Kate Eckman breaks down why so many high-achieving people feel disconnected despite doing everything "right." She explains how self-abandonment begins early in life as a way to earn love, safety, and approval—and how people-pleasing, perfectionism, and overachievement are survival responses, not strengths. Drawing from her own healing journey, Kate reveals why emotional invalidation teaches us to doubt our instincts, silence our truth, and perform instead of feel. She shares why choosing yourself often feels lonely, how solitude exposes what distraction hides, and why telling the truth—kindly and clearly—is the foundation of real self-love. This isn't about motivation or positive thinking; it's about stopping self-betrayal, releasing old identities, and coming home to yourself.

Watch our episode on YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@MattLeBris

Monetize your personal brand in 2026: https://freebrandcall.com/mattlebris

In this episode you will:

• Understand how self-abandonment forms and shapes relationships, success, and identity

• Learn why people-pleasing and perfectionism are trauma responses, not personality traits

• Discover why being alone feels uncomfortable—and how it leads to self-trust

• Identify when it's time to let go of an identity that no longer fits

• Redefine success as living in truth instead of performing for approval

Connect with Kate:

Listen to her podcast: https://www.kateeckman.tv/podcast

Find her on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/kateeckman/

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Connect with Matt:

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YouTube

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Hey, if you made it this far in the show notes... thank you for your support. I'm grateful you're not only listening to the show, but you're engaged enough to read this. It would mean the world to show if you shared this with someone who needs it. This episode (and our others) has so much powerful meaning to it... someone in your life needs it. Thank you <3

👉 Want clarity on your own brand? Book a free 1:1 call with the Brand Builders team: https://freebrandcall.com/mattlebris/

Most people think they've healed their past. But the truth is far heavier: your childhood blueprint is still running your life — your relationships, your success, your self-worth — and you don't even realize it.

In this raw and revealing conversation, therapist and author Jason VanRuler returns to Decoding Success to break open the invisible patterns that shape us: earning love, chasing highs, self-sabotaging the moment life gets quiet, and mistaking achievement for fulfillment. This episode isn't about blame — it's about finally understanding why you are the way you are… and how to rewrite the script.

If you've ever wondered why you push so hard, why you crash so hard, or why the middle feels unbearable — this one will hit you right in the truth.

WATCH ON YOUTUBE: https://www.youtube.com/@MattLeBris

• The childhood wound most people think they healed… but is still driving everything.

• Why high achievers feel empty even when they're "winning."

• The difference between using pain and being controlled by it.

• How to stop earning love and start feeling "I'm okay either way.

• How to change your relationship with your past without reliving every wound.

• What self-sabotage actually is — and the surprising first step to stop it.

• The role expectations play in suffering (especially with parents).

• Why being your authentic self feels so dangerous — and why it's the only path to real connection.

This conversation is simple, confronting, and clarifying — the kind that doesn't just give answers, but gives you yourself back.

Connect with Jason

Website: https://www.jasonvr.com/

Pre-Order the NEW Book

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/jason.vanruler/

Chapters

00:00 The Drive for Success and Parental Influence 02:28 Understanding Past Pain and Its Impact 05:27 The Role of Pain in Motivation 08:16 Embracing the Middle of Transformation 10:59 Finding Fulfillment Beyond Achievement 14:00 Shifting Intentions and Self-Acceptance 17:01 Whose Voice Are You Listening To? 17:53 Understanding High-Pressure Moments 19:06 The Nature of Resilience 20:03 Beyond Talking: Processing Pain 20:53 Identifying Patterns in Pain 22:14 The Role of Expectations in Relationships 23:37 Making Peace with Family Dynamics 25:51 Accepting People for Who They Are 27:39 The Question of Self-Acceptance 29:30 Grieving Unmet Expectations 31:31 Finding Acceptance in What We Need 33:37 Cultural Influences on Our Needs 34:23 The Complexity of Modern Life 36:30 Authenticity in Relationships 38:59 The Challenge of Being Authentic 41:50 Navigating Modern Dating 44:51 The Importance of Relationships 45:49 Healing Through Storytelling 50:20 Understanding the 'Why' Behind Our Actions 53:08 Embracing Failure as a Path to Growth 55:59 The Myths of Trauma and Healing 57:48 The Importance of Communication in Relationships 01:00:31 Simplifying Life: The Hard Mode Dilemma

