside that may need safe expression?

Verbal and emotional intimacy grow when we show up, stay curious, and speak honestly—without blame or assumption. Intimacy isn’t about perfect words; it’s about presence, safety, and the courage to be seen.

In this episode of the Human Intimacy Podcast, Dr. Kevin Skinner and MaryAnn Michaelis take a deeper dive into the seven types of intimacy, focusing specifically on psychological intimacy as the foundation of all connection. They explore how honesty, trust, loyalty, and commitment are disrupted by betrayal—and why secrecy and deception, more than behaviors alone, create trauma. The discussion highlights how vulnerability, accountability, and repair rebuild safety over time, especially in relationships impacted by betrayal trauma. This episode offers clarity, compassion, and practical insight for couples navigating healing and reconnection.

Relationship Intimacy Test & Intimacy Pyramid

Reclaim: Healing from Pornography and Rebuilding Your Life

Rise: Hope & Healing After Sexual Betrayal

Human Intimacy Conference – March 13–14, 2026

In this milestone 100th episode of the Human Intimacy Podcast, Dr. Kevin Skinner and MaryAnn Michaelis reflect on two years of conversations—and over 50,000 downloads—by returning to the very heart of their work: human intimacy.

This episode introduces Dr. Skinner’s Intimacy Triangle (or Pyramid), a framework he developed more than 20 years ago to help individuals and couples understand that intimacy is far more than sex. Instead, deep, lasting connection is built from the ground up through seven distinct but interconnected forms of intimacy:

Psychological Intimacy – the foundation of safety built on trust, honesty, loyalty, and commitment

Verbal Intimacy – sharing information and everyday experiences

Emotional Intimacy – expressing feelings, fears, hopes, and vulnerabilities

Cognitive / Intellectual Intimacy – engaging ideas, beliefs, and curiosity together

Creative Intimacy – bonding through shared projects and co-creation

Spiritual Intimacy – connection that transcends words, often felt in shared meaning, values, or sacred moments

Physical / Sexual Intimacy – the natural expression that emerges when the other layers are present

Dr. Skinner and MaryAnn explore how modern culture often reverses this order—placing sexual intimacy at the foundation—and how this inversion contributes to loneliness, disconnection, and relational distress. When intimacy is rebuilt from the bottom up, relationships become safer, deeper, and more resilient.

This episode also sets the stage for upcoming conversations that will break down each layer of intimacy in depth, offering listeners practical tools for healing, repair, and growth.

Intimacy is multidimensional, not synonymous with sex

Psychological safety is the cornerstone of all healthy connection

Skipping layers of intimacy leads to counterfeit connection and deeper loneliness

When intimacy is repaired holistically, emotional and physical closeness naturally follow

Strong relationships are foundational to mental health, resilience, and well-being

Free Human Intimacy Podcast Companion Course

The Intimacy Triangle / Pyramid

A self-scoring intimacy reflection tool

The Relationship Intimacy Test

Book: Rebuild Your Relationship After Sexual Betrayal by Dr. Kevin Skinner

Dr. Skinner will be offering an in-depth two-hour training for couples on the Intimacy Repair Method at the upcoming conference:

Dates: March 2025

Expert presentations

Live Q&A

Practical tools for rebuilding intimacy after betrayal

Deep dives into connection, safety, and repair

🔗 Register here:

If you’re beginning a new year with a desire for deeper connection, healing, and meaningful relationships, this episode offers both a powerful framework and a hopeful path forward.

In Episode #99 of the Human Intimacy Podcast, Dr. Kevin Skinner and MaryAnn Michaelis celebrate their 99th episode by sharing nine powerful practices couples can use to strengthen connection, deepen trust, and build meaningful intimacy. Each principle is grounded in years of clinical experience, neuroscience, and relationship research—while remaining practical and accessible for real-life relationships.

