Passion Struck with John R. Miles

Dr. Gordon Flett on the Urgent Need to Know You Matter | EP 597


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In Episode 597 of Passion Struck, host John R. Miles sits down with Dr. Gordon Flett, a pioneering psychologist whose decades of research have shaped our understanding of mattering—the feeling of being seen, valued, and significant.

Dr. Flett, author of The Psychology of Mattering and Mattering as a Core Need in Children and Adolescents, explains how mattering is distinct from belonging and self-esteem and why its absence—what he calls “anti-mattering”—can lead to burnout, depression, loneliness, and even hopelessness.

For full show notes: https://passionstruck.com/gordon-flett-the-urgent-need-to-know-you-matter/

In this profound and deeply personal episode, John and Dr. Flett discuss:

  • The difference between mattering, belonging, and self-esteem
  • Why feeling unseen or insignificant is a public health issue
  • How fear of not mattering drives perfectionism and overachievement
  • Why giving mattering to others is just as important as receiving it
  • Strategies to rebuild mattering after loss, failure, or transition

This conversation will change how you see yourself—and how you show up for the people around you.

Dr. Gordon Flett is one of the world’s leading researchers on the psychology of mattering. A recently retired Distinguished Professor of Psychology at York University, he is the former Honorary President of the Canadian Psychological Association

Connect with Dr. Gordon Flett: https://health.yorku.ca/health-profiles/?mid=3719

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Next on Passion Struck:
In the next episode of Passion Struck, John sits down with Anne Marie Anderson, an Emmy Award-winning broadcaster, sports journalist, and leadership expert. Anne Marie has spent years breaking barriers in sports media, navigating high-stakes environments, and coaching top athletes and executives on leadership, resilience, and communication. In our conversation, we'll dive into the mental frameworks of high performers, the art of storytelling, and how to build confidence in any field.

For more information on advertisers and promo codes, visit Passion Struck Deals.

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Episode Starter Packs
With over 500 episodes, it can be overwhelming to know where to start. We’ve curated Episode Starter Packs based on key themes like leadership, mental health, and personal growth, making it easier for you to dive into the topics you care about. Check them out at passionstruck.com/starterpacks.

Catch More of Passion Struck:

  • My solo episode on The Mattering Mindset in Love – Choose the Love You Deserve
  • Can't miss my episode with Jennifer B. Wallace on the Consequences of Prioritizing Achievements Over Mattering
  • My episode with The Art of Listening: How to Make People Feel Like They Matter
  • Catch my interview with Laurie Santos on How to Matter in a Busy World
  • Listen to my solo episode on Fading into Insignificance: The Impact of Un-Mattering in Our Interconnected Era

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How to Connect with John:

  • Connect with John on Twitter at @John_RMiles
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  • Subscribe to our main YouTube Channel and to our YouTube Clips Channel
  • For more insights and resources, visit John’s website

Want to explore where you stand on the path to becoming Passion Struck? Take our 20-question quiz on Passionstruck.com and find out today!

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Passion Struck with John R. MilesBy John R. Miles

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