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Rory Vaden joins the show to break down why differentiation is dead — and why your real advantage is your uniqueness. If you've ever struggled to build an authentic personal brand because you've spent years people-pleasing, fitting in, or carrying an identity that wasn't truly yours, this episode is a reset.

Rory shares how he reinvented himself overnight, why nobody is thinking about your brand as much as you think they are, and the simple shift that helps you build a brand rooted in service, not ego. We also dive into his Trajectory Test, becoming rejection-proof, and the real reason most people aren't making the money they want.

If you're a creator, expert, entrepreneur, or anyone building a personal brand, this episode will change how you think about growth, identity, and visibility.

Watch all episodes on YouTube

• Why uniqueness > differentiation

• How to reinvent yourself instantly ("plant, pivot, and go")

• Why personal branding is not about you — it's about who you serve

• The Trajectory Test for long-term success

• The real reason you're not making money yet

• How to overcome the fear of rejection

• Free personal brand strategy call: freebrandcall.com/mattlebris

• Free audiobook of Wealthy & Well-Known: freebrandaudiobook.com/mattlebris

Connect with Rory

• Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/roryvaden/
• Website: https://roryvaden.com/

💰 Book your F R E E Brand Strategy Call here: freebrandcall.com/mattlebris

In this powerful and deeply honest conversation, Matt sits down with bestselling author, entrepreneur, and spiritual teacher Jessica Zweig for a raw exploration of what it really means to surrender, evolve, and take radical responsibility for your life.

Jessica opens up about her recent season of expansion — navigating anxiety, overwhelm, business transitions, spiritual initiation, and the deeper truth behind why so many of us resist change even when we're praying for a breakthrough.

Together, they unpack the difference between surviving and co-creating, how to listen to your body's signals without letting fear lead, and why our toughest moments are often the exact pathways into our next level.

This episode is equal parts grounding and activating — especially if you're in a season of uncertainty, reinvention, or feeling like you're outgrowing the life around you.

• Why surrender is the true catalyst for growth

• How to trust change when everything feels uncertain

• The role of "initiations" in your spiritual and personal evolution

• Why overwhelm and anxiety aren't life sentences

• How to develop radical self-responsibility (and why it's a superpower)

• The body's truth: what your anxiety is really trying to tell you

• How to stop outsourcing your power to mentors, coaches, and relationships

• The surprising connection between joy, abundance, and alignment

• What happens when you finally take off the mask

• Why softness is strength — and how to practice it daily

Website: jessicasweig.com Instagram: @jessicasweig Podcast: The Spiritual Hustler Books: Be and The Light Work

Send this to someone going through a transition. Share this with a friend who needs a reminder that they're not behind — they're being initiated.

BOOK YOUR FREE BRAND STRATEGY CALL 👉 https://freebrandcall.com/mattlebris

In this powerful episode of Decoding Success, we are joined by Dr. Mariel Buqué — psychologist, intergenerational trauma expert, and author of Break The Cycle.

This conversation goes deep into what healing actually looks like, why the in-between seasons of life feel so uncomfortable, how to train your nervous system to tolerate triggers, and why breaking cycles can feel lonely — especially for the black sheep, cycle-breakers, and self-healers.

