In this episode we talk about fear and the different areas it shows up in like parenting, learning who you are and the reality of being single and parenting. What discipline look likes when not having the support of your spouse. Kelly does a great job at sharing what it was like for her to discover a structure that worked for her and also how she discovered that speaking her truth lessened the weight of expectations. 

She explains how having conversations is the most important thing to do and trying to authentically communicate with a partner around where your struggles are what you are working out in yourself is key to having a new relationship.

She shared a great piece of wisdom in offering a tip from her experiences, which speaks to the flow of communication for all of us. If you are met with their defenses, whatever they are. Try not to absorb them and stay centered on your truths, she advises others to feel that love in your heart for the other person as you move through whatever it is. 

In this episode we explore what it is like to go from marriage, to divorce, and then to co-parenting. In the beginning Kelly recalls not really knowing who she was, while her ex was colder and harsher once the divorce began to take shape. Because they grew up together, she feels they were able to find a friendship in the process and as a result of that she is currently friends with him and his current wife.

Kelly’s belief is that what we experience is on purpose, placed in our path to help us work out and grow from. Because the kids were important to her and her ex, she focused on creating the next white picket fence for them. Providing her kids a support structure that was and continues to be strong. 

Ultimately, she believes that what the kids need is for their adults to be okay. “If my ex and I can show up for them happy and content, then we have done our job”.

In this episode we learn that Kelly’s mom recommended a week long grief therapy once the divorce was final. We discover how it played a pivotal role with Kelly and how she learned  to handle the pain while building coping skills for life in general.  She also shares how important it was for her to not have to worry about cooking or responsibilities and allow herself to be sad for that week. 

She speaks about what she discovered in that time and how she became aware of her unconscious and then being conscious, understanding her personality structure and how to give language to what motivates and drives her. 

It was in that course that she became passionate about helping others find what she found in herself, which led her towards being a life coach and all the other amazing adventures in entrepreneurship she has since started.

Kelly talks about what happens when you are heart broken and disappointed in how life is showing up. She shares how she helps people slow down in her coaching and figure out the deeper meaning of what is being experienced so that you can authentically heal. 

This is a special episode, it has the warmth of Kelly's past and all the possibilities she created back then and still nurtures today. She gives you a good story to place down your coffee cup on, as you stare into the fire of her obstacles and warm up to the victories of the present. 

Most importantly, it reveals how necessary it is to allow your emotions to exist and to take the time you need to heal.

Meet Kelly Redfield, a mother of two beautiful girls, newly re-married after being divorced for 8 years and a life coach, entrepreneur and all around Alabama native. She met her ex when she was 14 and married at 21. She explains how “We did decide to marry because we didn’t really feel like our families let us be adults until we married. I didn’t even go on vacations with them, so this was our way to take our relationship to the next level but we didn’t necessarily understand what that meant because we were looking at it with teenage eyes”.

Overall they were married 10 years and there was a lot of pain around separating, there was a co-dependency that was built between the two of them because they didn’t have a lot of relationship experience outside of just the two of them.

They built their identities around each other. When it was time to begin separating they decided to have a long separation before signing papers because the kids we're still very young. Five and two at the time. She explains how it was a really natural process for the both of them. They had just gotten to the point where they couldn’t be healthy together anymore and were fighting way too much. 

She tells us how she knew they had to separate because the life that the kids would have with them together is not the life they deserved. They could do better apart and as friends.

Kelly shares how childhood sweethearts is really uncommon for long term relationships because you build habits on how you fight and what triggers the other person having arguments as adults but behaving like when you met.

You can find Kelly here:
Website: https://www.celestinevision.com/services
Facebook: @kellyredfieldcoaching · Personal Coach

In our last episode with Kelly we hear her say that she knows people are good, that they don’t want to be hateful. She also shares what she assumes is her role in the process, which is to not make them hateful, her job is to move them on. She makes it a point to clarify that she is not trained to do psychology, but she knows a lot of good therapists.

Her one consistent advice is that you don’t make decisions when you are angry. 

Kelly then shares a success story of a 70 year man, married for 50 years wanting a divorce to be with his high school sweetheart who’s husband has cancer and is dying.

