In this episode of the Human Intimacy Podcast, Dr. Kevin Skinner and licensed clinical social worker Marianne Michaelis explore the powerful—and often invisible—stories we tell ourselves about who we are and how others see us. Even when people share the same experience, their interpretations can be radically different, shaped by past wounds, shame, fear, and unmet needs.

Through clinical examples, personal stories, and everyday moments of misunderstanding, they unpack how the brain naturally fills in gaps to create meaning—and how those meanings can quietly dictate our emotions, reactions, and relationships. The conversation highlights common shame-based narratives such as “I’m too much,” “I’m not enough,”or “I don’t matter,” and how these stories become internalized as truth over time.

Dr. Skinner and Marianne emphasize the importance of awareness, fact-checking, emotional ownership, and curiosity—both toward ourselves and others. Healing begins when we slow down, speak our stories in safe places, challenge old assumptions, and allow compassion to replace judgment. The episode closes with an invitation to approach others—and ourselves—with deeper curiosity, asking not “What’s wrong?” but “What’s the story?”

Skinner, K. – Treating Trauma from Sexual Betrayal

Tutu, D. & Tutu, M. – The Book of Forgiveness

Brown, B. – I Thought It Was Just Me (But It Isn’t)

Siegel, D. – Mindsight

Human Intimacy Podcast – Episode on Emotional Ownership

Journaling as a tool for emotional processing and self-reflection

Concepts referenced:

Shame narratives

Emotional ownership

Fact-checking internal stories

Fight-or-flight responses and meaning-making

Compassion vs. judgment