If you've ever felt like you're evolving faster than the environment around you… If you've ever felt misunderstood during your healing journey… If you're learning to receive love differently… this episode is going to speak directly to you.

https://www.youtube.com/c/MattLeBris

• Why healing is NOT a destination — but a series of micro victories

• The real reason the in-between phase feels so restless

• How to micro-expose yourself to triggers instead of avoiding them

• The link between trauma, avoidance, and the need for control

• The loneliness of being the cycle breaker in your family

• Why some wounds we carry are not originally ours

• The difference between external vs. internal validation

• How to process shame and rebuild a sense of self-worth

• What true presence looks like — and small practices to cultivate it

Website → https://www.drmarielbuque.com/ Her Book, Break The Cycle → https://www.drmarielbuque.com/breakthecycle LinkedIn → https://www.linkedin.com/in/dr-mariel-buqu%C3%A9/ Instagram → https://www.instagram.com/dr.marielbuque/

👉 Start here (free strategy call): freebrandcall.com/mattlebris

Today's conversation with TV personality and author Valerie Greenberg is a masterclass in shifting from external approval to inner authority. We dig into befriending the inner critic, choosing presence over the next "big high," and how to build your Confidence Community... those truth-tellers who both cheer you on and call you up. If you've ever felt like a black sheep trying to "catch up," this one brings you back to center.

• Best-friend energy: Practical ways to befriend (not silence) your inner critic so you can respond instead of react.

• Ambition vs. acceptance: How to hold big goals while staying present on the "flatline" days.

• The curiosity reset: A simple "ask why" loop to process anxiety and stop chasing the next hit of validation.

• Confidence Community: Who belongs in it, how to find them, and why "the least powerful person" can change your life.

• Ego off, outcomes on: Following up without taking things personally—and using wins as smart re-engagement moments.

• Self-care ≠ vanity: Aligning workouts, sleep, and habits with feeling grounded (not performing for the feed).

• Breaking habits the honest way: From nail-biting to bigger patterns—how to assess, ask for help, and upgrade behavior.

• Free Brand Strategy Call (Matt): freebrandcall.com/mattlebris

• Valerie's Book: You've Been Validated — Amazon link

• Valerie on Instagram: @valgreenberg

• Follow Decoding Success and turn on notifications.

• Share this episode with the friend who's hardest on themselves.

• Leave a rating & review—tell us your favorite takeaway and tag Matt & Val on IG.

• 00:00 — Why "you've been validated" starts with your own stamp of approval

• 02:40 — Being your own best friend (perfectionism, overthinking, and doing anyway)

• 05:16 — Presence over comparison: getting okay with "good enough today"

• 08:25 — "Where you are is right": ambition without self-rejection

• 10:45 — A porter's two minutes that lit up the whole day (character > status)

• 13:20 — Authenticity that translates on and off camera

• 14:54 — There's only one you: why the world needs your exact wiring

• 16:28 — Bullying, anxiety, and becoming a natural cheerleader

• 21:02 — Feeling feelings > fearing feelings (shadow work basics)

• 27:12 — Curiosity loop for the "flatline" days

• 29:42 — Self-care done right: intention > imitation

• 33:38 — How to assemble your Confidence Community (and who's worthy)

• 45:42 — The "lowest" person who unlocked the biggest break

• 49:20 — Valerie's one piece of advice: recognize and share your value

MAKE MONEY FROM YOUR PERSONAL BRAND 👉 https://freebrandcall.com/mattlebris/

WATCH ALL EPISODES ON YOUTUBE 👉 https://www.youtube.com/c/MattLeBris

What if the thing standing between you and peace… is the lie you keep telling yourself?

In this raw and powerful conversation, Richie Romero joins Decoding Success to unpack what it truly means to heal. From facing the truths we've buried, to setting boundaries that honor who we're becoming, Richie shares how his most painful seasons became the path to clarity, hope, and alignment.

You'll learn why chasing success, validation, or control will never quiet the noise inside — and how surrendering to truth can. This episode will remind you that healing isn't about fixing what's broken; it's about finally being honest enough to rebuild on what's real.