In this episode Kelly talks about how she wants to not care, but she actually does care about her divorce clients. Even the ones that come across angry, she cares because they are hurting. 

She talks about how everybody is hurting and wants justice, but how she just wants to tell them "you are not going to get that in court, there is a limit to what the law can do." The law can never punish the husband for cheating. The law can never punish the wife for getting pregnant if you are not there. She also brings insight into the victim mindset and stated that just because you are a housewife, doesn’t mean you should be clueless about money. If your husband brings in all the money, you should insist on managing it.

We touched lightly on prenups and also what constitutes her personal moral fiber. The steps for her to take on a new client and what can cause that relationship to go south if she finds out. 

When asked what is something people should know or do, she stated if you go to a lawyer angry, you are not thinking clearly and if it’s not the right lawyer, they will manipulate you. Divorce lawyers are not in the business of hating your spouse, they are not in the business of chasing your spouse for revenge. That is not what they are in the business of.

In this episode we talked about the limitations within the law. How, however you are prior to the divorce with your kids will most likely remain the same within the law. Kelly explains why in California there is a six month waiting period and when it actually starts.  She shares how If people would stop fighting, then lawyers would stop making money. She makes it very clear that it starts with you, so don’t blame your lawyer for something you did. She explains how the paperwork for a divorce is a walk in the park, reaching an agreement between you and your spouse is the hardest thing.

Don’t miss out on her entire interview, Kelly does a very good job at explaining and sharing about what to do and what not do in her episodes.

In this episode we discuss how people behave within a divorce. The options you have available to you from a family law perspective and some of the differences within those options. She really gets detailed on the importance of the attorney’s role and how she specifically navigates her process. Which begins with an hour of counsel where you learn about your options and go over the law for your divorce case.

She informs us of where we could go to find support from the city of Los Angeles if you cannot afford an attorney and offers up solutions towards reaching an amicable agreement with your spouse. She states how “It sucks to be cheated on, to be cut off, to be betrayed. But you have to learn that the law doesn’t really compensate you for that”. She does a great job of educating us on the reality of divorce, the lawyer’s role and the expectations.

Kelly is really one of the good ones and when you hear this episode, it is really difficult to deny that. If you find yourself looking for representation in the Los Angeles area, I invite you to consider speaking with Kelly. It is rare to find someone who has such rooted values in her field and is genuine. 

Get ready to meet Divorce Attorney Kelly Chang Rickert as she explains in detail all the things you should and could expect from someone in her profession. She also shares some valuable insights into the reality of getting a divorce and how it can get ugly. This is the episode that really preps you for understanding what a divorce attorney does and does not do, which she explains vividly. 

Kelly is going to break down what she does, what she has seen others do, and what she believes the responsibility of the divorce lawyer is. She educates you on the process, gives you a ballpark figure of how much it would cost, and also what her fees are, as well as how retainers work. 

In this segment alone we cover so much ground, I would invite you to consider having tools for taking notes handy. The other option is you can listen to it again and again. However you choose to keep track is perfect. Kelly is clear and concise and if you have interviewed attorneys you will quickly learn that she is the real deal. Alright, let’s get into it.

In this last episode with Stephane, we polish up the importance of needing a plan. He recalled how his lawyer said to him that on paper he was bankrupt and how that had him make a plan. He created a daily budget, which helped him get back on his feet and allowed him to know where he was going. 

He also speaks about dating and how that was not a focus for him till he was ready. After being married for 20 years he shares how he didn’t know what to do. How you have to be ready before adding people to the equation.  According to Stephane, divorce makes you grow in a lot of different ways, which makes you who you are. He states that divorce is an opportunity for a second chance, to start over.

This interview with Stephane was another glance into what a man observes and experiences inside a divorce. The more interviews that become available on Divorce The First Six Months, the more it is realized that whether you are a man or a woman, we all crave and feel the same emotions. Some more than others, but ultimately we wish to be loved and understand. 

We make the best of our situations, and for most, we rise out of the situations as better people. Stephane is a perfect example of that. It took getting divorced to begin doing the things he wanted to do in life. Which begs the question. Why don’t we do it while we are with our partners. Why does it take us losing something to remember or commit to what we want for ourselves?