Today Barbara is joined by Jill Davis,* whose father is battling dementia on the east coast. Jill says at first, the symptoms seemed mild: he was mixing pronouns and forgetting words. But from there, it progressed quickly. She describes the shock and confusion she felt when she realized her dad had lost most of his memories, and how she struggles to understand their relationship now that he has no memory of her childhood. 

*not her real name

It was Ramona Garza’s daughter who first noticed that George (Ramona’s husband) seemed different. A fastidious engineer, he was ignoring bills and letting important things fall through the cracks. George was officially diagnosed with Alzheimer’s in 2016 but looking back, Ramona says the signs were there much earlier. Ramona joins Barbara to discuss the early signs of memory loss, and how sometimes a spouse can be too close to see them. 

By the time Chris Zenner’s mother was diagnosed with Lewy Body Dementia in 2020, she had lost her short-term memory, her concept of time, and her ability to rationalize and reason. Chris joins Barbara to talk about caring for his mother, who was a fiercely independent and strong-willed woman, as her personality radically changes and she can no longer take care of herself.  

Barbara is joined by Megan Dobkin on the day she learns her father is moving into the memory unit of an assisted living facility. Megan talks about how hard it was in the early days, when her father was cognizant enough to realize something was happening to his brain. She and Barbara discuss the limitations of testing for diseases like Alzheimer’s, particularly when doctors don’t have a baseline to compare their patients’ responses. Megan says one of the biggest struggles for her and her family was knowing her father changed, but not having anything show up in the tests. “Only we as a family knew where he was coming from,” she says. 

Today Barbara is joined by Kenneth Mitchell, whose wife Mary Ann was diagnosed with Parkinson’s disease in 2013 and Lewi bodies dementia in 2016. Ken recounts how hard it was for him to accept the diagnosis, and the irrational lengths he went to in the beginning trying to help her. Looking back, he says that accepting that she won’t get better has been one of the hardest parts. As Mary Ann’s condition declines, Ken is overwhelmed by what she’s forced to endure: “She’s my hero, I don’t know what I’d do if I had what’s going on with her.”

Marina Day joins Barbara to talk about her husband, Paul, who was diagnosed with Alzheimer’s 10 years ago. She describes how difficult it was in the beginning, when Paul realized he coudn’t drive anymore and had to shut down his law office. “The world opened up in a dark way for him,” she says, “he became really depressed.” Marina tells Barbara about hiring their first caregiver, and telling Paul he was his driver. She also describes techniques she used to help Paul remember things -- detailed charts she ultimately turned into an art piece.

Bill Coleman returns to talk to Barbara more about caring for his wife, Deborah, who was diagnosed with posterior cortical atrophy eight years ago. Deborah was a talented and beloved architect, but this condition affected her ability to draw, read plans, organize her thoughts, and process information. After decades of deciding things together, Bill talks about how hard it is to make all the decisions by himself, and how painful it was to close down Deborah’s architecture firm.  

For more information on posterior cortical atrophy please visit this link.

In her first episode with both spouses, today Barbara is joined by Bill and Deborah Coleman. Eight years ago, Deborah was diagnosed with a rare form of Alzheimer’s which affects visual and spatial relationships. An accomplished architect, Deborah had to stop working. “It feels like part of my brain is missing,” she says. They discuss the challenges of managing her disease, and the importance of maintaining a sense of structure and routine. 

Today Barbara is joined by social worker and co-facilitator of her Alzheimer’s support group, Monica Moore. Monica is the community health program manager for the Mary S. Easton Center for Alzheimer´s Disease Research at UCLA and co-director training and education activities at UCLA-CADC. They talk about how isolating the world of dementia is for the caretaker, and how it’s helpful to know other people are going through the same thing you are. They discuss how to find the right group and why it’s so powerful to hear someone else tell your story. 

When Linda’s mother Grace was diagnosed with Lewy body dementia (LBD) in 2019, Linda felt sadness and relief at the same time. (LBD is a degenerative condition with many similarities to Alzheimer's disease, but it takes hold much more quickly.) LBD is difficult to identify, and now they had an answer for why Grace seemed different -- why she was repeating stories and feeling depressed and bored. Linda and Barbara discuss the difficult transition of moving her parents from their home on the east coast out to California. The plan was for them to stay in Linda’s pool house temporarily before moving into an assisted living facility, but COVID happened, so they’re still there.

If you’d like to learn more about LBD, here is a link to some resources: https://www.lbda.org/