Together they explore why emotional safety is the foundation of all connection, the importance of ownership over blame, and how consistent attunement builds emotional closeness. They emphasize spending intentional time together, rebuilding trust through small daily actions, learning to emotionally regulate before communicating, and facing—not avoiding—conflict. They also highlight how positive relational interactions nurture bonding and why dreaming and planning for the future together creates shared hope and purpose.

Listeners are encouraged to start small, picking one area to work on, knowing that meaningful relationships are built one intentional step at a time.

These concepts draw from established research and recognized thought leaders in relationships, trauma, emotional regulation, and neurobiology:

Polyvagal Theory & Safety

Emotional Attunement & Attachment

Trust and Relationship Repair

Ownership vs. Blame / Emotional Responsibility

Conflict Resolution & The Zeigarnik Effect

Hope & Future Orientation

Trauma, Safety & Human Connection

If you’re ready to go deeper in strengthening your relationship, we invite you to join us at the Human Intimacy 2nd Annual Conference.

https://humanintimacy.zohobackstage.com/HumanIntimacy2ndAnnualConference#/

Online Supplemental Course: (It’s Free)

The Human Intimacy Companion Course

In this heartfelt Human Intimacy Podcast episode, Dr. Kevin Skinner and MaryAnn Michaelis explore the powerful impact of truly being present in the lives of the people we love. During a season filled with busyness, distraction, and endless to-do lists, they invite listeners to slow down and consider the deeper message presence communicates: You matter. I see you. I care.

Through meaningful personal stories—celebrations, graduations, family milestones, healing conversations, and everyday moments—Kevin and MaryAnn reflect on how presence fosters connection, emotional safety, belonging, and joy. They also discuss how curiosity, vulnerability, emotional attunement, and reducing distraction can transform relationships, reduce loneliness, and nurture human intimacy.

Listeners are encouraged to offer the gift of presence intentionally this season: celebrate others’ wins, sit with them in pain, express appreciation, forgive where needed, and take time to let people feel seen and “felt.” Because when we show up, we don’t just fill space—we change hearts, regulate nervous systems, strengthen bonds, and remind each other we are not alone.

Human Intimacy Conference — March 13–14, 2026

Human Intimacy Courses & Online Programs

Referenced Concepts / Recommended Reading

Dan Siegel — Feeling Felt & Interpersonal Neurobiology

Irving Yalom — Presence and relational connection

Research on loneliness as a public health concern and the power of human connection

In this episode of the Human Intimacy Podcast, Dr. Kevin Skinner and licensed clinical social worker Marianne Michaelis explore the powerful—and often invisible—stories we tell ourselves about who we are and how others see us. Even when people share the same experience, their interpretations can be radically different, shaped by past wounds, shame, fear, and unmet needs.

Through clinical examples, personal stories, and everyday moments of misunderstanding, they unpack how the brain naturally fills in gaps to create meaning—and how those meanings can quietly dictate our emotions, reactions, and relationships. The conversation highlights common shame-based narratives such as “I’m too much,” “I’m not enough,”or “I don’t matter,” and how these stories become internalized as truth over time.

Dr. Skinner and Marianne emphasize the importance of awareness, fact-checking, emotional ownership, and curiosity—both toward ourselves and others. Healing begins when we slow down, speak our stories in safe places, challenge old assumptions, and allow compassion to replace judgment. The episode closes with an invitation to approach others—and ourselves—with deeper curiosity, asking not “What’s wrong?” but “What’s the story?”

Skinner, K. – Treating Trauma from Sexual Betrayal

Tutu, D. & Tutu, M. – The Book of Forgiveness

Brown, B. – I Thought It Was Just Me (But It Isn’t)

Siegel, D. – Mindsight

Human Intimacy Podcast – Episode on Emotional Ownership

Journaling as a tool for emotional processing and self-reflection

Concepts referenced:

Shame narratives

Emotional ownership

Fact-checking internal stories

Fight-or-flight responses and meaning-making

Compassion vs. judgment