• How self-deception keeps you stuck in cycles of pain

• The difference between reacting quickly and responding wisely

• Why "solving on the surface" never leads to true peace

• How to set boundaries that free you — not isolate you

• What it really looks like to face yourself and start again

• How hope can still exist even after everything falls apart

Follow Richie on Instagram → @RichieRomero Learn more about his work → richieromero.com

BUILD YOUR BRAND WITH INTENTION 👉 https://freebrandcall.com/mattlebris/

Psychotherapist Terri Cole reveals how childhood wounds quietly shape every relationship you have—and how to finally heal them. From codependency and fear of disapproval to the inability to set healthy boundaries, Terri shares the personal stories and therapeutic frameworks that have helped thousands reclaim their self-worth and rebuild trust in love. She opens up about the moment she realized she was abandoning herself in relationships, the three questions that expose repeating relationship patterns, and how learning to speak your truth—without guilt—is the key to secure attachment. You'll walk away understanding that you can't build healthy love by trying to be perfect; you build it by learning to be real.

Follow Terri on Instagram: @terricole Join Terri's Membership: terricole.com/tcm Get her bestselling book, Boundary Boss: terricole.com

• Uncover the roots of codependency – Learn how childhood dynamics create patterns of people-pleasing, fear of disapproval, and self-abandonment in adulthood

• Master the Three Cues for Clarity – Terri's simple framework to identify who someone reminds you of, where you've felt this before, and how that pattern repeats

• Redefine boundaries as self-respect – Discover why preferences, desires, and deal-breakers are the foundation of every healthy relationship

• Heal your attachment style – Understand how early attunement—or lack of it—impacts your ability to form secure, interdependent relationships

• Transform discomfort into growth – Learn why uncomfortable conversations are where real healing and intimacy begin

• Build emotional maturity – Replace control and reactivity with curiosity, empathy, and self-awareness in every relationship

Get more from Matt:

• Follow on Instagram: @MattLeBris

• Watch full video episodes on YouTube: Decoding Success

Build Your Personal Brand 👉 https://freebrandcall.com/mattlebris/

What would you do if life gave you a 3% chance to live?

In this episode of The Decoding Success Podcast, host Matt LeBris sits down with John Ulsh, a husband, father, entrepreneur, and survivor of a devastating car accident that nearly claimed his life.

John's story isn't just about survival — it's about the radical grace required to rebuild when everything you knew is gone. He opens up about waking up from trauma, learning to take life one first step at a time, and the mindset that transforms setbacks into starting points.

This conversation is a reminder that there are countless ways to go backward, but only one way to move forward — through grace, patience, and a willingness to begin again.

If you've ever felt like you were starting over, this one's for you.

• The mindset shift that helped John find purpose after tragedy

• How to give yourself grace when life sets you back

• Why progress isn't linear — and why that's a good thing

• The importance of redefining strength as acceptance instead of perfection

• How to take your next "first step," no matter how small

Follow John on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/johnulsh/

Grab a Copy of The Upside of Down here: https://www.johnulsh.com/publications

John's website: https://www.johnulsh.com/

WORKING ON YOUR PERSONAL BRAND? DON'T DO IT ALONE 👉 https://freebrandcall.com/mattlebris/

In this episode of The Decoding Success Podcast, host Matt LeBris sits down with world-renowned performance coach Jason Stacy, the man behind some of the most elite athletes and CEOs on the planet. Jason's work with Olympians, professional fighters, and even the #1 tennis player in the world has given him a unique perspective on what it really takes to perform at the highest level.

Jason shares his powerful framework built around the 3 E's of Success — Emotions, Energy, and Environment — and why mastering these three areas is the key to sustainable high performance in sports, business, and life.

• How to control your emotions so you don't get stuck in negative patterns or fear-based decision-making.

• How to harness your energy and use your body to shift your state instantly.

• Why auditing your environment — both internal and external — is essential for growth and long-term success.

• The surprising connection between discipline, small daily choices, and peak performance.

• Why Jason believes your operating system (emotions, energy, environment) matters more than any "app" or strategy.

• Follow Jason on Instagram: @JasonStacy

• Join Jason's newsletter: The Coaching Sweet Spot

• Keep up with Jason's upcoming book release (October 2026)

• Free Strategy Call with Brand Builders Group: https://freebrandcall.com/mattlebris/