In this episode we start to hear what it was like for Stephane to communicate what he was going through. We talk about the challenges of sharing and where he wishes he would have talked more.  How in his mind he didn’t even know what friend he could talk to. 

We also learn that the divorce was a second chance for him to do the things he had wanted to but never did, like the podcast and opening his own business. How he filled up the gaps in his life that were empty and why all of this actually brought him closer to his kids, which is very grateful for. He states that at the end of the day, I think everybody wants to be heard and the more you hear about it the more it will be helpful to the next person. 

In this episode we talk about what he did to deal with stress and anxiety. Working from his new home made things worse, because he was in one spot indoors for so long, so he began to walk as much as three times a day. His kids laughed, but that opened the door to communication with them. He talks about what it was like to go on those walks and what it meant to him and his healing process. 

We start to hear where he began to turn things around for himself and how he reached his one day at a time perspective. How he began to count his blessings and started focusing on the good things to help him get through it, which he did. He talks about his realization about how it was up to him to move forward and what it takes to fulfill on that. 

Once he was able to see what was important in life, he focused on that.

In this episode we talk about the reality of moving on and what that looks like. From the new apartment, to the kids eventually moving in with him full time. He shares how rough it was being alone for the first time and how he didn’t waste time when he had visitations with the kids. 

He shares how relieved he felt when the divorce was final and the signatures were completed. He felt like he could finally start thinking about himself, now that he knew what to expect from the future from a legal perspective. 

We talked about his kids and what it was like for him going through the many first six months he experienced. How the parenting changed and how the guilt he had for being the one who caused this had a grip on him. Eventually, he learned that the kids were smart and that he had underestimated them. He gives his kids a lot of credit for being better prepared than he was.

If you are a parent and wondering what to do with the kids, how to tell them or what to say, this is a great episode.

Say hello to Stephane Jutras. A divorced man and father of two teenagers. A business owner and fellow podcaster. I am excited that you have the opportunity to meet him and hear his story. He is a man who has found his voice within this topic labeled divorce and shares it freely, both to me and his own audience on his podcast. It was refreshing to find someone else who has braved the experience and created something out of it who appreciates what he learned along the way. Embracing the good and the bad.

You can find Stephane’s podcast at http://thedivorceddaddiaries.com and I really invite you to listen to it. He is a kind and insightful human being who speaks to us with the kind of sincerity many of us can appreciate. His story and the way he moved into his new life after almost 20 years of marriage has many life lessons for you to learn from. Starting with what he describes as having three First Six Months, not one. So, technically you get three interviews in one.

He discusses how they told the kids about the divorce and how once the divorce was real everything changed and quickly doubled in price. He talks about his legal process and goes into detail about what he learned about the reality of the day to day that took him two years to get through.  

In this episode we learn that sometimes what we go through in life has a reason and Jill shares some of hers. From struggling with unhealthy eating habits to being grateful for the experience of marriage and divorce. It is all part of the journey and journaling was her way of releasing it.

Being in a position where she can now help others through her coaching has given her an opportunity to grow and make herself happy. She speaks about accepting the situation that you are in and how it may seem hard but she advises that you still choose it. Placing energy into somebody else changing is not something you should do. 

In this episode we look at what it is like for the kids. The importance of respecting them and them respecting you. We talk about the dad and how the kids view him. Jill decided to not discredit the dad, but if they ever ask about him, she will say what is true for her. She talks about how getting angry is only hurting yourself. 

“My emotion, my reaction, my blowing up does not change his behavior, All it does is get me upset.” This episode reveals the logic behind releasing your ex and allowing who they are be revealed to the kids. 

In this episode we talk about how Jill wanted her then husband to be in the marriage but he was showing himself to her and she had to decide. She had to choose while being stuck in this place of uncertainty. She recalls wishing that someone would just tell her what to do. “You start to mourn what you thought you would have and in reality you never had that, you never had this dream or family dynamic so you start to grieve what you thought it should have looked like instead of the reality of what it was.” 

Jill talks about the kids and what dating was like after the divorce. She shares how she is “a huge tightass about anybody meeting my kids. I have only had one person since I started dating. They didn’t sign up for the divorce.” She then shares about how to love your kids during these times and what worked for her.  She talked to her kids straight, like adults. 

Jill Gulotta is an East Coast bomb dropping rawness that tastes better than sashimi.  She walks us through her first six months in detail sharing from the turmoil to the expectations. Immediately, we get deep in the conversation and what is revealed is a slice of life that anyone who has gone through divorce can relate to. In this interview you learn who Jill is and you can hear her passion for how she got herself to where she is today. 

Jill was divorced in 2018 and has two handsome young men who are her world. She also helps women create a life they love after divorce by repairing emotional and physical health while reclaiming their independence and rebuilding self esteem. Jill is a divorce coach and registered dietician and you can find her at JillGulotta.com

Let’s find out more about Jill! 
Click to listen and don’t forget to like and follow if the episode made a difference for you. 

In this episode, I speak about what is important to me now. How I view marriage and what I want next. I share about what I find to be the core of what I value and look forward to and detail as descriptively as I know to be possible what I consider sage advice. I acknowledge the good that came from the union with her and why I am committed to being an advocate for divorce being an opportunity.

My Peter Pan story completes in a Disney ending with a powerful message to anyone, anywhere that is going through anything, which is… Listen and find out.

I want to say thank you to Abbie Weiss for creating this podcast episode with me. It is more often than not lonely when you are the creator of something. So, when someone joins you as Abbie has, it becomes a playful adventure worth sharing and you or I in this instance get to speak into existence my story. I get to take part and share myself with you as you have with me.  I am grateful for the opportunity and have a new admiration for each of my guests that have and will participate. 

Till next time, Be courageous, Be vulnerable...It makes a difference.

In this episode, I talk about my perspective on divorce and the process. It became a business transaction, it wasn’t personal once I knew what she had done and was doing. We made a contract and now we were breaking it. I began to train myself to separate church and state while still living with her and her daughter. In that process, I discovered that you can pollute yourself or you can educate yourself. But ultimately, you have a responsibility to yourself. So that is what I did, I educated myself and the more I learned the less I needed or wanted her. The stronger I became the more I understood that I was grateful for the memories and the opportunity to love at the level I had experienced with her. Many go to regret and blame, as I did, but few discover acceptance. That is where I found gold.  I never invalidated her and in the end, I am able to sleep at night...soundly.